Welcome to my second blog about the psychological disorders displayed on the Real Housewives series featured on Bravo. Once again I do have a psych degree but I am not a practicing psychologist. These blogs are intended for entertainment purposes only, mostly my own entertainment I will admit.
Thanks so much for the responses on my first attempt at bloganalysis. I do love any and all comments, feel free to disagree or point out flaws in logic. I am open to anything.
I could not resist tackling the juicy subject of Kelly Killoren Bensimon today. If you watched last night, I am sure you know why. Kelly is one of the women featured on Bravo’s Real Housewives Of New York City, also known as RHONY. It does not take a psych degree to see that Ms. Bensimon is suffering from a case of paranoid personality disorder.
People with paranoid personality disorder are highly suspicious of other people. They also are usually unable to acknowledge their own negative feelings towards other people in any realistic way. They generally do not work well with others, feeling as if they will be exploited or otherwise harmed. When paranoid people are in any way confronted or feel threatened, they tend to respond either by detaching emotionally or reacting with hostility that can even manifest in physical violence.
Kelly on the surface seems to be a very social and self confident individual. We see her party hop, chatter and generally act the part of typical socialite. Appearances can be deceptive. Kelly may also be active in her social life but she fails to connect with anyone, even her own children, on any significant level.
Case in point, when she posed for Playboy magazine. She took her daughters to lunch for a conversion about what was going on and I imagine to prep them for what was to come. The entire exchange was fraught with complete misunderstanding by Kelly of everything her kids said as well as a total misread by Kelly of how the children actually felt. There was no connection, it was a going through the motions type of talk. At one point her daughter praised her for working hard for them and Kelly took it as she was saying Kelly was hard on them. Why would that be where Kelly goes? Odd, no?
Kelly does not like Bethenny Frankel. Instead of telling her that or owning that emotion to others, Kelly instead will tell you that Bethenny hates her. She will add that Ms Frankel has attempted to smear her in the press and even that Bethenny has tried to kill her and harm her innocent children. I don’t think Ms Bensimon has any clue why Bethenny or anyone else would dislike her or her behaviors, any negativity is perceived as a direct attack and not dealt with rationally.
I will give her that Bethenny does not like her and indeed has probably made many comments that have made it into the papers. I am sure every housewife is guilty of that in varying degrees, some is probably just normal talk that worms its way down to reporters and some probably is indeed blatant feeding to the press trolls. That kind of press goes with reality TV and really any type of fame in general and you need to realize that going in. I think most rational adults would.
The idea though that any of the housewives tried in any way to harm Kelly’s children is patently ridiculous. I am just not drinking that Kool Aid thanks. As for the Bethenny is killing me comments, well if it had been said in an ironic tone then I would get it. Trouble is, it was not. Kelly honestly seems to believe that Bethenny Frankel is legitimately plotting to kill her. Yes that is indeed paranoia and crosses into legitimate full blown disease.
Kelly maintains a façade of self confidence. If you watch her interactions carefully you will see how often she engages in approval seeking. I think that may be some of the reason she ignores other women for the most part socially, she perceives them as a threat. With men she gets the positive reinforcement she craves, as they are more apt to appreciate her appearance.
Her relationships with women, when she does have them, are odd. She has befriended Jill and meekly accepts Jill’s corrections of her behaviors, even her way of speaking. She is obviously desperate for the acceptance of Jill Zarin, that would not be the case if she truly had self esteem. She defends this woman to everyone (to her own detriment) and in return gets how many times she says *like* counted at her. Yes that is a whipped puppy’s behavior, not the alpha dog.
Kelly does not work well with others. Awhile back the women tried to organize a charity event Jill Zarin was hosting. Kelly’s first reaction was to insist she doesn’t put her name on anything, implying that her good name would somehow be harmed if she were associated with the endeavor. She seemed suspicious of the motives of the others for being involved as well.
During a vacation shown this week on Bravo, Kelly displayed a lot of her general feeling that everyone is out to get her. A varying times she refered to others as witches, mean, vile and even accused one castmate of “channeling the Devil” himself. She at times self isolated and at others lashed out toward at least three of the women. Her ramblings were illogical, at times even unintelligible. Her anger was of an inappropriate level to the given situations as well.
Whenever emotions were shown she grew more uncomfortable and agitated, even when the emotions were innocuous or not directed at her in any way. She read into every situation a threat against her personally. She raged against anyone who was visibly feeling anything, claiming it was *so 1979*. I confess the amateur shrink in me wonders exactly what happened to Ms Bensimon during that particular year as it is an otherwise completely random choice. She told numerous people to zip it and otherwise shut their mouth, as she clearly could not handle conversation of any type. A true breakdown occurred and I doubt we saw even close to the worst of it.
I also must go into a real life incident off show. Kelly Killoren Bensimon admitted she hit her real life boyfriend Nick Stefanov in March of this year as part of a plea deal. She in return did not have to plead guilty and served two days of community service. When this incident was mentioned on the show it was presented as Kelly volunteering. The fact remains she did legally admit to resorting to violence in a confrontation with her then boyfriend. Not exactly the action of someone in control of themselves. I think after watching a recent episode I can see how it might have come about.
I think Sonja Morgan may have saved more harm coming to anyone else during the vacation scenes. She calmly and rationally made everyone realize the powder keg was ready to blow. Do I think it could have escalated in something dangerous? Yes I really do. Luckily dispassionate calmness is indeed the best way to defuse paranoia.
At any rate I do indeed feel that Kelly Killoren Bensimon is a true case of Paranoid Personality Disorder but again, judge for yourselves.
Other common symptoms include:
- Concern that other people have hidden motives
- Expectation that they will be exploited by others
- Inability to work together with others
- Poor self image
- Social isolation
- Detachment
- Hostility
A Real Housewife's View 
Spot on!! This episode was extremely uncomfortable to watch. I know that this was fantastic for ratings but for the wellbeing of KKB and the other cast members they should not allow her to return for the next season of RHONY. Great blog!!
Thanks! I was uncomfy too, I questioned even writing this blog but ultimately could not resist.
I was so thrilled to read your analysis of the characters from the “Real Housewives of … ” series … am very anxious to read more … when are you likely to expound on the rest of the characters?
Alyssa 🙂
What would you say about the part where she got Betheney’s Skinnygirl gift tote bag? That seemed to really set her off, I think it’s the only time I saw her break down crying. Would someone with PPD think this person must have sent this stuff to poison her, or something like that? I thought that was one of the craziest parts.
Actually, thinking about it more, I think she has narcissistic personality disorder, maybe in combination with ppd?
Well written and explained. I have to admit when watching last night’s show I was physically nervous. I grew up in a household with an alcoholic step father and I never knew what might set him off to become violent so seeing Kelly’s agitation and unpredictable behavior brought those feelings right back. Even Bethenny said as much in her Bravo blog this week; “Truth be told, what aired was very tame compared to what actually happened. I think that to air the full scope of it would terrify the viewers. We were truly terrified ourselves”. I don’t think the stress of the reality show environment with people she obviously doesn’t get along with is good for her or the other cast members. I agree she shouldn’t be on the show next season.
I do have a question – How will this affect her daughters growing up with a mother that is so paranoid and rather delusional and emotionally unable to connect?
unless this kind of behavior is recent (which wouldn’t be the case with a personality disorder) the damage to her daughters is likely already done. honestly the best thing for them would have been if they have had a good nanny or other caretaker who has attended to their needs. if not, they need a good therapist!
okay here’s what I don’t get …why would any father allow his children to be at the mercy of someone so damaged? I’m not wishing for Kelly to lose her children, but if she was as scary as Bethany and Alex intimate — why doesn’t her ex-husband step in to protect their daughters?
Awesome entry. I think you’re just as spot-on here as you are with Jill. I want to add a few of my own observations about Kelly:
*I’ve always noticed Kelly’s lack of attachment to women. She’s not someone you can genuinely bond or become sisters with, for she’s always focused on getting- and keeping- the attention of men.
*My added theory is that ever since she came on the show, she’s found it difficult emotionally. Where a guy (or group of them) might let her skate by with making her airhead, not-quite-intellectually-connected pronouncements because she’s Kelly/beautiful/ex-model, women don’t tend to let that slide. I think she’s always been accustomed to sounding witty without making actual sense, validated for it (as an Empress with “new clothes”), and the show has illustrated her that she’s not all that- and she’s lashing out. In particular, she is fixated on Bethenny for being the most sharp-tongued in her criticisms.
*Kelly is socially awkard with men her own age. She has this little-girl air that she’s adopted for older men (i.e. Gilles Bensimmon) and the cutesy way she says “hi”. But being around a man in her age range is amusing because she clearly plays a hand that landed Bensimmon, but while she gets attention, I don’t think her relationships are successful.
*Finally, at was an instance of approval-seeking with an older man, and that her “hobag” comments stem from having adopted a male point of view about sexuality. Girls who get around are “bad.” Where Sonja laughs at a one-night stand, Kelly assumes a prudish, judgmental air. I am willing to bet my paltry earnings next to her modeling contracts that she hasn’t had a terribly fun sex life and doesn’t know how to own that for herself.
Please keep writing your entries!
Good points, all of them. Very thought provoking, especially about her little girl regressive type behavior. Thanks so much!
Where are you? I discovered this site the other day and cannot get enough. I have actully posted blogs on the RHW Bravo site just to air my frustration for some of the women’s behavior. They all seem to be in denial about themselves to some extent. Please let me know if you are no longer posting or when you will. You help make some of us not feel so crazy watching the RHW and what passes for normal.
Very, very interesting. I watch the show every week. I have never looked at the blogs before, but after last nights episode I felt like I needed a bit of a reality check. Was Kelly ‘crazy’ or was that really good editing? I think you laid out a very thoughtful interesting case here. I’m glad I stummbled upon this blog. I think this is a serious matter and Kelly needs help, if for anything else the well being of her children. Thanks for putting things into perspective. Now I’m wondering if there are degrees of mental illness as I have seen some quirky behavior in a friend of mine. Hmmmm.
Really great post. I just want to add that Kelly is incredibly judgmental. She immediately leaps to assumptions and judges everyone based on how she perceives they should react or what they should say. If someone doesn’t act the exact same as her (her standard), she immediately judges them and labels them as wrong.
Her whole “I’m from the midwest, I’m normal, I drive a dodge” broken record repetition is her justification for judgmental behavior.
Also my mom is a practicing psychologist (as is my sister) and both agree with your assessment. They also had some other things to say :D.
I totally agree with you about the judging. And isn’t it interesting that her best friends are Jill and LuAnne that are the most judgemental people in the universe (okay, maybe just on this show!). Put the three of them together and you have a horrible, destructive group of women that I wouldn’t want to know, let alone be friends with. Yuck. I don’t see how any of these fences can be mended until the judgemental group can see what they are doing and stop it. But with them all enabling each other, it seems to make that an impossibility. And enabling Kelly is especially awful since she seems to be really sick and in need of help.
I’m curious about what your psychologist mom and sis had to say about Kelly et. al.
I think you’re better off with a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder with psychotic features. I’m guessing there was some major trauma in Kelly’s life that she has yet to deal with. As a licensed mental health professional, that’s my assessment. Paranoid Personality Disorder is a good guess, though.
Having experienced bipolar with a former member of my family, this episode was ringing all kinds of bells for me. The constant cycling between moods, the emotional detachment from feelings, and the delusions and paranoia are all symptoms of this disorder. So can be excessive exercise, and we have observed her running dangerously through the streets of New York City. Also it caught my attention that Kelly was having issues with the constant “chat”. This is often present in bipolar disorders.
This episode also reminded me of a personal experience with a roommate. Our close friendship ended after a bizarre argument that she refused to discuss. “You stole something from me…… I never want to speak to you again.” I had NOT ever taken anything from her. It made no sense, and I reacted angrily and eventually gave up rather than realizing that something was wrong with her state of mind. Less than a year later, she had her first psychotic break and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I have had a little experience with bipolar disorders in friends. It seems that Kelly is cycling really fast though, doesn’t it? She went off her trolley at dinner then skipped back in with sweets. I thought most of the bipolar people cycled more slowly than that. At least the people I knew did.
I completely agree. Almost every episode where they feature Kelly, bipolar disorder comes to my mind.
She doesn’t need people exploiting her illness, she needs bravo, or family, or friends to step in and do something about it.
I agree with Linda. It’s not simply paranoid personailty disorder. Kelly is BP with paranoid features. She was rapid cycling. The rudeness, pressured speech… the whole thing was classic BP. Bravo should have stopped filming.
I completely agree re: bipolar diagnosis. Over the course of the show it had occured to me one and off that Kelly likely suffered from bipolar disorder. Its also possible that she doesnt cycle all the way down to depression and only experiences the manic or hypomanic episodes (though its clearly necessary for a complete history to know for sure). Possible rule-out diagnoses could be delusional disorder and on axis 2, mild to moderate mental retardation. (I am only *half* joking about that last one…)
I disagree. Working primarily with Bipolar patients I don’t think she fits the profile well enough, or at all really. Her symptoms just aren’t right for it. Notably, to be classed as Bipolar a patient has to be suffering from depression or mania when they suffer a psychotic experience, Kelly frequently re-creates reality when not suffering from either state. As she is clearly not schizophrenic that brings me, personally, to the conclusion of Borderline Personality Disorder – Narcisistic Type, coupled with a below average IQ.
I advise anyone interested to read up on it – the symptom list is an exact description of Kelly.
I agree with Karen. Kelly doesn’t strike me as having BPD, but more likely a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. All the signs are there. NPD’s lack empathy & Kelly clearly feels uncomfortable whenever feelings are discussed as she can’t connect with them. She is self-absorbed and appears to constantly reflect conversations back on herself and shows disinterest in others. Bethenny was clearly competition for Kelly and she tried hard to discredit her. The exchanges between the two were classic narcissism on Kellys part. She percieved a benign comment as being a personal attack and immediately took on the role of victim. In St Johns we saw her flip from victim to bully and back again. I noticed that in the next season of RHONY, after her infamous breakdown, that she tried to project her craziness onto Alex -who provided her with an easy target.
Watching this episode was like watching my sister. I have two sisters with issues, one has borderline personality disorder, and the other has paranoid personality disorder.
I’m glad there’s a label for these disorders. Growing up in a house with my sisters was hell. I just thought they were horrible bitches. Resentment has been replaced with acceptance. One will never get help. The other, while receiving treatment, does frequently attempt suicide. It’s still hell dealing with this, but at least I know it’s not personal, it’s nothing I did and I’m not responsible for any of it. If my sister dies, it’s not my fault. The other sister won’t speak to me anymore because I am ‘evil incarnate’. That’s okay too. If that’s what she has to believe to get through a day, then so be it. I don’t allow it to affect my life anymore.
I feel so sorry for Bensimon’s children. I’d bet the farm she only gets them on weekends. This behavior has to have been noticed by people close to the children.
I don’t normally read the HW blogs, but do watch the shows… however the segment with KKB’s breakdown was disturbing on so many levels… I had to say something. I agree, it would be irresponsible to bring her back next year. She is just way to fragile for that type of exposure and stress. This is like putting a gold fish in a blender. I hope she gets the help she needs. I thought Sonja Morgan was a heroine show real emotional leaderhsip for recognizing the problem early and and then getting the other women on her page. It may be a ratings goldmine for Bravo, but if they continue to expose KKB, the crew and other castmates to somone who is so mentally damaged, they do so at their risk and everyone else, because woman could really blow a gasket. Then the lawsuits happen. I feel the same way with Danielle Staub and her behaviors. They are both very hard to watch and it is irresponsible for Bravo to seemingly encourage these very volatile scenes. I have a feeling KKB will be off the show next year, I just don’t think the temporary ratings are worth the longterm risk. And KKB’s kids? Remember the scene where she is making pancakes with her girls, and the youngest one wouldn’t talk, would just write words? That spoke volumes about where they are at…
Wow. I had forgotten about that. At the time, I assumed it was because the girls didn’t want to be on television and resented being filmed. But, in light of KKB’s recent behavior, it’s likely there was more going on there. Those poor little girls. I hope they have a really great nanny.
Wowzers. Another great entry!
Excellent analysis!! I seriously think you should email blog this to Kelly AND Bravo. Also to the other cast mates. I am very serious, please send it to them!!
I couldn’t believe what I was watching. Absolutely unbelievable. But the reason for this post is that I’m wondering if there is any form of treatment for Paranoid Personality Disorder? And if so, what does it entail?
Kelly is boiling over with rage. It seems as if she is close to acting on her irrational fears. Are there warning signs that she could be a danger?
Next analysis: Danielle, please! She’s in NJ BEGGING to be analyzed!
Yes, PLEASE!!!!
Great observations all; but could drug use be a factor?
You got your wish :).
Interesting analysis. How do you think the possibility drug use might factor into her behavior? Might it exacerbate an already unstable situation? Because there appear to be some telltale signs of it that wouldn’t necessarily be present solely with a personality disorder. (I’m thinking cat-pee smell, craving for sugar, frequently ducking out of the room, etc…)
Dual-diagnosis, a substance abuse problem along with the mental illness, is quite common. Sometimes it is a case of the subject attempting to self-medicate away the mental issues. Regardless, most mental health centers are equipped to handle dual-diagnosis.
I think you hit the nail on the head with this blog. Kelly fits this disorder to a T right down to the last symptom. I too wonder what harm she could eventually do to her daughters.
So here’s a question….if Kelly really is crazy or has some sort of personality disorder then she wouldn’t recognize her behavior as “bad” or ill mannered but would in fact think everyone else is “bad” or ill mannered. However, she did own her behavior in last week’s blog by saying:
“Always follow your instincts.
I knew I should have never gone on the trip.
I am incredibly embarrassed by how I acted.”
So she clearly owns the behavior??? So is she really nutty or what is her deal?
She’s not owning her behavior. She’s blaming the group for systematic bullying.
The only behavior she is owning is going with the group on the trip. She still views her behavior as the fault of the group.
Read a more detailed version of Kelly’s excuse at People:
http://tvwatch.people.com/2010/05/23/kelly-bensimon-im-not-proud-of-the-way-i-acted/
After reading the full story in People, she is definitely not owning her own behavior. She says in the article that she knew she shouldn’t have gone because all the people there did not like her. They then ALL attacked her. She felt she had to stay around them so she could keep tabs on them. She then says (if you don’t believe any of that crap she just said) that it was a show and this was not what she is like in real life. No, this lady is scrambling to make herself sound reasonable and she denies having any problems. She lays that problems squarely at the feet of the other 4 women.
My husband was addicted to meth for 4 years. Kelly’s behaviors mirrored his in many ways and the cat pee smell is very telling. I’d be shocked if Ms. Bensimon is NOT an addict.
Janie,
I agree w/you. My ex was a meth addict and also had all these traits. I can’t begin to tell people how terrifying it is to be around a person addicted to this drug. That whole scene for me was a trip back in time for me. I shudder at the memories.
Did you notice how Ramona made comments in the next episode how Kelly was allergic to alcohol? We didn’t see how much she consumed, but Kelly mentioned she drank wine and doesn’t do well with wine. I’m leaning towards a personality disorder that worsens with alcohol or drug use.
I thought it was Sonja who smelled the cat pee. I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t cat pee on the ship, given the fact that the people who run in those circles seem to treat small pets as accessories, and cat pee smells are hard to eradicate. Is it not possible that previous occupants of the yacht had brought their cat(s) aboard?
About everything else stated about Kelly, though, I’m in full agreement. I’m sure her personality disorders contributed to the breakup of her marriage.
I agree that Kelly has some sort of severe mental illness, but I also COMPLETELY agree that there was drug use. Wasn’t it strange how she would stomp-off (esp. lunch on the boat when the trip 1st started) when things got heated, then come back fine and happy (sometimes with a bag of candy) and then the craziness would start all over again? I kept feeling that when she left she was doing some sort of drug. Yikes, what a nightmare this woman must be living.
Oh! Please keep blogging it is so interesting the human behavior. I am so happy to have found your blog. It is very interesting to watch all these women and how their behaviors change when hit with a little bit of fame and attention, they become this 3rd dimension characters I guess they can become fragile if they are unstable to begin with. I would like your input on Bethenny and her hardness at times. I think personally that she attacks when she feels afraid and often avoids how she really feels deep down. Anyway it would be interesting. Kudos for beginning this blog. Have a great day!
Hi! I too have a psych degree, and hope to eventually become a psychiatrist. I initially just thought that kelly was just very unintelligent, and being a beautiful young girl who had means, was probably able to get away with it in a lot of ways in society for most of her life. After watching her though, it started to become clear that she may be suffering from a personality disorder. I truly hope this is not the case, because personality disorders are notoriously difficult to treat and they are very damaging.
Please please please do Dina from RHONJ next….I see total and complete evil in her. But no one else seems to see it.
To be honest, I would argue against her having this particular personality disorder, as I have learned that it is often similar to paranoid schizophrenia-from what we know her delusions are not the delusions of the schizophrenic. Of course you may be totally right on, though, but I would venture she may have narcissistic personality disorder: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/ds00652
I actually would more likely argue she has this disorder as she pretty much nails all the aspects, and this is a disorder that does tend to be violent at times. I am actually curious to know what you think, let me know! Cool blog by the way.
I think kelly is on crystal meth. remember how sonja said that the room smelled like cat pee? she looks and acts like a meth-head imo.
This blog is fantastic. One thing I think we all agree on is–There is some type of mental illness that happened on the episode. And we got an ugly glimpse of it. Very sad and I feel that Bravo really crossed a line in airing. It was tasteless and tragic to view.
My understanding is that it is not uncommon for people to attempt to self treat/self medicate.
I will look forward to reading your blog angelofdevs.
This is a wonderful blog. There are so many intelligent ideas and comments. Now we know why the ex-husband lives in the same building, to keep his girls safe. And, now we know why there was a divorce. We know there is something so wrong here, illegal drugs? Mental illness? It’s all so sad, and Kelly will never see it. We witnessed a breakdown (which she calls a breakthrough on her blog), where does she go from here if her loved ones don’t to an intervention. She left home for the cruel world so young that somehow she just slipped through the cracks.
One of the most amazing thing about this woman is that she is not a sympathtic character. I do try to feel sad for her, I just have such a hard time with her vicious attacks. I feel she is a threat to others, and wonder if her girls live with her full time. The situation is sad, she is sad, but she it not likeable.
Thanks for the great breakdown (pun intended).
There are several themes going on with Kelly.
Mommy/Daddy issues – Jill as substitute mother, Gilles as father. Sexual hang ups – almost a revulsion with casual sex or perceived casual sex (one night stands, the tongue).
Unhealthy focus on her perceived rival – Bethenny. Personally I think Kelly is incensed with Bethenny’s “undeserved” popularity. Namely, Bethenny is not of the correct social circle (fashion crowd) to justify her public popularity. Secondly, Bethenny is (was) the only woman on the show in Kelly’s niche as single and younger.
Kelly gravitates to men for approval and to avoid women. The show is about a group of women, inherently combustable for Kelly.
“Kelly gravitates to men for approval and to avoid women. The show is about a group of women, inherently combustible for Kelly.”
Great observation! No matter what her story may be, I do think that under any circumstance this (female relationships even semi-faux tv ones) is an added obstetrical for her. As females we have all met this type of woman who must be the center of attention or is unhappy.
Lol! Obstacle …..clearly more coffee is needed!
obstetrical? freudin slip? LOL
I agree with your posting. I think Bethenny is a huge threat to Kelly. She wishes to have another child (B is pregnant or was) she wants a husband (her comments about Jason kissing her) Bethenny has worked hard for her career (she is trying to be famous, look how excited she was today on her blog on how many hits she had on Yahoo, like a child, elated.) Because of these things, I feel that Bethenny is in danger with Kelly. I could see her try to destroy the things she feels Bethenny doesn’t deserve. Look how she interperted the things that Bethenny said about relationships and transposed them into something that was not stated.
Nicely done! Look forward to more posts. Please cross the bridge into New Jersey and give Danielle’s psychosis a whirl!
I had to by popular demand!
very insightful and great blog! it was awful to watch Kelly’s breakdown and very scary too! her face got uglier and uglier as she screamed and cried. also she made some very inappropriate comments as Ramona was trying to talk to Bethany to apologize for their incident on the bridge. I am afraid and concerned for Kelly’s 2 beautiful daughters. I hope Kelly will get some professional help to deal with her emotional scars.
Best blog ever! I’m completely riveted by the train wreck that is the primarily narcissistic cast. I sort of feel like narcissists deserve all the scorn we can heap on ’em. So yeah… I’d be the world’s worst shrink. Nonetheless, armchair analysis here I come!
I’d previously thought Kelly was simply entitled, insecure and slow-witted to the point of concrete, not to mention narcissistic. However, last night’s episode was truly disturbing and I pretty quickly came to the same conclusion as you did: paranoid personality disorder. Obviously, Kelly’s behavior and speech is disorganized and bizarre (I’d previously attributed that to intellectual laziness and a lack of humor). She did not seem to be speaking metaphorically when she described Bethany as being “filled with knives”, that Bethany had tried to kill her multiple times, or that Alex was “channeling the devil/vampire”. These are pretty clearly paranoid delusions. She contradicts herself constantly because she seems unable to process coherently and cannot tolerate even the most diplomatic confrontation about her inconsistent behavior. While it’s possible she’s got bipolar disorder, we’ve only seen her in hyperactive manic mode so it’s unclear if she actually ever cycles to depressive. In addition, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was self-medicating with a mood elevator/stimulant ( my guess: meth) in an attempt to buffer the panic she seems to feel in social situations in which she is expected to engage in a slightly more than surface way. I, too suspect she seeks out superficial relationships with men and can manage the “society” scene because in that context flirting like a 12 year-old is considered charming.
Even more detailed symptoms of PPD below… I’ve added in brackets what I consider to be a few examples of these behaviors exhibited by Kelly in just this episode alone:
“A pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
* suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her {Without any proof accusing Bethany of planting stories about her and her children. When confronted “Who else would do it!!??” And of course, that B has tried to kill her.}
* is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates {Repeatedly stating during the show that she was alone and that there were four of “them” all against her. Ignoring all efforts they made to reach out}
* is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her {General discomfort when asked about her feelings or experiences. When asked to share, her response “”Feelings are so 1979.” }
* reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events {Her reaction Bethany’s gift bag}
* persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights {Her inability to let go of Bethany’s “Maddonna” comment}
* perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack {Her reaction to Bethenny’s joke about those grapes. }
* has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner {She never discusses real relationships so this is difficult to assess but she seems terrified of intimacy.}
It must kill Kelly (and Jill), that Bethanny now has her own show now. hahaha
Jill could have been a co-star, (she’s kicking herself I bet)
and of course Kelly, finding out the world doesn’t hate Bethanny, “nobody cares about you” she says to Bethany, well the world does care about Bethany, and not Kelly. By the way, this season Kelly was in so many of the scenes, she must have found out where they were shooting the night before, and made arrangements to “drop by”. Insecure, attention-whore, looking for the cameras, hoping that will save her. Alas…
I’m guessing Jill thinks she’s too important to be a mere co-star on BF’s show. I’m betting she thinks she deserves her own spin-off and is bitter she hasn’t been offered one.
Chemical unbalance??Menopause??? Depression??? Kelly did not eat the good food Bethenny cooked but chose to drink coffee,booze, and eat CANDY. She is way too thin. Her bones show in a bathing suit. I think she needs a good physical exam and some nutrition help.
Great site! Yes please do Dannielle, and Dina may be interesting too.
Has anyone considered something organic or physical for Kelly’s “Mystery diagnoses”?
Like real brain damage?
Her “literal” translations have been linked to Asberger’s. (she does not understand “Let your hair down”)…I knew someone with Alzheimer’s, and they appeared “normal”. A family member had to tell me because they were acting weird like Kelly. After that this person’s odd behavior made sense, and when I thought back, because I couldn’t believe that I didn’t catch-on before being told, the only thing that seemed “off” was a vocabulary/word comprehension problem.
Also, it appears that she has always had a relatively low IQ, but somehow she’s been portrayed as somewhat of an intellectual. That must be hard to live with?
Some people consider her attractive. Well she used that to its full advantage, and now, her youth & looks are going fast.
Her insecurities about everything else, plus now losing the only thing that she really had, (her looks), it’s got to be stressing her ?
Jealousy & insecurity go hand & hand, sometimes it seems like the more insecure someone is, the more jealous they act.
With Kelly, besides being able to almost hold her own in the appearance area, when she looks at everyone else, and sees what they have to offer, and then considers that she basically has NOTHING, that has to hurt.
I’ve seen her shoot daggers with her looks at every other female on the show with the worst being reserved for , (of all people, but I saw it!), Jill’s pretty teen-age daughter.
Long-term alcohol use, and other drug use causes physical permanent damage to one’s brain also.
Whatever is wrong with Kelly, its not temporary, not fleeting, and I personally don’t think it’s curable. There may be successful treatment available, anything is better than whatever kind-of self-medication she uses.
She has already proven that she is capable of violence. She’s delusional. She is a dangerous, psychopathic person, and for Bravo to continue to support this by featuring her and her bizarre behavior on-the-air doesn’t make sense to me except for the revenue that’s brought-in by our morbid curiosity.
So who do we hold responsible when (not if, when), someone gets hurt?
The only redemption that Bravo could possibly claim here is if the public were to be informed that Ms. Bensimon’s children are now in a better situation due to what Bravo exposed to us all.
We all saw the relief that Bethenny expressed when everyone else accepted the truth about Kelly, can you imagine how her ex-husband must feel if he has any concern at all for his children?
Now is the time for him to make his move in my opinion.
No child, including her own, is safe around her and their father now has the evidence that he needs to make a case for supervised contact between Kelly & her kids.
To do anything less is neglectful, abusive, and cruel.
Btw, Recently, one of Kelly’s animals died. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had something to do with it.
Thank you very much. I was raised by a Kelly, who was extremely violent at times, then would collapse into a ball. The med’s and alcohol didn’t help, but her personaily disorder was the primary issue, the self medicating a result.
I am so angry at Bravo for not having a disclaimer at the beginning of the show, then I could have made an informed decision.
This was foisted on this country, and it’s ugly circumstances compiled on this woman. I have seen a couple of comments she has made about what she thought happened, ‘she wasn’t have a breakdown, it was a breakthrough’.
I pray social services have reached her daughters father, because I did not have a father who would help, I was left alone with a very ill mother.
Her behavior brought back so many horrible memories, I for one, will never watch another show on Bravo again. You may think that extreme, I consider it my duty as a human being, I will not give them my rating to sell to their advertisers, it’s all I have.
Oh…I send you hugs. I feel for you. If there’s anyway I could send a comforting message to you…I certainly would. I care.
I also was raised by a “Kelly” and was totally in shock by this show. I know the real vacation was really no vacation at all. For years I have thought that I was the only one who grew up with a mother like this and this is the first time I realized that I was not alone!
It is very hard to describe how growing up like that affects you. I am now 38 years old and had to cut off contact from my “Kelly” several years ago. This was a hard choice but the right choice for my health and sanity.
I really do hope that her ex-husband takes the kids now before they are completely screwed up for life. I have spent many years trying to fight my way back to reality and think I have made great progress in my life but do occasionally find my self showing some of the signs of my crazy upbringing.!
Wow I am shocked at all the interest! Thanks to all who have contributed, I think a lot of really great points have been brought up. Regardless of disorder it is clear that Kelly is in need of some serious intervention by an actual professional. I do believe that Kelly could indeed be helped but no, I do not think her issues have gone away or disappeared since the show aired. You can tell by her responses on Twitter and through her blog that she is in denial and deflection mode. She either changes the subject, pretends everything is ok, says that it was editing or acting or blames the others invovled.
After watching the episode last night it is clear that there is something wrong. I’ve personally witnessed this behavior in two individuals, siblings, and they had a much different diagnosis. One thing that made me curious was the sugar intake that Kelly had over the course of the trip. I don’t recollect seeing her eat much in the form of healthy food; however, she really took in the sugar through sweets of all kinds. As such it seemed that she may have an imbalance that is caused more by her diet and perhaps a lifetime of diet.
Honestly, when she went for the jelly beans, lollipops, and don’t forget the peanut butter cookies it really seemed so unusual for such a thin woman. So I looked it up and found an article about “Dietary Sugar and Mental Illness: A Surprising Link”
Here is the website:
http://psychpundit.blogspot.com/2006/07/dietary-sugar-and-mental-illness.html
I certainly am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but the sugar really was a standout from all the episodes.
Just a thought
A high sugar intake is also indicative of heroin addiction. If you go to a party and witness a group of people eating a lot of candy and you ask them about it, they’ll say they’re in recovery.
Yep…true…true… I ate $70.00 worth of candy in 3 days while in treatment for Oxycontin addiction. I turned my debit card into the office so I’d stop buying candy! Many newcomers (less than 60 days clean, usually) that come to my meetings and are detoxing from any opiates, eat alot of candy. The sugar cravings level out, it just takes some time.
Very interesting. I had never heard that! Cool article indeed.
Here is another website. My friend and the sibling were actually diagnosed with this illness and it really struck a cord with me as I observed this woman’s behaviors. It was not new.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/schizophrenia?tab=Symptoms
Why would Andy Cohen, a Bravo exec. dismiss Sarah Jessica Parker’s suggestion on Watch What Happens Live, that a mental health professional be on set during the RHNYC reunion show? Are RHYNC cast members following a Bravo script and acting out for the camera? Why is Bravo not concerned with what some see as a potential crisis situation?
I too hope Bravo, at least internally, is taking note and taking precautions. I fear for Kelly and her castmates. I feel as though they may be saying one thing publicly to gloss over and maintain the image but in private talks they are fully aware. I think the risks are pretty obvious.
I think he only dismissed it because the show had already been aired… he knew the outcome already. In reality, I bet they had people there who were more than able to deal with the situation. I won’t watch this show again either if she is on next year. It’s just plain wrong to exploit such a sick individual. I have a feeling they are realizing it. While on the last season she seemed ‘odd’, this season she seems to have broken-down even more. It may not have been as obvious to them in the beginning. I really like Sonja Morgan. She was so compassionate to KKB, the whole time…
Um, because he’s one of the disgusting, money-grubbers getting rich by exploiting this woman’s mental illness. A shrink would tone down the drama and probably derail filming of the kind of scene we saw at the vacation dinner party. I like my “reality” drama as much as the next viewer, but I definitely think Bravo crossed a line in their exploitation of Kelly’s obvious breakdown. And, if they continue to include her on the show and put her in stressful, potentially triggering situations, I’m so done with this and all their other shows. If the network won’t say ‘enough,’ then the viewers have to.
My dad was bipolar w/paranoia. His mother was a paranoid schizophrenic. Kelly’s behavior resembled my grandmother’s. Both will do horrible damage to the children to be exposed to this. I hope Giles is watching. I wish my mother had not been so codependent.
What about when Kelly randomly called Bethenny, “Al Sharpton” or ended an argument at the breakfast table with, “satchels of gold”? My grandmother often confused me with soap opera stars and beat me senseless for their affairs. I was four or five when that started.
I agree with the Furry Grandmother. Anyone who has seen a schizophrenic personality as I have and she has clearly see the symptoms are not that of a bi-polar. Bi-polars are really high and drop off a cliff. The behavior may be erratic but the speech, etc. is more coherent. This disorder is much more like a schizophrenics. These siblings I spoke of had these odd behaviors and both were schizophrenic, however the disorder was manifested a little differently in each individual.
What is sad is that a person with a serious mental illness cannot be given the care they need because of abuses in the system of people with mental illness. What is even more amazing is that people should embrace this problem and help this woman have a very public, successful treatment. Unfortunately we are still stuck in the dark ages and think she should be taken out of the public view. If she were actually treated as if she had cancer or some other illness she would not be villified. What is more disturbing are the reactions of so many people.
I agree with you that we shouldn’t hide from mental illness, but neither should the public be encouraged to watch people with untreated mental illness for entertainment as was done in earlier eras. I would be horrified if Bravo featured someone with cancer who was getting no treatment and so I can see why people think KKB should not be in the cast when she is clearly not getting help. If snarky Andy Cohen actually would have a psychologist on to explain to people the best way to handle such a situation, at might have been of some benefit. As it is, it’s just spectacle being used for ratings.
I agree with your comments about mental health care in this country. However, I think you are being a bit hard on people who say she should be removed from the show. I would be horrified if Bravo featured a Housewife with cancer who was receiving no treatment. Clearly KKB is not getting the help she needs. And it appears from Andy Cohen’s lack of response to the issue that the show is not going to offer her any. This means that we are being encouraged to watch a woman decompensate merely for our entertainment. Watching mentally ill people for sport was something our society gave up centuries ago, but Bravo reduced us to that this week.
Watching KKB seek out and get treatment would be edifying, but that’s not the show Bravo wants us to watch.
Apologies if this is a double post.
But how can they feature a successful treatment when she so aggressively insists there is nothing wrong. She made a homemade PSA about bullying because she is convinced that she is innocent of any complicity in what went down and that the other women ganged up on her. She referred to the unfair odds of 4 against 1– which is especially bizarre since even Kelly couldn’t find fault with Sonja’s treatment of her in the midst of that argument. She also describes her “breakdown” as a “breakthrough” and has defended her behavior to several news outlets. She obviously has no willingness to get help, even if Bravo were to offer it and bankroll it.
It has been clear since the very beginning of Kelly’s appearances on this show that she has some sort of serious problem – but I thought it was just that she was so narcisistic and spoiled (like Naomi Campbell) that she throws a tantrum when she doesn’t get every little thing her way. This is a woman who had this very fabulous life just handed to her because she was able work her pretty to land a rich and powerful man twice her age. So she got a lot for nothing (and clearly has the sense of entitlement that comes with it) – but then he left, and now there’s no one to hand her big prestigious jobs she doesn’t deserve in the fashion industry, (and she’s likely been cut off some invite lists) and she’s left to chase people on the street to take snapshots for some little nothing magazine. That downhill slide must contribute to her obsessive resentment of Bethenny, who has created a business and a brand for herself, by herself, with nothing but her own brains and talent. And given some of Kelly’s other remarks, it seems like she thinks Bethenny is undeserving because she’s not in the same ‘class’ as her, and it just galls her that someone she sees as not as pretty as her, has all this success. And Kelly doesn’t see that Bethenny’s success is earned – she obviously doesn’t know the difference between earning something and being given something, because everything she has was given, not earned.
Or is Kelly’s problem just drugs. The candy was telling. And I couldn’t tell if Sonja was just joking about the cat pee smell.
This week’s episode was all that on steroids and disturbing to watch. And I’m sure it hasn’t helped Kelly’s tenuous grip on reality, on this trip, that she had Jill Zarin talking in her ear, validating all her fears about Bethenny – likely winding her up further. Yes, Kelly has problems, and is more than just weird and stupid, but does that explain her downright nastiness too?
I agree with the axis II personality disorder, but I also believe she has an axis I disorder with a psychotic break.
Also, it did not escape my notice that she seems to be ignoring her appearance and possibly her personal hygiene. This is difficult to measure from television, but she clearly is not washing or combing her hair. Self neglect would support an axis I diagnosis.
Bravo titled this troubling episode of RHNYC “Sun, Sand, and Psychosis.” That is so wrong.
Great blog. I just wanted to comment that her reference to “1979” was her incorrectly siting it as the year of “Free To Be You And Me”. I don’t think it was just a random year thrown out that subconsciously reminds her of something. I think she’s just, as others have noted, not quite all there in the brain dept. It’s kind of goes along with her distortions of idioms, like making lemonade out of lemons.
The way she gets her ‘phraseology’ mixed up makes me wonder if she has a learning disability, such as dyslexia. My husband is dyslexic. He’s really smart and is super good at math, but words are tough for him sometimes, especially the little words. And he’s got this great ability to make up new words. I always know what he means, and some of the words are pretty cute. But Kelly does the same thing, she gets phrases turned around and seems to struggle with their meaning. A learning disability would explain alot of the baggage and emotional disturbances she now carry’s around with her. And she has an ‘avoidant’ personality disorder for sure, as it seems her very survival depends upon shifting blame in any direction as long as it is away from her.
Yeah, I think she’s just botching that reference too. But I did look it up.
Kelly would’ve been 11 in 1979. Free to Be came out in 1972, but middle schoolers generally perform it. Maybe she saw it or participated in it for the first time when she was 11.
She started modeling when she was 15, btw. Not too long after that…
Hello, while I enjoy you and admire your diagnosis. Unfortunately, I think you are completely wrong in that this was a manic episode of bipolar disorder. She can go through the cycles of depression, hyper-mania, and manic and relatively normal stages. I have many bipolar personal aquaintances, have read many books written by successful social people in high places in life and their dealings. And I study psychopharmaceutical practice. I would suggest to you the book “Manic” it is amazing and I appreciate you blogging and wish you the best. However, this is bipolar disorder and paranoia is a symptom of it. Wine and candy are other classic indications since food can be used to manipulate brain chemistry. Best! : )
I was thinking Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Severe inability to empathize, likewise severe inability to listen when others are speaking (to the point of agitation: “zip it! zip it” “white noise!”), unable to handle criticism (esp. when it is spot-on i.e. from Bethenny), believes she is special and that others are jealous of her, expresses disdain for those she feels are inferior, etc. I was thinking the paranoia stemmed from the apparent substance abuse. Just my two cents!
p.s. should have read all the posts, I see that Patricia came to the same conclusion as me. I think it fits like a glove!
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Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed someone with a degree to analyze what we have been seeing, for my own sense of well-being. Your conclusions, and those that have commented have relieved my constant need to think about what I saw. I am disturbed Bravo would air that footage without a disclaimer, and truly pray the will require a doctor to on the reunion show (or some type of sign off prior to shooting).
I do not believe Kelyy would ever concede to mental illness unless forced. Had I been Bethenny I would have made Alex or Romona sleep with me, and honestly been frightened for my safety. My cousin’s Mother is schizophrenic, and as people have mentioned here, truly affected his life, and even his safety as a child. I feel for her daughters, hopefully Kelly will get the help she desparately needs.
Love your blog! Hope you will do Danielle, Tamra, Gretchen and Vicki next!
Spot on!
Kimberly (3rd year Med Student headed towards Psychiatry)
People on here are accusing her of killing one of her pets, using drugs, putting her children in danger, and having mental illness. Do you hear yourselves? If you really thought any of this was true, what kind of people are you to watch what you consider a “train wreck” – what is your psychosis that makes you find something like this entertainment? This poor girl was picked on the entire time – does anyone remember when Ramona asked her at a dinner party if she had her breasts re-done? Does anyone remember when Bethenny said at the reunion show “that makes you a piece of $hit”? Does anyone remember Alex’s message? How many people had to come up to her and ask what the hell was behind that? Kelly was bombarded by nasty, cruel people who didn’t even wait until she was out of the room to start talking about her. She “lost it” because she was being bullied. And she owned up to making a bad decision to go and was embarrassed by her behavior. But you all seem to delight in the misery of others and completely discount the behavior of others (go back to prior shows and not base it on one show). What is the term for that? I call it a profound unhappiness in yourself.
Catherine, this ‘poor girl was picked on’? No, this poor girl did all the picking. She always does, with rare exception. How is asking if she had her breasts redone(apparently, Kelly said that she was unhappy with her first boob job), ‘picking on’ her? It’s a question. A logical, if inappropriate and rude, one, given her Playboy layout. Hell, all the women have been on the receiving end of a patented Ramona insult, or two. As for Bethenny’s comment about Kelly being a piece of shit, it was well deserved. Kelly, by nearly all the women’s accounts, including Sonja’s, has a very nasty habit of publicly snubbing and rudely ignoring people she’s met dozens of times. As for Alex’s message, I don’t know what you’re referring to. Do you mean Alex’s message for Jill? Mm, what does that have to do with alleged Kelly abuse? Total non-sequitur, Catherine. Wait, is that you Kelly?! Has to be. Only Kelly would think people coming up to her and asking her about Alex’s message for Jill, was somehow ‘picking on her’. Wtf?
‘Kelly was bombarded by nasty, cruel people’
Nobody came close to Kelly in the nasty and cruel department. In addition to routinely pretending not to know people she’d met numerous times-no doubt in an attempt to make herself feel more important at the expense of the feelings of others(I don’t have to acknowledge those peasants! I’m Kelly Bensimon!), Kelly’s other nasty behaviors include-chronic lateness, a rude habit of only gracing an event with her presence for 5 min. before flitting off to something more important(to her), and, of course, her burning obsessional pathological hatred of Bethenny. Two years after the fact, Kelly is still steaming over B’s mildly snarky Madonna comment. In reality, it is Kelly who has been guilty of hurling truly mean insults. She repeatedly tried to demean B’s accomplishments by calling her a cook, not a chef. Bethenny never ridiculed Kelly’s career achievements, though she surely could have being that Kelly was a D list model. And only was an accessories editor at Elle for two seconds because of her husband. B really could have rubbed Kelly’s face in these facts, but never did. And, let’s not forget Kelly hurled insult after insult at at B on that yaht. Again, nothing B ever said to Kelly came close on the meanness meter. Not close.
‘And she owned up to making a bad decision to go and was embarrassed by her behavior’
Wrong again. Kelly feigned contrition on Bravo’s blog but had an entirely different tune on Twitter and in interviews, where she blamed the women for her own despicable behavior, took very nasty below the belt pot shots at Bethenny, and generally defended and deflected responsibility for her behavior at every turn. And, if you watched the previews on Bravo, Kelly lies through her teeth, repeatedly, when recounting the yaht debacle to Luann and Jill. This is not a contrite woman. It’s Kelly doing what she always does-the crazy, the paranoid, the delusional, the narcissist and the pathological liar. She’s the big bully. No one else even comes close.
Completely agree about the ‘nasty below the belt potshots at Bethenny’. For her to say to anyone who just lost their parent (regardless of what the relationship was), ‘no one cares about you!’, says everything there is to say about Kelly.
And yes, she is clearly mentally unstable, but I think that even if she WAS stable she would be just as nasty.
And the reality is, Bethenny is very sharp & witty, and going toe to toe with Kelly is the proverbial duel of wits with the unarmed opponent. Bethenny could have taken her down very easily – bringing up any number of things – but she didn’t.
And al season the narrative Kelly, Jill & Luann have been trying to create is that Bethenny is the nasty one? Nope. Only an idiot would buy that.
I am sorry you find this blog so distasteful Catherine.
I do not think bullying was occuring except in Kelly’s mind. Her meltdown started because she could not handle a discussion about Jill and she spiralled out of control from there. Bethenny indeed was snarky as usual but she had nothing on the sheer meanness that was spewing from Kelly at random. I believe the ladies were truly at a loss for what to do and reacted at times with understandable anger because they did not understand what was happening with Kelly.
As far as taking delight in misery on this blog, far from it. I think most people were very uncomfortable watching Kelly lose control. I for one, feel a lot of compassion for her as well as her family.
Her issues were made public though and did inspire a lot of curiousity. I think people often need to discuss things to process and understand them for themselves. It is not a sign of mental illness to want to explore what makes other people tick. In fact, I think open and honest discussion of mental issues can actually can reduce the stigma associated with them overall.
I wouldn’t bother replying to Catherine. It sounds like Catherine may be Kelly in disguse???
After a few days’ distance from the last two episodes (shudder), Kelly’s maybe-personality disorders notwithstanding, stem from deep-seeded insecurity, physically and/or emotionally. Yes, she was married to Gilles Bensimon, but he was married to ELLE MACPHERSON BEFORE HER, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE,! All she got out of that was his name and his children. She’s the classic case of [in her mind] “big fish, small pond.” In her mind, she’s the shit . She seeks out the company of those (particularly men) who will cater to her ego, plain and simple. She is terrified of Bethenny (not because of any physical threat) because she is no match for her (intellectually or otherwise, in my opinion). In any case, bring on the reunion!
“In any case, bring on the reunion!”
Not until Kelly is on Medication.
You couldn’t get me in the same room with that woman without knowing she’s medicated and body guards Close by.
If this whole season is gonna be about “will Bethenny and Jill kiss and make up”? I couldn’t care less at this point. If they do become friends again, great, awesome. If not, good on Bethenny for not feeling trustful towards Jill. I will admit, those two were great together, but in the end, the green-eyed-monster and Jill’s other issues could sabotage the whole thing. Do you, Jason, and baby Bryn, Bethenny!
Kelly has a drug problem.. i believe its meth from all the smell of cat urine.[thats what i’ve heard on t.v. ] I do agree with this bloggers view that Kelly has a disorder or two. That’s still no excuse for her behavior seeing that in other situations she can handle herself just fine. Example when she’s around any man. Drugs are the main problem imo. In any case she needs to exit the show asap, if not for yourself at least think of your own children.
Kelly get help, your constant jealous obsession with Bethenny is only making you look like a fool not to mention an uneducated idiot. Seek professional help!
Another blog worth checking out:
http://www.techbanyan.com/11000/real-housewives-react-kelly-bensimons-breakdown/
Scroll down to read the diagnosis of “Dr. P. Labinowitz”, who doesn’t think she’s a drug/meth addict, but bipolar. He also has an interesting spin on the “Satchels of gold” remark directed at Bethenny- specifically, that it was an anti-Semitic sneer at Bethenny.
Whoa. Thanks for this link. I see this is making the rounds on various blogs (New York Magazine Housewives blog etc) in the Kelly discussion. Dr. L’s diagnosis was riveting – and very compassionate. A must read for all who are interested in this story….
Kelly’s behavior is very scary to me. Its all irrational and Bravo should not exploit her and the children for ratings. But it can’t have ratings when 80% of the people detest the Jill team. The show has gotten too Jerry Springer sickness.
Speaking of murder coming from a person as Kelly who was arrested for allegedly hitting her boyfriend. Was she found guilty by the way? I think Kelly uses the good ole “tansference” Accuses Bethenny of what she herself thinks and feels. She needs to leave the show and stay far away from Bethenny or Bethenny stay far away from her.
She pled guilty to a lesser charge and completed two days of community service. She did admit that she hit the man who accused her.
I can see the bipolar arguments for Kelly’s behavior but only during this particular incident. I think her mood swings during this are common in all breakdowns at any rate and could easily happen to a PPD during stress.
Her behavior on this vacation would not be justified by calling it rapid cycling bipolar because that what they term someone who goes back and forth just four times in a year, not in less than a week. Even ultra rapid would not be that sudden. For it to be truly bipolar you would have to term it ultra ultra rapid cycling which while possible, is not commonplace. I just don’t think this one incident is enough to say that she is truly bipolar.
We just do not general witness any down periods at other times through this series with Kelly to justify that diagnosis in my opinion. Please share if you can site specific incidents that are not from this trip. Other than this trip I have seen nada but paranoid personality disorder from Kelly and as I have said she was having a breakdown and mood swings can be attributed to that.
Just my two cents but I am sticking with paranoia. For those who cite anecdotal evidence, yes I have seen bipolar in action too and while it can be similar I don’t believe it is the case here.
What about mixed state/mixed episode?
I can actually see that point of view Maggie, definitely makes more sense to me than ultra ultra rapid cycling.
I have really enjoyed the posts here on your blog and read them all a couple times over. I may quote and link to you in my own as a matter of fact but I have a question for you. What is this behavior called:
When kelly turns everything she does around and says it is Bethenny doing it? Like she is being mean and hateful to Bethenny then just clearly in fantasy world says Bethenny is being mean and hateful to her.
I know it has to be defined as some sort of projection, but I want to know exactly what this is because there is a person I know in real life who does this same thing often – actually has many “kelly” traits.
It is called projection and it is very common in paranoid personality disorder.
One explanation for projection is that the ego perceives dysfunction from ‘somewhere’ and then seeks to locate that somewhere. The super ego warns of punishment if that somewhere is internal, so the ego places it in a more acceptable external place – often in convenient other people.
Projection turns neurotic or moral anxiety into reality anxiety, which is easier to deal with. Projection also helps justify unacceptable behavior, for example where a person claims that they are sticking up for themselves amongst a group of aggressive other people, like Kelly is doing.
Thank you very much – I just now saw that there was a reply to this. Your explanation is very helpful to me and even rings more true in description with this person I know. They can even make you start to wonder if in fact it’s “you” that’s the crazy one.
You sort of see that in this episode at the Breakfast table too. When Bethenny is asking everyone if they are seeing the same movie as her.
I’d really love to see your analysis of some of the New Jersey housewives.
this seemed to begin the first week kelly joined the show with bethanny going after her with her sharpest tongue. i thought that kelly tried to difuse it at first but to no avail, bethanny kept it up. this season it seemed to turn toxic with bethanny becoming the victim. while i really like bethanny i almost feel that she activated this but doesn’t know how to control it. she never really understood that kelly’s problems run much deeper than just ignoring women while she flirts with their boyfriends. they have been playing with fire and for some reason, kelly just became unhinged and took it all to another level from the beginning of this trip. maybe kelly saw bethanny’s vulnerability, not realizing that she still can have that acid, tho hilarious, tongue and got herself in too deep and flipped. i pity anyone who takes on bethanny, she’s a master and i do adore her but seriously, don’t mess with that if you’re verbally challenged.
I respectfully disagree – strongly.
Bethenney is very very smart. And astute. She picked up on Kelly’s “obsurdity”, from Day one of Kelly’s joining the HW series last year. Now, Bethenney probably could not exactll identify what was ‘wrong’ with Kelly or diagnose her – but Bethenney was clearly picking up on something mighty adrift with Kelly KB. Bethenney is the porverbial ‘smartest person in the room’ (speaking metaphorically). That is one of the things that has sent Kelly – over time in this series – sent her overboard with Bethenny – which she labels ‘attack’ . I think Bethenney Frankel is most likely one of the few people in Kelly’s adulthood – who calls her out on her bullshit – meaning – she stands up to her – corrects her on any lies, mispeaks, malaprops, narcissism, and general ridiculousness. Kelly Killoren Bensimon has most likely never been truthfully stood up to by her handlers – freinds, family, colleagues, hangers on , wannabes, …she is indeed the Empress with No Clothes. There’s no ‘there’ – there.
It is that – coupled with whatever other disorders or drug addictions that has made Kelly crazy with wrath about Bethenney.
I left a comment on one of your posts last week. Umm…that was before I saw this vacation meltdown episode, which I watched last night. That was next level; I was so unprepared for the show-down. I don’t know how they didn’t just look at the camera guys and say ‘stop taping’ and then do whatever it is you do when someone has a breakdown like that. Although, I don’t think we know what really went on behind the scenes or what really goes on between these women…I have a feeling that the creators of the show tell them when to start fights and get conversation going. Sometimes (not this episode because I think it genuinely takes the cake,) you can tell when they’ve been told to go in and say something rude or argumentative for the sake of the drama. Anyone else agree?
YES I do think the creators instigate or plan ‘fights’- like when Alex chose to confront Jill at Ramona’s thing. It seemed totally staged. No real adult with common sense (which i feel Alex generally displays) would do that and none of the other HW seemed really shocked – including Jill. Like they were prefaced – this what is going to happen. Be ready…
Likewise when Ramona said mean things on the bridge – it seemed kinda like they told her to do it. Because then after all of that they were just like OK! Lets get lunch. If someone said that crap to me in such a hostile manner I would immediately leave! I mean who knows it could have been the result of several convos in the same vein and Ramona being fed up combined with bad editing, but yeah…
I agree the Kelly thing did not seemed staged. I was also wondering why they didn’t turn the cameras off or the HW didn’t request they were turned off. Maybe they did when it got really bad (everyone on the trip commented we hadn’t seen the worst of it… ) Or maybe they simply were so caught up in the crazy they forgot the cameras were there. I mean can you imagine being in that situation? I would be so shocked I would be acting like Alex with my mouth hanging open just stupefied.
i agree. it’s the old ‘tell me what’s going on in your life’. very fake and all of the shows use it to get the action going. i’m surprised they didn’t turn off the cameras, turn the boat around and edit the show. seriously this isn’t going to help kelly with whatever is wrong with her. …..as much as it was fascinating. it was just sad and pathetic….
That episode made my head hurt. The only thing that I could think of is that the women had better sleep with the doors locked and one eye open. I couldn’t believe how irrational she was when Bethenny gave everyone a “care package”.
Personally, I think that she is a self-absorbed idiot with no regard for anyone’s feelings. Trust me, I am not a touchy-feely person. I will tell you how I feel and what I think, but there is a time and place for everything. Kelly doesn’t appear to know that.
Her ex-husband needs to put down his camera and get his daughters away from her as soon as possible.
after watching this for a second time, and having read all these comments, I have come to the conclusion that Kelly just has a REALLY shitty personality. I don’t think she’s high, or on drugs, she’s just is really, really stupid, and narcistic and attention-whore. All that and her shitty personality, explaines everything to me.
I think they ended the show with the dinner party because that’s when the onsite Bravo personnel finally figured out this was getting weird. When Sonja stepped up and said it was like talking to a brick wall, and chemical imbalance, the cast members and the crew collectively said Oh Shit.
I’m sure there was a producer madly making arrangements for Kelly’s exile. Meanwhile, she was probably running around the villa all night crying and screaming at people for bullying her while they cowered behind locked doors.
When she awoke the next day I’ll bet Kelly acted like nothing was wrong (I’m going to smile now! hii!), and gladly accepted the show’s first class travel arrangements to get her away from those mean bitches.
The one thing that you seemed to avoid saying is that Kelly is delusional. She has lost touch with reality. This is a true psychotic meltdown and not just some let’s fix it disorder. She is either doing drugs or she needs some proper medications because the woman is scary psycho.
I must say that I am amazed at the quality and respect of all the responses. This blog is full of intelligent people-all who really did see the illness that Kelly displayed openly on the show. I’ve often watched the show and never could really put my finger on what was wrong with her. I too, at some point just thought she was “full of herself”‘– but after last evening’s show it really became apparent. I sincerely hope that the producer’s of this show help her in all ways possible. I believe she is someone who really needs to be in a hospital receiving treatment- not on T.V.
Your assessment of Kelly seems to me ‘right on the money’ and I am only speaking from the ‘common sense’ angle. What bothers me is the BRAVO people Keeping her on the show. If she can truly become dangerous, that would not be a housewife I would want to be around. duh! She has seldom had a coherent conversation with someone and often says things ‘off the wall’ in return.
IF BRAVO knew of her ‘problem’ beforehand, SHAME on them for putting the other housewives in potential harm’s way. Can you imagine Bethanny wanting Kelly ANY where around herself while pregnant? Can you imagine Bethanny wanting Kelly ANY where Near her baby? BRAVO needs to remove/excuse Kelly from the show and get her admitted to a facility some where. (Where is her children’s FATHER in all of this? Those girls are more sane than Kelly is and make Way More Sense than she ever does) Perhaps even Child Services need to be involved in this situation. This is a serious situation, in my opinion.
How much can Bravo do? What gets me are her loved ones and ex-husband who do nothing. I can get why her staff does nothing, their jobs and careers are on the line, but people who are really supposed to care about her? In the real world? Unless, they are just as messed up as she is. Drunk with power and privilege . . . and just simply fatuous.
How much can Bravo Do?….it’s on their station. If they don’t want an assault suit or worse, (should Kelly go off the ‘deeper end’ than what was shown while on ‘vacation’), you would think they would talk to the people that need talking to and tell them that Kelly has to GO.
From what I have heard, the ladies woke up the next morning and Kelly had been spirited away. Kelly says in some previews that she took time to *rest* after coming back, but I am wondering if that was in a hospital mental ward (?) To this day she still doesn’t think she caused any of that mess, so it’s obvious she is not getting help. Having her on the reunion show would be a mistake, I think; I see the potential for another big meltdown. I would also not put it past Bravo to put a mentally challenged person on the show for ratings 😦 We also see it on the form of Danielle. I used to like Bravo, but it appears they have seen dollars signs in Jenny Jones (remember her and the guy that got murdered after one of her expose shows?) type of material.
Let me start by saying I’m sorry for how I feel and I said it once and I’ll say it again, that was the most delicious slice of heaven I have ever seen on reality TV. I loved every minute of it and can’t wait until it comes on tonight. Kelloco appears to have mental issues as well as substance abuse problems. Her mood swings are perfectly timed with her disappearances and then there’s the funny smell. I looked very closely at all the women (during dinner) and Kelloco was the only one sweating like a pig (the glare was so bright I could barely see the screen) which is a sure sign of doing something. Do you think we will ever find out what happened on that island? Who do you think will spill the beans??
i was in a restaurant for lunch today that is owned by one of the women who will be on The Housewives of Beverly Hills. The owner was there and I wanted to walk up to her and say get off of that show, nothing good comes from exposing yourself on a reality show :o). Gorgeous restaurant tho.
You are spot on in your assessment, and I feel so much better knowing how many others were deeply affected by Kelly’s behavior in this episode. My jaw was on the floor pretty much for the entire hour. Thank you for your write-up!
Great post and fascinating topic. The whole “1979” thing gave me pause too, especially when she has mentioned 4th grade at least twice — once regarding the “complaint pad” on the episode, and again in the article in the NY Post. Seems odd that by my calculations, 1979 is about when she would have been in fourth grade. Curiouser and curiouser, as they say.
interesting observation.
I believe that in an earlier episode this past season Kelly made a similar comment to the “it’s so 1979″ except she said 1969 instead of 1979. I believe she was referring to the whole Summer of Love/Woodstock phenomenon but she got the year mixed up when she tried to say it again while they were on vacation (like so many other things that she got mixed up that evening).
WHAT is UP with her not even admitting she had a meltdown on last night’s episode (with Jill and Luann)??? Ok, so she’s embarassed. She’s trying to save face. Did she FORGET that they were rolling a tape documenting the whole thing?
When she watches it she just snorts another line and talks to her personal assistant about how great she is and how evil Bethenny is and voila! All gone! Bad thing wiped away!
Take a look at this… Just a thought…
http://www.kci.org/meth_info/msg_board_posts/030106/Smell%20of%20Meth%20from%20sweating.htm
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angelofdevs…
why do you think Kelly had a meltdown when she saw Bethany’s personalized gift bag? She had such an allergy to Bethany that she couldn’t even rationally handle that Bethany isn’t an evil gorgon, after all.
Also, I can’t imagine what Kelly’s reaction would have been if Bethany didn’t have a gift bag for her!
I think the gesture of kindness by Bethenny gave Kelly a shock. She read it as evil because she sees everything Bethenny does as evil. If this gesture were to read kindness to Kelly’s brain she would have to reevaluate everything which would be very uncomfy to her psyche. It would mess with her protective coping measure of projection.
I’ve read through all of the comments, and I don’t think it’s been touched on–the fact that Kelly went to Columbia University?? Ever since hearing that the first time, i’ve been quite incredulous. I mean, especially when watching the show and hearing some of the things that come out of her mouth—-thats not Ivy League speak, methinks. Anyway, after reading through some of the comments about her possibly being schizo-affective bi-polar, it reminded me of something. About 5 years ago I went out with a guy for about 8 months. One night at the end of our relationship he had a total break and spoke of “Bob Marley being in the sky tonight” and he had to come over my house right away to “protect me from the demons”. So obvs, I was freaked and said nooooo, do not come over now. Long story short, he came over anyway, forced his way in my house, got violent with me but said he was just potecting me from demons, police came, his parents were contacted and they broke it to me that night that he had been diagnosed schizo-affective bi polar years before and had similar incidents happen in the past with other girls and friends. So, for eight months I did not know this about him, until this huge break, athough he was previously diagnosed. I still don’t know if this was because he had been taking his meds up until then or if he actually just has long cylcles between breaks; I visited him a couple times at the private pysch hospital he spent time at after that episode and asked him if he had been on meds during our relationship and got both yes and no answers, so who knows? But to bring this back around to the Kelly/Columbia thing: so many friends and family commented on how “dim” or “daft” they thought he was while I was going out with him, couldn’t understand how I could be with someone like that. SO, turns out he was technically a genius(very high IQ), got a full scholarship to a prestigious college, had to drop out his freshman year because thats when his mental illness started to rear its head, and it interfered with his ability to keep up with schoolwork, etc. My observation is that while Kelly may seem “daft” herself, if she is indeed bi-polar or otherwise severely mentally ill, perhaps she actually is quite smart. It is well known that some of the worlds greatest creative minds are also schizophrenic, bi-polar, depressed, etc. I’m not saying this is true in Kelly’s case, and girl needs major help either way, i’m just throwing it out there since I hadn’t seen it mentioned yet.
Kelly went to Columbia’s “School of General Studies.” That’s NOT the same as the university itself. Sort of like the “night school” division.
Ah, thanks for clearing that up!
General Studies is NOT night school. It is a seperate division for non-traditional students. A lot of veterans and ex-actors and models go there. Not defending Kelly, but it is not night or extension school.
“School of General Studies” IS a little like extension classes, more so than night school or regular admission.
As for mentally ill geniuses, there are studies linking organic (axis 1) mental illnesses with genius, but personality disorders do not usually have the link. Also the genius is usually demonstrable, unless the person is taking psycho-pharmaceuticals that affect the language center, thus making them sound stupid. I do NOT think Kelly is a genius… she got into Columbia as an affirmative action admission for models. J/k.
This will sound ‘off the wall’, but I just saw the episode again of Kelly calling Jill. On the bed in front of her is a white card. Any one notice it? I swear, almost every time she spoke to Jill, she first looked down at that card. Scripted? Got to wonder.
“You can’t handle the truth!, ” jokes Bethanny, quoting Jack Nicholson from “A Few Good Men,’ but to crazy Kelly’s ears, she thinks it’s a quote by, “OMG, Al Sharpton! Al Sharpton!!
Mistaking Al Sharpton for Nicholson tells you how crazy she is.
I was very impressed with SJP suggesting mental health or MD’s. I was seriously disturbed by Kelly’s actions and thought she should have her contract bought out. Kelly has been strange since the beginning. I have a psych degree and dealt with all kinds of people as a teacher and principal, but she just was so much more out there than any other Housewives I’ve watched inspite of my general feeling of “what world are these ‘friends” from?” on all of the shows. I love Bethanny for her quick wit and insight, not to mention how accomplished she has become, obviously all on her own with no or crazy role models. She is a survivor. Her first response is to be generous and patient with the slow and narcissistic, but she has apparently learned to be wary of “crazies” (as she must think of them with no psych training). She got off on the wrong foot with Kelly because Kelly pretends to ignore the women and remember the men, and Bethanny took exception as many women do. The high pitched Hi, Bye, Cute, etc. seemed to me to try to sound younger than her natural voice sounds, to act younger, and perhaps to sound more feminine. She often walks very manly when she is unaware of it, looks hard. I thought she might actually be a transsexual except for the kids. I thought that she was physically attracted to Bethanny and maybe other females so she feigns no interest. She also tries really hard (Max) to appear to love men and flirt with them. She has apparently gotten away with the quick stops at parties which entailed no deep conversations, and makes an issue often about why she makes short stops at parties. When she was so late to the Halloween party I thought drugs. I understand that meth burns holes in the brain that do not regenerate, unlike some of the brain effects of other drugs She often jumps around in thought like she has a swiss cheese brain. There are times that she is warmly complimentary to the others and I want them to acknowledge those times more effusively, but the blood is so bad now that they seem oblivious. I have been unable to make sense of Kelly socially, psychologically, physiologically, or even in the puppetry that is being exposed on shows like The Hills. But I know severely disturbed behavior and was somaticaaly affected by what is being allowed to be aired. Cheers to Bethanny-she has been a breath of fresh air and deserves good things in the second half of her life. Jill has been unbearable and makes me hate women with jealousy issues. She is smart so I hope she can redeem herself. In defense of her I watched her sisiter demean her on her radio show interview by getting her to say the reason she has done so well was because she wasn’t popular-ouch! Then the mom, sis and Jill interaction was full of subtexts and tag teaming while discussing the book. Those interactions in that triad are the story. Thanks for the blogs. I needed some help with possible theories.
this was the best description I’ve read. I agree with everything, things I think to myself, you articulated. Kellly IS manly, and Bethanny is a survivor and self-made. Bethany reminds me of Rhoda, so that’s why I inherently like her.
Rhoda! Yes!
Lots of great insight! Great diagnoses as well. I think we’re all on the same page.
I’m wondering what the Thank You note was that Sonja was carrying in the scene with the cell phone/daughters before the Salsa/Martini/Dinner said. In the background someone asks what the envelope and Sonja says it’s a Thank you note from Kelly, but nothing ever was mentioned after that.
Kelly is clearly disturbed, and projecting everything she does onto everybody else. She should no longer be on this show and around other people, including her own kids.
Meth, probably. Transvestite, could be – hasn’t slipped by me either.
She’s a lost soul; lost in time, lost in reality, and lost in her own mirror. She’s too stuck on herself to see anyone else in the room, especially when women call it like it is – Bethanny nailed it: “You can’t handle the truth!” without having to “put up her hair” like Al Sharpton. What an idiot!
AND – she’s trying to protray herself as a “good girl” and Never having one-night, unprotected sex (who said anything about unprotected sex?) while she’s splayed in Playboy (March 2010) wearing a dominatrix outfit. Does she not remember taking hundreds of pictures naked? Contradicts her own portrayal of her delusional self.
I agree with everything you stated…and her playboy pictures were sick!
or as i like to call it, her professional virgin image. this chicks opened her legs more than a duncan phyfe table.
This blog is genius. People laugh at me when I tell them I watch this show, but I can’t help but believe years from now, if not sooner, it will be studied in college psych classes. What fascinates me is what motivates people to be on these shows and be complicit in their own ridicule. It’s always interesting how they change in year two, after seeing how they’re portrayed on TV. A lot of it is editing and storytelling, but their is a basic core to their personalities.
I would love to hear your thoughts on:
Gretchen – in her second season she seemed to be very aware of creating a caring image to counteract gold digger image from her first season.
Slade – total man-whore?
Ramona – she seems totally whack, but also not preconceived, like she lives in the moment and not for TV.
Luann – completely delusional and opportunistic?
Alexis – you can’t help but love big fake christian boobs!
NAILED IT! She’s NUTS.. want some real entertainment? Read her tweets where she claims it’s all scripted! @kikilet is her twitter name
Some other thoughts I posted elsewhwere.
Bethanny is an extraordinary self-made success story with no family support and in a sharkpool in NY. She is fragile but some people only see the sharp-tongued wit which I find amusing and am envious of. I think most people wish their brains were that fast. She is patient with slow-witted KIND people and doesn’t pretend that all acquaintances are FRIENDS. She is the most exciting real person on TV. I would love to see her daily but she does have a life. I think Jason’s sweetness and kindness are what Bethanny needs for her baby and life. She will find wit and additonal mental stimulation where we all find it in the world. You don’t have to suck the life out of your spouse to narcissistically fulfill all of your needs, probably as many divorcees have learned. Bethanny is a whole, completely formed adult (had to be and probably too soon in life) for whom Jason and Bryn are icing on the cake. I share Bethanny’s reaction to totally absurd, incomprehensible conversations-I too am turned unhinged by the bizarro, wondering if anyone else is seeing the same picture and why are they acting and responding as if anything even remotely sane was just said. Jill’s treatment of Bethanny is criminally cruel, especially knowing as much as she knows about Bethanny. Jill is strong, smart, and capable in her own right and could have used those talents to do something big in time, but she has not developed herself like Bethanny had to. The interplay with Jill’s mom and sis is full of subtle knife stabbings and jealousy such as Jill turned to in spades this year. Her sis got her to say on her radio program that the reason she has become so successful is because she wasn’t popular in her youth. Lisa beamed and said “YES” with great glee. The 3 in bed took turns forming of 2 against the other, and mom was just scary with power. Not that sweet lady who promised to look out for Bethanny. All made me embarrassed to be a woman. Kelly’s contract should have been bought out, with a bonus if she seeks help. Watching her makes me feel bad about myself for watching the show. However I am so glad to have “met” Bethanny. Now that is a hero to emulate.
Again, I disagree with your analysis. KKB’s issues do not appear as a traditional long-standing personality disorder. Individuals with PPD have difficulty establishing relationships with anyone and tend to be suspicious of everyone and everything, not specific individuals. They certainly wouldn’t agree to pose in Playboy. Instead, we are seeing sporadic and erratic behavior. She strikes me more as either a person suffering from psychosis secondary to a bipolar manic state or possible substance use (generally for manic psychosis we’d consider cocaine or amphetamines). Yes, she’s had a problem with Bethenny for a long time, but the real crazy didn’t come out until this trip… her speech was nonsensical at times and pressured (the others couldn’t even get a word in edge-wise), her thought process was disorganized, and she was more grandiose than normal.
the disorganization is one of the many reasons I think it was a temporary paranoid schizophrenia
Very entertaining blog everyone BUT I’m REALLY having trouble with people calling for a diagnosis of bipolar. The preeminent syllable being “bi” as in two. Yes, we all see the mania, but where is Kelly’s depression? I would strongly argue that her perceived “rapid cycling” or “mixed state” during the vacation was all part of a manic state. Severe agitation, aggression, and hyper annoyance (crying over gift bags) are MANIC features, NOT depressed features.
From what we saw on the island, it’s much more likely she has manic disorder than a case of bipolar.
That said, I can see the paranoid features of her personality (ALL the way through the series, not just in St. John), so I fully support a call of PPD. She is threatened by EVERY woman, not just B (doesn’t acknowledge women she’s met many times, wouldn’t admit that she, too, had dated Max either time Sonja mentioned him, etc.)
Please fill us in on your opinion of Luanne. I think you hinted at this analysis in an earlier post. Personally, I think Bethenny’s characterization of her as a “snake” is right on, but this is unfortunately no diagnosis.
Is there a proper personality diagnosis for her type? She seems completely narcissistic, with no empathy for others, yet she is clever enough to seem empathetic when she wants to be. In short, she seems to be the complete behind the scenes “manipulator”. Always egging Jill and Kelly on in whatever schemes or tantrums their little heated psyches have dreamed up. I think it was she who may have planted into Kelly the tale of Bethenny’s “planting” detrimental news stories about Kelly’s children. And she can always be counted on to add her digs into the victim of the day (usually Bethenny). Don’t forget that at the beginning of this season, it was Luanne who started to stir things up bringing her grudges and nastiness into otherwise pristine and pleasant social occasions.
What about when Bethanny said she saw grapes in the refriderator and would stomp them to make wine and Kelly took the comment literally. There are many examples of this ‘quirk’ in her personality.
Too, too literal … possible asperger’s syndrome?
I was so interested to read your commentary on PPD. I know bipolar very well and was not reading it in Kelly. I was wondering about Borderline but was unsure of that as well. It just didn’t seem right. Funny how I wanted to peg the behavior in watching the episodes. So much easier to deal with crazy when you understand it well enough.
Until now I was not informed about PPD and it seems to explain everything. Thanks. I’ll know it when I come across it. Best of luck to family members of people with this illness. I think I’d rather bipolar. This PPD is off the charts.
Any thought on the general lack of knowledge and intelligence Kelly is prone to display? How does that fit in? Is childhood abuse connected to this disorder? I found Kelly’s comments about negligent father’s interesting in that she says a lot of people experience the same thing. Perhaps she is speaking about her own experience.
I thought she was displaying symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia – she was having delusions: Bethenny’s “smear campaign” against her and her children, and let’s not forget Kelly saying “you attacked my friend Gwyneth, Gwyneth Paltrow.” Delusions of grandeur…
Paranoid schizophrenia can be temporarily brought on by drug abuse… possibly mixing her medication with all that white wine? (Pinot Grigio!) She HAS to be on meds
As an ‘old psych nurse’ I actually think that it is likely that Ramona and the girls had to involve the authorities to remove Kelly from the vacation villa. At least one of the girls’ blogs mentioned that each of the girls locked themselves into their rooms that night as they feared for their safety due to Kelly’s irrational and paranoid behavior. I would have locked my door too after hearing her tell Alex that she was channeling the devil and/or that Bethenny’s tongue looked like it was full of knives and that she couldn’t understand why Jason would want to kiss her with that tongue. She also said that she dreamed that Bethenny tried to kill her by repeatedly stabbing her with a knife. As Kelly told the girls this, she even raised her hand and then lowered it to demonstrate a rapid and repeated knifing. When she did this her entire facial expression changed in a scary way. She also described seeing Bethenny’s face as frightening and that it was a ‘bright white’ and in direct contrast to her ‘black, black hair’. I think I also recall her saying that in her mind, Bethenny looked like a ‘kabuki”.
I imagine that when the authorities arrived at the villa and assessed the situation, they offered Kelly two options —– to take her directly to a local hospital for psychiatric care or to book her on the next flight back to NYC with the condition that she seek psychiatric care there. I further believe that the authorities most likely accompanied Kelly to the airport, that they supervised her boarding and that they were instrumental in ensuring that Kelly was to be in the care of her parents when she got back to the city. The girls may not have known this since once the authorities removed her from the villa; the girls weren’t there to directly observe what happened next. Their main concerns were trusting their gut instincts for self preservation, getting themselves out of harms way by removing any possible threats as well as concern that Kelly’s mental health be evaluated and that she be in a place where she couldn’t harm herself or anyone else.
You may recall that both Ramona and Bethenny called Jill that night asking her to pick up or at least check on Kelly as soon as she got home. You may also recall that in her blog, Kelly said that she and her girls stayed with her parents upon her return. I don’t remember her ever mentioning her parents or any other family members.
You may also recall that Jill did not check on Kelly as her primary focus was as always………………Jill! After all she was planning to ‘surprise’ Ramona and the girls by gracing them with her presence for a one-day stop over before she and Bobby hopped to another island. I do remember Jill saying that she did see Kelly through the airplane window when she and Bobby arrived on the island in their private plane and prior to Kelly’s departure from the island.
Don’t let me get started on Jill! She is one of those people who ‘just doesn’t get it’. Did she really expect that the women would welcome her with open arms given her repeated mistreatment of them? The sad thing is that she probably did think that they would welcome her. To Jill, the world revolves around her. I was however, surprised and disappointed that Bobby seemed to expect that they would both be welcomed. Certainly Bobby was more welcome than Jill.
Maybe Jill did pick up Kelly but was asked not to say anything. Not defending Jill in any way – i think she is a self-absorbed twat – but as a social worker who deals with these kind of issues, confidentiality is a big concern when dealing with peoples’ mental health, diagnoses, etc. Jill may have met her at the airport, seen her to her parents and been instructed by authorities, family, Kelly herself, whatever not to mention that exchange. Just as Ramona, et al did not mention they likely called the authorities and contacted Jill for support until well after the incident. It is just totally upsetting that it does not appear that Kelly received much help resulting from the incident.
I really worry about her kids! Where is their father – I sincerely hope he is intervening!
Perhaps Bravo tried to keep it low key to avoid too much negative press. Who knows…
A study on Kelly, this is so fabulous!
The dialogue in her head is self-debasing as her reactions seem to be defensive;
Lunch with the girls, she mistook the “..work hard for us” for “…are hard on us” and genuinly not understanding “stomping on grapes” “let your hair down”, and numerous other expressions or simple statements, she hears threats where they don’t exist. Her daughter writing things down may be for C L A R I F I C A T I O N, maybe it worked because Kelly introduced a “complaint” jar!
Intimacy-a real dilemma with her, Bobby opened up about Ployboy as a kid, her reaction was “…that’s creepy”, introduced to Jill’s daughter with arthritis an innapropriat “cool”-oops, for the charity work, not being sick. The conversation is being played out in her head long after the actions so they don’t line up. Sadly in that particular society bubble she relies on blogs and facebook for feedback that can be awfully vicious. Yes, “chatter”, “white noise”, “just stoo-oop” and “zip it”. Intimacy lacking so much she couldn’t allow an apology with Ramona and Bethany. “Tongues” and “knives”.
Is she a danger? She does percieve threats that do not exist and is very antagonistic. Putting that all on a boat with camera men, candy, booze, a pregesterone emiter and no familial support, yikes.
Linking Kelly’s notepad idea to her daughter writing out all of her communication was very insightful. A therapist may have encouraged C (SEA?) to communicate in writing with her mom as a means of reducing the anxiety a child would experience with trying to have a reality-based conversation with a Mad Hatter for a mom. If we adults are all thrown off kilter by her bizarre speech/thought patterns, can you imagine a child trying to look for guidance, reasoning, rationale, cause/effect guidance that may jump from Miss Manners, platitudes, self-delusions as examples, and finally those “Stop, zip it, or the closing hand sign?” Kelly seems to see herself sometimes as this Catholic school girl who says things like “I don’t drink (that one slays me because she often says it with a drink inher hand), I don’t gossip, I’m nice to everyone, I don’t sleep around, etc.” as if she’s telling her dad (?) what a good girl she is-it’s a little Manchurian Candidate implanted inner dialogue. Then other times she plays up a Columbia U. degree (which I gratefully appreciate hearing that there is a school of hard knocks version) that no doubt provides a great opportunity for life experiences to be valued, at a profit to the school, and lets possibly dyslexic people like Kelly maybe have a better sense of self. However anyone could have helped her ghostwrite the resume for which she was given credit. When she makes a somewhat cogent explanation or excuse on the afterthoughts, I always think someone coached her to recover some of her dignity by trying to give semi-rational explanation for clearly bizarre conversation and actions. Before finding this blog that refers to the blogging Kelly does, I actually thought that maybe she or her family may have hired a pr or coach for her, but maybe she gets some of the excuses off the blogs. Kelly is like most people who could not keep up with Bethanny’s quick mind-few could! But Kelly should just quit butting her head against the wall because she ends up with the adult version of a six year old’s “you are too,” or “nyah, nyah, nyah.” In today’s parlance she may also be Asperger’s Syndrome and is trying hard to emulate “normal.” Just kindness, humility, and a sense of humor could help resuscitate her public image, if she can maintain. She needs serious help and putting her with so many narcissists allowed the extent of her problem to get overlooked because the others aren’t listening, just thinking about what they’ll say next, except for Bethanny the Listener who couldn’t have been more shocked at her Mad Hatter ways than if Kelly had two live wire hooked up to Bethanny with the control button in Kelly’s hand. The juxtaposition will go down in TV history. Can’t wait for thereunion.
Thank you for your speculative assessment of Kelly Bensimon’s fragile mental state. I watch the show for entertainment, there is something about seeing the supposedly “elite” with everything (monetary) struggle with real life problems that those of us without millions of $’s do too. uppity teenagers, badly behaved dogs, divorce….. While I’m aware that there is considerable editing, that there are often ‘storylines” or suggestions if you’ve watched long enough & closely you are able to see these personality traits that are obviously true to the person. Even Meryl Streep wouldn’t have been able to pull off this type of “acting”, for the most part-it’s real. and that’s why we like it. I think that is also why people have had such a strong response to the upsetting episode where Kelly clearly had a breakdown of some sort. Even for someone with a clear pattern of odd behavior, it was off the charts. It was disturbing & scary to watch someone melt down & it’s part of human nature to try and make sense of something so odd that leaves you feeling upset. So, thank you for your take & for the other thoughtful, intelligent responses to your article. This isn’t about tearing someone down, it’s about trying to gain some insight.
Personally, I’ve been confused & concerned about Kelly since the beginning. Her behavior- inability to focus, never grasping what was being said (I appreciate your mentioning the scene in the restaurant pre-playboy when her little girl said,”you work so hard for us” & Kelly, even though she was looking right at the girl & leaned into the conversation totally misinterprets that sweet statement & responds with, “oh, thanks a lot” heavy on the sarcasm! How confusing & upsetting it must be for a child to not be heard/understood/appreciated for their kind words, and as this happens constantly in just about every conversation we have seen Kelly try and have I would guess that these little girls have this experience frequently. I totally understand why she would resort to writing it down instead, that was smart.) as well as her disjointed responses, that weird high-pitched, “hiiiiiiiiiiiiii”, always flitting in-out, can’t stay anywhere because she has to be somewhere else even for planned events- all of this reminds me of a former friend of mine that it turns out had both a mental problem AND a drug problem. The odd behaviors were there all of the time but, when she was using drugs too it was like someone turned her manic dial from 3 to 10. not on drugs, back to a 3-4. I, of course, have no idea if Kelly is using drugs, I’m just saying that the similarity is stunning. This is a person with tons of experience traveling the world as a model & wife no doubt with an entourage of any # of people. She lives in one of the busiest, stressful cities in the world. She wasn’t plucked off a farm in Indiana & thrown into a unprecedented, never before experienced stressful situation. She was on a luxury yacht & villa with private space, sun, sand, the ability to exercise…..the point being that if anything, this was an environment to relax & enjoy, not some horrible goulag that would make a person feel stressed & tortured. Kelly’s erratic behavior was antagonistic, she interrupted almost every conversation, continually insulted Bethenny & then when confronted (as one is apt to do when being called a hobag or told that their career isn’t real or that no one cares about them) she couldn’t rationally explain her feelings or why she was saying the things she said. In looking at the episode again I couldn’t see one instance where Kelly was bullied, but rather that she was doing the bullying. (thus her misguided “PSA” is insulting to the other women but, more importantly to those who have actually endured bullying). The dinner was the cherry on the crazy cake. My personal speculation is that she was self-medicating at that point, with something-something that cranked her already odd behavior up to implosion level. The friend I mentioned above with similar behaviors used cocaine & when under the influence of such had such an escalation of her already challenging behaviors that no one could stand to be around her, so she would isolate, then burst back in….. I didn’t read anyone else mentioning it but, in an earlier episode where the women are at a health spa waiting for massages they were all sharing stories from their divorce’s etc & Kelly said that after her kids were born she had “really bad anxiety. I thought terrible things were going to happen all of the time. I almost never even left the house”. I was surprised a t the time that no one picked up on that, or made much mention of it. That was a clue from her past that she had experienced at least one other serious mental health crisis.
I’m curious to know if you had considered PTSD in evaluating Kelly. To me many of her behaviors suggest a childhood trauma that remains unresolved, many of her behaviors are that of a kid, a kid who stalled out developmentally due to some sort of trauma. She wants to focus on sunshine & cartwheels & not feel real emotion, because it triggers her.
I hope it isn’t too much to hope for but, the best outcome for this troubling situation is for Kelly to receive the help she needs & to find the courage to share with an already watching world what her actual struggles are & the treatment she has found. There are many instances where a celebrity with very human struggles shares them with the public and in doing so inspire others to seek help also.
I would LOVE to hear your take on Kate Gosselin!! I have been deeply disturbed by that woman’s behavior long before any divorce drama unfolded. Please, please, please share your thoughts/insight on Kate!!!
Thanks & sorry this is so long!!
I really & truly think she may have some kind of meth amphetemine addiction… she is so jittery and always moving/bopping around quickly, unable to sit still. She never eats any real food. At restaurants she always orders just a drink and picks at things and then scarfs candy/sugar. Her thought patterns are totally illogical. The cat pee comment by Sonja on the boat. She seems desperate to get away from people at odd times and then returns shortly later visibly on edge.
I think she is abusing some sort of drug. She may also have a mental issue too.
I’m curious what you think about the potential diagnosis of Schizotypal Personality Disorder. I assume you considered & discarded that one, since it’s also in Cluster A.
I’m thinking that she has a Cluster A PD (be it schizotypal or PPD) plus substance-induced psychotic disorder either from intoxication or withdrawl. It could be withdrawl, if she didn’t bring her supply with her on vacation. I’m really beginning to think that she uses meth, which exacerbates her personality instability.
Awesome site & awesome analysis! I myself can’t seem to distinguish whether she’s got a personality disorder or bipolar or whether it’s meth producing the symptoms of the first two…At the very worst, it could be all three.
If you want to read more of her weirdness, I found this place that has a whole bunch of quotes from Kelly.
http://www.prettyandstupid.com/idiot/176
You don’t think she is BiPolar?
I knew someone a long time ago who was BiPolar and acted very similar to what we see from Kelly. Just wondering what your thoughts were on this.
“Kelly” needs to get in touch more with his feminine side as he still looks and acts like a man – a good example of a transvestite gone wrong.
Very Good !!! I would be VERY surprised if THIS topic were brought up during the Reunion ! I swear, though, with the way she replies to questions or things said during a conversation, got to wonder if she’s Hearing well or if her brain is not processing the words she’s heard quick enough for her to respond Rationally and with Relevance…since her replies are so UNrelated to the topic sometimes !
I get better responses from my dog than Kelly seems to give sometimes. !
I really think that she’s on drugs. How else could she say something like ‘Bethany’s trying to kill me and hurt my kids.’ I’m sure that she does suffer from paranoid personality disorder, but there must be drug use in there somewhere coupled with her mental problems. As far as not understanding anything anyone says and not making any sense when she talks, I think that her education level isn’t much higher than middle school. Sure, she is a graduate of Columbia University, but models/actors/athletes/etc. get through school with private tutors and then easily get into top notch universities where they continue with tutors who get them A’s in all of their classes even though they hardly ever attend. Her low IQ and probable drug use only support the mental disorder.
One thing that puzzles me is when Kelly says something that someone does not understand (because it is So Off The Wall) why don’t they all shut up and ASK HER why she said it? The ‘Al Sharpton’ to Bethenny: why wasn’t Kelly asked Why she brought him up; the way she reacted when she was asked, “Did yours?” (AFTER she had asked Sonja if her husband had cheated on her) and then was Offended that Sonja had asked her in return: why didn’t Sonja come back at her asking why it was ok for Kelly to ask but not Sonja? and the list goes on and on. Why doesn’t anyone make Kelly accountable for what comes out of her mouth?
I think this picture puts Ramona in the clear RE: her perceived inappropriate comments regarding Kelly getting a 2nd boob job.
(I mean, obviously Kelly’s had one boob job and obviously it did not go well.) Ramona is the type to think that any kind of plastic surgery is perfectly appropriate dinner conversation, and given that Kelly’s put them on display… here and in Playboy… Ramona’s not so in the wrong.
Wow, that’s a photo I’d not seen till now. I didn’t think Ramona was in the wrong for saying what she said in the first place, but with Visual Proof, it even rings More True.
For those worried about Kelly’s daughters. Kelly has a good reputation in the Hampton’s as being a great mother and behaving normally with her children. She has a cook and nanny and her X-husband lives in the same building with Kelly in NYC. Kelly cannot relate to people that she feels are beneath her. When Kelly said to Bethenny, “I am up here and you are down here.” she meant it. Kelly wants to dismiss Bethenny from her life but she can’t due to the show so she blames Bethenny for her problems as an excuse for not wanting to be around her. Jill & LuAnn have corrected Kelly and both have spoken to Kelly harshly but Kelly loves them as she feels they are her equal. I think a lot of rude things Kelly said to Bethenny and Alex on the trip were things she had heard Jill and LuAnn say about both of them.
thanks for commenting. you are saying something fresh. a deep seated insecurity probably makes kelly buy in to the nyc status thing without allowing for her to see people just as people. it would explain why her life does work when she keeps it within her realm. i don’t know why she would see jill as an equal as she’s all facade while bethenny is kinda like the popular girl in high school with that wit and style (in my opinion only). i assume she does function well when in her normal circumstances but this was just not the right place for her. she was doomed from the first day as her sensibility is that of contemporary, model, parties , etc. her baggage and her social reality are entirely different than these girls and when they got her number, they really didn’t let up. I love Bethenny but her mouth and ability to control a situation are lethal, she’s got a real talent. Kelly was always like a scared rabbit, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and finally when she went on the offensive, she was set up to fail. plus the fact that responds like a 5 year old. i’m sure my critique is very flawed, i just think she’s in the wrong environment. she should have known herself well enough to know this would be the wrong place for her. she’s not evil, she’s a petulant child.
Alex answered a fan that was worried about Kelly on the trip. Alex said Bravo bought 2 first class tickets one for Kelly and one for one of their producers to take Kelly safely home. The show took care of her. She clearly had a breakdown on the trip.
Great blog post! To clarify one item: I believe that in an earlier episode this past season Kelly made a similar comment to the “it’s so 1979” except she said 1969 instead of 1979. I believe she was referring to the whole Summer of Love/Woodstock phenomenon but she got the year mixed up when she tried to say it again while they were on vacation (like so many other things that she got mixed up that evening).
Very interesting read. Thanks for sharing!
It could have been a simple mistake. I still think her reaction to anything the least bit relating to feelings or introspection is worrisome.
WOW! How do you solve a problem like KKB? Honestly, I don’t think the women intended to jump in during Kelly’s crazy rambling recitation of her prepared “systemic bullying” remarks (Reunion Part 2), but I think it illustrates how difficult and sincerely frustrating it can be to try and deal with an untreated mentally ill person. Even loved one’s get frazzled and fed up sometimes. This just leads to the patient feeling more isolated and able to justify victimization in their head (even though THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR created the hostile environment in the first place.) My Lord, this girl needs HELP!
Fascinating blog!
I echo what Patricia says, above. Every time I see Kelly, I mutter to myself “narcissistic sociopath.” (By the way — I did study psychology in college, though I did not major in it. I also have discussed this with my daughter who is a PSYCH MAJOR at Columbia — yes, really-truly at Columbia University, not working toward some ersatz “continuing education” diploma from Columbia, as we know Kelly has done, whatever she may claim about ehr degree.)
I draw some of my most salient observations re: sociopathy from the work of Robert D. Hare, PhD., who has worked with, studied, and written extensively about sociopaths/psychopaths, especially those who end up incarcerated (NOT among Kelly’s many sins — arrested, yes, but not yet jailed, as far as we know). I also refer to work by Cleckley (sorry, cannot recall his first name just now.) cf. particularly Hare’s well-respected book “Without Conscience.” In the book, Hare discusses his very interesting diagnostic tool, “The Psycopathy Checklist.” (Guess I should add that I don’t know Hare; have never met him; never corresponded with him. I’m not a shill; I just want to cite my sources.)
Here are the salient diagnostic points re: a psycopath :
glib and superficial (Kelly is too dumb to be glib, but affirmative, ma’am! on the “superficial” )
egocentric and grandiose
lack of remorse or guilt / REFUSAL to recognize or accept any responsibility for results of his/her behavior
lack of empathy / uncomfortable with “feelings” / “shallow emotions” / “emotional poverty” (as in Kelly’s sincerely voiced inability to “understand” what “all these feelings” are about; she really does not experience emotion; she knows the vocabulary, but it’s like a color-blind person who knows intellectually that the socks are “green,” but who really knows “green” as merely a word, doesn’t understand the actual color; Kelly doesn’t get the “color” of emotion)
egocentricity
impulsivity
poor behavior controls
from Hare, “Conscience,” p.43 : “In an ironic twist, psycopaths frequently see THEMSELVES as the real victims.” (emphasis is Hare’s original) — How perfectly does THAT describe Kelly Killoren Bensimon ???
Hare describes some additional very interesting attributes of a sociopath — including a tendency that all of us “rational” viewers see in Kelly: A “story line” or “narrative” that is internally inconsistent. There is some brain research to suggest that a psycopath cannot maintain a sort of higher-level continuity of logic. In fact, a psycopath is capable of breathtaking changes of subject, change of reasoning, and bizarre illogic that will merely frustrate a logical, rational thinker or conversationalist. A psycopath may only be able to “handle” little “bit-sized” pieces of thought, and truly cannot see that the pieces do not match each other — are not even drawn from the same box of puzzle pieces. Kelly’s “stories” do not ever flow in a recognizable “line.” And it has proven impossible for anyone to force Kelly to stick to a single subject or even to examine a single bit of “Kelly logic” without Kelly going off in strange, useless directions. (Is Bethenny a “cook” or a “chef” ? When did Bethenny attack Kelly’s children? etc., etc., etc. Too many examples of Kelly’s tangential irrelevancies and changes of topic to choose a best one!) (Of course, if she’s really stuck, Kelly just adopts an attitude of painedcondescension, and scolds Bethenny to “STOP! Just STOP!” Once again, Kelly as some sort of long-suffering victim — this time, a “victim” of Bethenny’s [logical] words.)
*** “When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, they [psycopaths] are seldom perplexed or embarrassed — they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie. The results are A SERIES OF CONTRADICTORY STATEMENTS and A THOROUGHLY CONFUSED LISTENER.” *** (emphasis mine — from Hare, p.46)
“Usually they have handy excuses for their behavior, and in some cases they deny that it happened at all.” (This is not quite a “lie,” because the psycopath actually believes in his or her private reality — a “reality” that may even change within his or her mind in the space of less than a minute or in less than two sentences.) (Did Kelly ever say that she was “above” Bethenny? In Kelly’s mind, maybe not — because the exact word “above” was not used. That is not a loophole to a psycopath; it is reducing “truth” to the unit of a single word, not the level of a sentence — or, more challenging yet, the level of a paragraph, a day, a week, or a lifetime.) (Kelly is also easily able to rationalize that her “I’m up here” comment had to do with some quality that was not status-related. You could present Kelly with a videotape of herself saying “I am talking about social status, you know,” and she would be unlikely to even grudgingly admit that Bethenny could reasonably have inferred that “up here” had anything to do with status.) (Which also relates to Kelly’s probably-genuine frustration with Bethenny’s “denseness,” in mis-understanding, and thus to the frustrated “STOP! STOP!” comments.)
A sociopath not only PURPOSELY lies with ease, but he or she may also “contradict herself in words or actions.” Also note that the psycopath may truly believe that he or she saying/asserting something as fact makes it so, regardless of objective reality. “…it is as if the words take on a life of their own, unfettered by the speaker’s knowledge that the observer is aware of the facts.” (Hare, pp.47-48)
“Psycopaths show a stunning lack of concern for the devastating effects their actions have on others.” (Hare, “Conscience,” p.40) (Pure-D Kelly Bensimon, all the way down to the ground, as two Southern sayings would have it.)
I suspect that Kelly is worse than many psycopaths, because her work as a model placed her in a world that actually reinforced her bizarre notions of reality. She was likely catered to; deferred to; cossetted, coddled, crooned over. She got what she wanted and was (possibly) rarely “called out” on her narcissism. I suspect that nothing (or not much) in her life had the effect of demonstrating for Kelly Killoren Bensimon the idea that reality DOES NOT happily conform itself to her opinions and to her whims. In fact, for a top model, others around her often make sure that, to the extent humanly possible, that is precisely what reality does do!
A female like Bethenny, who relentlessly insists that Kelly engage with the world logically, and that she recognize and accept whatever results from her behavior, would be nails on a chalkboard for Kelly. Add the fact that Kelly must be insecure about her intellect. (No one can be as downright inarticulate and dim as Kelly without having some murky, uncomfortable vague feelings of intellectual self-doubt.) Bethenny’s sharp wit is devastating to Kelly. Then, worst of all, Bethenny (as well as, increasingly, Alex) insists that Kelly not only RECOGNIZE the results of her own actions, but also that Kelly actually CHANGE her behavior. In a word: Well, that’s most INCONVENIENT !
This all infuriates viewers. We long for Kelly to just recognize what an illogical mess she is! However, it turns out that psycopaths are not really capable of such recognition — let alone the cathartic contrition, remorse, and CHANGE that we all crave. We (viewers, Americans, humans) are surprisingly ready to forgive and re-admit a truly repentant sinner. Often, we even like the reformed sinner better than we like the un-tainted saint. But psycopaths can never, ever see themselves as others see them. Show them all the objective proof you like — they will simply look at you and whine “Stop! Just STOP IT!”
I don’t think Kelly is lying on purpose though. I think she honestly believes what she is saying. Her view of the events differs from everyone else’s.
Yes, she truly spins events and then believes her own spin. That’s one of the really disturbing things about her and why arguing with her is an exercise in futility
Sorry — Forgot to add a very telling point: A psycopath’s difficulty in processing complex information (larger than a “bite-sized piece” — which is what I meant to type above) combines with his or her failure to understand emotion; this combination seems to be what produces a very characteristic and fascinating hallmark of a psycopath : A seemingly inexplicable inability to understand irony and humor that is based on sarcasm or irony, even for/in an otherwise-intelligent person. Think about the truly bizarre moment when Kelly thought that Bethenny quite seriously intended to stomp on the grapes!
Psycopaths are also much more prone than others to mangle phrases, mis-speak simple words, mix up parts of a speech — again, possibly related to brain wiring. (But, take heart: Slips of the tongue are in no way diagnostic of psycopathy, or even of faulty brain wiring, in and of themselves!)
WOW & Hot Damn! Other than movies, I’ve never Known I was watching a psychopath! Boy, does that all FIT Kelly, or what? I am going to have a really hard time continuing to watch RHONY if Bravo keeps Kelly on. She makes my head hurt…the ‘normal’ brain is trying to ‘make sense’ of what she’s saying and, try as it might, there’s no Sense there ! It’s no wonder the housewives have to interrupt Kelly when they do…I’d say they’re trying to find a way to get her on some type of ‘track’ so she Will make sense ! How do you speak to or have a conversation with someone like this? It drives a person to drink…or run away. I’d Have to be drunk in order to be able to listen to her for any given length of time. (Can you imagine what the total film of the whole time they were on ‘vacation’ would be like? It’s no wonder the attending housewives all looked ‘shell shocked’ that last day when Jill arrived.)
You can now see why the others are so frustrated by Kelly; it fits everything so perfectly. I was mesmerized reading it.
Holy balls! That’s so zany I think you might be right!
Now I know the DSM IV uses Antisocial Personality Disorder, psychopathy, and sociopathy interchangeably, and you seem to be using psychopath and sociopath interchangeably (as Hare does, based on traits), but I’m just gonna call sKellyton a psychopath for our purposes.
I’ve noticed that KKB regurgitates other people’s words; she calls Bethenny and Alex things she’s heard from Jill and LuAnne. (Alex picked up on the “channeling the devil” comment at the Reunion, Andy poo-poo’d it because footage of Jill saying that wasn’t seen until months later. Does anyone really believe Jill ONLY said that Alex looked like she was “channeling the devil” on the Brooklyn Fashion Week catwalk ONCE? Months later? In the confessional? Hell-to-the-no! Jill told LuAnne that the next chance she got when she dished about how low-rent she thought the whole affair was, I’d bet the bank on it! And either Lu repeated it to Kelly or Jill repeated it to Kelly herself. That’s NO coincidence!) When Andy called Kelly out for claiming Bravo “forced” her to go to Poison Island, he said, “Well, that’s not true. But I appreciate it.” After crosstalk, seconds later, Kelly’s repeated, “Andy, it is true. Thank you, I APPRECIATE THAT.” Wha…what? This is not just a vapid personality at work, parroting other people’s thoughts to appear more substantive. There’s something more going on there, and I think you’re right, psychopathy might explain it.
But could she be a psychopath suffering from PPD? I’m not that familiar with Axis 2 disorders, so I don’t know.
And the plot thickens…
SCARY — is what she is…downright SCARY.
I do not discount that possibility.
Just thought of another piece of the possible “psychopath” puzzle! What is with KKB running (for excercise) down the street through crowded, moving, NY traffic? From what I understand, she is quite well-known for this rather dangerous (to OTHERS) activity. Talk about a complete disregard–“I’m Kelly Killoren Bensimon and I NEED TO RUN! Traffic be damned!” Psychopath!?! Google it!
does
‘satchels of gold’
mean
‘dirty old man balls’
WOW what a fabulous write up. It fits Kelly to a precise T. Everything she says and does makes sense when compared to the above post.
I do love that Andy busted Kelly lying last night.She told the media that she was ordered to go on an all paid vacation to the Virgin Islands and Andy set her straight.
I don’t buy her I’m just a country girl, professional virgin. I bet she’s slept with more men than all of the housewives, from every city, combined. She lied about the trip and it makes me wonder what else she’s lying about. She’s been around.
Angelofdevs is very insightful. Also Kelly ridiculed, picked at, and did not want to eat the food that Bethenny prepared on the boat because in Kelly’s mind Bethenny was trying to poison her. Her criticizing and pushing the food away from her supports the paranoia diagnosis of Kelly.
Great. It really speaks to Kelly’s issues. It annoyed me that she would never listen to any comments about her behavior. Also, she absolutely does not see that she is the exact opposite of who she claims to be. Her attack at Bethenny, saying “nobody cares about you”, and after knowing about B’s abandonment issues was so nasty. Your professional opinion is right on target. Thanks!
It’s a shame that Kelly thinks she has gained fans during her “break down” AND using her big words explaining herself / or justifying herself isn’t helping her. If she could get one sentence just said…ghezzz! Anyway, I don’t find Kelly gaining any fans over her situation as she feels. I am truly sorry for what ever may be wrong with her. I feel she should look into the condition she has with professional help and stop “Just stop…zip it” and not use the bullying to justify her actions…she just might get more fans.
What she doesn’t realize is that she doesn’t have *fans*; she has a lot of curious people watching a train wreck to see what happens next with her.
Hey, All!
dcsscrewylouie correctly notes that the terms “sociopath” and “psychopath” are being conflated here and there. Indeed, there is a difference. In very rough terms, a psychopath lacks empathy and remorse to the extent that he or she often (but not always) becomes involved in criminal activities; psychopathy is marked by greater aggression and risk-taking than is sociopathy. However, the distinction does not always hold up as a “bright line.”
Maybe it would be useful to think of it this way: Kelly Bensimon may actually fit better into the category of a sociopath than that of a psychopath, while Danielle Staub is a more obvious psychopath. Of course, I suspect that part of that may be situational: Kelly tends to get what she wants without the need for criminal behavior (violence; fraud; etc.) Then, too, she is too dumb to be very good at the machinations often employed by psychopaths — who can be quite charming (think: Ted Bundy). She seems to get what she wants mostly by means of being “pretty,” and likely by means of having manipulated older, wealthy men with her Lolita act (as has been mentioned above). She doesn’t seem to have any innate sense of how women think, or any sense of what motivates women socially; as a result, Kelly can manipulate something less than half of the population (and then only the ones who are post-puberty and not gay AND probably those with a good dollop of willingness to be deluded by a “pretty girl”). Kelly has zero skills at manipulating women (doesn’t seem to have women as friends; no surprise!), and she therefore has targeted her pathological attempts to gain status/money (attempts to “win,” which is the game that most psychopaths play, as they do not feel pleasure from normal human emotions/interactions/bonding) towards men. (Whew! Sorry that sentence takes so many meandering twists!) Because Kelly only “bothers with” men, her manipulative tactics shy away from the outright aggressive (where she is unlikely to prevail); she plays to her own strength — which seems to be her ability to appeal to testosterone. (Happily, that “skill” requires no more intelligence than Kelly’s quite minimal complement.)
Danielle (RHONJ) seems to me to be more classically categorized as a true/pure psychopath. (Thanks, angelofdevs! Entertaining read, of course, on Danielle Staub!) The long record of criminal behavior is telling.
In any event, and regardless of how and why each one manifests her disorder, it is excruciatingly obvious (truly painful to us viewers who see it in bold colors, while the principals never will!) that both Kelly and Danielle are profoundly abnormal and disturbed and toxic. In fact, one way to recognize a sociopath, psychopath, borderline personality, etc. is to watch what happens around the person. Want to see where a teacher is walking around, on patrol in the school lunchroom? Watch the kids to see a small, moving wave of relative quiet and calm. Want to see where a female sociopath is patrolling the social circles? Watch to see the moving wave of tears, fights, accusations, ruined friendships, unfaithful husbands, suspicion, disloyalty, shouting, backstabbing, mistrust, and general toxicity.
A last comment, not related to the distinction between sociopathy and psychopathy, but merely reinforcing my theory that Kelly Killoren Bensimon is pathological. Here is an observation from a clinician who works with inmates in group therapy sessions; he was writing about an inmate who scored very high on Hare’s “Psychopathy Checklist” : “He refuses to talk about things he doesn’t initiate. He doesn’t like to be confronted or questioned about his behavior… He refuses to see how he blocks communication and dominates the group therapy by his long-winded monologues that attempt to circumvent discussions about his own behavior.” (Maybe Kelly really is a transsexual, and the clinician was writing about HER in group therapy, before she switched genders.)
Of course, the group therapy sessions are doomed to failure. The standard line among psychiatrists and psychologists is that when one writes about sociopaths/psychopaths, the very shortest chapter is always the one on “treatment options.” Two words will pretty much cover any such chapter : “Nothing works.” (Sociopaths and psychopaths tend to be very satisfied with themselves. They do not seek therapy, and will not participate meaningfully if ordered into it, say by a court or by an influential family member. Within their own warped minds and contrary-to-reality worlds, sociopaths are content, even if not truly “happy.” A sociopath/psychopath is always convinced that it is ONLY EVER other people who are flawed. Think about it — which one of the following persons (listed) most likely suffered the greatest self-doubt, and likely genuinely confessed to the greatest number of sins : Mother Teresa, Ted Bundy, Abraham Lincoln, Charles Manson…. ?)
For my money, I stick to “narcissistic sociopath” for Kelly KB. But, hey, what’s a little detail like a label, among deviants…?
Love this blog !!!
Thank you, Janean!! Wonderful read! And thanks to Angelofdevs, as always… I’ll be back after Reunion Part 3, I’m sure…
You make a very good argument Janean. Definitely some food for thought.
I agree that Kelly and Danielle are far and away the most disturbed and dangerous of the housewives. The others have personality disorders on a much smaller scale and function relatively well.
I think you win my most insightful poster award LOL. I am going to chew on this for a bit. Kudos.
Awwww… shucks…. (but thank you!) Keep up the great work, angelofdevs !
Thanks for making the distinctions between a sociopath and psychopath. I’ve always known the two are different, but couldn’t articulate it properly (and still find it kinda confusing.)
I have really enjoyed your blog. But after watching the final episode of the RHONY reunion I think Kelly might have multiple personality disorder as well as some paranoia.
What are your thoughts?
Love this blog!
Just finished watching part 3 of the reunion and I’m wondering if Kelly has multiple personalities or personas, one or two of which have Aspergers. This might explain the contradictions: drinks/doesn’t drink, conservative/posed nude, supports PETA/wears fur. Tuning people out and hearing white noise is what made me think Aspergers. She can’t handle the twists and turns of a normal conversation that is peppered with emotion and nonverbal cues. She shuts down, plays with her hair. There was also something she said too, I wish I could remember the words, that made go, whoa. She sort of tipped her hat that she struggles with different personas. I’ll have to rewatch it. It was towards the end of her interview section. It’s worrisome that she doesn’t think she needed to recover from anything after the trip. I do hope the ex-husband has the kids more often than she. She’s completely unstable.
I found it fascinating that Kelly finally at least acknowledged she contradicts herself, re-positions her beliefs at the drop of a hat. She seemed to think this is completely normal & stated “that’s who I am”. When the other women pointed out that her contradictory statements/behaviors make it really hard to know who she is the eyerolls/hair twirling began again in earnest. You could see that she was shutting down, tuning out- the image of a child sticking their fingers in their ears and saying “nah nah nah I can’t hear you” certainly comes to mind. If anything, her behavior & appearance last night affirms my belief that she was using a drug of some sort while at the “villa” that escalated her underlying issues to implosion mode. Just look back to the scene around the table where she was clearly disturbed-her pupils, grimacing, (more) rapid speech, unkempt appearance in someone who is always careful with her outward appearance….. she appears high & frankly, deranged!
Maybe this next comment would be more appropriate on Jill’s section but, I wondered what other’s thought of Jill “piggybacking” on Kelly’s breakdown & stating that “she could totally see why Kelly reacted that way because when she (Jill) walked in she felt as if she was facing the firing squad. The look on Alex’s face was frightening”. That woman is so incredibly self absorbed that she would attempt to borrow sympathy from Kelly’s complete breakdown & twist it to make her own calculating appearance seem innocent and cruelly rebuffed! I also noticed how Jill and by extension Kelly are now both targeting Alex. Even though Alex has found a voice & has stood up for herself this filming she is still the shakiest, less confident of the bunch. Jill’s ego couldn’t handle the blow when Alex delivered Bethenny’s msg at Ramona’s event & she will continue to take jabs and try and injure Alex back, in any forum she can.
It is disturbing that Kelly does not listen to her children. Kelly claims her goal in life is to be a great role model to her daughters. In the restaurant scene when Kelly asks them how they feel about her posing nude, the younger one says, “If you are wearing a SKIRT or a DRESS, THEN I am ok with it.” KELLY IS NOT LISTENING TO HER CHILD, it is NOT ok with her that her mother is exposing her body to the world.
Sandra, you have that right. Kelly does not listen to her children. I happen to be the same age as Kelly and my 2 girls are about the same age as Kelly’s girls. I find the scenes with her and her children to be very uncomfortable to watch. Her girls were very clearly NOT okay with the Playboy subject. I also think that Kelly is NOT their primary care giver – which is a good thing. She seems to be the “fun” much less involved one. Her ex lives in the same building (I am baffled why she still calls him her husband and then has to correct herself – a lot) and considering the fact that she has such a busy social calender etc., I defintely think that her ex and nanny (maybe even other family members too) are caring for the girls – really caring. I think they found a way to work around the crazy and still make Kelly think she is in charge. Although it isn’t ideal, I think the girls are okay. That’s my opinion. Then again it might be the mom in me wishing it to be so!
love this blog and am holding my pee in order to send this message! I am so fasinated by crazy celly and want to mock her and I have mocked her…that is, like, my self-entertainment, honestly! But, after reading the mental dx I see her more clearly and I am also hoping that Crazy is not the primary caretaker of those girls of hers
I’m going to respectfully disagree; I think that Histrionic PD is a much better fit.
Well, add this to the mix. In reading an article in the newspaper on “Autism patients have their own genetic pattern, study finds”, Autism was characterized by:
“Difficulties in social interaction, communication and understanding other people’s emotions and behavior.” Sounds like a “Kelly” to me. (the rest of the article was about genes/DNA and not behavior) Could Kelly have some Autism mixed in with another disorder ?…I’m just asking.
Woo! Finally read through all of these very interesting comments. Very intriguing post, Angelofdevs. I was knocked for a loop when I saw “Sun, Sand and Psychosis” and although I’ve not gone online to check any of the RHONY blogs, I was compelled to research the “back story” on KKB’s “breakdown” as it was obvious and discomforting. Thank you all for helping to make sense of this and like most you you, I certainly hope she get’s the professional help she needs.
women was to be treated with respect, loved, treated as equals, but then go on a show like this? maybe all of you women are nuts? men don’t seem ot have 1/2 the dram that you girls do …you’re all cracked
What an interessant publication !!
AUTISTIC SPECTRUM DISORDER!!! Check it out Audio Processing Disorder!!!Psychopathic not so much, certainly not sociopathic, bipolar, multiple personality disorder or schizophrenic. Note: it helps to provide examples and insight as it is all recorded! Line up your hypothosis!
Meth, sorry, no. Ritalin, Xanax and prescribed “legit” meds are more likely the substances of her social class. If all the same attributes were asigned to a 9 year old we would approach this as a “developmental/learning disability”.
Central Auditory Processing Disorder, a few earmarks(oh, haha):
Easily distracted or unusually bothered by loud or sudden noises
Noisy environments upsetting
Behavior and performance improve in quieter settings
Difficulty following directions, whether simple or complicated
Reading, spelling, writing, or other speech-language difficulties
Abstract information difficult to comprehend
Verbal (word) math problems difficult
Disorganized and forgetful
Conversations hard to follow
This is telling, her patterns seem to be audio related. She exhibits so much of this in addition to the fact that she can’t handle smart women or social situations for long. The added complication of drugs (likely precribed) and her age and circumstance as in aging celecrity, Mom and ex-wife under extreme pressures. I did already support most of this in my earlier post. Google CAPD and compare to schiz, psycho, manic, socio or whatever else.
There are so many resources for this, there is help! If she were 5+ years old, we could have saved SO much grief. At her age it’s possible to create “normalcy”, she can be very happy without the medication and really make the social connections stable.
Seems like I had already posted something about Kelly possibly having Autism…June 22nd……
“Well, add this to the mix. In reading an article in the newspaper on “Autism patients have their own genetic pattern, study finds”, Autism was characterized by:
“Difficulties in social interaction, communication and understanding other people’s emotions and behavior.” Sounds like a “Kelly” to me. ”
Sounds like you’ve gone into it more, Anjisan, and it seems to ‘ring true’ to me.
Sure do hope she is not on that show the upcoming season. Didn’t care for her when she was first brought on (who could COMMUNICATE with her????), and haven’t changed my mind/feelings since.
Janean, with exception to you; line up your hypothosis and giving examples-you cited sources! Nicely done.
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I want to add that People suffering Paranoid Personality Disorder are not able to make strong relationship with others. Telling this from my own experience.
So very spot on! I had to Google after watching this recent episodes as I totally feel there is something really wrong with KKB….I hope she gets help.
very well written article, I wish more bloggers offered the same of content as you, the internet would be a much better place. Definitely keep it up!
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I hope you enjoyed giving us your view in your blog.. .as much as we appreciate the accuracy and time you took to recap the history behind the housewives… sooo accurate.. sooo fascinating to realize these are flawed individuals we are watching , yet we somehow expect that money or things or status or exposure somehow makes them different than the rest of us… we all have friends that come and go in our lives that fit these same personality disorders.. we just are not on TV to get the validation in knowing who they are and that they are toxic for us…! That is truly entertaining to read and hope you do more !
Just curious, what are people thinking about the ‘changed’ Kelly? Did you pick up on one comment I heard her make, “no, no, I Have to be the Mediator” ? Did Bravo ‘change’ her character, or did her medication or therapy sessions? And the way she tries to mediate Could be seen as bullying…pushing Alex out of the dining room, shushing people, telling them to close their eyes….she’s just OUT THERE…AGAIN. Krazy Kelly…and just as frustrating as last season.
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Those that state Bi-Polar you are way off course. I have four family members who have been in treatment with this disorder and they have never behaved like Kelly. This women is in need of help
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Very good article. On my opinion, you’re right, Kelly Bensimon has a paranoid disorder but I think she is also schizophrenic (quiet sure ) which is dangerous for the others. She really need medical help but you can’t never cure of schizophrenia . When I imagine she has 2 girls…. It’s dangerous , believe me.
A schizophrenic friend for more than 20 years of my uncle try to kill him. No one could imagine it. My uncle is handicapped for the rest of his life.
Hope someone could help K BB
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Weirdo, psycho, needs help because something is definitely wrong with that chick. Soooo freaking weird.
She is slap nuts! End of story. So happy they rid of her and Jill. Two of the most horrible, obnoxious weirdo’s on the show! What we’re they thinking!!!