RHONY’s LuAnn de Lesseps – Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder

My apologies for any delays in responding to some of your great comments, observations and questions on my other posts here. I am trying to get to that as much as possible. I really do appreciate all the input from everyone and am learning a lot here. Honestly I had not expected the volume of responses and have been a bit overwhelmed. Delightedly so. Some of the conversations in responses are every bit as enlightening as what I write here, I urge everyone to read through and enjoy.

Read this post with the usual disclaimer for entertainment purposes only, mostly my entertainment to be frank. I have a legitimate degree in Psychology as well as one in Early Childhood Development but I am not a practicing mental health professional. I am determined to uncover all the disorders lurking inside the various housewives in trying to better understand them and how they interact with the world.

I continue with another one of the featured people on The Real Housewives Of New York aka RHONY, the Countess LuAnn de Lesseps. I will warn you I may slip and call her countless or LuMan, not professional of me but funny at any rate and force of habit.

LuAnn is, in my opinion, a compensatory type narcissist. The compensatory narcissist covers up a deep-seated deficit in self-esteem with grandiose behavior. Bear with me as I illustrate how I came to this conclusion, because it did take me awhile to pinpoint what exactly was going on with Ms. de Lesseps.

One of the most memorable moments to me on RHONY was during the reunion show. At some point the women were all discussing LuAnn and her book about class, making the usual catty comments when suddenly LuAnn bursts into tears and says with utter shock, you don’t think I am a classy woman? The raw emotion and shame she showed has never been seen by LuAnn on RHONY before or since. Her persona as a Countess with class is so important to her that pointing out it might be mere illusion seems to be the only thing that can drive her to tears.

Other than this we do not see much emotion from LuAnn. She maintains a veneer of polite interest and at times enjoys *witty* depreciation of those she considers beneath her. For the most part though we seem to see very superficial displays of emotion from LuAnn. She maintains a demeanor of somehow being above it all, as if emotions are common and not something a Countess should indulge in. She makes plays at empathy towards Jill but she does not seem to genuinely want to help her or anyone else, in fact she is usually adding to any drama in her subtle and passive aggressive way.

LuAnn recently went through quite a life changing event, she divorced. Much of LuAnn’s self-esteem was tied up in her title and her lifestyle. She has lost the lifestyle which makes her cling all the harder to her to her delusions of grandeur. When Ramona’s husband Mario referred to her as *Countless* it was such a personal affront to her that she could not let it go. She talked and talked of it, a one-off remark, as if it were the worst insult someone ever gave to anyone. A definite overreaction.

The event even resulted in the two separate parties that fateful Labor Day weekend. LuAnn would not attend Ramona’s party until Mario called her personally to apologize for the Countless comment. She threw her own party in revenge and tried to steal all Ramona’s guests. At Ramona’s were Bethenny and Alex and at LuMan’s were Kelly and Jill. Thus the season of two teams started, all because of LuAnn’s revenge play.

LuAnn had a memorable conversation with Bethenny in season one where she corrected her introduction of her to a chauffeur, telling Bethenny that she was to be introduced as the Countess de Lesseps and not as LuAnn. I understand she possessed a title but even real royalty seem to be less concerned about the proper usage of their titles. Throughout the seasons this need to be addressed as the Countess continues to come up.

The fact that an American who merely married into a title insists on its usage even after a divorce from the person who bestowed it on her just strikes me as odd. She clings to it like a security blanket. I believe the fantasy she has created of herself (the Countess) is more valuable to her than her actual self (LuAnn de Lesseps). To call herself a Countess at this point seems to be a wee bit of an exaggeration as she was not born to it and is no longer married to a Count. There is insecurity in being merely LuAnn hiding behind her elegant Countess façade.

I also see her insecurity in her relationship with Jill Zarin. Two narcissists but Jill is clearly the alpha dog. LuAnn bows to her advice, needs her for housing in New York, defends her vehemently to others and seems lost at the idea that Bethenny may intrude on this friendship. LuAnn seemed bound and determined to thwart any reconciliation of the two women. She took every chance to point out the ill behaviors and *betrayals* of Bethenny and seemed to egg Jill Zarin’s rage on. She certainly seemed to be right in the middle of everything and was not ever trying to foster any good between them.

LuAnn continues to seek recognition in other ways. She wrote a book called Class With The Countess, attempting to push herself as a royal version of Miss Manners. During this process she took time to mock Alex and Simon’s attempts to write a parenting book. Even though the topics were different, I think she perceived a threat and went on a bit of a mocking passive aggressive type attack. LuAnn will spin it as wit but there was an underlying hostility that was unwarranted.

When the book failed to generate the glory that LuAnn craves she moved on to a singing career. Referring to herself as a female Barry White, she found a fawning producer to create utter dreck with. This career move was as sudden as the book, out of the blue LuAnn magically is a singer. No further training, seemingly no thought or plan. She just rushed headlong into it, seeking immediate gratification. She is not just doing this as a lark either, she has delusions of an actual career as a singer. Typical of a compensatory narcissist.

Judge for yourself though.

Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder presents as a pervasive pattern of unstable, overtly narcissistic behaviors that derive from an underlying sense of insecurity and weakness rather than from genuine feelings of self-confidence and high self-esteem, as indicated by ten (or more) of the following:

  • seeks to create an illusion of superiority and to build up an image of high self-worth
  • has disturbances in the capacity for empathy  
  • strives for recognition and prestige to compensate for the lack of a feeling of self-worth 
  • may acquire a deprecatory attitude in which the achievements of others are ridiculed and degraded
  • has persistent aspirations for glory and status  
  • has a tendency to exaggerate and boast
  • is sensitive to how others react to him or her, watches and listens carefully for critical judgment, and feels slighted by disapproval
  • is prone to feel shamed and humiliated and especially hyper-anxious and vulnerable to the judgments of others
  • covers up a sense of inadequacy and deficiency with pseudo-arrogance and pseudo-grandiosity
  • has a tendency to periodic hypochondria
  • alternates between feelings of emptiness and deadness and states of excitement and excess energy  
  • entertains fantasies of greatness, constantly striving for perfection, genius, or stardom
  • has a history of searching for an idealized partner and has an intense need for affirmation and confirmation in relationships
  • frequently entertains a wishful, exaggerated, and unrealistic concept of himself or herself which he or she can’t possibly measure up to 
  • produces (too quickly) work not up to the level of his or her abilities because of an overwhelmingly strong need for the immediate gratification of success
  • is touchy, quick to take offense at the slightest provocation, continually anticipating attack and danger, reacting with anger and fantasies of revenge when he or she feels frustrated in his or her need for constant admiration
  • is self-conscious, due to a dependence on approval from others
  • suffers regularly from repetitive oscillations of self-esteem
  • seeks to undo feelings of inadequacy by forcing everyone’s attention and admiration upon himself or herself
  • may react with self-contempt and depression to the lack of fulfillment of his or her grandiose expectations

For anyone having navigational issues here are the links to the other discussions on the Housewives of New York:





About angelofdevs

A real life housewife who likes to chatter about the psychological disorders of Bravo reality TV versions of housewives.
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131 Responses to RHONY’s LuAnn de Lesseps – Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder

  1. JMH says:

    I do think your observations are pretty astute, but one missed thing is that she often judges others harshly when not conforming to what she perceives as her version of *class*; yet, she often breaks her own rules. Many times on the show she has shown a lack of class. She holds other to standards she cannot meet herself.

    • Kristy says:

      I absolutely agree she is always holding people to a standard she herself is miles from attaining, also she does this thing that Jill does- she talks but doesn’t listen, like with Alex at sonja’s party, she went over to tell her she disapproved and “who made you god?” then she did that obnoxious laugh and walked away not caring to hear her response.

      That to me is not class it is childish and rude.

    • Jan says:

      I also think LuAnn’s is classless to her kid’s friends. She was teaching a group of her daughter’s friends table manners and mocked a girl for her question then did that awful laugh. The child was so hurt and LuAnn’s daughter seemed hurt too. LuAnn always mentions MONEY$$$ amounts like the apt rent etc etc. I notice she collects donations from the other housewives but you never see what she gave to the charity. When Jill said to her “I wish your CD was out” so Jill could put it in her gift bags for her holiday party. LuAnn said “I CAN’T give it away.” Is LuAnn living the lifestyle of a countess but is not countless. Jill is always talking MONEY$$$ too. My experience is those with REAL MONEY do not bring it up.

  2. AK says:

    Fantastic analysis. But another probable reason that Luann sticks to her title is the branding aspect–most of the ladies on the shows attempt to create a brand, and the Countess is her brand. The funny thing is that they often miscalculate and try branding themselves in the wrong way. Vulgarians might be impressed by a title, but people don’t generally like being talked down to by individuals who are obviously flawed. This is why it’s pretty hard to swallow Jill as the advice expert. Bethenny’s Skinnygirl empire works partially because she’s offering an authentic, down-to-earth product that people can use in their daily lives. Hubris isn’t good for business.

  3. D says:

    Please do Simon Barney and then Tamra Barney. I would love to see what you say about them.

  4. Snowbunny says:

    What is so frustrating about LuAnn for me is how passive aggressive she can be with other women. She’ll saying something absolutely horrible to somebody and then give a boisterous laugh as if she is joking and then repeat the comment in a “no seriously” type of way. Is this related to her narcissistic personality disorder or is it just evidence to her poor character?

  5. Meg says:

    I wonder the source of the disorder criterion (DSM-IVR, etc.?). I do think you are spot on in several of your analyses, although disorders rarely present as the “only” thing that is going on with individuals. Disorders, as you likely know, are often co-occurring. For entertainment and fairly informative pieces are even-handed. Well done.

  6. Kym says:

    I just found your site and love your dispassionate and non-snarky observations. Do you think it’s terribly odd that I’m now really concerned that I may also suffer from Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder?! I look forward to reading more from you about the NY housewives!

    • JRae says:

      Nope, what you’re suffering from is called “Medical Student Syndrome”. In which medical students think they’re suffering from every disorder they learn about it.

      Don’t worry, it’s totally normal, and no you don’t have Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many personality disorders are just amplifications of normal human behavior, amplified to the point where it interferes significantly with the person’s life. And yes, every analysis on here so far I’ve been like “Do I do that? Do I have that?!!” as well. LOL!! 🙂

      • Kym says:

        Whew! Thanks for setting me straight!

        Selfishly, I must ask for NY gals as I don’t watch the other installations (well, I used to do OC, but had my fill of the two alpha dogs over there).

    • dinac says:

      I was just worrying that myself.

  7. Elle says:

    “Referring to herself as a female Barry White, she found a fawning producer to create utter dreck with.”

    Ha! This is probably the most succinct explanation of Luann’s “singing career” that I will ever read. That producer guy was so cheesy, I feel badly for anyone who couldn’t see through his BS.

    I always knew something was utterly wrong with Luann (seeing as that much is obvious), but she never screamed “personality disorder” to me. I always just wrote her off as arrogant and pretentious to a delusional magnitude – but yeah, now that I think about it, I guess there would most likely be something going on under the surface in that case.

    Thank you for a great blog which combines two off my oddball on-the-side interests, The Real Housewives and personality disorders, in a much more educated and interesting way than I would ever come up with. I’m looking forward to reading more. I have to ask though – Off the top of your head, which women (from any franchise) possibly don’t have personality disorders? 😉

    • JMH says:

      Not to mention her voice is so heavily synthesized that you can barely tell a human is singing (a good thing in her case). She also lip synced when she performed on the series- evidenced by her lips not matching the music and stopping before the (so-called) singing ended. She has a terrible voice but her high opinion of herself won’t acknowledge that. What do you think of the over sexualized video for the song?

      • Elle says:

        That video was so… unlike her, I found it odd. But I guess they didn’t know what else to do with her for the vid. It may have all been the idea of the producer. ALOL at all his “you’re a star, baby, you’re a star!” when they were recording the song along with all the d-bag head-bopping to give the impression that he was “feeling the beat.”

      • JRae says:

        My fiance worked with the DP who did her music video. He said none of the crew even knew who the Countess was, and they all referred to her as “The C Word”. LOL!

        I don’t know where the concept came from though. I’ll have to see if my fiance knows…

  8. Mia R. says:

    Wow! This is brilliant stuff. Madam, you have missed your calling. Can’t wait to see your analysis of the participants in next week’s reunion show.

    Reading your analysis has made me realized that having a narcissistic personality disorder seems to be the main requirement to being selected to participate in a reality show, especially on BRAVO, and our interested in them simply empowers and continues to enable them.

  9. Terry says:

    Love this. LuAnn does exhibit these traits. There is a distinction, though. Kelly and Danielle are highly pathological; LuAnn appears more functional and clearly has the ability to adapt. Also, she’s rational.

    Millon would put her closer to the center of the circle, I think.

    Many people don’t like Lunzy, and I get that. Still, her less-than-lovely traits are merely unlikeable, not pathological.

    I’d like to know whether or not you agree.

  10. nanaluvsreality says:

    Once again, spot on and I would have to agree. What also sticks out in my mind about this past season was with LuAnn and her former Nanny/Maid came to visit her and she was asking “Rosie”(I think that’s what her name is) on “How does she thinks she looks now” and “Does she look good after the divorce?” Almost forcing poor Rosie to have to say, “Yes” and I thought then that LuAnn deep down inside whether she admits it or not has some self esteem issues.

    • Elle says:

      The way Luann treated Rosie when Rosie was visiting her in the Hamptons was really indicative of what is wrong with Luann overall. She wanted to tell Rosie that she missed her, but since she sees Rosie as being so beneath her in status, rather then merely being able to express this in a way that acknowledged her appreciation for Rosie as a person, she instead said something like, “Rosie, I miss you! The new housekeeper just doesn’t keep things up around here the way you used too.” She couldn’t bring herself to say “I miss YOU, Rosie, just you,” she had to say “I miss you as a maid, because, you know, you WERE my maid.”

      • Jo Marie says:

        Luann seems to struggle mightily with the concept of class. I remember in a former season she asked Bethany over to teach Rosie to cook a pasta dish. Is this her not so subtle way of trying to force Bethany into a service class? Her choice of Jill as friend and confidant is also puzzling. Jill’s manners are atrocious and her taste is vulgar.

  11. Boxwood says:

    This compensatory narcissism sounds a lot like Jill too! I totally agree with you that Jill is the alpha in the relationship. Which is why I disagree that the two teams were set up by LuAnn’s “revenge” party, only because I see Jill as the real catalyst. If you’re not with her you’re against her which means you’re now the enemy. And if you disagree with her you’re the enemy too. Don’t you think? I’m not a psychologist nor did I ever take a course in psychology so I really am not qualified to weigh in. But Jill strikes me as the one who calls the shots, frames the debate as it were. And for some reason, most of those housewives fall in line right behind her. Except for Alex and Bethanny. I think the relationship worked for Bethanny for a long time because Jill wasn’t threatened by her, therefore Bethanny was safe from Jill’s rage. When Bethanny no longer fell in lock-step with Jill’s requirements, Jill attacked. These are just my observations and ruminations and I could be way off the mark. I’m fascinated at how Ramona has turned herself around – I actually admire her for being able to humble herself, admit when she’s wrong and apologize. I really like Ramona now where before I thought she was just another one of the mean housewives.

    • Suz says:

      I was trying to explain to my boyfriend the other night that Ramona was nutty (we were watching her wedding) but not a mean person. I also don’t want to be snarky, but I’ve become convinced that she is on some kind of medication. As someone who likes her character, do you think I’m completely off-base? She seems more manic and hyperactive than last year. But much nicer than last year, perhaps because she’s around less bad influences.

      Can’t answer your Jill questions though –I’m clueless and can’t wait for an analysis on here!

      • Kym says:

        I’m also one of the few that has always liked Ramona. I feel she suffers from “foot in mouth,” and suppose I can relate to that (’nuff said). Her energy is “odd,” to be sure, but I don’t feel she intends to hurt people. Jill kinda set the bar in the first season after Luann came over to tell Jill that she just left a small dinner party at Ramona’s. That’s when I realized Luann was a gal who likes to stir the pot, and Jill’s response to the lack of invite to the event? “this is war.” Another mean thing Jill did to Ramona, just for entertainment, was procure Simon as her tennis partner for their famous doubles match. At the time, Ramona REALLY had an aversion to Simon. However, Jill doesn’t get all the blame for this as I believe it was actually Bethanny’s idea. The two of them together kinda bullied people as I recall. Whereas, with Jill and Luann, the dynamic seems to be about Luann defending Jill and bullying people who don’t show the “appropriate” reverence for Jill (and I think, actually, for herself).

    • Katie C says:


      They say that the bottom often controls in a top/bottom relationship. I’d have to agree that LuAnn was the one to orchestrate the division.

      • Kym says:

        Do you mean to say that Luaan actually controls Jill? I don’t see it. I think the only person Jill actually “hears” is her husband, Bobby. All other voices (except for Bethanny’s at this point because she’s so pissed off that she’s not a part of all of Bethanny’s joy), are just white noise.

      • It looks to me that they just egg each other on….’Oh, she said THAT, so that must mean I can say/do THIS…I was just looking for an opening/reason to’.
        I have to agree with Kym about Jill being pissed off. With her holding her grudge so long about Bethenny, she totally ‘missed out’ on all the sharing of Bethenny’s life happenings/changes. Jill looked like she was Enjoying being the Controlling One in not letting Bethenny explain or make-up. I think she thought she was just ‘adding to the drama’ of the show and sometime soon they would make up and things would be back to normal. Well, LIFE happened and left Jill behind.

    • Ivanna says:

      I think Luann was ready to let Mario’s comment pass, except Jill interpreted his phone message as “Bring it on bitch” to keep Luann away from Ramona who is also an alpha dog that Jill can’t control.

  12. Lauren says:

    Where did you pull the 10 criteria from? They don’t match up with the DSM-IV-TR diagnosis.

    Either way, love you!

  13. A Noun says:

    Perhaps I’m the only one who’s noticed how LuAnn has been wearing more and more Native American jewelry this season. Is this her way of getting back with her heritage, or is it her way of once again setting herself apart by re-identifying with this cultural group?

    • pamb says:

      Hi, I noticed that, too! I hope Andy Cohen will bring it up at the reunion. I know that LuAnn has mentioned that she has a Native American backround, but I don’t think she has gone into any detail about it. She definately wasn’t wearing ‘ethnic’ jewelry last season, and if you’ll notice, only wears it in the confessional scenes, not in the regular ones.

  14. Lorill says:

    Thank you for dissecting these housewives in a very professional manner. Love it! Since psychology was not my field of study/vocation, I find this fascinating and look forward to more of your posts. Could you comment on the change/renewal of Ramona and the shift in Alex this season?

  15. KatieC says:

    You are cracking me up – I love this website! And while cracking me up, you’re also saying some pretty intelligent things. Well done! Wondering if you could look into Ramona…methinks there’s something seriously wrong going on behind those crazy eyes.

    I’ll check back with your site after I’ve made my appointment to have myself evaluated for Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder… 🙂

  16. kelsuretweets says:

    Bravo, darling!

  17. Terry says:

    Kudos! I saw your posting reprinted on Gawker. Good for you!

  18. NurseT says:

    Wow! This blog is awesome! PLEASE keep it up. I’d love to know what you think of Gretchen & Lynne from OC! Especially Lynne… her relationship with/to her daughters is… interesting?!?!

    • Bonnie says:

      If ever there was one who suffers from Narcissitic Personality Disorder, it would be Lynn Curtin. I’ll let Angel do the analysis, though.

  19. elle V says:

    I agree with many but I think her countess schtick and the rest of her bs comes from insecurity. She seems very in control of herself unlike the rest you have diagnosed, would she still be considered to have a personality disorder? personality defect, yes, but personality disorder I’m not sure (but I’m no doctor/student of psychology) Even though she acts like JillZ’s new ginger, she often comes out trying to be sensible. I.e; when she called out Kelly for the hobag comment and she zipped-it for Sonja when Sonja showed frustration. Her insecurity comes through by her always approval seeking behavior i.e; asking casually about what was said about her during the luncheon w/Kelly Jill and Jen, she saids”Were they talking about me? *laugh* don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know *laugh*” She laughs mainly because she wants to give lighter air to the often harsh remarks/awkward comments but it’s not working and that’s what rubs the viewers the wrong way IMO but it all seems to stem from her own insecurity and other than that, she seems like a capable indvdl unlike the other women you’ve diagnosed (and which I completely agree with)

    But I could be wrong, in any case, I love reading your blog and it’s high level entertainment to say the least, great job!

    • Catnapper says:

      I am no expert but believe Luann is desperate in her behaviors. She seems to be holding it together by a thread and I think she walks a fine line between civility and a full-blown rage attack. I think she senses that people would be turned off completely if she goes too far. How do you get to someone like Luann? Is there any way to get her to show her true-evil self? She exudes contempt for most humans and barely keeps those feelings under check. I’m not sure why it matters to me but I want her to be exposed.

      • Madame Rouge says:

        I am no expert either, but I am confident that I understand what I see. I feel like LuAnn has ‘exposed’ herself thoroughly. Actually, all of the RHONY are exposed. They are holding it together –their friendships– ONLY because it advances their own agendas, which is to keep the show afloat and to figure out a way to make money/fame from the show. Bethany did it and they want it too. Every single one of them has been utterly ridiculous during this season. Can’t wait for the Reunion. Kelly telling Alex she was behaving in an abnormal manner [Moronico] had me rolling on the floor! Kelly has obviously had some very intense coaching before/during the season about how to ‘act.’
        Not one single RHONY is truly interested in ‘friendship.’ Since the subject here is LuAnn, I will say that she is super-frustrated by her lack of avibity to CONTROL her friends. She really, really wants to control everyone and every situation. She thinks she should be able to CONTROL everyone, everywhere, every single time they are together. She is in serious denial if she is able to view these shows and not be incredibly embarrassed by her own actions. What a piece of work she is!!!!!

      • Caitlin says:

        I “feel” you, Catnapper. about the exposure of Luann. And, happily, I think she is doing that very thing to herself this season. Whatever mad genius at Bravo allowed her to “hostess” (and I use that word advisedly) the trip to Morocco may have wanted to give her just enough rope to hang herself. Intended or not, it seems to be working, no? I’d rather stay home for the rest of my life than even go to the corner for a cup of coffee with that broad! She gets viler and viler as the weeks tick by. Bethenny was right when she called her a snake – but then, Bethenny was right about so many things, and this show is just floundering without her.

  20. Love, love, LOVE this site. It makes watching the ‘girls’ much more interesting and understandable. Straight-on, JMH & Kristy…remember when they were at some function (so far back I have forgotten what) and Luann was saying people should “Be quiet”, then proceeded to speak to the girls while someone was speaking on the mike?
    That was pretty blatant ‘going against her own rules’.
    Got to say, sometimes it for-all-the-world looks like ‘they’ have been given a ‘signal’ to go ahead and do/say something ‘off the wall’ or to ‘start something’.
    One thing that Drives Me Insane is when one will Walk Away when another is trying to speak to them. THAT is RUDE and I would be very tempted to find myself in FRONT of them, blocking their way, or grabbing an arm. Too, TOO RUDE.
    Keep up the good work, angelofdevs, you are developing quite the following and we all appreciate your good work.
    (wonder if you will ever be invited to “Watch What Happens Live” ????!!!!!!)

  21. pamb says:

    I love your site, but have to say that I thought it was tacky of you to call LuAnn ‘LuMan’. It wasn’t necessary, and put a bad taste in my mouth.

    • angelofdevs says:

      I am sorry if I offended people with my humor, believe me I have more than gotten the message from the posters on Jezebel. I do write these blogs mostly for my own enjoyment so I did probably get carried away. I guess as someone who does not have to deal with gender identity issues on a regular basis in my own personal life, I was shortsighted as to how my offhand attempt at humor would make others feel.

      There are no excuses for it though and for anyone who was upset by it I sincerely apologize. I am not going to edit it because it is already out there and I own what I say but I will try to be more sensitive in the future. Know that I have nothing but respect for people of all genders, orientations and identities.

      • Kristy says:

        idk i think this is your blog you are clearly very intelligent and compared to some other websites i’ve visited are pretty restrained when it comes to crude remarks about the ladies i don’t think the dig distracted from the rest of the entry.

  22. Galia says:

    Hi, love your fun, spot-on analyses of these women. Just wanted to point out that while many people think LuAnn wanted the driver to call her “Countess,” it was actually that she preferred to be called “Mrs. de Lesseps,” and not “LuAnn,” as she had been introduced by Bethenny. She explained that she has Rosie call her “Mrs. D.” and that “it’s like with children,” meaning how children are often instructed to address adults by “Mr.” or “Mrs.” Still condescending to be sure, especially as the driver is an adult, not a child, and she has her kids call the adult Rosie, “Rosie.”

    Obviously there is still a classist attitude that she wants to maintain–if she had her kids call Rosie “Miss, or Mrs. Whatever-her-family-name-is” her argument would be more consistent, so I don’t argue against this as an instance of snobbish behavior, but it was not an example of her desperately clinging to her irrelevant title of Countess.

    In the infamous girls’ night episode at Ramona’s following the driver incident, Bethenny haltingly introduced LuAnn to a woman named Marta, (who was helping in the kitchen that night or who worked for Ramona, I am not sure) as “Mrs…Mrs. deLesseps,” evoking laughter from LuAnn, who then extended her hand to shake Marta’s and said, “Nice to meet you Marta.” Again, Marta is an adult, not a child, but by LuAnn’s standards of formality with “the help” she finds it appropriate to be addressed formally while she addresses household staff by their first names. I would have loved it if Marta had answered, “Nice to meet you too, Mrs. de Lesseps, but I would prefer to be called “Mrs. So-and-So.” That would have been great!

  23. Galia says:

    Just wanted to add that just because I don’t see this particular brand of snobbishness as an example of her clinging to her title, that doesn’t mean she still doesn’t do so, just in other ways. And as someone above mentioned, it could be branding thing for her in addition to an identity issue.

    Love this blog, thanks for the great entries!

  24. Lex says:

    Really enlightening entry once again. Compared to Kelly and Jill, I think LuAnn is easier to be around, but she does have her insufferable aristocratic moments- the incident with the driver, or even just inviting her bonehead producer to call her by her regular first name- contrary to what she thinks, “Please, call me LuAnn” isn’t really an honor from an aristocratic divorcee.

    I laughed at the LuMan jokes.

    I can’t wait to see who you cover next- Teresa Giuduce would be a terrific subject, especially now that she’s got some reported bankruptcy woes. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/deadbeat_reality_8f3qwDPV2oY8s9N51fL82I

  25. Rania says:

    Love your analysis. These add a very interesting depth to the women, and I think you’re scarily accurate. When I read the following characteristic about LuAnn’s disorder, it reminded me of something:

    “may acquire a deprecatory attitude in which the achievements of others are ridiculed and degraded”

    Remember when Bethenny told LuAnn about being on the cover of that magazine? One of the first things LuAnn asks is if they will do any retouching, a clearly offensive question. It was obvious to me from the look on her face when Bethenny told her that she was immediately jealous and NOT happy for her. She quickly degraded B’s achievement.

    • Secretly Addicted says:

      Who can forget that? I know it seemed like a small thing, but that was another example of her jealous, catty nature.

      When she goes on about how much “class” and “elegance: she has, I can’t help making an analogy to what Margaret Thatcher once said about power. “It’s like being a lady. If you have to tell people that you are one, then you’re not.”

    • Bonnie says:

      I thought that also was a major give-away that LuAnn was either jealous of Bethenny or insecure with herself.
      As it turned out, we were not privy to the trouble she was having in her marriage. That CAN throw even the nicest of women into a frenzy of jealousy, etc.
      I was turned off of LuAnn after that Bethenny comment in her first season, but am actually getting to like her more as time goes on. I like her confidence in herself and feel that she has emerged from this whole traumatic divorce a better person. I don’t think that she is mean-spirited like Jill or insane like Kelly. I actually think she is a very nice person.

  26. Char12 says:

    Love your analysis and think you described Luann exactly. She throws in her digs and then laughs like she’s trying to make it look like she’s joking when she really isn’t. Bethanny saw that right away.

    Keep up the good work!

  27. Tara says:

    I just stumbled upon your blog and I wanted to pay compliment to such creative posting. Your analysis is thorough and accurate. I look forward to reading more.

  28. Jo Marie says:

    What can you tell us about Ramona? She is a lovely woman who is capable of maintaining career, relationships and parenthood and yet has had some very bizarre moments.

  29. Erin says:

    Love your analysis! Spot on.
    I am thinking that it might be beneficial to somehow rate/or give some sort of brief overview on the seriousness of the diagnosis. For example, Lu Ann’s (to me) doesn’t seem nearly as bad of a “case” as Kelly or Danielle’s! 🙂

  30. I love your insightful perspective on these cray cray women!
    As I’m sure Bravo loves too….Hi Bravo research department


    LuMan, ManMan (what my friends and I call NeNe), Kelly and all the others truly personify Bravo’s brand: broad, brash personalities that REPEL yet connect when being socially inappropriate.

  31. janet says:

    love you insite!
    as for luann’s native american jewelry, i believe she has said to be from conneticut but i don’t believe that there is any turquoise in conneticut. so why the southwestern look?

  32. JMH says:

    The jewelry is because she declares herself to be *part american native*. She wears it when she wants to belabor that point.

  33. Amanda says:

    I absolutely love your blog and I agree with the majority of your analysis. One thing to point out though is that your analysis is based entirely on the completed episodes. I wonder how they would change if all the footage were to be seen. I believe the producers at Bravo are very capable of creating “characters” through editing and sound bites. Each city of RH’s has very similar characters, for example, Ramona and Vicki remind me of each other in that they are both very controlling and obsessive over their careers. This season, Ramona seemed obsessive over her “renewal.” I just wanted to point out that no matter how fun it is to watch and examine these ladies, Bravo has a mission when producing this show, and sets up most of the situations we are watching in each episode. Anyhow, there’s my 2 cents, take it or leave it.

    • Kym says:

      That’s an odd observation. Vicki is certainly all about two things, work and her kids (I feel for her husband). But Ramona doesn’t seem to be any more into her career than Bethanny. I’m sure Alex also cares about her career, but she has a job that doesn’t depend on QVC or a national publicity campaign. Of course, I can’t compare her to Jill, Luann or Kelly because they don’t actually have careers in any meaningful sense. I think if there are actually archetypes that the producers intentionally cast Vicki and Jill would be more closely aligned as both see themselves as the “ringleaders,” expect a certain amount of “respect” from the others, and really get their hair up when someone else does well.

    • angelofdevs says:

      I agree that my observations can only be based on what I see. I also agree that Bravo deliberately tries to cause situations for dramatic reactions from the housewife participants. I don’t think that necessarily excuses the behaviors we see, nor do I think it means they are not genuine behavioral issues for these women. We all react to stress differently but we always need to own our behavior, no matter what the circumstances that led to it.

      • Secretly Addicted says:

        I think you’re completely right. I’m sure that Bravo does lots of research about the reputation and “word on the street” about everyone they consider casting. I’m sure that LuAnn was known in Manhattan circles as an imperious gas-bag. Kelly they knew was a lunatic. Jill they knew was mean. Bethanny they knew was a smart-ass. Ramona they knew was a loose cannon. And Alex, well, she’s changed for the better since season 1, but they knew that she was a pretentious social-climber when they cast her. With a mix of personalities like that, no one can be that surprised at the fights that ensued.

  34. meow says:

    love your blog! so interesting. if i think too deeply about it though, it seems like everyone could have some type of personality disorder…i understand that each person has their own issues, and if those issues are analyzed for long enough something could come up. i am absolutely not questioning or doubting anybodys opinion on the housewives psychological conditions (especially not yours, angelofdevs), as i feel that the majority of reality tv stars are in a mental state far from the standard society holds as “healthy”. the reason i wonder if most people could be diagnosed with a personality disorder is because i can see certain traits of those disorders in each of my friends (complete armchair psychologist here, my only mental health experience is from college courses, googling, and my own issues). but is that just me looking too closely? i havent checked any kind of statistics yet, but id be interested to hear an actual mental health professionals (or anybody with any kind of mental health experience – personal or professional) opinion on whether you think people are too quick to diagnose themselves with a problem, if these types of disorders are increasing because people are becoming more aware, or if there are environmental/hereditary/whatever factors triggering the disorders, etc. etc. love to know what any of you think. cant wait to read more!

    • Vicky says:

      I think you make a good point. We all may have tendencies or traits of these larger disorders in smaller degrees but these particular women do have extreme personalities. I agree with our Blogger that some are full blown narcissists, obsessive compulsives and at least one is anti social. I do not know what the percentages are in the population that actually fall into the criteria of these personality disorders and I do not think we would find enough traits in most of the people in our lives but we would find them in some. Its a matter of having at least a certain number of listed traits. You’re right that we do all have our “issues” but the diagnostic codes are specific. As whacked out as the communications were with these women this season, I have very little difficulty making the leap to at least a few of them having personality disorders.

  35. Secretly Addicted says:

    I completely agree with this assessment of LuAnn. From the first season, I knew that something was “off” about her. When she was ordering a pizza delivery over the phone, she had to let the person know that they were speaking to a countess. I found that very telling. Why would a kid taking an order in a pizzeria care that there was a countess on the phone? Very strange.

    • angelofdevs says:

      Oh my goodness, I had forgotten that scene. Classic!

      • Secretly Addicted says:

        Yes, and remember how she went ape-s*** crazy at that charity event that she claimed was “honoring” her that night? She had to get up and take the stage to scold a room full of adults to pay attention. Who on earth does that?

        I think that in HER head, everyone was there to pay homage to her, and the reality was that no one cared.

    • Caitlin says:

      I am so sorry I haven’t seen that episode – what a classic! What snapped my head back was how arrogant and rude The Countess was to Bethenny on the first episode of the season. B. had asked to meet her for a drink, and L. made her drive almost 2 hours so that it could be convenient for her. Then, when Bethenny finally arrives, hot and exhausted, LuAnn demands to be reassured that Bethenny will be picking up the check for both of them. Apparently in “Countess World” if two friends decide to do something together, the friend who brought up the idea picks up the tab — huh??? Also, thank you for pointing out LuAnn’s passive aggressive tendencies, that maladaptive pattern of behavior guaranteed to make every single situation just as miserable as it can possibly be. Please keep up this blog, as it is the only thing I have found that makes sense of this infuriating batch of “personalities.” Love it!

      • onvacation says:

        OMG I just wrote about this….I didn’t see your comment! It was horrible to watch that episode – LuAnn was so ungracious and after all, it was her territory. I doubt she would have treated one of her fancier friends so rudely.

  36. Jan says:

    LuAnn does not correct Jill for her cursing , complaining, and being LOUDLY critical at social events. She also does not stand up to Sonja. LuAnn sings MONEY CAN’T BUY YOU CLASS but she overlooks the lack of class with her friends with MONEY. LuAnn puts down all the other housewives and clearly could not handle Mario saying the truth. LuAnn is countLESS now. LuAnn ruined several social events that could have been fun by bringing up the Mario incident. LuAnn created the 2 teams on Labor Day and sat back & stirred the fire via Jill every time the fighting started to cool down. I hope LuAnn is called on it at the reunion. She seems to get away with her bad behavior every season.

  37. Jan says:

    I think LuAnn and Bethenny could have been friends if LuAnn had not attached herself to Jill. Bethenny had a blast teaching LuAnn’s housekeeper to cook and LuAnn enjoyed teaching Bethenny to walk like a model. Bethenny never judged LuAnn and seemed to ignore her Countess title. It was LuAnn that made rude comments to Bethenny and behind Bethenny’s back. I guess Bethenny being a self made woman was beneath LuAnn as clearly Bethenny speaking her mind could not be it as LuAnn allows Jill to speak her mind.

  38. rich says:

    I used to not like Alex very much, but now that she’s on Bethanny’s team, along with Ramona, I like her. Here’s one team I would not want to be on: LuAnn, Jill and Crazy Kelly. In fact, Jill herself doesn’t even want to be on that team. LuAnn is so creepy the way she kept kissing her new stud. If she had any REAL class, she woud not have exposed me to that. “Money can’t buy you class,” I’m thinking, she has neither.

  39. Jo Marie says:

    I am so loving this site. I return to all the postings to read the discussion as well as appreciating the original analysis. Please continue!

  40. Kimberly says:

    Thank you for this great site, I just found it today. Regarding LouAnn, the things that I find comical about her are that she accepts invitations to lunch from Bethenny and then lays into her about some grievence she has with her. She accepts Ramona’s yacht invitation and then lays into her about Mario and his comment. I’m no countess, but it seems to me she should address her issues first and after the air is cleared (or not) then you can do the social scene together. Her kids, cute as they are, eat with their mouths open. Also, I am so sick and tired of rich people trying to act European. If it’s so great over in France, then why are you in NYC.

  41. Karen Lee says:

    she stuttered as she tried to lie about the counts hatred of jews and to a jew, Andy Cohen. He clearly saw through it.

  42. Vicky says:

    All of these are amazing to read. I’ve been sick the past two weeks and have spent more time than usual sucked into this whole reunion drama to the point I feel that I might have a personality disorder. In any event, with some of the women the characterizations are clear but I wondered about Luann. I think you got it right. I also feel that we are engrossed by these women because they are a reflection of people we know in our own lives. Fortunately we don’t all have Danielle’s running around but I for one know quite a few narcissists and Ocd’s. What I find interesting in your analysis of the RHNY is that it makes sense in how the conflicts played out based on their personality disorders. I don’t think there was any other way because they are such extreme examples of these categories. Also, when we watch their true colors come through the consensus is we are either liking them or are completely turned off. Its interesting that for a few seasons Jill looked like the nurturer, the hero of the group but hmmmm, not really. She’s a bully and quite manipulative. That’s not to say that I don’t feel a tad manipulated by Alex. I couldn’t stand her the first season – all that cloying to be invited to the party. I’m not sure if she’s had epiphanies and grown since she lost her job and has embraced a simpler life and motherhood or if she has simply been positioning herself. I think I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt though – she really got bamboozled by Jill. Jill: a legend in her own mind.
    You have a few great Freudian typos by the way. In one sentence you refer to LuAnn as LuMan. In your Danielle post you refer to a conversation as conversion…. your sub conscience is writing for you!

  43. Lex says:

    Now that I’ve sat through all 17 parts of this season’s reunion, I have to admit that I like LuAnn more- she seemed really, really genuine while talking about her divorce and I like how she handled her the questions of her marriage. I’m not going to buy her single (cheesy tunes are still cheesy, even when “celebrity”-driven), but I like her for trying to make Kelly accountable.

  44. JMH says:

    You could tell Luann did not want to be on the couch with the crazy and the Zarin; her body language in leaning away from them was pretty telling. While I still think she’s a pretentious snob, she is a lot more normal than either of those 2.

    • onvacation says:

      I just found this. Pretty good one……:

      Class is considerate of others. It knows that good manners are nothing more than a series of small sacrifices.

      Class bespeaks an aristocracy that has nothing to do with ancestors or money. The most affluent blueblood can be totally without class while the descendant of a Welsh miner may ooze class from every pore.

      Class never tries to build itself up by tearing others down. Class is already up and need not strive to look better by making others look worse.

      Class can “walk with kings and keep its virtue and talk with crowds and keep the common touch.” Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because he is comfortable with himself.

      If you have class you don’t need much of anything else. If you don’t have it, no matter what else you have, it doesn’t make much difference.

      Ann Landers Encyclopedia

  45. kana says:

    thx for sharing………

  46. Jan says:

    I like LuAnn more after the 3rd reunion show. Before her heartfelt admission regarding her divorce, I believed she was a self centered heartless person. I wish a viewer had asked her why she fueled the fires of the arguments. LuAnn got away with saying she tried to stay out of them but “was dragged in”. That was a lie. LuAnn drove Jill away from Bethenny many times and attacked Alex regarding Jill. That is NOT being “dragged in”. LuAnn even told Jill to LIE and says she was alone when Bethenny called. I do not buy LuAnn’s statement that she is an honest person. I think LuAnn may be living above her means thus the book and the now a CD to earn money. Also when LuAnn’s kids got lice she called Jill and said she did not know what to do. LuAnn was a NURSE. I cannot believe LuAnn had not heard of lice before.

  47. CoCo says:

    To me, LuAnn is the most obvious of all the housewives – not that she would think so.
    The title is important because in her mind it gives her a superiority that she was not accustomed to nor truly earned. Therefore, she maintains her air of class and feels it is her duty to critic all those around her. She has an overwhelming need to be important and recognized for her grandness and feels she is worthy to be the object of every conversation and thought that another person might have – i.e., she asked if Bethenny was at Ramona’s to talk to her and not Jill or ask what was said about her when nothing was. She just is not that important in other’s lives. She lies, she lectures, she pontificates. she stirs and she laughs. She “sings” a song that basically makes fun of herself. At the reunions she has started to distance herself from Jill and especially Kelly because she sees that the tide has turned with the viewers and she must be careful of her image. She is a snob, quite heartless at times and extremely insecure. Deep down she knows she is a phony and must have constant reinforcement to keep the charade intact. Having said all this, I do believe she could be a really real and good person if she ever had the courage to drop all the pretending and go back to being the wholesome person I think she once was. Maybe next season we will see a forward move or two towards that. And, yes, I can only hope she will finally teach her children to chew with their mouths closed!

    • Not a Countess Fan says:

      Coco, I agree Luann is an insecure, phony, pretentious snob. I don’t think she intended to make fun of herself in the song. I think she believes she has class and has learned elegance but others have not. She told a reporter that some of her castmates might not like the song because they will recognize themselves in it. She may have been meaning it as a slam towards Bethenny, Alex and Ramona.

      I didn’t watch the first season but from I find it humorous that an American model who marries a European count thinks that inheriting the title of Countess qualifies her as an expert on class, etiquette and elegance. She even speaks with a European accent. She reminds me of these models, strippers, prostitutes and hostesses who marry rich men and then think that makes them high class and superior to all the commoners who don’t live in mansions, drive a Mercedes Benz, get fake boobs, nose jobs, tummy tucks, Botox, furs, and have maids, nannies and butlers. They are still the insecure lower class bimbo they always were.

      I think it is pathetic the way The Countess hangs onto that title as if it is a life line to keep her from drowning. I imagine she will be lost if the count remarries and she is forced to give up her title. She is smart to cash in on the title now. Without it, she wouldn’t be on the RHONY, she would never have been able to sell a book or make a record because she has no charm and no talent whatsoever. However, now she is a celebrity and nobody seems to care if she has talent.

      Money may not have bought Luann class but it did buy her a record career. There are millions of talented singers who cannot get a record contract and she chirps out the words: “Money can’t buy you class. Elegance is learned” over and over and she gets a record contract. The sad thing is she thinks she really can sing and believes she is going to win a Grammy and make platinum and gold records. The record producer who said she reminded him of a younger Madonna was lying to get on national TV.

      • Not a Countess Fan says:

        Sorry this sentence should read: I didn’t watch the first season but from what I’ve seen in the second and third season, I find it humorous that an American model who marries a European count thinks that inheriting the title of Countess qualifies her as an expert on class, etiquette and elegance. She even speaks with a European accent.

    • Catnapper says:

      I think you nailed Luann perfectly. I will add that I observed a “meaness” about her that showed through, though I doubt she wanted it to. She seemed to take a malicious delight in others discomfort and pushed them to squirm. She doesn’t strike me as having a conscious. I believe she could be treacherous to someone given the right circumstances. Her extreme identification with the countess thing is also disturbing. She demands of others to believe that she was born to it. She acquired the title only through marriage and should rid of it as a divorcee. She has successfully FOOLED herself. Luann is not what she appears to be for the most part.

  48. eve says:

    Thank you so much for explaining all the quirks that we see as we follow the reality tv show of the RHONY. I see the show but am puzzled as to why these folks behave the way they do but your analysis helps so much in making sense of their behaviors both odd and what appears normal. Please continue helping us understand what we are seeing. You are such a helpful lady!

  49. Jan says:

    LuAnn says she is Jill’s friend but on tonight’s show. LUANN was quick to put down Jill for putting her speaker on the cell phone and the caller not knowing others are listening. BOTH times LuAnn encouraged Jill to do this. LuAnn even told Jill to LIE to Bethenny when she was speaking to Bethenny on the speaker cell phone with LuAnn listening. LuAnn is not a friend to anyone. When asked what she would be doing. HER CD and singing came first, then her new boyfriend, THEN Third she said her kids. Lu Ann is quick to DEMAND apologies from the others wives but NEVER says she is sorry or even owns up to her own wrong doings.

    • I agree with you completely, Jan. No one seems to ‘call her’ on her “un-class-like” behavior either and this is disappointing, since Every One else seems to get ‘called out’ on theirs.

      • Catnapper says:

        Can anyone explain why on the Bravo Blog there are so many positive comments regarding Luann? These characters have an opportunity to really see themselves but seem to get further entrenched in their delusions about self. No one seems to display the ability for self-awareness. Any guesses?

    • onvacation says:

      Exactly….awhile back LuAnn was excruciatingly rude to Bethenny when they met for drinks in the Hamptons. The whole episode was uncomfortable to watch. LuAnn was being a real hairpin despite the fact that Bethenny had driven 1.5 hours on a holiday weekend to meet her for a drink. LuAnn was in a prickly argumentative mood – she definitely should have apologized later on.

  50. Jo Marie says:

    I wonder if the insecurity Luann displays is the result of suffering through a marriage to a truly deluded snob.

  51. Caitlin says:

    They are re-running episodes from the first season as I write this. It’s funny, but knowing what we know now about LuAnn and Jill, we could have picked up clues to future behavior had we looked for them from the get-go. The Countess is so invested in her “Countess-ness” and, it seems, always has been. Wasn’t this country founded by folks who were sick and tired of deferring to royalty? Had she been born to the title, it wouldn’t seem nearly as silly. They say that power is the ultimate aphrodesiac, but, for folks like LuAnn (and Jill too?) trumped-up so-called nobility seems to be the ne plus ultra.

    • amateur RH says:

      I had already watched the 3 Reunion shows and deleted them before I found this blog, so I decided to set my Tivo to re-record them. Amongst the group I also got the first 2 episodes of RHONY, titled, ‘Meet the Housewives’ and ‘The Hamptons.’ In them Jill gets very upset that Ramona did not invite her to a cooking party but did invite LuAnn. Jill proclaims several times that Ramona made a big misktake by dissing her in this way and that she will get her revenge. Another scene shows Jill and LuAnn going somewhere together in Jill’s ‘new yellow Ferrari,’ a quote by Jill. Already she was making sure everyone knows how much $ she has.
      It WAS very interesting to see these shows again, from a different perspective [that of knowing much more about these women and how they act.]
      Caitlin is dead on — you can see the signs in these first 2 shows.

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  55. stephanie says:

    Not to be super picky but nobility and royalty aren’t the same thing. Having said that, her title is completely unofficial because it’s French and France doesn’t officially recognize nobility titles (acc. to wiki).

    I think LuAnn does cling to her title though, like a security blanket. I also agree that she enjoys the status of it. I thought she said in the reunion that she can keep her title until her ex marries again. I don’t know what I would do in that situation. Not to be un-American but I might keep it for a while just because I feel like it. It’s my damned marriage! It’s like when divorced women feel when it’s comfortable to remove their wedding rings or change their names back to their maiden names if they choose to do so.

    I think her voice is the worst affectation or put-on, and I find it more irritating than her maybe/maybe-not “title.”

    Also you have to question the class of anyone who releases a single about what makes for classiness.


    There’s no excuse for making music that bad. *LOL*

    PS. I don’t see why everyone’s got their bowels in an uproar over the LuMan comment. It’s a joke. Whatev. She’s got a voice deeper than a lot of men’s so nicknames stick. Oh well.

  56. Not a Countess Fan says:

    I think reading the news on the Internet about the housewives is more fun than watching the show. I just read that LuAnn, like Danielle, has gone bi-sexual to get attention. She was spotted in a night club kissing a woman for most of the evening.

    It’s interesting that LuAnn sings her recorded song on Andy Cohen’s show and then shortly after that Danielle sings a duet she has recorded with the Lesbian singer, writer, producer Lori Michaels. When Andy asked Danielle and Lori if they were a couple, Danielle said they weren’t saying right now. Celebrity photographers took pictures of Danielle and Lori hugging at a movie premiere and night club. When asked by reporters if she was in a same sex romance with Lori, Danielle said, “The pictures tell the story.” Some reporters and bloggers speculated that Danielle was just pretending to have a bisexual affair to get publicity.

    Is LuAnn pretending to have an affair to keep her name in the news to sell more records now RHONY is on hiatus?

    • Caitlin says:

      Ooooooo, that sounds dicey, indeed! You are so right in that the real truth about “the girls” is so much more interesting than what is packaged as “the show.” Gotta run and Google Her Highness now to see what else I can learn! And btw, that “LuMan” monicker may have been apocryphal. (And I never thought it was untoward to begin with!)

    • angelofdevs says:

      I think it could all be for attention. I have no problem at all with women being bisexual or homosexual but it irks me when women experiment strictly in order to garner interest with the public. Oddly these all seem to be housewives trying to shill records too, coincidence? If they are discovering their true selves, wonderful. Somehow I doubt it though.

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  59. Samuel Bronkowitz says:

    Please do an analysis of the Salahis. We would love it!!

  60. junieb says:

    I enjoy watching ‘the Countess’ and noting all her grammatical errors and other social mistakes. It’s too funny! She tries so hard to be upper class, and lacks the upbringing to pull it off.

  61. Lala says:

    i love this blog. I think Luann should remember where she came from. She was not born countess. She has no class, she is rude and arrogant. Someone must point it to her. Thanks.

  62. Emily H says:

    Wow…..I din’t even get through half of it (super busy w/ a 2 year old) and you have NAILED it!!! She doesn’t realize that she comes across as very insecure. She is a total hypocrite too. People who have class live by example. She thinks constantly PROFESSING that she is classy means it’s true. She is pedantic and didactic. She is intrusive and abrasive w/ her message of class. I started off liking her the most, but I see through it all now. What’s even more pathetic than Luann’s bravado is my interest in the show. Why am i so addicted?

  63. Carolyn says:

    I just found this web page so am late in commenting and the topic may have already been brought up but have not been able to read all the comments thus far but want to put in my 2 cents worth. I know that LuAnn was an LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse) and I also went from being an LPN, that required 13 months of schooling, to an RN with a BSN degree, and finally receiving my Doctorate in Nursing and teaching at the University level. Not bragging, but tying this in with my comment. In some states only 12 months was required to become an LPN and in a lot of cases some of the RN’s were very nasty to the LPN’s, trying to make them feel less than a nurse. Some called them Little Pretend Nurses. I wonder sometimes if LuAnn was treated that way, and this is one of the reason she now feels this need to lord her *title* over people and in a way making herself feel good inside because this takes away the pain and humiliation she felt at the hands of those who had *titles* greater than her *title* when she was working under them? Also, you mention the book she wrote. I do believe I read somewhere she confessed, well actually broke down during an interview with someone and admittted she, in fact, did not write the book, but that her reseacher/assistant wrote it. So much for being an author. She just needs to admit she is a girl from a large working class family in the Northeast and let it go at that.

    • Caitlin says:

      I enjoyed your comments about pecking order in the nursing world. And I wish it were that simple. If we have two choices about how so-called ladies like LuAnn come to be the way they are, my life experience tells me it is nature rather than nurture. I have seen women like this just pop up out of the middle of the most down-to-earth families. And I have seen many of those family members be just as clueless over the narcissist’s behavior as outsiders often are. Isn’t it curious that we haven’t seen any mention of LuAnn’s family of origin outside of her mother? And, even then (if memory serves) Mom wasn’t allowed to utter one syllable. Where are LuAnn’s siblings, anyway? And wouldn’t we all love to hear what they think of her and her lah-de-dah behavior?

      • Emily H says:

        very insightful.

      • Carolyn says:

        Another thing I noticed about LuAnn was the time on the trip when they were all going to tell one thing about themselves and she mentioned she was from a large family. That was it! Just a large family. It was a perfect opportunity for her to say she was part Native American, something I personally think I would have been prouder to tell people about than I had been married to some Count from France and I was dumped for some Etophian princess who was young enough to be my daughter. LuAnn is part Algonquin Indian, a fact I would imagine would make her most proud. I know I would be very proud to have Native American heritage. I don’t understand her need to wear the gaudy jewelery tho…..it is more southwestern tourist trade type stuff churned out in some factory in China. She is a very strange person. Is is as if she only wants the public (or *her* public, hahha) to know a bit about herbut she forgets about Google and the many ways there are to find out tidbits. I was amazed at how she acted on the trip to Morocco. Maybe I was wrong but was she in fact the one in charge? I don’t remember at the beginning of the trip any mention of her being the one who was going to be the hostess, do you? I know when I take my children and grandchildren to Europe on vacation I book the rooms at a lodge and arrange for side trips sponsored by the lodge and from there the yare on their own, free to do what they want, when they want. The onlything I ask (no, demand) is that when they are in a foreign country that they follow the rules of the country and act accordingly. I also ask that they act like proper adults and not act like Ugly Americans and so far my experiences have been wonderful. I got the impression from watching LuAnn that she felt as tho it was her dollar that paid for the trip. I was kind of surprised she demanded they all show up for dinner at a specified time too. I didn’t care if my daughter and her husband wanted Greek food at midnight and I wanted local German cuisine at 7 PM…..who cares? Life is too short to sweat the petty things..just don’t pet the sweaty things…..hahahaha. What a trip that LuAnn is. How I would love to travel with her. I bet I could drive her to Kellyland…….hahahaha.

  64. Carolyn says:

    spell check……..Ethiopian

  65. Caitlin says:

    Yes, Carolyn, I think you could teach LuAnn a thing or two about how to allow everyone else to enjoy themselves on a vacation! I believe that LuAnn was the “hostess” for this trip in the same way that Ramona was the hostess for the St. John’s get-away: neither of them paid everyone’s way (clearly Bravo picked up the tab), but they got to participate in selecting the locale and the living arrangements. And there the comparison ends, for Ramona allowed her guests to enjoy themselves sans browbeating. Morocco, on the other hand, represented the nadir of LuAnn’s story line, and I do not expect her to accept any responsibility for her shabby behavior, do you? If any of us needed a perfect illustration of “Compensatory Narcissistic Disorder” in action, the Countess delivered a rock-em, sock-em one with that trip!

  66. dana says:

    i have a hard time watching the show because of luann i dislike her so much its painfull to watch her and jill are so rude and kelly is crazy i wish they would replace the tree of them

    • Carolyn says:

      I don’t mind watching them implode……I find them amusing, especially Luann. She tries so hard to be above everyone else and is so superficial. I really don’t think she understands how amusing the viewing audience finds her with her pompous attitude. She once had a title when she was married to some European man who dumped her via an email…….how romantic is that? Now she clings to the title as if it were a life preserver and will keep her heads above the rest. My husband and I used to have titles too…..hahaha…he was a high ranking officer in the military and I earned a PhD in the medical field and taught at university level. We are now retired and live in a small very rural town in the south. It is pure heaven. He is from here and had not been back in nearly 25 years and only came home to take over the family farm when his Mother died. No one in the area is aware of our *titles* and if they were can you imagine how impressed they would be….hahahahahaha…….that news and a buck fifty will get us a cup of coffee at the local diner. If she truly wants to be happy I suggest she let me give her a buck fifty. She is truly a pitiful being and watching her makes me aware of how good my life truly is.

  67. Pingback: What in the world has gotten into LuAnn de Lesseps? |

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  69. Gia says:

    You are making up diagnosis
    There is no personality disorder called “compensatory narcissistic personality disorder”
    It’s narcissistic personality disorder.

    Same for Teresa. There is no “emotionally unstable personality disorder”

    You are making things up!

    • Jay says:

      There actually IS.

      Compensatory narcissist: Defined as a narcissist who displays passive-aggressive and avoidant tendencies, which are ultimately an acting out of a desire to alter one’s own social standing to others or to self.

  70. Just so everybody knows… Any psychologist or psychiatrist that mocks or makes fun of the people they claim to be diagnosing… Doesn’t care about the well being of human beings. That’s all I have to say 😊

  71. colleen silveira says:

    I CANT STAND LUANN!!!! YUCK!!! I watch all the housewife shows, and over the decade, I think she is the worse!! PLEASE take her off the show….she doesn’t deserve to be on it.

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