I want to thank everyone for visiting, reading and responding to these blogs. I am astonished at the amount of interest and I am pleased to read each and every one of your contributions. I enjoy my bloganalysis and am happy it is making other people think about the Real Housewives women in a new way.
Once again, this blog is about examining the psychological disorders displayed by the Real Housewives in the various series featured on Bravo. I do have a legitimate psychology degree but I am not a practicing psychologist. These writings come with the disclaimer that they are intended for entertainment purposes only, mostly my own entertainment.
This time I will be taking a closer look at what makes Danielle Staub, the lightning rod of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, tick. Danielle herself states you will either love her or hate her, with her there is no in between. The other four housewives seem to be on the side of hating her, I find her entertaining. This is not about taking sides though, it is only about psychology. I believe Danielle is a prime example of antisocial personality disorder or psychopathy.
People with antisocial personality disorder use charisma, manipulation, intimidation, sex and even violence to control others and to satisfy their own needs. Lacking in conscience and empathy, they take what they want and do as they please. They violate social norms and expectations when necessary without guilt or remorse. They often commit crimes, fail to hold jobs and otherwise fail to conform.
Self-assured, cool under pressure and socially adept, antisocials may appear larger than life. This image of forcefulness and confidence combined with their charm allows them the ability to tell the most bold-faced lies in a manner that will have otherwise rational people believing them. The ultimate spin doctors, they can twist anything in a way that will best suit their ends.
People with antisocial personality disorder usually play on the sympathies of others. When people’s empathic responses are aroused, they are less inclined to examine an individual’s behaviour. Instead they will attribute bad behaviour to an abusive childhood or other trauma. This provokes the sort of nurturing response that enables the antisocial person to manipulate and extract what she wants from others.
When they are trying to manipulate others, antisocials often engage in dramatic, short-lived emotional displays designed to provoke sympathy or guilt. They can even cause otherwise rational people to believe that they must be crazy for questioning their motives. Antisocial people say whatever will get people to give them what they want. Many work hard to give the impression that all of their problems stem from cruel treatment at the hands of others, and that they could change for the better if only some kindly soul would take an interest in them and support them.
Danielle has told a myriad of people time and again about the tragedies that have befallen her in life. According to Ms. Staub she was; abandoned as a child, suffered childhood physical and sexual abuse, was a survivor of rape as an adult, was beaten, her dog was killed by an ex boyfriend and she lost a child. If true, this is cause for quite a bit of empathy. Various websites have pointed out discrepancies in many of her stories of victimization though. Apparently the details have changed depending on whom she was talking to.
I have also seen time and again Danielle use past trauma to justify her actions. Her stories do seem to have an effect of rallying people to support her. She presents herself as a courageous survivor so I understand why people are stirred to her defense. As a survivor of a traumatic event myself though, the way she talks of her past just does not ring true to me. I cannot imagine using my past horror as any kind of excuse ever, it makes me uncomfortable to even think of it. She talks of things far too casually, as if she is going through the motions of it and it does not genuinely cause her pain. I could be reading into it though.
Antisocials have consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations. We have seen her complain about money issues from her divorce but Ms. Staub has yet to make an attempt to obtain work for herself. She remarked last year she was “too pretty to work” and this season has seemed to indicate that her daughter Christine should be the breadwinner for the family and buy Danielle a house with her earnings. Danielle seems to disdain work, insulting her nemesis Dina by telling us about her past as a salon employee, as if that is beneath Danielle.
Danielle also has a criminal history. She was involved in a kidnapping and extortion plot and was charged accordingly. She was also charged with intent to distribute cocaine. As part of a plea deal, Danielle only had to plead guilty to the extortion charge and serve five years probation. In return she testified against the others involved. When this has been brought up on the show she has answered in a myriad of ways, all evading the exact truth. Time and again she rationalizes her behavior, blames someone else, or denies it outright. Danielle seems to have no sense of guilt or remorse for any harm she may have caused others. She does not comprehend why her past would concern anyone else, including her castmates and RHONJ viewers.
Danielle has demonstrated signs of aggressiveness and tendencies towards revenge tactics. She has issued many verbal threats and even has engaged in borderline stalking activities. I can see where she makes people nervous and I can see where her past might up other’s cause for concern.
That being said I can also see her appeal to her fans, she has a Tony Soprano type charm.
I do think Danielle fits the profile for antisocial personality disorder and is indeed a psychopath. Judge for yourself though. Diagnosis is made by observation of a majority of these behaviors:
- Selfish, callous and remorseless use of others:
- Glibness/superficial charm (smooth-talking, engaging and slick)
- Grandiose sense of self-worth (greatly inflated idea of one’s abilities and self-esteem, arrogance and a sense of superiority)
- Pathological lying
- Conning/manipulative (uses deceit to cheat others for personal gain)
- Lack of remorse or guilt (no feelings or concern for losses, pain and suffering of others)
- Emotional poverty (limited range or depth of feelings)
- Callous/lack of empathy (a lack of feelings toward others; cold, contemptuous and inconsiderate)
- Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
- Chronically unstable, antisocial and socially deviant lifestyle:
- Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom (an excessive need for new, exciting stimulation and risk-taking)
- Parasitic lifestyle (exploitative financial dependence on others)
- Poor behavioral control (frequent verbal abuse and inappropriate expressions of anger)
- Promiscuity (numerous brief, superficial sexual affairs)
- Lack of realistic, long-term goals
- Impulsivity
- Irresponsibility (repeated failure to fulfill or honor commitments and obligations)
- Juvenile delinquency (criminal behavioral problems between the ages of 13-18)
- Early behavior problems (before age 13)
- Revocation of conditional release (violating parole or other conditional release)
- Many short-term marital relationships (lack of commitment to a long-term relationship)
- Criminal versatility (diversity of criminal offenses, whether or not the individual has been arrested or convicted)
For anyone having navigational issues here are the links to the other discussions on the housewives of New Jersey:
https://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/rhonjs-dina-manzo-functioning-well/
A Real Housewife's View 
The term” housewife “certainly has new connotations thanks to Bravo.
The Crazies in all the shows are entertaining ,sadly. Like car races, if there weren’t wrecks you’d lose half the audience. I’m not defending them by any means, these people do need help and need to be held legally accountable !!! I too worry about their kids, and the lives they have destroyed and will destroy. Danielle’s friend Danny is not someone we’d allow around our kids !!! If his probation officer saw the show, why isn’t he back in prison ? HW of DC , why aren’t the Whitehouse crashers in prison ? The Network and the Press love disfunction and the money it brings ,but could care less about who’s being hurt. If they break the law, dump them; I’m sure you can find more Crazies.
“..why aren’t the Whitehouse crashers in prison ?..” Maybe they would be if we had a Real bonafide president in there.!!
I’m not seeing any postings from angelofdevs At All lately…has someone got her in litigation? Hope not.
These profiles are brilliant. Thank you for writing what I have been noticing. It’s like you organized and labeled my thoughts for me! 🙂
Your profiles are really interesting, but I have to say that I’ve completely missed Danielle’s charisma–although that would explain why Jacqueline feels compelled to hang with her.
I feel so sorry for her daughters, who seem lovely and doomed to a lifetime of “mothering” her.
Oh yes, the charisma is there. Did you see her working over the fashion designer at the show and sucking up at the modeling agency.
I feel so bad for her kids.
M
I agree,I feel so sorry for her girls!!They always look so sad! They don”t have a happy look kids should have Poor Things! Their mother is a skank and lazy! Danielle is a disgrace to the itlaian people, she certainly is’nt a stable mother!! She could’nt shine the other N.J. Housewives shoes!!!!!
I’m not Italian and I think she’s a disgrace to people in general.
They do look really sad, they never smile or laugh, and they never have friends around, especially Christine, Danielle puts so much stress on those girls, and Danielle is thrilled that Christine is modeling so she can buy a house for them, Danielle is too lazy and has no working skills to take care of her children, they will have to take care of Danielle the rest of their mother’s life and that’s really sad.
Danielle treats her daughters like their her friends, telling them her personal business, and things they shouldn’t know and forcing them to hug strange men they don’t even know, Danielle is a very disturbed woman, and the things she exposed her children to are disturbing.
I think we’re giving Danielle way too much credit here. She is simply “Boring.” Yes, with a capital ‘B’. And she should be so ashamed at how she conducted herself at the IMG shoot for her daughter. And it’s so clear that her beautiful young daughter will take off the minute she gets a singular taste of freedom…she knows her mom is a real nut case. The daughter clearly does not like her mother. And shame on the fat Jersey Housewife who talks so rudely about Danielle’s daughters. At least, Danielle’s daughters are not throwing sticky meat on the cabinets. That big fattie is a blowhard of a housewife and thinks herself as the head honcho. Gross!
Danielle is just so uninteresting in every single way. I think Bravo is wasting the storyline on her. God, they must be desperate for air time to keep including Danielle in the scenes. You can FEEL the desperation in Danielle… not having any money, a house that is so severely neglected ( I mean, come on, when the realtor did her walk- through and pointed out things that needed repairs, all of them were simple. Come on, Danielle, get up on a ladder and get to work! She is so lazy, so inept, so boring.)
No, it’s more than that…boring is one thing, but to plot to disrupt a benefit being held for a sick infant and create a scene and make it about yourself is something else entirely! She definitely seems to think she is way more important than she is–she has convinced herself that the Manzo’s are “out to get her” when infact, they ignore her and don’t associate with her–she lies constantly about EVERYTHING and thinks that everything that happens in her world–as in, success for her daughter, her ex’s refusal to help her financially, etc.—is actually all about HER, when most of the time, it isn’t…I personally think she is a malignant narcissist and more than a little nutty–If I were the Manzo’s or anyone who comes in contact with this woman, I would definitely be unnerved–she is a dangerous person–just watch how she is at that benefit, it is borderline criminal and her coolness about it and the fact that she is amused with the people she is surrounding herself with is disturbing…her lack of insight into the fact that she obviously counts criminals and ex cons in her circle of friends and brings them into her life and her home seems to directly contradict her statements that she is so different than she was 25 yrs ago, that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, blah blah–I agree with the writer of this review–she is a psychopath–depending on who she is with, she chooses which personality to present and which manipulation to use to present what she thinks is appropriate–that’s the same characteristic stalkers and serial killers possess–seriously…she is unstable at best…
amen. couldn’t agree more. she would probably have no problem putting a hit on someone
She is a very sick woman, to bring gangsters and then go there and start a ruckus at an infants charity event who is battling cancer, she is scum, and she never raised one dollar for that poor baby, she is a vile woman and I will never understand how they brought her back to the show a second time.
Not to mention her thuggish boyfriend. Damn use some hair gel, mousse, something!
One thing that is exceptional about IMG are its Model Contracts which the State of New York has specific clauses that protect earnings made by a minor. This should keep Danielle’s grubby fingers off any potential earnings. IMG is one of the best agencies world-wide and is very protective of those they sign. I have tremendous respect for IMG. But OMG, Danielle and her mouth are going to drive the execs crazy at IMG.
Interesting, I don’t watch the NJ series but now I’m compelled to. Reading your analysis of Danielle, I wonder about another reality star who fits this profile. She was on celeb rehab, her name was Carrieann Peniche I believe, and fits the description of this disorder from what I’ve seen on the show. Do you suppose she has it as well?
I believe Dr Drew mentioned in interviews that Carrieann had underlying mental issues along with her drug abuse.. Carrie is also high on the Narcissism scale..
I think that Cariann from celeb rehab actually more closely resembles someone with borderline personality disorder. This disorder is sometimes considered the “female” version of antisocial P/D. It shares many of the characteristics but the borderline’s displays of manipulation, hyper-emotionality and self-abuse are more classically the female way of acting out the characteristics of an unstable/pathological personality. Her admission that she was sexually abused as a child also fits a classic borderline profile. However, it is definitely possible she carries some antisocial tendencies as well. Regardless, she was a definitely a fun one to try and diagnose!
I think you’re spot on. What’s really amazing is that she’s avoided returning to jail. People like her often in and out of jail their entire lives.
Very interesting. Could you please include in your analysis what causes these personality disorders? Is it an extra “Y” chromosome, for example, or is there a traumatic event occurring in early childhood? This would greatly further our understanding.
Antisocial Personality Disorder is mostly genetic. People are born having it.
The other personality disorders are 10% genetic and 90% environment. Most of the other personality disorders are caused by bad parenting.
I’m sorry but you’re wrong. Experts do not know the cause of any personality disorder and this includes Anti-Social Personality disorder. Genetic and environmental factors may play a part in their development but how much of a role isn’t known. Some research has shown that people with personality disorders (specifically Anti-Social) have physiological differences in their brains compared to “normal” people. But too many other factors could cause this so experts don’t consider this conclusive proof.
The truth probably lies somewhere between a biological and environmental one. For instance, a child could be born with the biological predisposition to develop a personality disorder but won’t if he/she experiences a normal, supportive upbringing. Put that same child in an abusive environment during the most crucial developmental stages and you get a full-blown personality disorder. I’m being simplistic in my explanation but that’s the gist of it.
I do believe Danielle when she says she experienced trauma as a child. The fact that she was adopted hints at a troubled background. In my opinion, she does exhibit characteristics of a B cluster personality disorder. Unfortunately, they have similar traits so to say it’s Anti-Social and not Narcissistic is difficult. (Because of this, the APA is thankfully considering doing away with specific PD diagnoses in the next DSM, instead grouping them under their clusters.) It’s also hard to say whether she is acting because this IS a scripted TV show (producers don’t want viewers thinking about that little nugget, though).
Danielle is toxic. She has the ability to suck the happiness out of a room and draw the attention. Nothing about her is light-hearted or happy, and her constantly-changing story is so convoluted.
Poor Christine & Jillian. It’s sooooo apparent that Danielle talks to them as though they’re her girlfriends because the woman has no friends. And it’s sad when one’s children have to point out that their mother is “being a jerk”, because a mother ought to know better in the first place NOT to stalk or be violent, etc.
And heavens, the resentment is just rolling off Christine when it comes to her fledgling modeling career.
I’d love to see your analysis of Dina as well, RHOA’s Sheree, and RHOC’s Vicki Gunvalson. I’m curious over how you would analyze these ladies… especially because you are so entertaining 🙂
Would love to see an analysis of Sheree!
Yes, yes, please do Sheree AND Vicki Gunvalson! I’d love to see an analysis of Ramona, too, although I have new respect for her this season.
I agree with Lex, Anon and Susannah about needing an analysis on Sheree and Vicki Gunvalson.
Well 1 out of three so far! I did Vicki today.
Please do NeeNee soon….can’t wait~
I would love to see a diagnosis of Sheree too! And Kim!
By the way I actually got to see Sheree face to face once while they were filming in Atlanta. She is super duper thin. And I’ve never seen so much weave (although it was a good one) 😀
Antisocial personality disorder, as most psychological disorders, has no one cause.
Frequently people with APD were raised by others with APD or other mental disorders in homes where there was inadequate supervision or inappropiate discipline.
Child abuse also has been linked with antisocial behavior. People with ASP are more likely than others to have been abused as children. This is not surprising since many of them grow up with neglectful or sometimes violent antisocial parents.
It has been argued that early abuse (such as vigorously shaking a child) is particularly harmful, because it can result in brain injury. Traumatic events can disrupt normal development of the central nervous system, a process that continues through the adolescent years. By triggering a release of hormones and other brain chemicals, stressful events could alter the pattern of normal development.
There are also arguments for things that may have occurred during fetal development causing abnormal nervous system development. For instance, there is a theory that a mother’s smoking during gestation lowers oxygen supply to the fetus enough to cause a subtle brain damage that can lead to APD.
Yet another theory suggests that people with ASP require greater sensory input for normal brain function. Evidence that antisocials have low resting pulse rates and low skin conductance, and show decreased amplitude on certain brain measures supports this theory. Individuals with chronically low arousal may seek out potentially dangerous or risky situations to raise their arousal to more optimal levels to satisfy their craving for excitement.
Brain imaging studies have also suggested that abnormal brain function is a cause of antisocial behavior. Likewise, the neurotransmitter serotonin has been linked with impulsive and aggressive behavior. Both the temporal lobes and the prefrontal cortex help regulate mood and behavior. It could be that impulsive or poorly controlled behavior stems from a functional abnormality in serotonin levels or in these brain regions.
angelofdevs:
Thank you so much for sharing with all of us your extensive education/knowledge regarding psychology. I really enjoy this site…GREAT SITE! For awhile, I thought Danielle is be bi-polar but, your APD are RIGHT ON TARGET! She displays ALL of the criteria, ALL OF THEM to a VERY high degree. I am VERY fearful for the other cast members. Caroline and Jackie are my favorites. I really LIKE Dina this season also. It was never said what Danielle REALLY tried to do to Dina last season but, I really feel that it was something to really HURT Dina. I also think that it had something to do with Lexi. Which is below the belt in my opinion! Caroline is TOUGH and does NOT cry easily.
I don’t know why the cast members don’t file a Restraining order against her! Danielle is getting WORSE at an alarming rate. Her actions and THREATS are on film also. I would go to the authorities for their PROTECTION.
Please give me your honest opinion, do you feel her conduct is “scripted” by Bravo or, is this the way Danielle REALLY IS? I would like your thoughts on this matter!
Thank you for informing us that New York has laws to ensure that any money Christine makes will ONLY go to her. That, Danielle CAN’T get her hands on Christine’s income that she works soooo HARD for! I think Christine is a BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT girl and Jillian is as cute as a button! Danielle is VERY envious of her modeling opportunity. She is doing what Danielle always wanted to do and I fear she will purposely MESS it up for Christine. Danielle was NEVER a model, the only thing she could get is for Fish and Stream!
I’ve NEVER seen anybody act the way Danielle does and ENJOYS doing it. She really has her own “agenda” for everybody and everything. Bravo, if not scripted, should NOT exploit Danielle. Granted, I NEVER liked her but, Bravo should not encourage her DESTRUCTIVE antics. She will REALLY hurt someone in the cast or have it done on her behalf. I FEAR for the other cast mates safety! Have a great night and again, thank you for a very informative blog!
She writes great analysis doesn’t she? LOVE IT.
I agree Danielle is on a “scary” level. She really reminds me of an evil character in a Disney movie, like the Queen in Snow White, or Ursela in The Little Mermaid. I think she knows she “has” to come out as the victim and plots which will get crazier and crazier so she stays on the show. I like the restraining order idea, and think they should get on it ASAP. I mean if we’ve seen this woman threaten ON tv, imagine what she’s done OFF tv.
Oh, and I heard that the “thing” Danielle did was give information to Lexi’s Dad about her being on the show. Danielle mentioned something about forging his signature, Dina said she never forged his signature (but maybe she never got it?). And Danielle’s kids father would like custody and one of the children wishes to be with him (I’m sure we’ll see her treat one of the kids differently, and that’s probably the one who wants to be with him).
Thanks for all the lovely compliments. I do not think Danielle is scripted but I do wonder if she is not somehow encouraged or riled up. I hope not though.
I think Kim G is one of the women that is not only enabling Danielle, she instigates a lot of her behavior. It is like watching someone play with fire, yet they do not have a very good understanding of the fire, flame, and that they may actually end up being the one that gets burned.
I also have not seen it mentioned in the blog that Danielle often brags about being engaged to 19 different men! That fact alone seems to support the characteristics of your diagnosis. One thing is for certain, Danielle is off. She is so manipulative that itis really scarey to watch at times. She claims to be out of touch with her sexuality b/c of Steve(last season’s boyfriend) yet she is flaunting her body in a bar on a stripper pole and by modeling underwear, while flashing all of America in the process.
I don’t blame Dina for quitting, it is the most sane behavior we have seen on this show. It seems Dina is actually acknowledging that she realizes that Danielle is not only toxic but extremely dangerous.
I believe Danielle is clearly mentally disturbed whether she has Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Disorder or Malignant Narcissm or all of the above.
I believe that the Bravo producers interview these women at length and then suggest scenes to show their personalities and the images they want to convey of the housewives.
I don’t believe reality shows are exactly scripted but the producers do set up parties and events to bring the housewives together to create conflict and drama, which is what keeps viewers tuned in and ratings up. For instance, last season ends with Danielle bringing up her book at a Manzo family dinner that instigates a screaming fight that ends up with Theresa going into a drunken rage and throwing a table.
I suspect Danielle was upset because Dina and Caroline were gossipping about her ex husband’s book concerning her criminal past. I believe Bravo producers suggested she bring the book to the party given by Theresa to clear her name. Danielle loved the idea because this would make her the top dog and she could confront them on what she saw as their bad behavior. Bravo producers knew that everybody would be drinking and there would be a screaming match between Dina and Caroline versus Danielle but Theresa getting involved in the brawl and screaming and throwing a table was a bonus.
Danielle is still upset because the finale of last season showed Caroline Manzo calling her “garbage” and telling her to stay away from her family. She clearly wants to change her image and try to take advantage of Dina saying she wanted to give Danielle another chance and continue her friendship with Jacqueline. Danielle tells the producers she is a Catholic so the producers suggest a scene with Danielle talking to her priest about this so they can flashback to the big brawl and bring up the issue. Danielle tells her priest. This will show viewers she is a religious person, she has changed and she wants only “love and light” for the Manzos. So she goes to a priest and tells him the story and says she wants to pray for them but even the priest doubts her sincerity and can’t understand why she cares what the Manzos think of her and can’t just let it go.
The scene with Danielle giving a party for her daughter is to try to get Dina and Jacqueline to accept her. When they decline her invitation to the party, she leaves two empty chairs so she can announce to the audience that Dina and Danielle dissed her. Whether the producers suggested it or she came up with the idea the party was obviously contrived to show the viewers that Danielle was trying to repair her rift with the Manzos and they were the bad guys. If she was not on a reality show and not trying to convey an image to the viewers, she would have invited her daughter’s friends to her party and not adults she wanted everybody to believe were her friends and on her side.
The scenes with Danielle claiming she had been asked to present a check at a benefit for a baby with cancer that was being held at the Brownstone were either set up by producers to create conflict and drama or Danielle could have came up with the idea to get revenge on the Manzos. She perceived the Manzos led by Caroline would try to stop her so she hires her ex con boyfriend Danny to come up with a protection squad to protect her. As she enters the Brownstone, she says in the camera out of earshot of Caroline Manzo’s son, “my going into your place of business is me saying F to you and your family.” She is clearly getting even with the Manzos and not full of love and light and charity for a baby. She never gave one dime to the baby’s family and disrupted the event by storming around with thugs and camera crews demanding a table. She never presented any check but stormed out when they didn’t give her what she wanted.
Danielle has told the press that she gets paid to be on the show, that the show would be nothing without her and she deserves a spinoff. She knows the Manzo family will not film with her so she is now creating a new image of herself as recording star, Lesbian and manager of her daughters’ careers.
Agree 100%. Notice how D. talked about traveling to Milan and Paris with her daughter. She’s living vicariously thru Christine. What’s she gonna do with little Jillian. Drag her all over the world and away from any stablity she has. Since your post, even more frightening behavior from D. has happened. Her attack at Kim D. in her boutique was unbelieveable! Not to mention the freakout at the fashion show with Kim D. The other Kim is catching on now too. I never could figure out why she hung around D. Jacqueline was right, you can’t tell D. any slightest criticizim. She’s pathological.
you could not be more correct about every one of these people.
As I have mentioned before, Danielle is the only one on all the franchises that is really dangerous.
She would think nothing of setting forth a hit on someone if she
felt like it.
She is more than the narriscistic sociaopath and you correctly chose the correct diagnosis. I’m not a doctor but I am a strong observer of people and there is no doubt that we will be hearing something criminal about this woman.
How damaging is this to her children, escpecially the youngest who will be in the home alone with her after the oldest leaves?
What can be done to help the kids???
What ca
Thanks, angelordevs. How is it possible that Danielle is raising two lovely girls who appear to be quite normal…although I’m sure they will eventually have “issues.” They are sooo darling…and often seem quite sad, even scared…my heart goes out to them.
They seem normal because they are the ones that have to be the adults and aren’t given the luxury of acting like a typical kid. Hopefully they will break away from their mother soon. When they do, they will have to figure out who they really are. That’s when they will have the chance to make their own mistakes and grow as people. Right now it’s all about mama.
I love your psycho-analysis of Danielle! I, too am facinated by all the Real Housewives shows because I love to analyze behaviors in others. And these women are the absolute PERFECT studies!! I’m not as familiar with anti-social personality disorder and it was very interesting reading about it on here. But I do have one question: It seems very simialar to narcissism. Do you know the defining difference? I would be very curious to know that. Thanks!
It is hard to distinguish narcissists from psychopaths. The latter may simply be a less inhibited and less grandiose form of the former. Some scholars have suggested the existence of a hybrid “psychopathic narcissist”, or “narcissistic psychopath”. Indeed, the DSM V Committee is considering to merge these personality disorders.
Still, there are some important nuances setting the two disorders apart. As opposed to most narcissists, psychopaths are either unable or unwilling to control their impulses or to delay gratification. They use their rage to control people and manipulate them into submission.
Psychopaths, like narcissists, lack empathy but many of them are also sadistic. They take pleasure in inflicting pain on their victims or in deceiving them. They even find it funny! Psychopaths are far less able to form interpersonal relationships, even the twisted and tragic relationships that are the staple of the narcissist.
Both the psychopath and the narcissist disregard society, its conventions, social cues and social treaties. But the psychopath carries this disdain to the extreme and is likely to be a scheming, calculated, ruthless, and callous career criminal. Psychopaths are deliberately and gleefully evil while narcissists are absent-mindedly and incidentally evil.
I just watched the fourth episode and Danielle’s behaviour was scary. I was married to a sociopath and I felt like I was watching a female version of him…he also had NPD traits…I cannot wait for you to do the next housewife!
What do you think about the kind of man who would marry this psychopathic stripper and have two children with her? How do you think they remained married as long as they did?
I do wonder about him. If I had to guess, I think she pulled him in the way she pulls in a lot of people, she told her tragic tale of abuse and used it to manipulate his emotions. I imagine eventually her true colors came out and that was the beginning of the end of it. Honestly though I cannot tell you for sure how it all went down without having witnessed them together, maybe he had his own personality issues as well.
please see the above question about the children that I sent in. don’t know if you got it.
I greatly enjoy reading your analysis of the Housewives (and their behavior) that puzzle us the most.
I have nothing to add to the discussion but this: I am a survivor of childhood abuse by more than one person. While I have never used it as an excuse for any bad behavior on my part I have talked about it calmly and openly. It is part of my dealing with it and the fact that one abuser is still involved in my life. I do have an anti-social personality disorder that I have somewhat overcome thanks to a patient, loving partner and the best children a person could hope for.
While I believe very little of what Danielle says (she has proven herself a liar in my opinion) I do not want anyone judged about whether they were abused by how they discuss it.
@Bee – I see where you are coming from. The reason why her presentation was even brought up is because of her history of using her past abuse as an excuse. In APD it is a common ploy to play on the sympathies of others and I feel this is what she is doing by talking about her past.
Wouldn’t you think that her “calmly” talking about her past abuse is past of the CHARISMA and manipulating behavior that pulls men (and some women) into her world?
I think your analysis is spot on. I also think she’s scary, and her fixation with Dina Manzo is really creepy. Dina is clearly afraid of her…I would be too.
I completely agree. I (as a teen myself) would be appauled to have a mother like danielle. And as a resident of NJ, feel ashamed to have people like her live in NJ. I also read the kelly post, and I think that BRAVO needs to take her off the show. Pretty soon, it will look like flat out explotion of people with mental illnesses.
I just wrote a post on my blog about your site: The Personality Disorders of the Real Housewives: http://su.pr/4WZJvA
Awesome blog! I am so very honored you mentioned me. Thanks!
Dina is amazing. She seems very evenhanded and the calm in an oasis of turbulence. The extremely beautiful loving relationship she shares with her daughter is epic and touching.
Notice that the further Dina tries to reel herself in and away from the madness of the other housewives, her sister, Caroline will in the end, find the most fault with her.
Up until now we’ve seen Caroline being protective of Dina, but now that Caroline senses that the public views her madness and lack of control as so adversary; the reminder so close to home, in the form of her sister, no less…will drive Caroline over the brink. Ultimately she will end up blaming Dina for the public mess that she (Caroline) has created simply because she is such a blowhard.
Dina knows that her family courts darkness and insanity because at Caroline’s core, she is a hater.
Dina is a kind, gentle, insightful, thoughtful, evolved human being and this disparity between the two sister’s personalities will be the ultimate hotbed of Caroline’s unraveling… believing that Dina ‘owes her uncompromisingly’ for having taken her under her wing post divorce.
Caroline knows that as the public finds out just how evil she really is, no one will bear the brunt more forcibly (as well as passively executed simultaneously) upon poor Dina.
Dina: please keep believing in whatever truths you conjure and stay strong and keep looking for the good and the light.
Caroline: your exposure on national television will be your personal undoing and all at your very own hands.
I have to disagree with your comments about Caroline and Dina.
As someone who doesn’t sugarcoat her remarks and is also labeled “tough” when I’m sharp-tongued, I empathize with Caroline- she is anything but evil. I think she’s a realist, and while she *could* choose her words in general company, she simply chooses not to. Caroline may appear to thrive from confrontation, but I believe she will engage in order to protect her family, and is totally accustomed to doing so.
On the other hand, Dina is an idealist, and she uses spirituality- Buddhist praying, sage, meditation- as a means of coping. I understand her need for spirituality because I too pay attention to how the energy can feel in a room, or from a person. Unlike Caroline, she won’t engage as much and is nicer to your face. But she’s essentially kind-hearted, even as she can come across as a little haughty.
You also have to remember the age discrepancy between the two. Dina can be all about peace because at the end of the day Caroline has her back. She’s the oldest and Dina’s the youngest and it shows. I’d sleep like a baby if I knew Caroline would fight my battles.
Honestly, it appears that Caroline tries to NOT engage in the drama as much, if not even more than Dina.
Caroline is not the oldest Laurita. She is 6th in line of 10 or 11 and has an older sister named Cookie(?). But, Dina is the youngest girl in their family.
Terrific Fantasy plot line. Wasted on Reality though.
Caroline has some flaws but she isn’t that bad.
One quick modern thought regarding Caroline’s fundraiser for their local Sheriff’s Department: DID SHE NOT THINK IT THROUGH BEFORE IT WAS LITERALLY BROADCAST TO THE WORLD THAT SHE PADS THE POCKETS OF THOSE ELECTED TO EQUALLY SERVE THE GENERAL PUBLIC?
The eyes of the nation are upon you.
I think she was just participating and being active in part of her business and legal community. Why would you call it bribing if it’s hosting a party? Why wouldn’t you want to know your local sherriff in good standing? Heck, I would for networking purposes. Nothing wrong with wanting that.
Carolyn needs to realize that justice is intended for all and not just those who can pay $1000 a plate. By the way, the Sheriff’s Department is not a business, as (Lex, above) suggested, nor was it simply Carolyn hosting a party. This was a $1000 a plate fundraiser for the Sheriff’s Department.
The inference alone speaks volumes.
I agree. You can only bet the Sheriff’s Department is wishing they weren’t drawn into this public ‘fundraiser.’ You want your hosts to be above reproach and decent to the community-at-large. When you’re a public servant, the last thing you want to be drawn into is someone’s beef. Caroline is too vocal in her hating. She needs to chill. Host a fundraiser but don’t dip it in doo-doo.
I completely disagree with you, respectfully….don’t you ever make a donation to the Fraternal Order of Police in your neighborhood? Don’t you ever put a dollar in the “boot” for the Fire Departments annual drive for March of Dimes? How is it bribing, when the funds are donated to the sheriffs DEPARTMENT by all attending a fundraiser and not one particular individual in a sly and decietful manner? I think this might be an example of PC gone overboard and reading a little too much into something…
I think the Manzos host the annual sheriff’s fundraiser in order to counteract claims (founded or not) that the late Albert (“Tiny”) Manzo, Sr. — founder of the Brownstone and partner in a Staten Island casino with “Gambino family soldier” Peter A. Campisi — was involved with the mob. Legitimate news sources (e.g., http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2009/04/27/2009-04-27_real_mob_story_of_new_jersey_wives.html) report that Tiny and Campisi were both killed in mob-like fashion, amid rumors that the two victims had skimmed from the mob casino.
Did anyone else find it ironic that the show highlighted the Manzo’s friendship with “Bernard B. Kerik, the disgraced former New York City police commissioner and former nominee for secretary of homeland security” (source: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/09/nyregion/09bernie.html) , who is now a convicted felon (http://blogs.findlaw.com/courtside/2010/02/bernard-kerik-ex-nypd-top-cop-faces-sentencing-thursday.html)?
Suggesting that Caroline & husband hosting a fundraiser for the Sherriff’s dept means they are covering some illicit activity is ridiculous! To your way of thinking my involvement in a lg (and expensive) fundraiser for the SPCA is only so I can get away with abusing animals! Ridiculous! You have fallen victim to one of Danielle’s “suggestions”. Manipulative & deceitful with a crazed desire to discredit & injure anyone she has perceived to have slighted her Danielle makes thinly veiled accusations hoping something sticks. Her manic reaction to a perceived slight is on full display at the incident at the Posche boutique. She literally & figuratively pulled a U-ie after her initial blow up & threat to never shop there again didn’t bring the result she hoped for. She made yet another phone call to Kim D & decided to try tears instead of hostility. She is very calculating and manipulative & the moments of foul-mouthed, wild eyed, attacks whether delivered with a loud vehement tone or even her telenovella actress delivery of what she thinks a nice person would “look/act” like are the truest displays of her inner workings. How awful that she dragged her youngest daughter into the drama by keeping her on the phone to look important & busy (notice lately how she has been doing that more & more, in her words she “learned that from Paris Hilton, it really pisses people off”) & telling that poor little girl that she was having a “situation” & proceeding to keep her on the phone telling her how she had been “disrespected”!!
Despite Danielle’s attempts in her blog on Bravo to APPEAR remorseful, spiritual, full of good vibes-once again her
actions/own words prove out that this is just another act. I think Danielle IS obsessed with Dina & her “love & light” is an attempt to mirror Dina’s beliefs/ behavior which many find very appealing about her. The difference, of course, is that Dina actually feels empathy/forgiveness/generosity/compassion whereas Danielle uses these phrases to engender sympathy. Watch Danielle closely in any scene or interview & you see a very cunning person who says things & watches closely who she is speaking to for their reaction & if she isn’t getting the response she hoped for will adjust her msg. quickly. The attempt to appear enlightened & above it all in her blog is blown to shreds when she then goes on WWHLive & answers questions with snark & barely controlled venom. Where is the “love & light”?
She is truly pathological & I think Dina had the only response that will work with someone like this, get away from her because she will never stop.
i am deeply concerned for her lovely daughters. they both will be highly sought after as they fit the criteria for models it’s a slam dunk for christine and i think the little one will follow. Now they get the narcisistic mom to follow them around, watching, guiding, leaching and alienating everyone around them. it’s going to be a catastrophy if they girls can’t brush her off and keep her at bey….i feel truly sorry for them, deeply sorry. the problems are just beginning as she’s found new targets in her own children and she can’t help herself.
As a practicing therapist, I have to say that I disagree with the analysis of Danielle having Antisocial Personality Disorder. People with APD don’t care if others don’t like them and don’t care about being the center of attention. To people with APD, people are objects to be used for material reasons, not emotional ones. It’s very clear that Danielle wants these people to like her, so she doesn’t fit the APD mold.
If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that she has Malignant Narcissist Personality Disorder (ala Jill Zarin).
I think the analyses of Ms. Zarin and and Ms. Bennison have been spot on.
Great blog! 🙂 I look forward to reading more analyses in the future!
that makes sense… people with APD aren’t looking for approval or to be liked by others. but it is obvious that danielle is looking to fit in and be liked.
totally tangent, but with the kelly analysis – what line do cable networks draw when it comes to eccentric personalities for entertainment, vs. exploiting someone with a mental illness for entertainment? last week’s episode was pretty disturbing. and from bethanney’s blog on bravo’s website, it sounds like what they aired was just a TINY bit of what actually went on, and the ladies don’t like to speak of it to this day. i’m now kind of scared to watch.
I totally agree. Great point! I read a post elsewhere from a psychologist who believes Danielle suffers from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). She was responding about the the fashion show debacle and said that she did believe that Danielle (in her own mind) was not acting during much of that (as over reaction is a symptom of PTSD, a severe form of anxiety disorder).
I suffer from PTSD myself and believe me, this is very true. Being an anxiety disorder, at times, a pin dropping can cause an over reaction (that others, especially others who are cruel with little empathy like these women on this show will perceive as “acting” and faking).
I think you and the psychologist commenter I read elsewhere are probably dead on about Danielle.
I suspect she suffers from some form of NPD and PTSD (and this is from a hellish childhood that she may manipulative change the details of but that still like was a a severely traumatic childhood never the less, the usual causes of various disorders).
Are you sure she wants these people to like her?
I am not convinced she does! I think her “desire” to have friendships with these other women is simply a device…just a topical devise to entertain herself. She casts off friends or potential friends at the SLIGHTEST of whims. All she wants is a “team” used to intimidate and to bully.
I was wondering if you would comment further on MNPD “ala Jill Zarin”? Im not familiar with MNPD … but I have a hard time finding a possible comparison between Jill Z and Danielle. (To be honest, before very recently I have not seen any RH show so I dont really have a vast well to draw insight upon…but I am interested in your opinion 🙂
I agree. Danielle wants to be liked and shes care about what others think about her. One of the main motivators for her need to be accepted is her daughters. She has turned her life around and she is determined that they will have opportunities and choices that will lead them far away from the life she had and from the things she feels she had to do to survive and succeed.
I see in Danielle my best friend’s mother. My other friends’ mothers s and my mom were the “goodie two shoes Church-goers” and her mom lived with a man she was not married to and was the fashion icon of our town. She had four children – all four graduated from college and three have advanced degrees and the fourth is a highly respected businessman. They were never embarrassed by their mom and the gossip about her mom and men she dated that were their ages. There were no hypocrites or judgmental people in their home. That’s why I loved being there as much as I could.
Like Danielle my best friend’s mom had a friendship with them and still today they are more like friends that mother and children. Everything is discussed in their home and everyone is supported. None of my friends have as close a relationship with their mom as my best friend. Neither do I.
Tiffany- you are correct in that Caroline’s fundraiser was not a business endeavor, but I never said it was. I stated that Caroline was active in her legal and business communities, two sects that are affluent (and socially desired) enough to participate in occasions such as a fundraising dinner.
And, to allude that Caroline Manzo is somehow denying any economic lower working classes justice because she hosted a $1000-a-plate party for the Sheriff’s department is ridiculous. Yes, she’s part of a more affluent business class, and while she and her family are deemed socially respectable enough to host the occasion, believing that she is “denying justice for all” is a pretty wide tar brush to paint her with.
(Sorry to be off-topic since this is about Caroline and not Danielle, but I wanted to clarify my remarks!)
You keep contradicting yourself. Plus you keep putting words into many of the other assorted contributor’s posts. Your thought processes are not clear. Think before you post. The post never said anything about denying justice for all. Post never said anything about denying lower economic classes justice. Are you high? And you did allude to business, go back and read your own posts.
And then maybe get some fresh air. Why can’t you simply let the posters contribute without your following up with acidic statements that you’re trying to pass off as clarifications when it is you, yourself that can’t seem to think clearly. And your attempt to clarify your remarks only paints you further into a corner with your very own “wide tar brush.” Good grief! Really?
Your post is pompous. Your comments about what you consider socially desirable speaks loud and clear. Like the half-witted dame sings, “Money can’t buy you class.”
I replied to this part of the post: “Carolyn needs to realize that justice is intended for all and not just those who can pay $1000 a plate.” In hosting a dinner, Caroline is not repudiating justice to anyone who isn’t paying that amount of money. She’s simply lending her name and home to an event in support of a local official. I think to imply that she thinks justice *isn’t* for all is using a wide tar brush and to believe she’s a bigger snob than she actually may be.
And while it isn’t necessarily a business function for Caroline personally or the Brownstone per se, it is one that brings together affluent businesspeople from that section of life. I grew up in an affluent town, so I knew local women who hosted local sheriffs and such on a regular basis.
Pompous? Wow, that’s a dig on me. I never personally insulted any other poster. I am contributing to a debate, and I may be disagreeing with what it means for Caroline to host a party, but I don’t believe I’m going out of my way to label anyone personally. If you interpret that, that’s your problem. And if you want to project that I’m pompous, that’s an extra piece of baggage on your carousel, not mine. I don’t think I’m full of hot air, just a separate opinion. But, I’m not here to please you, just to contribute my own opinion as a fan of Caroline’s.
I’m aware that money does not personally buy me class, but it opens a hell of a lot of doors for useful networking.
Let’s not forget Carolyn constantly screaming —WE’RE THICK AS THIEVES!
Yeppers, I’m really sure the Sherriffs Depart. loves having a fund-raiser hosted by someone who so openly spouts something reeking of wanna-be-fake-mob-boss mentality. Caroline is a LOSER! Danielle is a LOSER! That’s why they both hate on each other so much, because they both have each other’s number!
“Thick as theives” is just a plain old-fashioned expression for people who are extremely close and watch out for one another. PERIOD. I really wish people would stop taking her using that expression so literally because it’s just silly and is grasping at straws.
Yeah, they are from NJ, what do you expect? Caroline loves the thug image.
I have never heard anyone say about their family that they are “thick as thieves.” I’ve said and I’ve heard others say “Blood is thicker than water.”
Personally it is the way Caroline says it. In my opinion she wants to make sure that everyone knows “by any means necessary” legal or illegal she and her family will support one another. The fact that she knows most people suspect and many people are convinced of her family ties – this remark is a wink- wink, we could be or we couldn’t be affliated – but you can’t prove it. She wants to appear to be Ms. Superbad if I have to be. Just my opinion.
THICK AS THIEVES:
Intimate, closely allied. This term uses thick in the sense of “intimate,” a usage that is obsolete except in this simile. [Early 1800s] (American Heritage)
I believe this….and am Very Disappointed that Danielle got between the sisters & sisters-in-law for a while. She’s dangerous, conniving, and ITCHING For A Fight…from anyone. The sooner she’s off the show, the better.
The best way to judge a person is to see how they interact with their children. Caroline is an amazing loving mother & I think that bodes well for her true personality. I think she is great! Would love to have her as a mom or friend! Danielle on the other hand never asks her kids about themselves & is always running her mouth with HORRIBLY innapropriate stories about herself-SO self absorbed!!! Hate her!!!
So many words and so much chatter to identify what we all know is true Daniells is just plain, old EVIL. Any doubts? Read a bit of m. Scott Peck and People of the Lie, perhaps then you will see her for what she truly is.
I don’t agree with you at all. Also, I feel a bit of narcissism (arrogance and haughtiness) in the way you worded this, as if, others on this baord only read what you have read, then they too would know, what you know (which is so much more than the rest of here I guess?).
And what is that you know so much more of us for having read Peck? To simply and righteiously label another human being (who is being singled out like by a lynch mob of followers on TV and online), as being “evil”?
Well, I’ve read my share of Peck, Sheehy, Payson, etc…over decades, and I don’t “know” that Danielle is “evil” at all. I think she has mental health issues (as they all do on these and especially, this show).
Actually, though not emotionally healthy, I think Danielle is far less cruel than the others who (are very emotionally unhealthy too) because they have formed a mob of bullies to gang up together as many against one person and repeatedly attack.
Caroline is the lead bully who started it all and the others (on the show and online) I think, are all just her bully followers who rationalize (like Caroline & co) they’re own cruel behavior towards another human being (who actually at the start did nothing to Caroline and nothing to people online).
Scarey stuff.
I never post on websites, but I have to say, I too watch these shows, and despite their sugary drama-filled chaos, try to analyze what they mean about US culture, women and our role in society, and what they tell about these women themselves. It is nice to read someone who is not just bashing these women, but looking that objectively (and at Bravo objectively, who I do believe eggs them on or puts them in situations more likely to cause conflict) and trying to find out what is wrong with them. Mental illness is often a hidden affliction, and I think your descriptions and “diagnosis” of Kelly, Jill and Danielle are spot on. It seems to me that they will never get the help they need. Being on the show finds them many supporters who justify their behavior and enable them. In the case of Danielle and Kelly, it seems like they have no real adult connections. Kelly flits from party to party, but who are her true friends. Does she have family that might elucidate more information about her past and current issues? Danielle is obviously alone. Interesting to also consider Heidi Montag. These women are experiencing real problems and being on television seems to aggravate their disorders, so much so that they are dangerous to themselves and others. Who has responsibility?
Is mental illness being exploited by reality television? How are we, as viewers, complicit?
I wonder the same things. I find blogging about the Real Housewives helps me understand them at least. I do wonder however if I am part of the problem by watching at all. I feel all of the women have some problems but so far I have been blogging about the ladies with the clearly serious mental issues. Bravo is not doing any of the people involved any favors and it makes me sad to be honest.
Is mental illness being exploited by reality television? How are we, as viewers, complicit?
What you wrote here ^… This is truly the question we should be asking ourselves! You are so right.
Have you ever seen the film “Network”? If not, see it.
It tackles these questions and foresees (it was made in the 70’s) television as becoming “entertaiment” more akin to “throwing the Christians to the lions” of old. “Everything old is new again”…including this part of human nature that my mother called “appealing to the lowest common denominator of numan nature”, which is what these shows do, let’s face it (including for us too).
The film “Network” won a slew of oscars including best pic and screenplay (writen by the incredible Paddy Cheyefsky) and if foresaw the advent of “realty TV” and where it would ultimately take us all, and it wasn’t good.
Yes, we are preying upon the mentally ill for our amusement and it is sickening.
I feel sorry for her children. Can you do Kate Gosselin, pls?
I can definitely do Kate Gosselin but be warned I have a lot of venom for that particular woman. Tough to be objective. She is definitely OCPD but I am thinking she has at least one other disorder along with it.
I’m looking forward to that one. And, angelofdevs, thanks for doing these. They are so interesting. I’d love to see you on Watch What Happens!
What I don’t understand is how ANYONE can stand behind her while she brings her ‘wanna be’ tough guy & members of the Hells Angels to a child’s benefit?
I also can’t see how in the hell Bravo allows her to be on the show… it’s beyond me!
The benefit was for people who owned and worked in a diner. Those people that you are describing probably eat at that diner regularly and would want to contribute to a fundraiser for a sick child associated with the diner.
I can’t believe the reaction over that Hells Angel jacket. My mom’s friend’s son is a member of a motorcycle club and they are always doing positive things in the community to show people that they don’t fit the evil biker stereotype. They also let people know who they are because they want to prove wrong the stereotypes against them and show that they are members of the community.
I don’t have to wonder why Bravo didn’t show the people saying that they didn’t want them there? I’m sure the diner owner would never say that publicly. They earn their money from regular folks and bikers at the diner and then they get to the Brownstone and they are embarrassed that the people who support their business came.
I was offended by the treatment of those people and I don’t believe that they came to charity event to freeload off of benefit for a sick child. For the meager means that the poor have, they give more of what they have to charity than the porportion that the wealthy do.
Everyone knows the members of the Hells Angels club do positive things in the community. What I objected to was Danielle taking a bunch of people who the Brownstone had no idea was coming thus having not made room for them. THEN she proceeded to stomp around acting like She had been dissed. SOME one should have called the bouncers….baring not having them, then the Police. How Extremely crass & having-no-social-skills of her. I was embarrassed for the parents of the sick child and wasn’t even there.
LOOK HONEY
I WENT TO COLLEGE AS WELL. I HAVE A PSYCHE DEGREE AND I DON’T COUNSEL EITHER. YET, I WOULD NEVER TRY AND DIAGNOSE SOMEONE I HAVE NEVER MET. YOUR SITE, AND YOU MAKE MONEY OFF OF DEGRADING DANIELLE AND OTHERS.
I THINK YOU HAVE A PERSONALITY DISORDER. I THINK IT’S CALLED :SH*T TALKING DUMB*SSES” DISORDER. YOU ARE IGNORANT, JUDGMENTAL, SHAMING AND ABUSIVE TO WOMEN. DO YOU SEE DANIELLE BLOGGING ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BORING LIFE? IT ISN’T THAT I SIDE WITH DANIELLE, IT IS JUST THAT MY BRAIN, UNLIKE YOURS IS PROGRESSED.
YOU, LIKE MOST WOMEN, ABUSE AND DEGRADE YOUR VERY OWN GENDER. YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE DUMB AS DIRT. THE MERE FACT THAT YOU SEE HER WITH NO CONSCIENCE IS ABSURD. I DON’T LIKE SOME OF HER CHOICES. BUT I DON’T LIKE ANY OF RHONJ CHOICES. AND IF ANYTHING, I FROWN UPON WOMEN BEATING OTHER WOMEN DOWN, IT IS DISTURBING. PEOPLE SHAMING OTHERS IS SICK. SO, ARE YOU SICK? YOU COULD BE WRITING ABOUT ABUSED CHILDREN ND HELPING THEM, OR A SITE FOR SICK CHILDREN. BUT, NO, YOUR SELFISH, ARROGANT, NARCISSTIC SELF CHOSE TO SH*T TALK OTHER WOMEN LIKE A 12 YR OLD.
GROW UP, REFRAME YOUR MIND. YOU ARE AN ABUSER AND IF YOU DON;T LIKE WHAT I AM SAYING ABOUT YOU, THEN SHUT THE FCK UP ABOUT OTHER WOMEN.
YO WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT A SOCIOPATH WAS IF HE WAS LYING ON TOP OF YOU.
DUMB AS DIRT, YOU ARE HONEY.
AND IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD, YOU REALLY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
SHAMING OTHER WOMEN IS A SIN.
NOW THAT I RIPPED YOU APART, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?
YOU ARE A WEAK, JEALOUS, SCARED WOMEN.
COWARD.
GO BACK TO COLLEGE, YOU APPEAR VERY IGNORANT.
I have not attacked anyone, nor do I make any money off this site whatsoever. I have merely highlighted behaviors demonstrated in public forums by these people in an attempt to understand what makes them tick psychologically.
I am not an abuser myself thanks. My observations are not harmful to anyone nor are they mysogynistic in any way. I also may not have a license to practice psychology but I can sure tell that you have a lot of rage issues. I am not quite sure where your anger is coming from but I can tell you it does not seem to be a very healthy display here.
You are more than welcome to rip me apart. I think the manner in which you have done so says a lot more about you than it does me. I am not proclaiming myself as all knowing nor is my personal intent hostile in any way towards anyone. If you would read the disclaimer, these are meant as entertainment and as a way for people to better understand these women, not to shame them.
Psychological disorders are nothing to be ashamed of. I feel badly for people who have mental issues. I also empathize with everyone who is in their lives dealing with it alongside them. I hope someday you find the help you need as well. I mean that sincerely, living with that kind of pent up anger has to be very tough on you.
I don’t think God would want me to be ashamed in the least for what it’s worth to you.
Oh and psych shortened as in psychology degree does not contain an e. The word psyche refers to the concept of the self, encompassing the modern ideas of soul, self, and mind. Just a tip.
Wow, to this person, it’s *personal*. Begs the question of who they really are?
Angelordevs, no need to defend yourself…one post by this so-called “Angel” and we all know she is bat shit crazy. Responding to her will just up the ante for her…if she is ignored, she may take her crazy elsewhere….one can only hope.
It’s interesting to see how a couple of posters jumped in here to play “side” as in a “fight”, very much mirroring the behavior on RHONJ. Life here on this board imitating, well, not art, lol, and probably not even totally real “reality” TV either, but is interesting that this thread here is reflective of the show itself.
Personally, I don’t agree with angelofdevs that Danielle is an antisocial (or sociopath) because I believe that Danielle seriously desires approval of others and society (and antisocials do not).
But, it’s ok to disagree.
However, Angel, while making some valid points, disagreed with a great deal of misplaced, angry emotion aimed at Angelofdevs.
Then, others chimed in here to back Angelofdevs and attack Angel (like Teresa and Jacqueline now back the fight originally started by Caroline and Dina, and it became many ganging up on one, and Danielle never even started a fight in the beginning).
Bottom line, lets agree to disagree and not attack others (including attacking others to back others up) as in some kind of catty, dog fighting, lynch mob either.
Let’s all calm down and have an adult discussion here and not make each other feel bad.
It’s ok to feel angry and upset, but it’s not ok to project it at others, especially when they did nothing to you personally.
Danielle?
WOW!
Funny…of all the posted replies, no one shares your opinion. Sounds like the author of this site and those who relate to what she is saying hit a nerve “HONEY”. Me thinks your reply is very revealing and evidence that you have some serious issues and pent up aggression. Please get help. You are one angry BIOTCH.
Just saying…:)
Wow, you have some major- and unnecessary and inappropriate- aggression and accusation going on. You write as though you are the one personally scalded by her words about Danielle, and it’s funny that you- and you alone- would do so.
Clearly, the person who writes her diagnostic opinions here does so without the motive to profit off anyone’s mental illness… including yours.
Lex, you always seem…in your own words…” personally scalded” whenever anyone writes anything negative about that fat housewife, Caroline. You’re so far up Caroline’s behind, it’s not even funny. Talk about calling the kettle black. What you’re accusing the contributor of… you yourself become incensed whenever anyone posts anything remotely negative about Caroline. So much for blogs being a forum for people to post without censoring. Someone like Lex, is always right there to “Hoover” up the dirty spillage written about Caroline.
By the way, did you see the hilarious spoof tonight? Regis Philbin spoofing fat ol’ ugly red-haired Caroline?
Yes, the self-described “THICK AS THIEVES” Caroline.
Her words, Lex, not a blogger’s. Oooh Honey Lex, whatcha gonna do about dat????????????????
Lex, earlier in your comments you wrote, ” I never personally insulted any other poster.” You are outted for the LIAR that you are. Read your own mean-spirited insulting words attributed to someone leaving a comment. You’re busted! Just WOW!
From Lex’s own hateful blog where she writes, “Goddamn People”
“Fuck People” “Fuck Everyone” to this lovely drug-addled post:
Yes, in her own words:
“And this ex in particular is someone I appreciate because in my struggles with addiction, he helped me discover Cocaine Anonymous, and accompanied me to my first meeting. As he struggled with marijuana addiction and was in M.A., it was a time where I felt like he was capable of caring about me past sex.”
Hope you lose all your fatty weight too because you sure seem obsessed over it.
More from your own written words, Lex— your VERY PUBLIC blog:
You write: “a time I was drinking rather heavily, and was hungover half the time..”
Really?
And your posts about your excessive weight? Your boyfriend
who could NOT love you? Your cocaine addiction? Your bouts of insanity?
Really?
Just click on Lex’s name (it’s a direct link!) …go straight to the tell-all-blog.
Thanks Lex. You have such a need for the world-at-large to know you so intimately.
Wow “Miss Mysterious Poster”, clearly, you were personally scalded enough by my words to lambast me with a 4-message personal attack, which I will address:
As “Miss Mysterious Poster” writes, I do indeed have a blog called “Lex Gets Physical.” I wrote about weight gain, food, exercise, and other related issues in the spirit of addressing my own body issues. I specifically wrote about a period of cocaine addiction in the spirit of furthering my successful recovery along, as well as to provide anyone else struggling with the same issue an opportunity to see that it’s possible to succeed in stopping.
So thank you, oh hateful “anonymous” poster, for calling some attention to me, because I’m glad for someone to come across my blog and know that cocaine addiction is possible to recover from. You can call me fat or unsuccessful in my relationships, but I am a sober person that remains sober and committed. (Unlike Danielle, my cocaine use never got to the point of holding anyone for ransom.)
I have defended Caroline Manzo because I like the lady. No more, no less.
**Angelofdevs, please accept my apology for this poster’s ridiculous rants about me disrupting the vibe of your otherwise fun site and astute writings.
No apologies on your end needed Lex. Congratulations on sobriety. I personally am inspired by your journey and I respect your honesty. I hope the attention garnered here helps others to find your story and to be inspired by your courage. I never understand being so wrapped up in defending a particular housewife that one becomes hostile towards other who disagree.
Angelofdevs- thank you for acknowledging this particular round of comments. I appreciate knowing that I owe no apology from you; I don’t think your blog is an appropriate place to personally lambast someone, but neither you nor I can control some of these suspect, “anonymous” posters. (I likewise appreciate you noticing that I have copped criticism for being a fan of Caroline Manzo’s, and I don’t understand the hostility either.)
As for me, I’m glad to say that, after being a cocaine user for two years, I have been sober for a year and a half. While I am not proud of becoming a drug addict, I am proud to report that I succeeded at recovering.
I believe, from the bottom of my heat, that recovery became a successful endeavor when it became something I was willing to live, breathe, and embrace wholly. That included facing my demons, putting aside false dependencies and concepts of self, and discovering why I made my choices without blaming anyone else. Though there are people out there who are more than willing to scandalize me for the sheer fact that I ever used a drug in the first place, I can’t change the fact that they exist to shame others because they are afraid or hurt. Instead, I choose to remain sober, and let my story start- and end- with me.
Should anyone be in need of understanding how recovery works, the following link is from my own cautionary perspective, and also leads to an article I wrote commemorating my sobriety when I reached a year. I hope that anyone who needs help reads it, for I am glad to let the entry stand for people who can use that particular boost:
Thanks for being gracious enough to allow me the chance to acknowledge the mudslinging from “Miss Mystery Poster”. Keep up your terrific work!
OMG! It is SO Danielle herself posting the rip-tirade! The give-away besides the sentence fragments and run-ons in written form which mirror her broken speech is in her THIRD SENTENCE FROM THE LAST! OMG!
I can’t believe I caught this: She writes: “You are a weak, jealous, scared women.” She uses the plural form (‘WOMEN’) of woman although she clearly means the singular use “woman.” On the show, Danielle always mixes this up as well; she ALWAYS uses the plural form ‘WOMEN’ when she should use “WOMAN.”
How dumb can this broad be that she doesn’t know how to use the differing forms of singular and plural uses for the word “woman”! How do you get to be Danielle’s age and clearly not know the difference between “woman” and “women.” HA HA HA–OMG, IT REALLY IS DANIELLE!
DANIELLE, GO AWAY SKAG! LEAVE THE BLOG WRITER ALONE AND GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE.
OMG. Totally obvious. I don’t know of one person other than Danielle who consistently uses the improper singular (woman) for where the plural (women) should be. She even had this pointed out to her on Watch What Happens Live and of course, she poo-pooed it.
Dead give away and astute detective work of your part. BRAVO.
Hey, “Angel” you don’t have to read this blog, do you? If you don’t agree with it, move along!! You are screaming in all caps to a grown person. You have no right to preach to anyone here especially the blogger that created this site! This is America, as you well know, and since it is a free country she can post any type of content she wishes. If you are so offended then keep away. This blog is really informative to those of us who are interested in learning about human behavior. Unlike the name you have given yourself, your preaching and scolding is unlike an angels’ behavior. Our blogger is not a coward. Just because you don’t agree with her. Don’t also assume she believes in God. Another freedom she has. Seems to me that you might have a some type of disorder yourself otherwise you wouldn’t appear to be so offended.
Hope you feel better about yourself now that you have preached to someone you don’t know yourself. If you have gotten it out of your system you don’t have to read her blog anymore.
Angelofdevs, keep on keeping on. Please don’t let this wacko disuade you from posting your educated opinion. Angel didn’t sound educated with any degree within the mental health field. That might be obvious to you since it was written in all caps. I enjoy your insight and understand your disclaimer that it is to be taken as entertainment. Which it is. Please stay around.
No worries. I will keep blogging because I find it entertaining. I am glad so many people seem to enjoy what I have written too. I love all the feedback, even negative, it definitely adds to the blog.
I’m not Danielle or the person who used all caps, but it is dangerous to believe that anyone can learn human behavior from reality TV that is contrived entertainment. I remember years ago when Charo was on the Merv Griffith show (dating myself) and she said she knew there were a lot of critics who said she was a stupid sex figure and demeaning to women and all she had to say to them “Cha Cha Cha right to the bank.”
Bravo and these willing women participants create situations to produce images of themselves and drama to be entertaining. How are we no different that the Romans watching the poor citizens in the arenas being fed to the ferrocous lions or the gladiators fighting to the death? I guess no one has died as a result of this franchise unlike the Jenny Jones Show when a guy felt shamed nationally by a homosexual and later killed him.
I had no intention for this posting to go so dark but as I type this reply I realize that maybe this isn’t a site that I should read or participate in with commentary.
Ashley is being toward that Danielle is the reason she attacked her to stand up for her family. She now has a police record because she knew her actions would get her attention and support from blogs who like her hate. Everyone seems to be directing the hate towards Danielle without seeing that these other housewives are hateful people and they must take responsibility for their hate, not Danielle.
Good-bye to this site.
Wow…Angel…you have some serious issues.
Angel,
Take some prozac because you need it. I pray that you were fibbing when you stated that you had a degree and have not counseled YET. Do all of humanity a favor and don’t ever counsel a living soul puh leeze. You have issues you have not resolved yourself and need serious therapy for the pent up rage you clearly displayed. This blog gives insight into behavior personality disorder issues it is not the holy grail nor does it intend to be. The author clearly states that. Individuals who can’t take criticism or are easily offended need not partake it’s that simple. So get over yourself DRAMA QUEEN.
You need help.
Losers love to throw the word “ignorant” around.
JUST CAUSE YOU TYPE IN CAPS DOESN’T MAKE YOU RIGHT!! Geez, I have a degree in psych myself, and 900 hours of counseling, the Angelofdev is correct in her diagnosis, and clearly gives a disclaimer.
Having said this, we are discussing these peoples personalities, almost as much as wondering what makes society up as a whole, it’s confusing. If these are the personalities on teevee, what does that say for society? It seems if you are a lunatic, you get to be on a show these days.
The only one that’s not diagnosed here FOR FUN or UNDERSTANDING, is Alex, don’t see her here yet. Anyway, get a grip, quit yelling or GO AWAY!
Are you serious… one question :
What in the heck is wrong with you?
You are entitled to your opinion, most certainly – But how can you be so obviously blind to your hypocritical junk? Talk about intimidating your fellow female and you write your entire letter in all caps (really – can you think of anything more stereotypically juvenile)!? Reading this made me laugh out loud – as I am sure many others did. Your face should be red; you just made an ass of yourself.
Oh, and since you seem intent on bringing up the issue of intelligence… I just have to say that I do not believe you went to college, or a high school for that matter.
Thank you for your comment. I have just found my way to this site and now I know why so many people’s diagnosis of Danielle is sociopath.
It is harmful to make medical assessments of women based on a reality TV show which by definition is not reality. The presence of cameras in themselves alters reality.
you are crazy
Wow…all that craziness and a college degree, too. You are one very sick chic.
I can’t believe the HA would involve themselves in Danielle’s self created drama. If any club members read this “PAALEASE”… Pay attention guys. You need to watch the last episode and consider carefully the Manzo’s role in the event. They were not the hosts of the charity fundraiser. They were hired to do a job and accommodate the guests invited to attend the event. Danielle did not need anyone to “have her back”. There was no threat to her and the Manzo’s would never be so stupid as to tarnish the image of the business that is the bread and butter that provides for the lifestyle all of them are accustomed to by creating a scene at their restaurant or a charity event for a sick child. That is not how they “ROLL”.
Danielle is delusional and obsessed. Her drama is all self imposed and she has an inflated concept of self importance. This latest display is proof Danielle is desperate to prove she is someone with power and influence and she used the HA and her “friends” to try and make that point. What she really exposed was her lack of judgement and ignorance. She exploited men with a propensity toward violence in handling situations in which they feel they’ve been disrespected by bringing them into a scenario she herself was responsible for. You don’t show up at any event -any event- with an entourage of that size without making sure there are available accommodations. I mean come on, imagine of every invited attendee decided to show up with 15 or 20 people without relaying the number of guests they were bringing? The restaurant would not have legally been able to admit everyone due to fire department regulations alone, never mind the other issues such as being sure there are enough servers on duty or even enough food to provide for the guests. The HA has thrown enough parties to understand what I am talking about here and what goes into planning an event of any kind. Someone showing up with that many unannounced guests to an invite only event without first notifying the host is ridiculous. She put the men in an embarrassing position and then fueled their tempers by acting like they were intentionally being shunned when they didn’t have a table or available seating for her group. If only the Bentley had arrived earlier, then I wonder how things would have played out. Everyone would probably be wondering why the HA was there and the parents of the sick child would have been anticipating a donation to their cause, after all, that was what this was supposed to be all about.
Now if any HA are reading this…you need to evaluate carefully the causes you rally to support and I suggest Danielle not be one of them. Think with the head on your shoulders not in your pants on this one because Danielle definitely uses her looks to manipulate men and some men are just too easily sucked in by women like her to realize what the hell they are getting into until it’s too late. She deserves an ass beating for the stunt she pulled on your guys and for embarrassing HA on national TV.
You reap what you sow Danielle. Karma is for real. I feel for your daughters.
Oh yeah, one more thing…What are you thinking Mrs. G??? Surely a woman in your position does not need friends like Danielle… it is clear from the episode where Danielle was supposed to be celebrating her daughter’s cover shot and spread in that magazine with her close friends that you and she didn’t know each other that well. She thought you were Caroline’s good friend until you told her otherwise. How did you end up as one of her guests there and why would you choose to support such a train wreck??
I think Mrs. G loves the drama as much as Danielle. At the Emmanuella cancer benefit at the Brownstone she clearly heard Chris say that they were in for a surprise BECAUSE THEY WERE OVERDRESSED. but when she relayed the message to Danielle she “casually” left out that part and led Danielle to believe the “surprise” was Danielle not having a table for her wacky entourage. Now dont get me wrong, Danielle is pretty much as nutty as they come, but why fuel it? She comes to enough crazy, insane, unfounded conclusions on her own without Mrs. G adding to the mix. She had plenty of oppertunities to correct her “omission” if indeed it was a mistake but she didn’t which tells me she did it on purpose to start more drama. Caroline was right to stay acquaintances with her. Say what you want about Caroline but I think she is a pretty good judge of character. You know what they say ” you are the company that you keep”, just look at Danielle and Kim G… crazy is as crazy does =)
Great post! Hells Angels should DEF not associte with this madwoman!!! She made them look horrible at a sick childs fundraiser! Shame on you Danielle!!! You are a terrible human being!
I didn’t see any HA contributing to the disturbance. It was Danielle and Danny. Danny was acting and for all we know the men he brought were dressed “extras”.
As a psychiatrist, I disagree with your assessment… but I should preface this by saying that we probably shouldn’t be diagnosing people based on “reality” television shows. 😉 I feel Danielle Staub is much more in line with a Borderline Personality Disorder with Antisocial Traits. Do some reading on it and see what you think.
I completely agree with u! Thats what I thought. Why are these women not accepting that Danielle has a mental disorder? They keep bullying her and its so hard to watch.
Danielle is not being bullied. People are reacting to her behavior with suspicion and anger.
I totally agree with this assessment. She has a touch of narcissistic personality disorder as well.
I love your blog! Thank you! Plus, now I feel redeemed after having the guilty pleasure of watching the HW shows as I am learning something.
I’m not a psychologist but I have done some reading and I am inclined to agree with a previous post that Danielle’s seeking approval and acceptance would make her more of a narcissist (perhaps malignant?). But co-morbidity is possible too and your APD diagnosis is spot-on except for the need for approval.
I disagree with the Borderline diagnosis, even with antisocial traits. Danielle is too focused to be a borderline, imho.
Do you have the MCMI? I wonder how answering for these women would work — although I know that’s not the way to do it.
As to Kelly: the Paranoid fits to a tee. I too think she is self-medicating (meth?). Also, since she lacks an understanding of adages, being literal, and seems to avoid closeness, I would venture that her social skills and empathy are very low.
I’m going to be looking at your blog a lot. Kudos. Or kadooz.
Hello,
I would def check out Borderline personality it fits Danielle perfectly!!! ! ” You either love me or hate me there is no inbetween with me”-Danielle …..sooo BPD! Everything fits … plus her being a narcissist on top of that! I believe mental disorders can co-exist with others as well……….
There are high functioning borderlines. Some even get college degrees and hold good jobs. You must keep in mind, the field of personality disorders is not clear-cut. They all share similar traits that make a diagnosis difficult for even the most experienced practitioners, as I’m sure Anna the psychiatrist can tell you. That is why you’ll often hear a diagnosis of “XX personality disorder with traits of XX.” And some disorders are subclinical, meaning a person has issues and problems in life but they don’t meet diagnostic criteria for a particular PD.
Borderline PD remains one of the most misunderstood diagnoses in the whole field of mental health. Some Borderlines are so classic that you can’t help but know they are Borderline. These are often the ones who are so impaired by their disorders that they can’t focus enough to finish a degree, get a steady job or do anything but cause drama and hurt themselves and others. That is most likely the sort of Borderline you are thinking of. I know a woman with Borderline PD who is currently working on her second master’s degree. She’s crazy and messes up people’s lives but damn if she isn’t one smart lady.
As for Danielle and any other Real Housewife, I think it’s good for viewers to realize that their behavior can be abnormal, destructive and dangerous. I think it’s equally dangerous for anyone to believe that what we see is reality. Plenty of people have stated above that the shows are edited to portray drama and the “actresses” are scripted and know how to get screen time with extreme behavior.
And someone else asked if viewers are reinforcing the exploitation of people with mental illnesses by watching these shows. That’s a good question but it’s impossible to say whether any of these women really have a mental disorder. One thing is certain, though: When the public watches this stuff and clamors for more, they get it. And it’s increasingly crazy stuff. Too many people think it is real life being portrayed and this misconception leads to them thinking that such extreme, damaging behavior is actually rewarded. Essentially, these shows are teaching viewers that it’s okay to act this way because, in the end, you will achieve high status and financial success.
So, in my opinion, the viewing of these shows isn’t exploiting mental illness. It is creating real mental illness in society.
PS,
Will you do Simon van Kempen?
HI, I really enjoy your blog. I was wondering if you like to do a quick analysis of someone I know. I have a hard time figuring him out. I’m wondering if it’s a personality disorder. Write if if you’d like a pen pal. (I think you get the email access from this post) Take care.
She doesn’t remember or know what’s truthful.
She has so many blocked memories due to being a mind controlled sex slave. Mk-Ultra like programs happened all over Miami in the 80s. I’m still trying to put the pieces back together of my past down there. I was used in a drug cartel ring. The traumatization caused my mind to fragment, and I developed alter-egos, some of which were programmed apparently. I believe Danielle is in the same footsteps of me.
I am a therapist. I pegged her for borderline personality disorder, like in Fatal Attraction. Check it out and tell me what you think!
That is interesting, she seems to fit both pretty well. Hmmmm.
They don’t call them “Crazy Makers” for nothing!
.She seems to be able to escalate others and like lots of references to violence and stalking behavior. I think that can make her dangerous to others. I think Bravo should rethink (seriously) having her on that show. The direction Bravo is taking by introducing dangerously unstable people is going to end up in a tragedy for someone.
I agree with you. I think Bravo made a major mistake including Danielle in their cast. She will not want to give up the attention being on this show provides her & will retaliate if they do decide to drop her. I’m sure a lawsuit will be filed (probably that “they” damaged her somehow) & I wouldn’t be surprised if she upped the crazy toward the other ladies. i can just imagine them filming at a public location and Danielle and a car full of goons driving back & forth shouting & throwing PBR cans at Caroline’s head. Big mistake Bravo in not looking more carefully into the personalities & backgrounds of those you film. Careful attention should be paid to those whose psychological disorders endanger others, especially once they’ve fed their sick egos by getting a taste of “celebrity”.
Thank you so much for this blog. Watching these women had left me so mystified. I still don’t understand how they continue to be so blind to the effect of their behaviors and statements. Obviously, not all of the featured housewives have personality disorders some only display ” tendencies”. Perhaps just enough to make them interesting subjects.
I am not a therapist, but I think Danielle has some histrionic features as well as BPD features. She craves excitement in the form of sex in public places, according to her ex-boyfriend, and she herself suggested bathroom sex to him on one episode of the show–she even said “I’m bad like that (giggle)”.
Also, even though she is not orginally from NJ–she was raised in a small town in PA and then apparently left sometime after high school to live in Florida for a while, Danielle sometimes adopts a NJ-Ital/American style of speech. Sometimes, however, she loses that style and uses a very hyper-corrected form of speech. She also says she is a “devout” Catholic–yet was not raised as one–so when did this “conversion” take place? To become a Catholic, there are adult classes and a process to go through–you don’t just say you are a Catholic (I know, there are many “lapsed” or former Catholics, myself included). You can say, “I attend a Catholic church”, or “I am in the process of becoming Catholic”—but not “I AM” unless you have been bapitized, received the sacraments of reconciliation and communion, and have been confirmed. Does Danielle just make stuff up to suit her purposes or to fit in? What’s up with that aspect of her personality?
How do you know Danielle wasn’t raised Catholic? I don’t recall her saying that on the show. Just curious how you would draw that conclusion.
Just to add a bit of humor… this is hilarious
OMG- that’s so funny!
how ridiculous you don’t believe it’s true that she was abused.. Danielle clearly shows signs of an abuse victim and she was made a victim of gossip and these womens attacks when she only tried to befriend them.. I thought you with your “psychology degree:” would be able to see this..
If you read both the blog and the comments I do say that childhood abuse is one of the known causes of her disorder. I imagine she is telling some of the truth about her childhood abuse but there are numerous sites online that demonstrate she has altered the telling of it depending on who she tells.
As for the other abuse, I cannot say because some of her stories tend to be suited to garner what sympathy she needs at any given time. Part of APD is using tales of abuse (true OR false) to generate attention and create a way to excuse current behaviors.
I am sorry but I do have to doubt the veracity of someone who has been proven to have lied about what has occurred in their past over and over. People do lie, antisocials often lie.
what lies has she told? last time I checked it was the manzo women that first denied anything to do with the book,
then Dina didn’t have it in her hand, then it was online, they denied any involvement, changed their stories several
times on tape.. they proved themselves to be the liars.
Danielle didn’t bring up her abuse, her past issues on either season except for the reunion to explain that she didn’t
grow up with a safety and security of these women, in fact she didnt have anyone to turn too.. that’s why it was easy
for her to fall into the wrong group of people
One of the grave errors you can make as a psychologist is not believing the patient/accusing them of lying with no legitmate basis, as an abuse victim that’s one of the worst possible things to say to me. No offense but you should really pick another filed and find something other to do with your time.. this post really offended me.
oops sorry for the spelling errors, and if that came across as harsh I’m in the process of healing my own abuse so I really empathize with Danielle and her situation.. I don’t think she’s lying about her past.. if she was seeking attention or sympathy from it she would discuss it non stop and on the show, she doesn’t look from sympathy from others either.. she tries to rpresent herself as very tough.. so I disagree with your assesment.. I don’t think Danielle is perfect, I think she has a lot of fear
and is still dwelling on her past, but the fact of the matter is she is a victim of abuse, and of these women.. why? the book was used to judge her by, to gossip about her, to malign her, it wasn’t for the protection of their family, they never once asked for her aside and made the assumption the author was credible and everything stated in there was fact. These women never gave her a chance.
It is not uncommon for individuals who have suffered childhood abuse (mental, physical or sexual) to create different scenarios and explanations for occurrences they have suffered. It becomes their defense mechanism in order to cope. Many times it’s their only option in feeling worthy of any attention or needing attention. Childhood development during that period is already complex and throw in any of the above can create a very broken person. Someones story not adding up and changing is not surprising for these types of cases.
Thanks for taking the time to present Danielle in her in true “light” and there is no “love” involved. Danielle is extremely narcissistic and I cringe everytime she’s on camera. I’m very concerned about her girls who are being emotionally abused– at minimum. Child Protective Services should be notified.
No, socprof, you are way, way off base. Danielle’s kids should NOT be taken away from her for “emotional” abuse. Can you possibly fathom what you are saying? Can’t you see that if a naked allegation of emotional abuse could get children taken away, then anyone could be subject to a charge of emotional abuse? Family member against family member; neighbor against neighbor. Can a child report their own parent for “emotional abuse” after a fight or a grounding? Seriously, how do you prove it? What’s the indicia? Such a claim is not subject to objective proof like physical abuse is? There are no broken bones, burn marks, bruises. Who is going to pay for the battle of the experts where one expert says “abuse” and the other “no abuse”—should that be the tax payers burden? Furthermore, removing the girls would likely do them more harm. I recognize that they are not in a mentally healthy environment…but so are millions of kids, and you just can’t go in and yank them away from their environment…unless they are being physically abused or neglected.
Too bad Danielle didnt think about all of this when she tried to have Dina’s daughter taken away from her.
While you make very good points about her fulfilling all of the criteria for Antisocial P/D, I think without knowing specific details about her childhood, it would be impossible to make this diagnosis. While she DEFINITELY fits the criteria for most axis II disorders, I lean more toward Borderline P/D. Here is why:
1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abondonment (she seems to feel abandoned by all of the other wives from last season, and thus must make up stories about them and label herself the VICTIM).
2)a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation (ALL of her relationships on the show!)
3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). (i would bet money this lady has had an eating disorder in the past).
affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
7) chronic feelings of emptiness (she sure seems sad to me).
8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) (she pretty much is always angry this season at someone/something).
9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms (thinking that the other family is out to get her and thus bringing along that weird criminal to “protect” her?? wow!)
She fits ALL the criteria for this disorder. And really, it’s just sad. Bravo is making money off of this lady’s pathology. I mean, she IS getting paid quite a bit of money to act like she does on television, but is it worth damaging your own reputation and exposing your children to sure hatred? If Bravo has any sense of compassion, they would at least get some therapy for this woman’s sweet children. But then again, they probably don’t want her to get “better.”
Does #3 explain the very weird interviews where she presents herself as a child? The voice is small and high and her body language suggests frailty. She also blogged advice to Kelly about withdrawing to her inner child and continuing in a fantasy when personal interaction becomes disturbing.
I agree with you 100%. Her polarized thinking “you either love me or hate me, there is no in-between” is characteristic of people with BPD. They either love people or hate people, people are always either right or wrong, people are either your best friend or enemy, these are classic BPD characteristics that Danielle constantly displays. Her overreaction to minor problems (Devastation over Dina not wanting to be her friend) and minimal reaction to more serious issues (Danny threatening violence at the brownstone) are also indicators of BPD. Finally, the need to manipulate to avoid abandonment and the tendency to engage in behaviors that are destructive in her relationships are also things often seen in individuals with BPD.
Selfish, manipulative, without empathy… sounds like psychopathy should be added to the antisocial disorder. As a matter of fact, I’m sure many of the housewives suffer from more than one mental issue.
I truly think you should change it completely or add in Borderline Personality disorder. Look that up and you see that it fits with her better.
Does the fact she’s released this Hustler sex tape change your diagnosis at all?
Not really. Danielle has merely once again avoided work and gone the easy way, thumbing her nose at society and their *useless* rules that should not apply to her anyway in her mind.
Was directed here by a friend b/c I was stating I think Danielle is a narcissist. Was curious as to whether you thought that disorder was at work in her as well.
We all have a little healthy narcissism. I think Danielle is unhealthy on many levels though. Could be a problem for her.
Danielle is definately a pychopath. Especially since her manipulative and unstable behavior has increased since the date of this blog. She is using her daughter’s modeling career for her own gains, her ex-con friends are taking a larger role. Didn’t she say she doesn’t know why the one guy was in prison. She has two kids exposed to ex-con Danny and his ex-con pal. Where’s the concern for her girls. What if the guy was a pedophile? She makes a big deal out of asking the priest to teach her to pray for the other hw’s, then she drags her thugs with her to make some trouble at a Brownstone benefit. The latest episode of her on the stripper pole, spread eagle legs, is sure to embarass her kids. Also, if you read this Danielle, how does your devout Catholicism work with your stripper pole, legs spread wide for the camera, in particular?
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I’ve suspected Danielle of having a personality disorder for a while and after reading this post and all these discussions I was inspired into making one of my own.
Except mine is going to be about the different mental illnesses Ms. Staub is showing the symptoms of(one being ASD). I think it’ll be easier to copy, paste, and cite things from your blog rather than try restating them. I promise to give you credit for your work and in no way will try to bash you or your diagnosis.
I just want your permission and hope you’ll say yes! =)
@Jagodka : You are more than welcome to use some of my post about Danielle with proper credit. I am flattered you want to. I am also interested in seeing what you come up with :). I think the more ideas the better myself.
To be honest, I don’t buy for even a minute that Danielle was abused as a child or an adult. She has lied so many times, and whenever she starts speaking as far as I am concerned, she is lying.
Could there be another explanation for her behavior, other than childhood abuse? Is there any way to diagnose her by assuming everything she has said thus far about herself is a lie?
I agree with you, Amy. I do not have a degree on psychology or anything, but it is one of my favorite subjects of study. However, I don’t need anything but my intuition and gut to tell me that this woman just a liar. When I was watching the reunion show and she was spouting about all that trauma, I didn’t buy it for one millisecond. I have noticed that some people have become upset at posts of this nature, because they themselves have had a childhood trauma; I don’t think that abuse of this nature is to be taken lightly AT ALL. I do not mean to offend anyone who has been unfortunate enough to have any such experience. All I am saying is that I believe she is lying. I have to say that I find it offensive that she would use such a horrible thing as a mask and as a justification for her wickedness.
Danielle is definitely getting more and more dangerous; the more she is exposed on the air and on the web, the more powerful she feels. She mistakenly assumes that because she has generated so much publicity and controversy that it all translates into love.
I applaud Dina for leaving the show. Danielle will, of course, identify this as “I won and Dina lost” and probably won’t rest until she vindicates herself by getting Jacqueline, Theresa and Carolyn to leave the show as well.
I don’t like the way Danielle uses her children as her support system. I just re-watched the episode where she was planning the “celebration” for Christine…intimating it was actually for Christine when she was asking the children about who she should invite? And then told them they weren’t attending.. Oh, geez, it hurt my heart so..it seemed beyond cruel and thoughtlless. I know her children seem like very “nice” children now..but I hate to think of what their futures hold without any intervention.
I just saw Danielle’s new song on Bravo with Andy. EXCELLENT. IT was a beautiful song. I hope she does well with it.
Hi, great blog, Elizabeth…
I have only recently began watching this show, I feel ashamed for watching it (I guess it’s the guilty pleasure thing, but it’s utterly fascinating).
I worked for many years for my father who is an attorney. One of his primary areas of expertise is in juvenile law and Guardian et litem law (An individual (often a lawyer) appointed to represent the best interests of a child or incapacitated person for the purpose of a legal procedure).
The main reason for this post is with regards to the idea of (felony menacing, misdemeanor menacing)…
Felony menacing is the use of a potentially harmful, deadly weapon as a way of intimidation. Example, road rage, threatening a person with a car, in that a car can cause grave harm to other persons.
Danielle enlisted her ex con friend Danny, openly saying that he might still be connected to criminal activity and seemed to have taken pleasure in that. So, she used her friend Danny along with a few of his friends, knowing that at least one has a violent history, to show up at an event as a way to intimidate other persons. Her “rational” (delusional, narcissistic…) is that she needed this type of protection at a charity event for an ill child.
It just seems to me that she hasn’t abandoned her criminal mindset that caused her problems in the past. Elizabeth, I would love to see what your take on this is, and also others who read this post as well.
Where was the physical menacing at the Brownstone event? Just because you look like thuggish and have a sour, boorish manner does not make for menacing. I saw no attempted assaults. You mentioned a car. Did I miss something?
You tied that in beautifully – great insight about Danielle using her friends for intimidation (felony menacing, misdemeanor menacing). Very subliminal; very dark. She also uses the threat of litigation as a weapon to keep her enemies at bay. She uses “Shall I call my lawyer?” a lot – like she has the market on lawyers. It is, however, very effective, especially when you know they will actually do just that – pick up the phone and tie you up with the legal system at the drop of a hat whether their allegations have any basis or not
Just caught up and watched the Monday night showing of RHONJ.
The previous week we were rolling on the floor laughing at Danielle when she told Dina, ‘
Don’t ever call me CRAZY………………………………………………………………….
EVER…………………………………………………………………………………………………
EVER…………………………………………………………………………………………………
And THEN ……there is Caroline saying the SAME thing to Albie –
‘Don’t ever let them tell you what you can’t do something’………………..
EVER………………………………………………………………………………………………..
EVER………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Is this a NJ thing or just a trait of people who think they can control the world?
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Thanks 🙂
This is a very interesting read. I would love to know, angelofdevs, your analysis of the kind of mate Danielle attracts and is attracted to if she is indeed has APD. Thanks in advance.
You have made statements that Danielle suffers from Antisocial personality disorder and others have posted they believe that she suffers from Narcissistic personality disorder. While I can see why you would be confused, since they are both “Cluster B”, she is very clearly Borderline Personality Disorder. Please refer to the DSM-IV. And also, just so you are aware, Persecutory personality disorder is not an accepted DSM-IV diagnosis.
Danielle Staub is telling the media she is the star of the show. In a recent interview, she talks about how the show would be nothing without her and that she wants her own spinoff show about her “many business ventures” LOL and managing her daughter’s careers. She also wants to be on the RHONY because she loves Jill and Kelly. The problem is she is not reading any of the reviews or the blogs. Bravo might have made this season all about Danielle. But from the reviews and blogs I’ve read, viewers do not care about Danielle because she is paranoid, delusional, unattractive, immoral, unlikeable and self absorbed. I haven’t read any postitive news or blogs or comments from one fan of Danielle’s. Yet, the other housewives have many positive comments from reviewers, bloggers and fans.
OMG dont ever compare danielle to tony soprano! thats an insult to my beloved tony!
I just wanted to reply to this, since I am also a survivor. . She talks of things far too casually, as if she is going through the motions of it and it does not genuinely cause her pain. I could be reading into it though.
If Danielle has PTSD like I do, she could be numb. Sometimes people tell me they are surprised that I don’t cry when I talk about things that have happened to me, or that my face looks blank. But I was 4 when most of the stuff happened to me and I didn’t understand the magnitude of what was going on. I am still putting together pieces of my life to see why I act or think a certain way. I only have very specific triggers (for example, my abuse happened in a church and so I can’t go into one without having a panic attack sometimes so bad I throw up.) or if people use certain words or joke about sexual abuse and assault, it really messes with me. Also, there were periods of time in my life- years when I felt like I needed to cry- tension headache, lump in my throat, all that but nothing would happen.
Also, although some things have happened when I was older, I almost always dissociated to try to not feel anything until it was over with. Sometimes I still don’t know how messed up a situation was or how blatantly abusive someone was to me until other people seem extremely outraged about it. I recognize that it shouldn’t have happened but it takes time for me to be able to process everything.
Meredith, so sorry to hear that about your experience. I hope you are finally on a path to healing. As for Danielle…I saw her discussing the abuse on the reunion show last year. Part of me believed her and yet I had doubts as well. What I didn’t like was that smug, smiling, self-satisfied look on Caroline’s face while Danielle was crying. I’m not sure how we’ll ever really know the truth about Danielle’s claims—but it sure would explain a lot about her current mental state. And if true, she needs therapy, not a TV show.
dear Meridith,
Danielle seems to have been raised with no supervision or love and for that I am truly sorry.
For you I wish healing, love and clarity in your life. You can give this gift to yourself and I pray you do with whatever help you need.
My heart and prayers go to you with the wish for peace in your life.
Dear Meredith, No one but Danielle, will every know, for sure, what her past has been. However, I do know, not all survivors end up with anti-social behaviour characteristics. I empathize with your pain, but I do know healing is possible. It does take time, work and the desire to become a whole human being that can function in a healthy and loving fashion. I do not know how far along in the process of healing you are, but wanted to suggest a book that began my miracle of healing. “The Courage to Heal” by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. It was written in 1988, but I still refer to it, to this day. I do feel healing begins with understanding. In the same vein as Dianahelen, I wish you much strength, support, and love. You are not alone. You deserve to be the person you were born to be.
I highly recommend The Courage to Heal. I used it in my Adults Molested As Children workshop (I was a client). One caveat, pace yourself with this book. I read too quickly sometimes and experienced a return to myself at 3 years of age and was not able to process it without calling for help and in a panic. I didn’t know how to use the phone because I was only 3 and I tried to drive somewhere but my feet wouldn’t reach the pedals even though I was about 45 years old.
I imagine Bravo does set up “situations” between the housewives, that’s true. But, what they do on their own time is rather telling, too! Danielle, if she did nothng else but release that “horrendously” awful sex tape, especially since she has two relatively young daughters, says alot about her, and its not good! (yes, curiousity killed a cat), I watched a few minutes of it..there are not words!
And Kelly, continues to Twitter her way into infamy. Its just me, but if I had the financial security that Kelly appears to have, I would just lay low, and truly enjoy life with my children, and continue to do what I loved to do…without the constant attention and negativity…In both situations, I feel the children are the ones that will ultimately pay the price for their mother’s questionable behaviour and bad judgement!
Check this out. This guy makes the funniest videos. He’s the one who did the recent RHNY with Jill as Hannibal Lector.
Bonnie,
Oh, god…I saw those. They are laugh out loud funny!! Thanks for sharing!
http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=4172 Interesting article on the study of anti-social personality and the argument about nurture versus nature.
Cool! I am off to read :).
I think Bravo needs to just boot her off the show. I’m sure if you could somehow email, fax or mail this to the executive producers of the show-they’ll take the time to read this very thoroughly and realize that even though drama does bring in high ratings, its more important to worry about the physical health, and mental health of their participants. Her condition (APD) is clearly having an effect on the other members on the show(Dina having to leave because Danielle constantly spreads rumors to lave Lexi taken away by ACS) And everyone who comes into contact with her is “drained” and can no longer keep up with her antics. She does nothing but make herself look dumber than she already is by pretending to have a group of people who she thinks genuinely “cares, and protects” her OH PLEASE! And to the person who keeps calling Caroline “fat” Stop hating its obvious that shes top heavy (meaning she is very busty) there’s a big difference!
I just saw an online interview of Danielle in which she said she was in talks with Bravo for her own spin off show, that several top singers have approached her and asked her to sing with them but she will do that later, now she is going to record her own songs, that her youngest daughter is going to be the next Miley Cyrus and Lesbian singer Lori Michaels fills a place in her soul. She is a pathological liar, delusional and narcissistic that you can’t believe a word she says.
This season has clearly given her star power. I think she is having or pretending to have the Lesbian affair for shock value, it keeps her in the news and because she is using Michaels, a music producer, to further her singing career. Danielle even waved and yelled at fans, saying they were the greatest. I think it is a sad commentary on our times that a convicted felon, former stripper and dangerous psychopath is not only walking our streets but is a celebrity, thanks to Bravo reality TV.
Thanks ‘Not a Danielle Fan’ and ouch…I couldn’t stand listening to Danielle’s self-righteous twisted self-aggrandized nasal droning BEFORE so can you just imagine how she will be if any of this is actually true? And aren’t you amazed at how this type of personality with no apparent inner depth or interest in self-cultivation happens to be endowed with enough glib bullshit to sink the Titanic. How does that happen? Are they just born with all these snappy comebacks stored in their heads or do they obsessively rehearse over and over again how they are going to whiplash people with their tongues if someone makes a comment about this or a comment about that? They never seem to have a lack of anything to say to anyone. How the hell does this happen? As warped as it is, is it a form of brilliance – some form of highly-evolved predatory intelligence? I know that with all my education, I always come away from situations thinking later about what I COULD have said instead of what I actually did say. I wish I could be so glib…..Anyone have any clarity for me?
Whoa…hang on there…she served her 5 years probation for the felony conviction–a plea deal, and a stripper—so what…are you suggesting she should be taken off the streets for that…good grief! And dangerous psychopath….no evidence of that…she may be Narcissistic, she may be ASD, she may be BPD or a combination of these possible diagnoses…but that doesn’t add up to a dangerous psychopath. Have you actually read this blog? It’s about trying to armchair diagnose an obviously wounded, disturbed woman…it’s not the Salem Witch Trials!
Maxine, I disagree. To me, Danielle is dangerous – psychologically dangerous.
Of course, we can only analyze what is presented and we really don’t know these women personally. However, from what she delivers on-screen, the chaos she provokes can definitely be
considered dangerous – maybe not pathologically dangerous, I don’t know what that entails – but definitely emotionally dangerous. She her stings hurt far too many people to be considered harmless.
no clarity. But if you understood how Danielle thinks you would have to have something in common with her so be glad you don’t get it.
The people that understand her are usually doctors and therapists or they have the same mind set.
She is really scary and distance is the best way to go with her.
You almost feel dirty watching her behave in such a disgusting way.
Yuk
So right! Thx.
If you don’t want to be bitten by a snake, then stay away from it.
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You should do a profile on the Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo) message board and the individuals who post there. How can anyone forgive and forget everything and anything Danielle has done and blame Ashley for all the bad behavior? Ashley was wrong, but we have no idea what Danielle has done behind the scenes. I believe it may be more dangerous than many think.
All anyone has to do is read her “Memoir” to know what a crazy b*tch she is. There is not one word of truth in it.
This episode had Danniel re enacting the swashbuckling scene from The Bodyguard, (Whitney Huston and Kevin Costner). Does anyone remember the lines she parroted from Pretty Woman? “Big mistake. Huge!” ?
I think Danielle may be delusional and melodramatic claiming Theresa’s mean girl jabs meant she wanted to kill her. But I have to hand it to her. She knows how to get publicity. She just filed a lawsuit against Theresa and Ashley for assault and is going to use the show’s footage as proof they assaulted her. According to the law, verbally attacking someone and calling them a bitch and following them out to the parking lot is assault. So Theresa is guilty of assault. Ashley is guilty of assault and battery because she laid her hands on Danielle.
Danielle knows that she won’t get any money from either of them because Theresa is bankrupt and Ashley doesn’t even have a job as far as I know. But they will have to hire lawyers and go to court so she will give them the consequence of their behavior. I believe Danielle is just doing this to keep her name in the news and keep herself on the RHONJ show but I think both Theresa and Ashley should be held accountable for their behavior. Danielle should have sued Jacqueline also. She was menacing Danielle by standing in front of her car so she couldn’t leave.
Danielle started a same sex affair with a music producer to get her to record her daughter and her and get her name in the headlines. She has been interviewed far more than her castmates.
http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/106518/real_housewives_of_new_jersey
i think they sign papers preventing them from sueing cast members.
Bravo might have a clause in the contract that a cast member can’t hold Bravo responsible for damages that a cast mate may cause them but I doubt if Bravo would have a clause in the contract that the cast mates can’t sue each other. Reality shows are all about conflicts between cast mates. One cast mate suing another makes for more drama.
I doubt if it would hold up in court if Bravo did. If a cast mate has a cause of action against another cast mate it would be her legal right to sue.
Besides according to the article I posted, Danielle has already filed the lawsuit against Theresa and Ashley for assault and battery and defamation of character and she is asking for punitive damages.
The incident happened four months ago. If she is just filing a lawsuit…it seems very well-timed, don’t you agree?
On Vacation, I absolutely agree. Danielle was waiting for the show to air. Bravo wouldn’t allow her to use the footage in court until the show aired. Now there is no dispute of what happened. Theresa and Ashley can’t lie in court and deny anything. The cameras show Theresa starting the fight, exploding and calling Danielle a hag, bitch, coke whore and prostitition whore and followed her out to the car and challenging her to get out of the car and fight with her. The cameras show Ashley yanking out Danielle’s extension and admitting it to the cop. When you are found guilty in a criminal court, you are automatically guilty in civil court. Ashley was found guilty of assault in criminal court and given a fine. Ashley still won’t admit what she did was wrong and is still bragging about it on Facebook.
I think Danielle has been getting an attorney’s advice since this incident happened. Apparently, the attorney saw the footage and decided that it showed Theresa and Ashley were guilty and didn’t include Jacqueline for some reason. I think what Jacqueline did was tantamount to kidnapping. She stood in front of Danielle’s car so she couldn’t leave. Then Jacqueline had the nerve to say Danielle shouldn’t have called the police to the country club but gone home and called them the next day in the privacy of her home. Jacqueline even said when she went to stand in front of the car Danielle would have to run her down to go home. I think Jacqueline should be sued also. Her behavior was despicable.
This would never have happened if Theresa and Jacqueline hadn’t been drunk and TV cameras hadn’t been there. Their behavior is reinforced by Bravo executives because the screaming fight brought in high ratings. Theresa and Jacqueline were guests on Andy Cohen and I am sure he laughed and praised them for all the drama. I didn’t watch it because I am disgusted. The only people on that show who have showed any sense over this incident were Caroline who told Jacqueline and Theresa that they behaved like Mean Girls and gave Danielle exactly what she wanted and Chris told Ashley that the fight was none of her business after she said she pulled Danielle’s hair because she thought Danielle hit her Mom. That was just a lie. There was no way Ashley could even thought that. Danielle was running away from Theresa and Jacqueline. Ashley jumped into the foray because she had a long feud with Danielle on Facebook and through text messaging. Ashley had been told by Derek and Jacqueline not to touch Danielle and she did it anyway.
Theresa refuses to take any responsibility for her fighting with Danielle and her and her husband being in bankruptsy. Yet, she spent like a trillionaire and threw a table at Danielle last season and started the country club brawl. Danielle tried to avoid the fight and Theresa kept egging it on. I hope the IRS finds Theresa and Joe guilty of hiding money and Joe is found guilty of fraud for forging his partner’s name on a loan and that Danielle wins in her lawsuit against her. Theresa needs to pay the consequence of her behavior.
What you saw was edited. remember, more to this story than what is shown. Bravo loves to stir the pot and then at the reunion you find out what ELSE happened. Being from NJ, I’ve got that “6 degree’s of separation” think going
and I know someone who’s SIL was at the fashion show.
I’m out. My participation in these blogs begins to feel like participation in the hounding of Danielle. She has no defense outside of her pathology and I can’t, in good conscience, continue as a member of the pack.
I’m out too. It’s starting to make me feel like a loser (no offense to the writer – the blog is great). I keep coming back to this blog as a distraction from finishing my thesis. Why do I even care – I started watching these shows three months ago b/c I got free cable…. I don’t truly care about these people or their lame TV show and shallow lives and now I feel like a weirdo.
I have reached my all time pathetic point by actually re-reading the comments on here today and REPLYING to ones people had posted in response to mine. Yep – definitely out too. Have fun ladies!
I had already made my mind up that if Danielle stayed in, I was pulling out. She is looking for trouble (that is Clear) and now with the lawsuit, she’s looking for $$$$.
(I will also not be watching RHONY if they bring back Kelly Killoren Bensimon. If a person cannot make sense when having a conversation, then why watch?)
Well, it was fun/interesting/frustrating/embarrassing while it lasted !
I still liked the bloganalysises, especially after watching these women after so long.
Thank you, angelofdevs.
I think Bravo might have set this thing up.
I think Bravo sets up the stressful situations and provides plenty of alcohol. I think the reactions and behaviors that ensue are all genuine.
I think everything except the hair pulling was planned and staged. Surely they didn’t encourage Ashley to pull Daniel’s hair, but she must have thought they would approve. Bragging, not the slightest bit of remorse. Another budding sociopath.
This is how I think the last episode was staged. I think Kim D. had the party for Bravo. They may have even paid for it. I think it was staged to have the opposing groups of women sitting across from each other. I think it was planned that Teresa and Jacqueline would be laying in wait in the lobby. What fool would believe that Teresa just wanted to say hi to Danielle and make up. And yes there was probably a lot of alcohol involved so there could be another table throwing type scene. When Ashley pulled Danielle’s hair it was very deliberate. There was almost no emotion on her face, just that of a sneaky little girl. It got confusing who was where and Jacqueline was not upset about her daughter, although that was supposed to be the reason she left the table–to find her. When Jacqueline was outside in front of Kim G.’s car. she seemed awkward, like she didn’t know what to do. She may have been caught off guard by then. Overall, I don’t think the scene came off like they wanted it to, maybe because of Ashley going too far. Anyway, they all looked really bad.
Hello all,
I just stumbled on this posting and have read it from start to finish.
What I find so very interesting is the raw emotion that these comments have.
I am somewhat surprised and intrigued by the level of passion, and yes anger, that I see here.
Some how, some way, Danielle pushes everyone’s buttons.
Sorry, the girl has mad skills. How do you manage to piss off the entire world in an attempt to stay relevent?
As my mother used to say ” When they STOP talking, then I’ll START worrying”
But she was bat shit crazy too-LOL
lorac says:
July 18, 2010 at 1:28 am
“Too bad Danielle didnt think about all of this when she tried to have Dina’s daughter taken away from her.”
So THAT was what Danielle’s “despicable” act was that had Caroline so hot at one Reunion !!!!!!! Finally I get to find out. Had not heard or read anywhere. Me thinks Danielle is not such a benign person….if she can find a way to ‘get’ a person, she will.
LOOK for it to happen.
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Everone is talking crap on his woman who we all see hasen’t had a stable live. To be
Honest Danielle is why I watch this housewives show. Everyone has a past and has done things their not proud of but if my friends sister in laws looked up my past on something about my life 25 yrs ago and told everyone and made a big deal out of it and made my friend choose ur friend on ur family…uummm from being from Philly I would be similar to Danielle. Those woman have nothing else to do in their lifes except talk shit on ppl who they think are below them. Caroline needs to shut her fat ass mouth and stop CONTROLLING Jacqueline! Danielle doesn’t have to answer to no one on her past. She is the reason I watch that show. I would like to see Caroline tell me to choose family (sister-in-laws) or my friend! Jacqueline needs to speak up for herself. PPL should leave her the hell alone. And yes I believe they all are involved with the Jersey Mob?
No matter what Danielle has done in her past, no matter whether Caroline tells Jacqueline to choose or not, I do not believe Danielle has needed to Over React the way she has by bringing ‘Body Guards’ to protect her, for crying out loud. Give me a break. No one had threatened violence on Danielle. She was the one that kept egging people on by bringing out the book. She could have just as easily had a talk with them, instead of making a big deal of putting the book on the table. What a load of ‘crappy drama’.
Again, I love this site and the contributors as well, how intelligent! My thought about Danielle is that angelof devs is right on about her personality. Danielle’s girls are lovely, but as one contributor wrote, “very sad” I think they are traumatically bonded to Danielle and they have learned to give her what she needs, so they have maladapted to Danielle’s absolute craziness. It really scares me because the girls are so innocent. The hope for them is that they are also smart. I wrote on another of angelofdev’s blogs, the one about Caroline which is magnificent, but I stated that I felt that Danielle’s wrath and rage makes her seriously dangerous and she is building up all of the perceived aggression from the Manzo’s, and she will get her cronie Danny to do some great harm, weather accidentally or purposefully, to the Manzos. Danielle is a cowardly parasite behaviorally, and based on what she has done in the past, very very dangerous.
I agree with some of what you’re saying (that Danielle is disordered and her children are being seriously effected by it).
However, I disagree with you regarding Caroline. Caroline is married to a man who’s father was a mafioso and their place of business was purchased on blood money from the mob. Her father-in-law was murdered by the mob because he was a member of it who stole from the mob itself.
On top of all of this Caroline is the one who (with her sister, Dina) started this whole war with Danielle by hiring investigators to look into Danielle’s past and then spreading what she knew around in their local hair salon. Dina’s husband is also a Manzo. Dina and Caroline both live off the riches of a business that is built on mafia blood money and the murder of their father-in-law and yet they are the ones who dug up another person’s past and started a witch hunt based on the judgment of another person (Danielle).
Caroline’s behavior has been dispicable at times (in a more obvious way last year and in a more subtle way this year). After she started this hypocritical witch hunt (of many who follow her lead against one, this is the earmarks of a “mean girl” bully), she then pulled out of it all (after instigating it all), and now this year, acts so above it, like she is the wise one. When, in fact, she starte it all and continues to (more subtely) fan the flames of this year too.
Caroline is a manipulative, mean girl, bully sneak and a horrible example of a person and a mother. She is excellent at covering her tracks and sadly many don’t see through her facade for some reason. I think Caroline is minimally a narcissist and quite possibly a sociopath of sorts.
Caroline (with her followers, Teresa and Jacqueline and Dina to a point, I give Dina more credit in that I think she does know how wrong her side of this situation are too regardless of what Danielle is or isn’t)…these women are horrid examples as mothers.
They are role modeling manipulative and bullying behavior of…cruelty, judgement of others, osctracizing others, obsessing over and constantly insulting and gossiping about others, attacking others… even in manipulative ways like, oh… I was just joking (when they are really just attacking).
Caroline’s children I am sure know the history of their “family” and where the money came from for The Brownstone. Then they have watched their mother go out of her way to dive into another woman’s past and then spread it around town. The same for Teresa and Jacqueline, who’s children we can already see are damaged also.
Gia has been told by her mother she is God’s gift to humanity (mostly based on her looks) as she’s been spoiled rotten with material goods, while her father told her she was “ugly” on their way to the fashion show.
The makings of a narcissistic personality disorder are when a child is spoiled rotton or the opposite, put down, abused emotionally, neglected, etc.
Methinks Gia and her sibs are well on their way to narcissist and sociapathy land.
As for Jacqueline’s kids… Caroline joined in with Jacqueline’s “jokes” on their Brady Bunch family outing to call Danielle a farm animal in front of Jacqueline’s little boy, who totally got what they were doing.
Ashley is not a child, she is a young adult, with no aim in life but to be a cruel, catty kind of female (like her elder female role models in her life). Sad. I wonder where this road will lead her. Narcissism and sociopathy again, probably.
Caroline’s kids seem more normal but again, they’ve seen their “family” gain riches based on the worst kind of “organized” criminal behavior and watched their own mother lead a witch hunt on another because she didn’t live up to her (Caroline’s) idea of standards (hypocracy and cruelty go together well).
Caroline’s kids have learned the art of manipulation, rationalization and covering it all up really wel… = “smooth criminal” = narcissists and sociopaths.
So, yes, I agree about Danielle and her children. But, why don’t we also take a (real and honest) look at Caroline, Jacqueline, Teresa and Dina and what they are teaching their children too.
I think these people are all very disordered and that is what makes them interesting to watch (in this case on a TV show). However, I think it is disgusting when a group of bullies single one out and form a lynch mob and repeatedly target and attack one person. This is sociopathic behavior.
Danielle has not done this particular socipathic behavior, the others have.
So, if Danielle is an antisocial (sociopath), then so are the others, and perhaps they suffer from even a more severe form of it.
Your wrong about the Manzo’s “living off mob money”, if you had been to the Brownstone any time over the past 20 years you would know this family works it’s collective a$$ off. Those kids have worked everything from bussing tables to stacking chairs.
That place RAKES in money but through hard work and loyal staff. They have it down to a science and the food is pretty good too (for a banquet hall).
Seriously, Caroline and Albert have raised good productive kids with a work ethic. More than most people can say today.
I have to say I don’t buy for a second that Danielle was legitimately fearful of Theresa & certainly not Jacqueline. I think she made a split second decision (in her evil genius way) to bolt when Theresa reacted in the predictably over the top manner when insulted. By running & wailing & creating a scene she figuratively flipped the table on Teresa & in that instant cemented the farce she had been trying to create all along that they are “after her”. She hedged her bet, what if T hadn’t run after her? That was pretty low risk since Teresa has shown time and again that she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed & rises to the bait easily. Of all the distasteful weirdness thus far displayed on the show I have to say this situation made me the most uncomfortable & wary. Danielle seems to have worked her crazy to a very lucrative & “powerful” (for lack of a better word) position for herself, racking up both sympathy, revenge & monetary gain in one fell swoop. I find it truly disturbing that someone with such a blatantly dangerous , dysfunctional manner can manipulate so many people!
I just had time to watch WWHL from Monday night. Andy’s guests were Danielle and Jeff [Flipping Out].
Danielle said very plainly that her role was to be the ‘villan’ on the show. She said it was a good ‘job.’ Andy did not respond in any way to this remark from Danielle.
Methinks something is very amiss here.
Either Bravo is fooling us by telling us that RH’s are reality shows OR Danielle has just gone a little farther off her rocker. I was very suprised that Andy did not question those statements [as he did with KKB when she alledged that she had been forced to go to Scary Island — he flat out denied that statement to her face on the Reunion Show.]
Did any one else see this show? What did you think?
I am amazed to have found this website. I don’t have a psyche degree but this is an area of great interest to me and I have done and am still doing a lot of self educating (as I can’t afford the courses these days).
I think Danielle does fit a great deal of the criteria of the antisocial.
I also think that even in the midst of her inconsistencies or lies about her childhood, there likely is one great truth in it all… that she had a repeatedly traumatic childhood.
More often than not antisocials and psychopaths come from horrible childoods. (Not always, but often).
So, I do believe that Danielle has likely suffered a horrible life from birth into her childhood, teen years and beyond. Does this excuse her behavior? No. However, it may explain a lot of her behavior.
Also, what Danielle suffers suffers from doesn’t condone the behavior of the rest of these women (Dina included, although she hasn’t been as bad as others).
I haven’t read your pages on Dina and Caroline yet. I think they also have there issues, especially Caroline. I suspect she is a narcissist wearing a martriarch costume, lol.
I think most of the women on the Housewives (and most “reality” shows) have mental health issues and this is what makes them interesting (vs say… a talent, skill or knowledge on a topic).
I am so glad to find people who are looking at this the way I do. There is something to learn even from the worst kind of reality TV. However, I still know I watch this terrible stuff for entertaiment too and I’m not too proud of that.
I read a post elsewhere from a psychologist who suspects Danielle of suffering from PTSD. Does psychopathy negate the probably of also having an anxiety disorder? I’m not a professional, so I don’t know the answer. However, I imagine it does not. I would think an antisocial can also have PTSD.
I think Danielle has deep issues and to see a bunch of grown women actually form a “gang” (there’s another real of psychology, the gang or mob mentality), a lynch mob of many against one, is sickening, to say the least.
It’s also sickening to see it extend to people posting online.
Regardless of what Danielle is and does, it is not reason or excuse for the horrendous and cruel gang behavior of the others.
It is frightening to see so many people online behaving like pre WWII nazis with a Jew in their midst. This says something about these individuals (on the show and online) and our society (that might’ve been the makings in mankind of how a Hitler comes to power). The blind and hateufl following the blind and hateful. This is very frightening to me. No mercy.
As far as Jacqueline and Teresa, and there mothering skills… I find this truly scarey.
I think all of there children stand a very good chance of having similar and worse personality disorders and we are watching this happen to these children right now.
Sad, scarey and fascinating stuff.
This is a terrific blog! I wish everyone would look at these shows from this perspective (especially vs hateful gang mentality).
After reading you site, Your site is very useful for me .I bookmarked your site!
I agree with some of what you’re saying (that Danielle is disordered and her children are being seriously effected by it).
However, I disagree with you regarding Caroline. Caroline is married to a man who’s father was a mafioso and their place of business was purchased on blood money from the mob. Her father-in-law was murdered by the mob because he was a member of it who stole from the mob itself.
On top of all of this Caroline is the one who (with her sister, Dina) started this whole war with Danielle by hiring investigators to look into Danielle’s past and then spreading what she knew around in their local hair salon. Dina’s husband is also a Manzo. Dina and Caroline both live off the riches of a business that is built on mafia blood money and the murder of their father-in-law and yet they are the ones who dug up another person’s past and started a witch hunt based on the judgment of another person (Danielle).
Caroline’s behavior has been dispicable at times (in a more obvious way last year and in a more subtle way this year). After she started this hypocritical witch hunt (of many who follow her lead against one, this is the earmarks of a “mean girl” bully), she then pulled out of it all (after instigating it all), and now this year, acts so above it, like she is the wise one. When, in fact, she starte it all and continues to (more subtely) fan the flames of this year too.
Caroline is a manipulative, mean girl, bully sneak and a horrible example of a person and a mother. She is excellent at covering her tracks and sadly many don’t see through her facade for some reason. I think Caroline is minimally a narcissist and quite possibly a sociopath of sorts.
Caroline (with her followers, Teresa and Jacqueline and Dina to a point, I give Dina more credit in that I think she does know how wrong her side of this situation are too regardless of what Danielle is or isn’t)…these women are horrid examples as mothers.
They are role modeling manipulative and bullying behavior of…cruelty, judgement of others, osctracizing others, obsessing over and constantly insulting and gossiping about others, attacking others… even in manipulative ways like, oh… I was just joking (when they are really just attacking).
Caroline’s children I am sure know the history of their “family” and where the money came from for The Brownstone. Then they have watched their mother go out of her way to dive into another woman’s past and then spread it around town. The same for Teresa and Jacqueline, who’s children we can already see are damaged also.
Gia has been told by her mother she is God’s gift to humanity (mostly based on her looks) as she’s been spoiled rotten with material goods, while her father told her she was “ugly” on their way to the fashion show.
The makings of a narcissistic personality disorder are when a child is spoiled rotton or the opposite, put down, abused emotionally, neglected, etc.
Methinks Gia and her sibs are well on their way to narcissist and sociapathy land.
As for Jacqueline’s kids… Caroline joined in with Jacqueline’s “jokes” on their Brady Bunch family outing to call Danielle a farm animal in front of Jacqueline’s little boy, who totally got what they were doing.
Ashley is not a child, she is a young adult, with no aim in life but to be a cruel, catty kind of female (like her elder female role models in her life). Sad. I wonder where this road will lead her. Narcissism and sociopathy again, probably.
Caroline’s kids seem more normal but again, they’ve seen their “family” gain riches based on the worst kind of “organized” criminal behavior and watched their own mother lead a witch hunt on another because she didn’t live up to her (Caroline’s) idea of standards (hypocracy and cruelty go together well).
Caroline’s kids have learned the art of manipulation, rationalization and covering it all up really wel… = “smooth criminal” = narcissists and sociopaths.
So, yes, I agree about Danielle and her children. But, why don’t we also take a (real and honest) look at Caroline, Jacqueline, Teresa and Dina and what they are teaching their children too.
I think these people are all very disordered and that is what makes them interesting to watch (in this case on a TV show). However, I think it is disgusting when a group of bullies single one out and form a lynch mob and repeatedly target and attack one person. This is sociopathic behavior.
Danielle has not done this particular socipathic behavior, the others have.
So, if Danielle is an antisocial (sociopath), then so are the others, and perhaps they suffer from even a more severe form of it.
I think Caroline is Danielle’s match and more. I think Caroline is a “mean girl” with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), possibly even a bit of a Sociopath (having no guilt over being so cruel and organizing a witch hunt of many against one, lynch mob), who has no problem living off the riches of organized crime and blood money, all while posing as the loving mother, wise matriarch.
Caroline is a cold hearted, smooth sociopath and she seems to have most people hoodwinked (as good sociopaths usually do, lol).
Danielle and the others have their issues, but Caroline is far smoother than they are (as she has people believing her line of bull much more than the others do).
Check this book out, you will be suprised, not only how many people on TV (film, music, etc, more today than ever) as well as in your own life, in our society today, are more than the normal “healthy” level of narcissistic and how toxic it really is to our lives (especially to children):
The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists
Good day all. I just found this site not long ago and have enjoyed the content immensely. What is astounding to me right off the bat is how many of the housewives actually fit into the psychological profiles presented. It makes me wonder about the mental heal of society in general.
I hope you all don’t mind if I chime in once in a while. My interest is peaked because I am the parent of and primary caregiver for an adolescent with a serious mental illness. The best guess the doctors have is that it may have been triggered because of difficulties at birth. She was 7 weeks premature and almost died at birth. The reason I am sharing that is because we started our journey with the mental health world when she was in 7th grade. Hundreds of hours of individual, group, and family therapy and loads of different medicine combinations later we are still trying to find the best mix. It took doctors an incredibly long time to even come to the conclusion that we were dealing with something more than adolescence.
I’ve read a lot of the comments about how this woman should seek help. I think that most of the other housewives would benefit greatly from therapy. Actually, I think that almost everyone I’ve ever met would benefit from some therapy. I know I have. I have not been diagnosed with a mental illness but sure a heck thought at times I had one. Anyone out there that has dealt with mental illness knows just how convincing they are and how easily they can convince you that what they perceive as real, actually is real. Just having someone listen to me has kept me, at least somewhat, sane.
It takes that elusive willingness and a great deal of courage to truly look at your own self and embrace treatment. I don’t believe that Danielle Staub has that willingness nor do I think she has any real courage whatsoever. I am not certain that any amount of therapy or medicine combination would truly help Danielle,at least not for several years. I see her as spending the majority of her therapy time trying to manipulate the therapist and her arrogance would prohibit her from taking the necessary medication.
Plus she is just plain mean. Whether it stems from her childhood, a mental illness, or is just her character, it is obvious that she is very mean and plays dirty. Her blogs on Bravo are either vicious attacks on others (Including the children of other women – some as young as 8 years old), promoting her extra-Real Housewives endeavors, or just plain lies. She is, in my opinion, dangerous. The information recently made public by Dina that she actively tried to have Dina’s ex-husband seek custody of their child is evidence that she crosses the line between playing villain and actually being dangerous to others. Caroline once said on one of her interviews “where does it stop?” I’d like to ask the same thing. When does it become a serious enough liability with Bravo for them to remove this woman from the others? I’m hoping that the information about Danielle getting her own spin off is real. What I hope comes about is that the spin off removes her from the proximity of the other women and their children, the spin off is a flop, and Danielle is then successfully remove from the Real Housewives show and her failure is attributed only to her lack of success on her own show. When you think about it, it is an excellent way for Bravo to get her out and if it happens to be successfull, they get the revenue, Danielle gets the attention and celebrity status she craves, and maybe, just maybe, the heat will be removed from her daughters and they can enjoy their youth instead of having to work to pay the household bills.
I respect all that Florida RHW Fan has said and appreciate the time and effort it took to present her views. I also agree with most of it.
However, the part where Danielle should get her own show to get her away from the other Housewives ignores the prospect that she will need to interact with others and she will end up being just as dangerous to them as she is to the RHONJ. She is very enterprising when it comes to marshalling attacks and enlisting the help of others in her antics.
As you stated, she is just plain mean and if she gets her own show, that meaness will only accelerate. Witness how she interacted with the saleswoman at Posche when she went to talk to Kim D and Kim was not available to her. Can you just imagine how she would treat people if she gets her own show?
My vote would be to just get her off the Bravo channel and TV altogether and stop helping her to benefit from her bad behavior. The more times she dominates the action on RHONJ and the more times Andy has her as a guest on Watch What Happens Live, the more her own self worth escalates.
JMHO.
BTW – I am addicted to these comments. I am so proud of all of you [women] for your thoughtful insights and contributions.
I agree with you about thrusting Danielle’s destructiveness onto others. It is an irresponsible thing for me to wish that on anyone but my hope is that at least Bravo could make sure that there are no children in the path and Danielle’s past on the Real Housewives show should “clue in” those that chose to participate on the spin-off. I’m sort of afraid of what Ms Staub is actually capable of if they simply tossed her off. Would she retaliate against Bravo or the other women or possibly their children? I think it is pretty much a given that she would retaliate and with gusto. But I don’t think that will happen. There is just not enough that I’ve seen or heard about in Danielle’s life to sustain any show for long. I would, however like to see someone force her into a conversation where the topic has nothing at all to do with her or these other women. Wouldn’t that be a hoot? They could start with something simple like having her read a book and discuss only the book. I’d give her a max of 3 to 4 minutes before she shifted the conversation back to herself.
I agree with Florida RHW. especially the part about the children.
I don’t think Danielle can touch their money but conning them out of it and going with the daughter that models out of the country for a free vacation is probably going to happen. It looks like she got the music lover Laury or whatever her name is to get the youngest one a music gig so she is planning on using them for a career since we know she only has skills that are worthless.
The kids seem nice and this is really sad.
Danielle showed how she is damaging her beautiful daughters by forcing Jillian to sing in their living room on camera, while telling Christine to stop eating chocolate by saying “it’s gross”. Destroying a child emotionally does not make for good tv, in my book. But it does look like Danielle loses a few more “friends” on the next episode, and watching her fall hard seems fitting.
I tried to watch, but it hurts my heart to see Danielle stealing the “light” from her children. It seems like they are good kids, but they aren’t happy kids, the total destruction hasn’t set in yet. As is normal m.o. for a narcissist, everything becomes about Danielle and so it reflects back to her and only her. She uses them as her confidants and shares with them adult conversation. If you notice, she never steps a side, so that they may shine all on their own and accept their successes as their own. They are so enmeshed..as to not be able to stand on their own as different human beings with different thoughts and ideas than Danielle. I won’t make this sick woman rich by watching her destroy her children. Its just too painful. I know we don’t see everything, but what we do see, says it all. I never think a loving parent seeks to gain from riding the coattails of their children. I don’t like watching any of the story lines of the children in these programs because it just doesn’t seem appropriate that they be involved in what most would consider adult programing. I don’t even like it when Andy includes that kid from NY on the talk show. Its not cute or funny, it makes me wonder why he is allowed to watch what is mostly considered adult programming. Anyway, I’m disappointed they’ve changed the course of the housewives into a sick melodrama of women looking for their 15 minutes of fame and creating stupid “brands” of themselves. It used to be fun…now its just sad.
I agree, violet54. Danielle’s girls seem very nice and uncorrupted thus far, but the way Danielle forcing her child to sing when you could plainly tell it was the last thing she wanted to do was too much to watch. If she wanted something sung, she should have done it herself. She never shows affection to them, in my opinion. Had that been my child crying because she didn’t want to do it, I would have been over there hugging her and letting her know it was her decision to make….Not mine. How can BRAVO continue to allow this woman to be part of this program? Guess they are getting what they want, though….there are a Lot of people right here commenting on things !
vickie, About the commenting…I know, I hesitate to comment anymore because I wonder if it contributes to the popularity! HA Obviously, I don’t know how tv execs and the big wigs decide on programming or how they choose the various women to stay or leave. If its just about money…I guess they will continue to rev up the trash drama…they will lose some and gain others, but if they have any integrity at all..I’m hoping they are doing research on the blogs and reading comments. (I’m probably dreaming)..and making note that its becoming unentertaining and uncomfortable to watch.
As I said, early on, like with the RHOOC…it was just good fun…the irony of being women of class being totally class-less! I always wondered if they understood we weren’t laughing “WITH them”!! But, as you said, with the children being involved, its a very poor commentary on what people find entertaining. And frankly, I haven’t found any of the children enjoyable to watch. But then I wouldn’t want to have been televised at any point of my growing up, thats for sure!
It seems like after seeing Danielle’s children on last Monday night’s episode we can all really see how much she uses them to look good and get attention for herself. It seems her ex was disgusted and barely aknowledged her and I don’t blame him. I believe he loves the girls and I read that one of the girls wants to live with him. He also wants that so let’s hope that happens. I think the child has to be 12 or 13 to make the choice so it must be the younger one.
Danielle must be reading the blogs calling her out on her mothering b/c she states she must be doing something right and she’s a great mother. Wrong.
The georgous girls look like their father who has the classic good looks. Daneille is not that attractive and from the mug shot never was.
Danielle has told the media she is in talks with Bravo about getting her own spinoff show but Bravo has never conformed that. Her selling point was that she had two talented daughters and the camera could follow Christina all over Europe as she walks the runway and Gilian in her singing career as she becomes bigger than Miley Cyrus. As an afterthought, she mentioned she was beginning a singing career also. So if she got her own show, Danielle is going to push her daughter’s careers further, not back off on being a stage mom.
I doubt if Bravo would give Danielle her own show because she could not carry the show like Bethenny can. Bethenny is a natural comedienne and she is lovable and charming and had millions of fans that followed her. Bethenny was the real star of RHONY and her new show is funny and heart warming and a refreshing break from the drama of bickering housewives. Her fans also fell in love with Jason, the baby, Cookie and her assistants.
Danielle is hated by viewers and no one wants to watch her brow beating her unhappy daughters, bragging about what a good mother she is and how she is loved by all her friends who are no more than extras on the show because she can’t keep any real friends and going paranoid and ballistic if she believes someone has dissed her. Danielle’s only asset to Bravo is that she is delusional, narcissistic, paranoid and believes people are out to get her and therefore she is the lightning rod that creates drama on RHONJ. My guess is Bravo will keep Danielle on RHONJ and add two new housewives who will end up in battles with her as well as the Gangsta Sistas Caroline, Theresa, Jacqueline and Ashley.
I predict there will be a massive RHONJ boycott if they keep Danielle. Very few want to see her back on the show next season.
At this point though, I’m not sure how they can save the show. It went so wrong. Dina actually having to quit seems to have put in into a downward spriral along with the T&J bankruptcy and the D lawsuit against Ashley.
It is all just too far over the line to be entertaining.
“My guess is Bravo will keep Danielle on RHONJ and add two new housewives who will end up in battles with her as well as the Gangsta Sistas Caroline, Theresa, Jacqueline and Ashley.”
To: Not a Danielle Fan, Neither am I and if what I quoted you saying above is what happens, I do NOT intend to watch that crap. It’s worse than the Soap Operas I Used to watch.
I have no intention of watching any of the HW shows next season. The DC wives don’t interest me in the least, it looks again like women behaving badly and rudely to one another.
I hope that each housewife will look at the way they’ve acted and do some soul searching. I can no longer watch these shows with a clear conscience. The only aspect I’ll miss is participating here and knowing what the heck Richard Lawson at Gawker is snarking about. I’ll still read these blogs but I’m afraid these women are no longer interesting enough for me to spend a couple hours a week watching them.
Karen Lee — I agree and only will watch because my TIVO makes it so easy to record and then watch when I’m ironing, cooking or something like that. I would NEVER be able to tune in at the proper time and watch it, that would drive me crazy.
That being said, I really do think that the Kelly meltdown and the NJ girls have put the shows all the way through the wringer and there is no coming back from that. OC is also in bad shape. The Tamra divorce, all the money problems, and Slade – too creepy.
Karen Lee, I will be in that number, also….NOT to watch next season.
When a couple can CRASH a White House event, get close enough to shake the President’s hand and NOT have criminal charges brought up against them because they are part of a tv show not taking responsibility for what they are doing or causing people to do, then I Am Out Of Here.
It was a fun and interesting at the beginning, but things have gotten out of hand and not enough people seem to think it’s Too Much.
Fun while it was ‘fun’….now it’s bordering on (if not downright) criminal or Wrong.
I’m glad to hear so many women are fed up with the Bravo housewives series that they are no longer watching.
I won’t watch anymore because the housewives drunken brawls, obsession with looking like Barbie Dolls and spending money they don’t have gives women a bad name.
Most of them are mentally ill and alcoholics or drug addicts.
None of the housewives have any talent, education or class or real accomplishments except for Bethenny and Alex. Yet, Bravo has made them celebrities with fans asking for autographs and reporters interviewing them.
Most of the housewives are hypocrits.
Caroline judges and criticizes Danielle for her criminal past 25 years ago and yet her father in law was a member of the mafia and was murdered for skimming money from one of the mob’s casinos in 1989 and she is living off mob money.
Theresa brags about her mansion, her new “boobies” and expects diamonds on her anniversary and yet she files for bankruptsy claiming she is $11 million in debt.
Danielle brags about what a good mother she is and yet she is pushing her 11 year old and 15 year old into singing and modeling careers they don’t want because of her delusions and narcissism.
On HWOC, Lynn gets plastic surgery for herself and her daughter, buys expensive clothes and jewelry and goes to the gym regularly. Yet she can’t pay rent and has been evicted nine times.
On HWOC, Alexas claims she is religious and such a great mother and yet she has three nannies and is always off boozing and trying to start a fight with anyone who criticizes or tries to talk to her husband.
I would rather follow the lives of women who are educated, accomplished career women and wives and mothers who are assets to society, not these boozing, drugging worthless law breaking mental cases.
Not a Danielle Fan that was beautifully articulated and I agree 100%. Thank you for reinforcing what I was feeling.
Well said. On the money too!
I agree with not a Danielle fan completely. I have noticed that we are all tired of these women and I am bored with them too. They are unevolved and ignorant. Teressa is especially digusting with asking for diamonds. she should go get a job and practice birth control. Her kids are NOT cute or attractive and she is not either. No talent and no brains. Her husband is also not attractive in any way and seems dumb and ignorant.
Bored with all of them. Time to move on.
Sadly, I believe we are in the minority. The real housewife shows featuring the screaming cat fights have the highest ratings. More viewers watched Theresa flipping a table last season and the Country Club brawl this season than any other night. More viewers watched Kelly’s “breakdown” on Scary Island than any other RHONY episode that season.
Bravo’s housewife shows are touted as hit shows. The only reason they have high ratings is that millions of people are watching them. I don’t understand why anyone wants to watch rich women running around in bikinis and fancy party dresses getting tans, botox, plastic surgery, getting drunk and fighting.
I’d rather watch the disadvantaged achieving goals against all odds rather than women who marry rich men self destructing before my eyes. I like watching stories about underdogs who pull themselves up from their bootstraps and achieve their goals even though they came from poverty, were abused, neglected or had physical handicaps or addictions. These people are role models to me. Except for Bethenny and Alex, all of the housewives I’ve watched are nobodies and gold diggers who get their money from rich men and sell books, records, jewelry and cosmetics, not because they are talented or worked for it, but because they are reality show stars.
How can we teach our children to work hard to achieve their goals and avoid drugs, alcohol, bullying and violence when we support TV shows about grown women drinking, bullying, fighting and focusing on looks and money instead of morals and values? We need to boycott these shows and support shows that star role models for our children and us.
Danielle to Kim G: “I just want to smell her. I wanna smell my mom”. Huh? Is this for real? She just sounds nuttier and nuttier each episode!
Great journey and experience!
I am not a Danielle fan because of some of her self centered antics, but non the less I do understand her somewhat. Having also been raised in an abusive situation where my mother gave up my siblings (I was the lucky legitimate one they left in the concentration camp!) I understand the lonliness of having no family and hoping that the Manzo’s would befriend her so she would have a sort of extended ones in friendship. When they froze her out…it was hurtful to her while also being stuck in a reality tv show with them. Your explaining how and why people have these mental abnormalities makes me worry for my own health. If what you are saying is true, these things are not the abused childs fault, but the mother who smoked while being pregnant with us or the mother who thought abusing us would be entertaining?? The whole thing makes me sorry for her and the rest of us that weren’t born from a place of love or peace. Just because someone else damaged us …it does not give others the right to add more damage to the mix. Life is hard, me….I try to be a good person and get shit on more times than that similar to Jaqueline I guess. I am a midwestern girl that moved to the west coast only a couple of short years ago…..want to talk about narcicistic behaviors? Try moving this direction and you will be in culture shock for sure.
Pingback: Mental Disorders 101
Very nice site!
Thanks for the analysis of Danielle Staub. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where she was coming from but I think your diagnosis is right on. Interesting stuff.
I stopped watching RHONJ after the country club smashed screaming match and am not watching any more crazy housewives make fools of themselves on national TV. However, I saw in the news that Bravo told Danielle she won’t return for a new season but Caroline, Theresa and Jacqueline were asked back.
Danielle claims she was shocked when Bravo told her the news but she is happy because she claims she is getting her own reality show spinoff like Bethany Frankel. Bravo hasn’t confirmed it. I can’t imagine anyone tuning in to watch the paranoid former felon stage mom with her Lesbian Lover. It would be boring and bizzarre.
I forgot to include the link to one story about Danielle’s firing and new show:
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/08/17/2010-08-17_danielle_staub_speaks_out_about_being_fired_from_real_housewives_of_new_jersey_h.html
Caroline just “schooled” Danielle! Hahaha!
Someone commented on Jacqueline’s compulsive eating, but it is nothing compared to Danielle. I’m surprised no one has commented about it. She is eating in almost every scene. Watching her makes me nauseous. They rarely show her at home now, probably because her house is too messy!
Actually, as a professional, I see Danielle as a Mixed personality disorder, with predominantly Borderline Personality Disorder traits. The “splitting” she does (for example with love/hate, all good/all bad, is a predominant feature. She can’t maintain relationships, plays the victim (can’t take responsibility for the fact that she creates the chaos), and makes everyone around her crazy (see, Teresa). And with a Borderline, you can’t “win” with them or please them, as you are “damned if you do/damned if you don’t.” This played out with one of the Kims, and likely did with many other of her “ex-friends”.
Danielle also has Narcissistic and Histrionic Personality disorder traits. Borderlines are usually female, Antisocial usually male, as they are similar but play out differently between the two genders. Danielle is much more the Borderline type.
yes, exactly. danielle is no psychopath or suffers from antisocial PD she is the classic textbook case of a woman with borderline personality disorder
Ive only read a few of your pages mainly RHONY ones bt ive started reading the RHONJ ones aswell and for the most part i really agree with you, you were dead-on with Jill Zarin the classic Narcissist but i have to say i feel you are way off with Danielle i dont feel like she is a Psychopath but probibly have some degree of APD but certianly not a Psycho. I think Danielle suffers from many mental disorders most reconizibley in my opinion BPD (Boarderline Personality Disorder) or HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder). but i havent got a degree in Psychology but i do really enjoy matters concerning mental health so i do my research im 16 BTW.
P.S. can you please do something on Sonja Morgan i really like her thanks xx=]
What’s goin on? I have been waiting patiently for new diagnosis of the new housewives and there’s been nothing since the summer!
Where are you Angelofdevs?
AngelofDevs.. PLEASE come back! I can not wait to see what you say about Michaele Salahi. She is the strangest of them all! Totally delusional and yet I think she “had a moment” on RHoDC part 2 when she was asked if she ever went anywhere without Tariq. I think those were real tears (or a screwed up face). does that mean she is afraid to go anywhere without him or is he a complete control freak. I think the later.
Interesting.. VERY interesting…
Yes, yes. Please come back I check this site every day. Regarding Michaele, once I saw her backed into a corner and vicious, I started to wonder if she doesn’t wield more power in the relationship than he does. I read that he was well liked during his school days and I wonder if he could have been driven by Michaele’s desire for money and prestiege to ruin his parents winery. I saw a shrink once who said the one that appears more powerful in a couple’s public personna is usually actually the weaker one. Would love to hear your comments on any of the new housewives.
I’ve lived with a woman diagnosed with borderline for a few years… so many similarities between Danielle and my ex.
I have to say that I don’t agree with your deduction of her psychological state. I don’t believe her histrionics are a result of psychopathy. The word “psycho” is thrown around too much. Nowadays the term is used to refer to a wide range of personalities and social behaviors. Just because she doesn’t make sense to “normal” people doesn’t mean she is psycho. Aren’t we jumping to easy conclusions here? She may have co-occuring conditions, and I believe that fear of abandonment plays a huge role in her desperate array of “drama queen” antics. So if I had to choose just one “label” I would have to say borderline personality disorder is more fitting. She feels guilt and, very importantly, shame thus the reason she has changed her name. She polarizes the world when she says “You either love me or you hate me. There’s no inbetween.” That’s black and white thinking, which is highly indicitive of BPD. She leans on her daughters because they can’t just up and abandon her on a moments notice (at least not yet.) I am not condoning all of her parenting techniques but she has made her daughters her “only friends” because she is protecting her ego. She is reassuring herself on some level of consciousness that she has friends. That she isn’t alone in the world. And I think she wants to be their friend because if she is the cool mom they won’t ever leave her. The problem with this logic is that she has pushed that on them too much which may be the very reason they don’t have srtong relationships with their mother as adults, thus creating that self-fulfilling prophecy- percieved abandonment. She has arrogance about certain things but I believe it is a front, a put on. Also those who are plagued with BPD have very raw emotions that lie just beneath surface, liable to present themselves at slightest hint of rejection. So while it may appear that she is being manipulative by sensationalizing things, I believe that in the world as she understands it, she believes her reactions are appropriate. And I might even go as far as to say that if manipulation was happening in the forefront of her mind, it may be the only way she knows how to survive since BPD doesn’t allow you to react in socially acceptable ways since the fear of abandonment is so blinding. Anyone can get annoyed and confused regarding Danielle’s behavior but we don’t need our irritations leading us to draw awfully simplisctic conclusions.
I’m just catching up on RHONJ and happened across this post. While it’s old, I feel compelled (just for the sake of argument) to say that I agree with the above commenter, Kay Stevens. At first I thought Danielle was possibly dealing with bipolar disorder but, after watching more of the second season, I see more and more borderline traits coming from her. She’s manipulative and impulsive, there is the classic black and white thinking, and the almost frantic need to keep people from abandoning her among other things. Coupled with the brief history she gave of her childhood, I would say BPD would rank high on the list. I, personally, don’t think she’s displays the characteristics of a psychopath. Yes, she may display some of the characteristics you’ve listed but I do believe she displays a conscience. She really is upset knowing that she’s hurt people; it just doesn’t last long because she is so darn defensive and afraid of people hurting and abandoning her.
However…what do I know? I’ve only taken three psych classes. I’m finishing abnormal right now. 😉
I am a practicing therapist and I also disagree with your pseudo “diagnosis.” Danielle seems to have Borderline Personality Disorder. If you carefully review the diagnostic criteria and not let the biased noise of the media cloud your judgment, you may make clearer “diagnoses.” Mental illness isn’t something to joke about. Her kids may read what you call “entertaining” and cause some trauma. And that is unethical on so many levels. She like yourself is a human being, and to put it in perspective, imagine meeting Danielle at the age of 8 and asking her what she wanted to be when she grew up? I would imagine she had dreams like youself. I doubt she would have said, “when I turn 40 I want to be someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.” I truly hope that somewhere along your graduate career, you are also trained on ethics and confidentiality. It’s our golden rule. Good luck!
You have expressed your opinion so let it be. Most persons on this site are having a reasonable discussion. If Danielle did not want her children to be exposed-she would not be on TV. Her kids will need therapy but not from finding this site. I hope you are not the reason for angelofdev not posting. You seem to have put a spin on this that does not exist. Leave those of us interested alone.
@Catnapper. i have to agree with Satori. i feel sad for you if you have to obsess over a blog about the ”personality disorder” of reality tv contestants.
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I haven’t watched many of the Housewives shows, but through observing Danielle Staub’s behavior displayed in her recent TV venture – Famous Food – It is my opinion that Ms. Staub has more tendencies towards Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Although, to be fair, many people with these disorders often exhibit behaviors from more than one category. To put it in “Famous Food” terms – Ms. Staub’s personality disorder seems to be a buffet rather than an entree.
Przyznam, ze im dluzej korzystam z netu to coraz bardziej boli mnie glowa i aby dbac o zdrowie powinnam prawdopodobnie zdecydowanie zmniejszyc meczenie oczu. Aczkolwiek niekiedy trafia sie na takie zaj…. posty i ponownie wciagnieta jestem na dlugie godziny. Dziekuje autorowi za moje dolegliwosci 😉 Przyznam jednak ze takie bole to zniose z przyjemnoscia. Milego dnia.
hahahahah, as a psychological researcher I found this so funny, especially when you say “The other four housewives seem to be on the side of hating her, I find her entertaining.” It’s so true about us
Satori,
Give me a f-in break. We all had undergraduate degrees once too. We all did this same shit, and diagnosed everyone. Elizabeth specifically says that this site is for entertainment purposes only, which I can appreciate. Elizabeth didn’t enter in to a therapeutic relationship with Danielle so how is she violating confidentiality? With alllll of the denigration of Danielle in the media, how is one little blog going to traumatize her kids? They’ve gotta be inured at this point.
Wow there are a lot of comments on this post. I just wanted to comment that I actually agree with most of the diagnosis of Danielle. She is like a carbon copy of one of my mom’s sisters who, unfortunately, was one of my grandfather’s favorites. I am a survivor of several traumatic situations involving my mother’s immediate family. My mom has done the best she could and tried and tried and tried to have a relationship with them. I used to try as well. My grandfather definitely suffered from narcissistic personality and my mother’s two older sisters show signs of narcissistic as well as antisocial/sociopath behaviors. My mom suffers a bit from depression – no surprise coming out of that crazy family – but other than that, she’s about as normal as she possibly could be. She’s very shy but otherwise has had good relationships with her colleagues who have become lifetime friends and who have looked out for her over the years when she used to deal with these traumas. My mother’s older middle sister definitely had stalking tendencies and definitely does not suffer any remorse. She has turned things around to make her look like a victim (just as Danielle has done on the show). She accused me of elderly abuse and accused my mother of being at fault for my grandfather breaking his hip many years ago when he rode a bike at the age of 90. She said it was my mom’s fault because apparently the bike belonged to her. My mother never had nor kept a bike at my grandparents’. When the truth is right in front of her, she is unable to recognize it and continues to play the victim. There have been more serious examples that I don’t really want to get into here which have definitely exhibited signs of the conditions described here on this blog. I think what is so frustrating is that you cannot find justice with people like this and there is no reasoning with them. They are crazy and after what I went through and after I saw what my mother went through with them, these people are very ill and need help. But it’s almost impossible for those who recognize the problem to get them to go get professional help because they truly believe that you are the one with the problem. Oh, and my mother’s sister’s husband once told me that “I have no soul”. Talk about projection! I want to thank you for this blog and this article in particular. I just started watching RHONJ last year and have been trying to understand some of the stories by watching some of the older episodes. When I watch Danielle, I see my mother’s two sisters all too clearly through that crazy woman. My mother’s sisters have never been charged with anything – but some of the things that they did to me as a child would today be considered abusive. when I confronted other members of the outside family about this, they told me that that is just how it was in those days. I have completely cut myself off from all of them and the only family I have now is my mother because I cannot associate myself with those who associate with the sociopaths of that family. It’s sad to say that I have no extended family but that’s how the cookie crumbles sometimes. I find a lot of comfort with people who can see the situation in a psychological manner which is also why I took some psychology classes in college. And I also thank my therapist for helping me get through these traumas, for sure. I hope that Danielle’s daughters will not end up like her and can see her for what she really is. When it’s your own family, it’s very hard to deal with.
Did she adopt those girls? They look nothing like her.
Or gas she just snatched them as babies? Perhaps a DNA test is needed.
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so shameful to behave like that at such a event involving a baby with cancer. did she really think we bought that idea she was there to help. none of her friends paid anything, they just went for their 2 mins of fame and some drama. shame on them!!
So glad to see a perspective that is so true. BRAVO should be ashamed of themselves that they have someone so destructive, self centered and cruel on their show. This is no longer entertainment watching someone get paid to be such a terrible human being. Shameful that this is what BRAVO thinks this is what the public wants to see. A human being that is hurtful to everyone in their life should not be paid to be on television.