RHONY’s Jill Zarin- The Classic Narcissist

Yes this is just a TV show but I have a psych degree I never use so I am going to dust it off.  I will interpret the behaviors of Bravo’s Real Housewives series’ women with what I was taught. I can only analyze what I see, so of course the results may be skewed. Read this with the usual disclaimer for entertainment purposes only, mostly my entertainment to be frank. Bear with me though, I am neither a veteran blogger nor a professional psychologist.

This entry will focus on Jill Zarin but I am determined to uncover all the disorders lurking inside the various housewives, I am just that way. This is the first of a series of psychological overviews on the real housewives.

I begin with my least favorite of the housewives, Jill Zarin, currently one of the featured people on The Real Housewives Of New York aka RHONY. Jill is a classic narcissist. For those of you not in the know there are subtypes of narcissism, Jill is the grandiose or malignant varietal. The grandiose or malignant subtype is identified by marked arrogance, contempt for others and a belief that they should only associate with other special people like themselves. Jill has gone off the deep end since Bravo show has allowed her fantasy that she is somehow better than the rest of the world to seem like reality to her and some others.

Jill has an obsessive need for attention. She has often displayed fits of piqué when she has not gotten the admiration or adulation she feels she has earned. She honestly feels she deserves attention, despite having none of her own accomplishments, simply because she is special for being Jill Zarin. She talks of her husband’s business as though it is her own, despite having been married to Bobby for a relatively short amount of time and seeming to have no real purpose at Zarin Fabrics. She continually acts as though co-star Bethenny’s success is solely due to her, despite having only been a friend of hers the last couple of years. There is also the pesky fact that Bethenny’s success is largely due to being on a reality show, not the good word of Jill Zarin.

Another personality trait of a narcissist is a noticable lack of empathy. Case in point, Bethenny’s father. Jill knew Bobby Frankel was ill, we know this because she told Alex she knew. Jill reaction was to shrug it off and claim Bethenny and her dad aren’t even close. Instead of sympathizing with a woman that she called a friend, she instead went right back to harping about how Bethenny had not been around for her during her husband’s illness, which had since been over. No emotion for Bethenny, no thought for what she might be feeling, instead it is back to Jill and how she needs things. She cannot see past her own interests for a so-called friend. She cannot understand that any parent dying, no matter how bad the relationship, would be painful to someone she claimed to care for.

Indeed Jill had often mentioned Bobby Zarin’s illness, later we all find out that during this period of time Jill had not been around for Bobby, rather she was pictured often out and about in the Hamptons partying while he was recovering from *being split from ear to ear*. This leads me to believe she was more upset about being ignored by someone (Bethenny) than she actually was concerned for her husband. After all she did not feel it necessary to curtail her own social life for his life threatening illness.

Jill has often been said to need *an underdog*, this may lead you to assume she needs someone to help for selfless reasons. In fact Jill just needs to be surrounded by people she feels are weaker somehow than her, not unspecial people by any stretch, just people she can influence who will in turn give her the volume of attention her disorder requires. In LuAnn, Jill Zarin has found a title to leech onto and a complete sycophant to feed her raging ego. More about LuAnn tomorrow though. In Kelly, Jill has found someone exceedingly attractive (a former model) who she shares an enemy with. Kelly is a weak minded and paranoid person but she also gives Jill a good share of adulation which works for Jill.

Jill has never liked Alex and has regularly displayed contempt for her, commenting negatively on everything from where she lives to her family. Alex is just not special enough in Jill’s eyes, nor does she kiss Jill’s ass so Jill has no use for her. You can see a marked difference in Jill’s treatment of her to Jill’s typical interactions with all the other women on the show. When confronted about her bad treatment by Alex I honestly think Jill was put out because its such a habit she cannot even remember doing it. That and she was appalled at someone she feels is a nobody to be questioning her at all. Jill feels above a scolding from a working person from Brooklyn.

Lately Jill has put on quite a show of sorrow over her broken relationship with Bethenny. Ahhh feelings you cry, yes indeed, the sadness of lost potential for attention stealing. Bethenny became the center of attention, with a wedding and a baby.  Jill knew that the show’s focus would surely be diverted from her own life. She had been short-sighted and suddenly she saw that she had squandered a chance for captured glory she could have garnered for herself by taking the attention for Bethenny’s latest achievements as she had tried to with Bethenny’s past accomplishments. That is sad for a raging narcissist, as sad as it gets.

Judge for yourself though. There are nine diagnostic criteria for a diagnosis of narcissism, you need to only display five behaviorally. To garner a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder you must have a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a pressing need for admiration and a noticable lack of empathy. This behavior should begin by early adulthood and present itself in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  • A grandiose sense of self-importance. These people may exaggerate achievements or expect to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.
  • Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance or beauty.
  • Believes he or she is *special* and unique. They believe they can only be understood by other special or high status persons and that is who they believe they should associate with.
  • Requires excessive admiration.
  • A strong sense of entitlement. This may include unrealistic expectations of especially favorable treatment or an automatic compliance by others with his or her expectations.
  • Interpersonally exploitative, often taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
  • Lack of empathy, unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
  • Often envious of others or believes others are envious of them.
  • Demonstrates arrogant or haughty behaviors or attitudes.

I feel my case is clear.

Please feel free to comment and share! Thanks!

For anyone having navigational issues here are the links to the other discussions on the Housewives of New York:

https://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/kelly-killoren-bensimon-update-schizoaffective-disorder/

https://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/04/rhonys-luann-de-lesseps-compensatory-narcissistic-personality-disorder/

https://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/rhonys-bethenny-frankel-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder/

https://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/15/rhonys-ramona-singer-cyclothymia/

About angelofdevs

A real life housewife who likes to chatter about the psychological disorders of Bravo reality TV versions of housewives.
This entry was posted in Real Housewives Of New York and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

261 Responses to RHONY’s Jill Zarin- The Classic Narcissist

  1. char212 says:

    Jill definitely fits the criteria of a narcissist. Would a person like that see themselves as a narcissist when told? I know people have left her comments telling her she’s like that but I wonder if she just brushes it thinking people are just jealous of her.

    • angelofdevs says:

      I believe she does believe people are jealous of her and that would indeed be a narcissist’s reaction to valid criticism. Narcissists rarely seek treatment because they simply do not think they have a problem, the problem to them is clearly with other people.

      • Amy says:

        I don’t want to be a Jill defender, but she does listen to her husband, who gently lets her know when he thinks she is wrong. For instance he reprimanded her after she argued with Mario. He also told her that cutting Bethenny out of her life was a mistake. Maybe she doesn’t care about what women commenting on a blog say about her, but some people carry weight with her.

  2. I do believe you hit it right on the nose! Thanks for the insight!

  3. Lila says:

    LOL! Yep, you are so right! We’ve been telling Jill that, but of course being a narcissist Jill can’t see it. Even her dolt of a nephew got in on that one and tried to lecture us on what a narcissist is and saying Jill isn’t. Arrogant little twit- most of us got our psych degrees before he was even born. That whole family has much too high of opinions of themselvs. Good god, can you imagine what their family get togethers are like with them all gathered together?

  4. Pingback: jill » Twitter Trends

  5. Jillousyness says:

    This only confirms what a lot of people have been saying about Jill’s actions and personality. The sense of entitlement, the need to be the center of attention, feelings of superiority and thinking everyone is envious of her is so apparent. My sister is the same way and we haven’t spoken in 5 yrs – since our mother passed away. No showing of feelings or allowing that someone else may feel differently. The need to be in control all the time and the dismissive attitude of anyone they don’t deem worthy. It’s too much to have to live with it or try to get along with someone like this. They make relationships toxic. Jill is the prime example of someone such as this.

    • whoknowz says:

      The Countess. C’mon. Money can’t buy…..a thing, especially
      if you can’t sing!!! And especially not ‘class,’ this one really hurts.
      Ramona is just too much with her ADAD all day ADAD.
      Wears me out just saying it!!!
      These women are taking up valuable air space.
      At least Bethenny has a great sense of
      humor and a quick wit and some serious determination.
      Luann is living in another universe if she thinks she
      can sing!!OI_)*57-080=-098765hlkjhgfd
      I find Kelly to be educated and articulate and the least likely
      to continue to play with these “girls.”
      Of course, there is the Playboy gig, for which I think Kelly
      she should get in and get out FAST!

      • Happy says:

        C’mon… Kelly intelligent AND articulate? What show have YOU been watching?

      • JNIC says:

        “I find Kelly to be educated and articulate” on which day?

      • Kaya says:

        Are you insane in turn? Kelly ‘educated and articulate’ ??? WTF ? Did you to the same ‘Columbia’ college she claims to have gone to? Oh, I know – are you her ‘manager’? Or just one moron supporting another?
        Kelly ‘educated and articulate’. ROTFLMAO!!! This will keep me entertained for a long time, ha, ha, ….

  6. Lex says:

    Your observations are dead-on. I can’t wait to see what else you write.

  7. Kate says:

    Such an interesting read! You should write a column for a magazine.

  8. Janie says:

    I’d LOVE to read your analysis of Danielle Staub. I’m not expert but pursecution complex seems to come to play.

  9. ardentlyohio says:

    This is great. It’s a fun insight and much more in depth than me simply saying “these ladies are bonkers” to myself while watching!

  10. Hannah says:

    Oh! Please keep blogging it is so interesting the human behavior. I am so happy to have found your blog. It is very interesting to watch all these women and how their behaviors change when hit with a little bit of fame and attention, they become this 3rd dimension characters I guess they can become fragile if they are unstable to begin with. I would like your input on Bethenny and her hardness at times. I think personally that she attacks when she feels afraid and often avoids how she really feels deep down. Anyway it would be interesting. Kudos for beginning this blog. Have a great day!

    • Amy says:

      I agree it would be interesting to see how angelofdevs sees Bethenny. I always thought she has real problems in relating to others. Sometimes she will be conciliatory, but then will trash the woman she seemed to make peace with in her talking head interview. Since she knows the others and everyone will see these “confidences,” I wonder how she justifies it. It is also obvious that she has never really liked Jill for herself (and I don’t blame her, Jill is not likeable IMO), so why did she join forces with Jill. Jill obviously had something Bethenny needed. I wonder what it was.

      • c says:

        i think bethenny needed a mother.

      • Karen says:

        Maybe her social connections. Jill has a wealthy husband, a sister on the radio, and a network of rich friends. When the show started, Bethenny was still just a caterer who made it very clear that she had no family to fall back on. Also, when they added Kelly during season two, Bethenny went after her in an extremely vicious way. I guess she felt threatened by another single woman, similar in age who was a former model. Maybe she was afraid that her place on the show could have been threatened, and teamed up with Jill to keep her position secure. From what I have read, they both told people back then not to film with Kelly.

        Despite the fact that Bethenny has a work ethic and her own career and Jill does not, I think both of them are mean women who will use somebody to get ahead.

      • JNIC says:

        Or perhaps, what Bethenny needed from Jill was a friend. Bethenny wasn’t aware Jill would be a friend that would keep an account of everything she ever did for you. That’s an expensive friendship.

  11. To do list I wrote for myself after reading your posts:
    1. Don’t become a narcissist and require approval and adoration. check.
    2. If they don’t adore you, don’t be paranoid or anti-social. check.
    3. Get therapy just to be on the safe side…

    Nice blog, I’ll be following along.

  12. Katy Dillon says:

    Not only will they not seek treatment. There really is none that is affective.

  13. Jan says:

    I agree with your opinion here.

  14. jossanfran says:

    thanks, very informative. wouldn’t kelly also fall under grandiose narcissism also? are there more mental illness to come? this is very educational to us all, and thanks for taking the time and energy, we need more. you must think alex has some issues also?

  15. Laura says:

    PLEASE do an analysis of the countess! I’m very curious to see what that would look like.

  16. angelofdevs says:

    @jossanfran: I think Kelly lacks the ego to be a narcissist, the fact she lets Jill demean her is pretty pathetic. A narcissist would not put up with that.

    @Laura: I have started one about LuMan but I think I may delve into Danielle first because she is more clear cut. Be prepared to see another facet of narcissism.

    Thanks so much for all the great comments! I am really flattered by the compliments and delighted at the interest.

    • SuziQ78 says:

      I would like to see Alex, Ramona and Sonja’s psychological profiles. I bet they would be a very interesting read.

  17. Emma says:

    I really enjoyed your evaluation albeit not a professional one as you yourself admit. You are right on with your observations, but I am more curious about why there is such a large audience for these programs? I know the obvious answer is how we live vicariously through the characters, but I wonder what it means when a viewer is clearly aligned with a particular character. I guess I am wondering if the viewer shares some of the psychological maladies of their favorite character?

    • ouch says:

      Wow, I had to read that twice. Snide much?

    • Elinor says:

      I think the viewership is so high for reality shows because they offer viewers a safe space in which we can engage in both upward and downward social comparison.

      I can’t blame any of these women for being the way they are because society has made them this way. Their personality styles have helped them find immense financial success and status in society and actually proved quite adaptive.

      • Karen Lee says:

        The only housewife that can be considered high society is Sonja. She has been around blue blood and old money. The remainder are actually new money and spend it like drunken gaudy sailors on shore leave. Luann married a count but that doesn’t matter in this country. Her song is actually correct, money can’t buy you class although most of the housewives have tried. I love that Bethenny said she’s done with the double air kiss. It’s so damn pretentious and looks stupid and uncomfortable. Is it any wonder that a good number of housewives from each city are having financial troubles?

    • I watch for real world examples of how not to be. Also to forget about my personal life challenges for an hour.

  18. Renee says:

    This sounds a hell of a lot like Kelly as well.

  19. Jill Zarin's voice is horrible! says:

    Things that absolutely irk me to no end about Jill:

    Jill Zarin’s voice is absolutely horrible to listen to. The nasal whine is at its worst when she is saying, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.” Hearing her cackle makes me wish I was. High.

    Her apartment is so, so, so, so small and that’s why she is always entertaining others in her bed.

    Have you watched anyone walk into Jill’s apartment? She cannot stand at her own door and greet them. It’s so small and packed, that she has turn to the side and walk ahead, so the guest can then enter as well. How bizarre is that?

    What are the absolutely weird indentions in Jill’s face? What are those marks? Is this left over something or other that was mismanaged during a face lift? Come on, really, what are those marks on her face?

    Why are Jill’s eyes always bouncing around as though she’s never able to concentrate or actually see the person in front of her? She never looks anyone in their eyes! She will look anywhere and everywhere except at the person who is talking to her!
    Does she have a mad case of ADD? Or perhaps just MAD COW DISEASE?

    I deplore how many times this season, Jill has walked off the set crying on someone’s shoulder. Boo-hoo! Grow up! Grow a pair! Have a heart! Stop playing the victim because no one believes it! She is a Mean Girl and now the whole nation knows it.

    • Melanie says:

      I thought it was really interesting the couple of times she showed some shred of introspection by saying, “Oh, I guess I am going to come off as a cold b*tch” – she knows what she’s doing and doesn’t care but does recognize it’s on film. LOL!

    • Lilybop says:

      How crazy to redesign your home with no dining room!

      Jill Zarin is giving up her NYC pad.

      In an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, Zarin revealed she is selling her Upper East Side
      apartment because she just plain “outgrew” the unit she shares with husband Bobby and daughter Allyson.

      “I figured it was a good time to sell,” Zarin said. “I’ve been here since 2001 and I’ve just outgrown it. I want to have the Jewish holidays at my home and I can’t because I don’t have a dining room.”

    • Terry says:

      Hey, I’m no fan of Jill’s either. That said, her apartment is a very decent size by NYC standards. It is packed and tacky, very nouveau riche though.

      FYI: I live with a husband and a cat in 500 square feet, and my apartment is bigger than those of many of my friends. When I see Jill’s place, I’m envious (of the size only, mind you).

      A woman once jokingly said to me that New Yorkers are so short because they have to shrink to fit into their apartments.

  20. Lisa says:

    Thank you! I was telling my only friend who watches RHONYC that I wish a professional would say something! Say more, please.

  21. Karen Lee says:

    Jill wrote positive critiques of her own book on Amazon, complete with non de plumes. She got busted when someone noticed that the writer had the same relatives as Jill, with the same wish list and birthdays as her daughter and husband Bobby. It was quite hysterical and illuminating. It has since been removed but there are some comments from the person that figured it out. Jill denied writing the glowing comments but I’m glad that Amazon removed them.

  22. Catherine in Tulsa says:

    It’s actually Caroline that is the antisocial personality disorder.

    • Caroline Nut Case says:

      You nailed it right on the head. She thinks she is powerful & demonstrative. No! After last night’s show I find her a loud bellowing fatarse whale. There are no redeeming qualities about Caroline. When her husband told her that Danielle had been chosen to speak at the fundraiser for the sick little baby girl, she did everything she could to derail that. “What?” “They didn’t ask ME? They should be asking MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

      Same thing with Dina talking to Caroline about Danielle. Once again Caroline must insert herself. “I’m the one she needs to apologize to!”

      Hey Caroline: Why don’t you just go throw some more meat on your kitchen cabinets like your own GROWN ADULT children do.
      (Caroline’s own GROWN ADULT kids throw meat on her kitchen cabinets yet she has the nerve to talk about Danielle’s YOUNG INNOCENT kids ‘not being right.’)

      I don’t like Danielle, but that goes without saying. However, Caroline demanding top billing in every situation just because she has money is nauseating and so backwoods.

  23. MOMX3 says:

    Great blog and so insightful! JZ’s extreme narcissism really does seem to hit even non-professionals in the face I think, but it is so interesting to read such a thoughtful analysis of this disorder as applied to her. The “grandiose” or “malignant” subgroup sounds spot on w regard to her too. Such a shame that narcissists of her type are unable to see themselves as they really are, and unable to see (or care about) the pain that they inflict upon others. I wonder what Jill Zarin thinks when she watches the show (b/c you know that she does!!)? It seems apparent that she trolls around looking for her name in print, maybe another manifestation of the disorder. I would hope that the fact that the vast majority of her press is so intensely negative gives her some anxiety at the very least. Hopefully the veneer to her grandiose yet false self-image is starting to crack just a wee bit.
    Personally, I know why I am so intrigued/horrified/repulsed by Jill Zarin: she seems to be today’s poster girl for Queen Bee-Mean Girl behavior that is just so destructive and damaging. Jill Zarin is so disgusting that you wish that she would “grow up already!” But after reading your blog, I see that she won’t be able to do that w out some intensive therapy.

  24. jane says:

    I agree with your assessment of Kelly, but you left out the fact that she is just STUPID!!! I don’t think there is any help for that problem..
    She has nothing intelligent to say because she is VAPID, she only her fading looks. That is why she flits in and out of parties, because she can’t hold a conversation. Geeze she even mis-quoted Jack Nicolson’s famous line from A Few Good Men, and attributed it to Al Sharpinton.. She is a moron!!! The problem is she is out smarted by Bethenny who is bright and sharp. She defends herself by acting like a freak because she can’t fight back with someone who can out wit her. She is much better when she just sits there and says nothing, the minute she opens her mouth to say anything she comes out looking like the idiot she is, like her not understanding that Bethenny wasn’t really going to “stomp on grapes” or her comment about making “lemons out of lemonaide”.. if she cared about her IMAGE and wanted to clean it up, she would leave the show..

  25. Sunshine says:

    Your observations are so interesting! Please keep them coming.

  26. Domermom says:

    Wow .. you really nailed Jill and Kelly!

    I think that Jill is acting like the girl who was picked on for her lack of good looks when she was younger and now that she has bought her way into the “club” … she’s become one of the very people that probably tormented her.

    Kelly … sigh. I think we are seeing a classic drug addict in action. Cat pee smell … remember sonja saying Kelly’s room smelled like cat pee? She’s craving sweets … her favorite food is gummi bears, even though she professes to not eat processed food …. she’s a meth addict.

    • Karen Ehrhardt says:

      If Kelly were a meth addict, she would be eating popsicles, otter pops, anything with sweet liquid. She’s got the munchies. She’s probably smoking some killer weed, which sometimes smells rather strong.

      • angelofdevs says:

        I had pharmacology and toxicology as a course in college so I have a good idea of the changes any chemical can cause in both brain function and mood. I do not doubt that self medication is at play in some of these women which can mask symptoms of their true disorder. I will say if she is self medicating I think weed would be a better choice than meth but neither are a great idea with her obvious underlying mental disorder.

      • The other Jules says:

        I disagree, she doesn’t have the munchies, she has sugar cravings – the late Amy Winehouse was notorious for her huge consumptions of sugary sweets – gummi bears & jelly babies – tick! Also, a person’s sweat STINKS of strong pee when using methamphetamines, something to do with urea being excreted via the skin pores as the kidneys are too busy dealing with scary toxins. Killer weed on the other hand smells like killer weed and induces sugary carbs / savoury carb cravings.

  27. sweetboo says:

    I loved reading your assesments tonight. I hate that I spent my time wasted on these ridiculous women but they are a fun distraction from an otherwise boring life. I think you have hit the nail on the head with Jill & Kelly. The part that made me laugh was simply that almost all the criteria for a narcissistic personality are ones of a man I dated… I kept telling him he was one but they never seem to agree. lol

  28. kate says:

    thank you for all of this. it has been soo obvious, since the schism between bethany and jill, that alone, jill is really quite repulsive. she is like sooo many other women who take on the grand manhattan life as seen thru the pettiness of a long island upbringing. sorry but that’s what i’ve seen time after time. it’s not common but it’s real. she is petty, she is small minded, she is judgemental, she is long island moved up into the sophistication of ‘the city’. sorry, i don’t mean to offend. she is nasty, she is humorless and she is pathetic. feeling blindsighted, seriously, she can’t handle honest confrontation when it doesn’t come from her? next week will surely be her most embarassing moment.

  29. Jill Zarin's voice is horrible! says:

    You must, you MUST read this hilarious, laugh-out-loud, gut-busting funny,
    AMAZING article about the whole melt-down on the last New York showing:

    http://gawker.com/5544698/real-housewives-of-new-york-kelly-killoren-bensimon-is-not-dead?skyline=true&s=i

    • Karen Lee says:

      I have been reading it since Lawson started writing it. It is truly rolling on the floor, laughing my mfao. Richard Lawson should get a Pulitzer.

      I almost fell out of my bed when Sonja said on last weeks episode “I’m no doctor, but something is wrong”. Her delivery is priceless. And there is something wrong. Kelly may be suffering from any or all of those diagnosis detailed in this blog, but one thing I am 100% certain of, she is using drugs. And I believe it’s meth. I know from experience. She exhibits the classic signs. The good thing is, she can get better if she stops. The bad thing is, if she has a mental disorder on top of that, it can only be treated if she is medicated, and not with street drugs. Her behavior is classic meth addiction.

    • angelofdevs says:

      I really do enjoy Richard Lawson!

    • calipam says:

      This is priceless.

  30. Jill Zarin's voice is horrible! "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" says:

    Oh and Richard at Gawker summarized it best with a song: “Crazy,” by Patsy Cline.
    In homage to the craziest of them all: Jill Zarin.

  31. kate says:

    thank you so much for that. i know that gawker always does a recap and i couldn’t find it. thanks again, i look forward to reading it…….

    • Jill Zarin's voice is horrible! "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" says:

      It’s very, very long. Some of it is fantasy. But it all mixes together so well and is a masterpiece of hilarity. Wow, what a writer he is!

  32. J says:

    Histrionic, you fucking twits

  33. joancj says:

    Your analysis of both Jill and Kelly make perfect sense to me. I look forward to reading your take on the rest of the group, particularly LuAnn (who I consider to be on one of the lowest branches of the “behavior tree”).

  34. HousewifeNut says:

    In my world we call this type person: selfish. Love your blog!

  35. Eva says:

    Reading the psycho-analysis of people we scratch our heads about (Kelly & Jill) , helps us make sense of unexplainable behavior. Yup, those ladies have a SERIOUS LACK OF COMPASSION AND EMPATHY, which the other ladies do seem to have. You need those qualities in order TO BE A REAL FRIEND.

    I wish I could tell you about the ladies who used to be my friends. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and treated them normally. Weird comments and behaviors came out later. I looked up narcissistic behaviors…and gosh, unless you like feeling manipulated by these people, the best thing to do is just to stay away from them. And, though I do like some qualities of these former friends (there were good times), I know what they’re up to (I have enough intuition that tells me) and it’s just not worth the time, emotion, or energy to deal with them. I feel sorry for their spouses and their children who have learned ways to cope with their manipulative ways. I am just happy I choose not to deal with it, even if it means having fewer people in my life to call friends!

    Friendship should really be a 2-way street, each person having empathy for the other and wanting the best for the other one. Sure, jealousy/envy is bound to happen, but if you really feel your friend has your back, then you can get over it, right?

  36. Katie C says:

    I love this site. Glad I found it. Can’t wait until you analyze LuAnn, Bethenny and Alex. So juicy and educational.

  37. Cheryl says:

    Your observations are wonderful! I have been waiting to read your assessment of LuAnn, but I guess you haven’t had time to get around to it yet. I think she is rude beyond bounds, affected, and a bit of a climber. I laugh out loud about the Countess bit and wonder why no one has pointed out to her that she is not royalty as she once declared. She married into the title..has nothing to do with her own pedigree. And with all of the European titles swirling around and even being available for purchase, what is the big deal anyway? And in the final analysis, what is the big deal with being a minor royal? People are people. This is America for god’s sake!

    One last dig.. Has anyone else noticed that Jill Zarin looks exactly like Miss Piggy when she is looking dead on at the camera and running her mouth??? (I apologize, Miss Piggy!)

    • ripper6971 says:

      Mario DID point out that she wasn’t a countess. LuAnne first hounded Ramona to make him apologize to her, then moved on and hounded Mario himself. The title gave her written permission to treat everyone as peasants. She doesn’t want to be reminded that she is now a peasant also.

    • dianahelen says:

      well now you have insulted Miss Piggy who has more class and a better speaking voice. Shame on you

  38. Amy says:

    Do you analyze the more popular NYC housewives? For instance, I think Bethenny is more damaged than most of them.

    I agreed with your thoughts about Danielle, but I think she is more of a borderline personality.

    Your comments about Kelly were interesting, but I do think she has a reason to believe Bethenny was out to get her. Last season Bethenny revealed some long-harbored resentment of Kelly over an issue with Bethenny’s boyfriend, and Kelly repeatedly snubbing her. Bethenny also provoked all of the fighting with Kelly last season. I thought Bethenny was out to “get” Kelly last season, so I am not sure how much of a delusion this is for Kelly. All of the other women have also called Bethenny a press whore, so she obviously knows how to contact editors to plant items about herself and others.

    As for Jill, I think you are stretching on this one. Jill a does have an inferiority/superiority complex, and is an obnoxious busybody. But I have seen narcisists up close and personal. From the little I have seen on the show, Jill is not one.

    Look forward to your next assessment.

    • ripper6971 says:

      Lots of people are “damaged.” I had an unbelievable childhood. But it is what you do with it that counts. Bethenny didn’t like Kelly because Kelly acted like a snob. Then Kelly sealed the deal when she refused to let anyone use her name in a charity event. Bethenny made a wise crack that Kelly heard and Kelly showed everyone that Bethenny was right when she explained to Bethenny that she, Kelly was up here and Bethenny was down there. After some bickering Bethenny apologized and they decided to bury the hatchet more than once. But Kelly’s paranoia or drug use or whatever it is, started escalating. Bethenny kept reminding Kelly that they were putting it behind them. But the next day Kelly was on the war path again. And you cannot forget that when Kelly told Luanne and Jill what had happened, it strayed a long way from the truth. While the truth is that Bethenny is not perfect either, she is far more normal than Kelly or Jill.

      • Karen says:

        If somebody acts like snob and says I don’t remember meeting you, then you take the hint and move on. When Kelly was new, Bethenny wanted to make it seem like she already knew Kelly, and that they traveled in the same social circles. Yeah, right.

        Kelly wasn’t going to let Bethenny use her, and that made Bethenny angry. How many times in Season 2 did Kelly have to tell Bethenny to get lost?!

        I think RHNY would be much better if they got rid of both Jill and Bethenny.

      • alexandra says:

        Bethenny said she didn’t care for Kelly because Kelly had been introduced to her long before the RHNYC show. Kelly only “paid attention” to Bethenny’s boyfriend (as I recall it was that Kelly put the moves on Bethenny’s boyfriend), and Kelly ignored Bethenny. On later occasions, Kelly wouldn’t recognize Bethenny, though Kelly had been introduced to her several times. In other Kelly only could pay attention to men, and she was a snob. Also this behaviour was shown on the show at some party… can’t remember, but Kelly flirted with the men, and acted as if the other woman present (Luanne?) was not there.

  39. Cnote says:

    You are right on with everyone. How about the OCHW?

    Vicki- Narcissist

  40. Snowbunny says:

    Amazing! Your evaluations are really cementing my suspicions about the craziness of these women. Please write more, write about everybody! I feel like more could have been said about Danielle and her preoccupation with Dina.

  41. normawilahmina says:

    This is really interesting. So, now I’m wondering, how does one deal with a narcissist in their life? I have a friend who exhibits a lot of these behaviors, and it’s draining.

    • angelofdevs says:

      Honestly I would avoid a narcissist. The relationships are entirely one sided and you will never get anything but pain in return.

      • skins says:

        What would you recommend if one’s mother is a narcissist?

      • angelofdevs says:

        Therapy. I am so sorry you have to deal with a narcissist mom. Remind yourself what a great human being you are and try to surround yourself with as many positive, empathetic and sane people that you can. You cannot pick your family but you can pick your friends and loves. Remember if it gets to be too much, mother or not, you have a right to be happy and you can walk away if you have to.

  42. Sophie says:

    I agree with you about Jill and Kelly. I have a relative that is classic NPD and I also think Jill behaves similarly. Jill constantly brags about how much money she spends (the platinum Saks card) and drops names of who she knows (Donald Trump etc) to impress everyone. This is behavior of someone who really has low self esteem. I bet she has some issues with feeling inadequate (fat, not rich, not popular) from her childhood. She acts like she has always had a “fabulous” life, but she only attended a community college. Also, every single situation has to be all about Jill. Everything is perceived as a slight against her, but she never acknowledges her bad behavior.

    Kelly is without a doubt delusional and paranoid. Her obsession with whether Bethenny is a chef or a cook is weird. Also, Kelly never makes sense. It’s disturbing to watch her. I wish Bravo would take Kelly off this show.

  43. IsabellaG says:

    I agree that you should do one on Bethenny and then Ramona, or better yet, her obnoxious husband. Bethenny seems to have such low esteem, she brings most of her loony troubles upon herself.. she insisted on starting with “empty-headed” Kelly last year if I recall correctly, she felt slighted or ignored or something. I think she wanted the air time now that I know better. Also, she’s big on name-calling but if others call her a name back, she cries.

    All right, they’re all a mess so “have at it” as they say.

  44. Emma Brown says:

    I am so glad that I found your blog, and can not wait to share it with my friends. We are constantly “diagnosing” the housewives and interestingly enough, Narcissist is what we came up with for Jill. On a serious note, I am afraid for Kelly’s and Danielle’s children.

  45. Sapphic Persuasion says:

    I enjoyed this so much! I am *dying* to read other analyses by you. I hope they keep coming. Ha! “Feelings are so 1979” has become a catchphrase in my household. But I agree with you, and I think my analyst would definitely want to explore the events of that year further. I feel bad for these ladies, but I don’t even know if there’s a way out for them. I doubt most of them would seek therapy, or rise to the challenge if they actually found a non-enabling therapist.

    I love watching the RH shows precisely because 6 or 7 out of the 7 women are always crazy. It’s a trainwreck, and sometimes I can’t bear to watch. But other times, there’s schadenfraude at work in my enjoyment I guess. I think Bethenny might be the sanest one on the show–although she has issues, they seem less big than a full-blown personality disorder. Alex has been seeming sane lately, and she’s definitely not the craziest, but she does have that co-dependent relationship with Simon. And she’s very defensive and easily injured. Sonja’s craziness is very likeable and easy to get along with.

    Now, on New Jersey, who does NOT have a personality disorder? I would *love* to read your analysis of Caroline and Teresa!

    The thing is, it often seems to me that a small majority of people have a personality disorder. Or at least a significant number of them do. And the rest have slight neuroses. Maybe this is because I live in NYC–there are personality disorders on every corner. Might living not in the metropolis of modernity improve your chances of not having a personality disorder? Might living in a less urban place help people be in touch with reality? Is it just too stressful to live in a huge, crowded city? I don’t know.

    But really, using these criteria, almost everybody has mental illness. Various intellectual and ethical dilemmas result from pathologizing vast swathes of humanity. Craziness is kinda the human condition. These women just take it to the next level and throw money around while doing it.

  46. ChattyCathy says:

    you’ll stay busy every week writing these commentaries on the Housewive’s behavior! I love them! Keep up the good work.

  47. Emma says:

    I like Ramona and Bethany. I wonder what these women are like off-camera?

  48. ripper6971 says:

    I totally agree with you about Jill. I was calling her narcassist before I read your article. It was nice to have the facts to confirm it. I have never seen anyone so determined to be in the limelight. A point I do not see mentioned is the fact that Jill wants to make up with Bethenny while Bethenny is being offered a spin-off show. Jill not only missed the boat with Bethenny being married and having a baby, but she doesn’t get to be on Bethenny’s new show either. Apparently Bethenny didn’t invite Jill to her wedding. That would have been a blow. But Jill put the I-am-so-hurt and I-am-a-victim spin on it for the press. The incident that sealed it for me was Jill showing up at Ramona’s outing. She said such hateful things to Alex and Bethenny. When Ramona had her make-up launch, Jill came through criticizing everything Ramona had done, right down to the food she served. She also refused to go on the outing when Ramona asked her personally. And she and Luanne tried to get Kelly to sabatoge the outing also. But then she shows up and expects everyone to treat Queen Jill with joy because she lowered herself to be with the peasants . Then she goes out to her husband and tells him how mean they all were. She just doesn’t get it. She is so sure that she is above them all, that she doesn’t have to take responsibility for anything she does or says. Everyone is supposed to say, ‘Oh, who cares what Jill said to me or what she did to me, she is so superior that I will just rejoice at her presence.”

  49. Kylee says:

    I completely agree and it is apparent to me especially when Jill only became interested in reconcilling with Bethenny when she realized there was all of this important stuff happening to her (marriage.baby.career). She has even made several references to the fact that “I should be there” She always finds a way to turn it back on her and I can’t help but think that if Bethenny hadn’t gotten engaged or pregnant that Jill would be perfectly content to never talk to her again. Jill is very self-serving, or at least Bravo sure does a great job of editing!

  50. Brenda says:

    Loved reading your analysis of the gals thus far. I, too, wonder what it is about this disfunctional group of women that has me hooked. A guilty pleasure, I guess.
    I would simply label Bethany as “unfiltered”. She says exactly what’s in her head at any given moment — for better or worse — and usually its LOL funny. Probably what most of us would think, but never say out loud. The beauty of being unfiltered is you know exactly who that person is at all times. She simply never liked Kelly and called her out for the fake, walking contradiction that she is. Much like she’s done with all the other gals. Unfiltered. I might just grow a pair and try it 🙂

  51. Mdizzie says:

    I have watched every show, every season of every “Real Housewives” and have always wanted insight by a professional into their lives, and why they are the way they are. I am nervous for the Manzo family, Danielle seems like she could go off the deep end. And like you said, she turns everything around, the smallest detail, to fit her story or her liking. I hope Kim “G” realized how stupid she looked by coming with Danielle and her gang of Hells Angels. What an idiot, showing up with your personal driver and Bentley to a fundraiser. A blind and deaf man could have told you that a fundraiser like that, for a middle-lower class family, wasn’t going to attract millionaires, so the Brownstone wasn’t decked our for millionaires. Kim G should have sent a very large check and ended her evening outside when the hells angels showed up. Can you go to Jail or be arrested for breaking the law on a reality tv show? Vikki is a great role model for me, I own my own business, and her work ethic is great, but I know she over does it. Shes reminds me to have a balance in my own life, work and play. Not WORK WORK WORK and looking down on other woman who may not work the way “I do.” NO wonder she has NO friends, shes anal retentive. I love your blog, my mother in law and all of my family love the show and I had to share this blog with them. They love it, keep them coming. Please do Nene or Kim, Kim would be great from Atlanta, but I could understand not wanting to spend your time on such a horrible person, in my opinion.

    I watch these shows to learn how NOT to act.

  52. kate says:

    If Danielle is for real, then she is very dangerous. To the wives, to her daughters, to everyone she comes into contact with. I’m hoping this is a scripted show. It’s very disturbing, she’s a very angry lady and thinks nothing of doing harm to anyone who crosses her. This show has put her in the limelight in her world. She’s not doing well with it. A little bit of perceived power is really ugly on her.

    I hope this isn’t for real. It’s not funny, it’s not amusing and she will harm those around her, especially her daughters. Her perception of reality is so far off base as to be insane.

    I hope Bravo does something about this.

  53. Cathy says:

    Not everyone who behaves badly has a mental illness. I believe Jill is a spoiled brat of the highest magnitude. She has no self-knowledge and does to others what she is hurt by when they do it to her. In the housewives’ culture, it seems acceptable to show up to support your friends in their activities and then brutally criticize them. But then, if the friend needs an honest conversation, honesty is nowhere to be found. Then they change their modus operandi and act nicey-nicey in front of the friend and talk trash about her behind her back.

    Ramona’s discussion with Jill when Jill was a representative of Kodak was outrageous, as was Ramona’s criticism of Bethenny when they were taking a walk and Ramona told Bethenny she had no friends and would probably alienate her husband-to-be. She got her comeupance when when LuAnn and Jill were about to board Ramona’s boat as Ramona’s guest, and they did their critical high school act before they even boarded the boat. When Ramona wore a skimpy bikini, Jill told her how great she looked and then said behind her back that she should never wear such a bikini. From there, it was a downhill slide in the manners department.

    I have rarely seen such bad manners, dishonest, hypocrisy and self pity. These women, generally speaking, are brats who need someone who will just walk away from them for being so disgusting. Their moral compasses have been magnetized and they are clueless as to how to be decent human beings.

    Jill’s requrement that anyone who wants to be her friend must not be a friend of anyone who is her enemy would cease to be a requirement if others would simply cease to be her friend under the circumstances and not try to reconcile.

    Jill is a self-absorbed know-it-all like her mother. Her sister tells it like it is and Jill should listen to her more often. What was Jill thinking when she decided to surprise the group on St. John’s? Clearly, Bobby does not understand what a witch he is married to and how she incites the rage of others.

    Bethenny may have a sarcastic mouth, but she recognizes when she is wrong and will admit it. She is an astute observer of the human condition. She knows a phony when she meets one. Alex may have been joined at the hip to her husband, but she has shown incredible growth and become much less obsessed with social climbing. She is also capable of direct and honest connunication, as she showed when she gave a tongue-lashing to Jill. Alex walked away and if her social station improves, Jill will scramble to make up with her.

    I hate to give mental illness a bad name by giving Jill and friends an out for their disgusting behavior. They do what they do because they can get away with it with impunity.

  54. Claire says:

    Brilliant! So glad you are putting your psych degree to good use! xxo

  55. Bethany says:

    Fabulous!

  56. A Noun says:

    And don’t forget Jill’s Munchausen by Proxy variant, since Bobby had medical treatment but snubbing that was a direct affront to her.

  57. Jersey gal says:

    Excellent blog! I have bookmarked it. I had actually thought about doing something like this myself and then I found this blog.

    I agree, it would be great to see the rest of housewives being analyzed from a psychological perspective. Makes for great discussion. It’s just so interesting to see how people in general interact with one another, where they have some things in common and other things they could not be further in their views.

    Would love to see an assessment on Ramona. She seems to either be bipolar or manic depressive. Her zigzag mood swings are over the top. And does anyone know, did she have an eye lift/eyebrow lift or something, or is that how her eyes really look naturally?

    I look forward to reading more here! Please, keep up the good work!

  58. LBR says:

    You all need to get a life! This is nothing more than a stupid TV show. You see maybe 10 percent if that much. To keep people watching they “stage” drama. More drama the more people watch. Each woman is paid $100,000 for each season so they perform. Think about it… Wouldn’t you?

    • A Marine's Aunt says:

      I wouldn’t air out my dirty laundry to the world for $100,000,00.

    • angelofdevs says:

      I don’t believe everything is staged by Bravo. I think there is definitely an aim to cast people on these shows who are overly dramatic. I am also sure the people involved behind the scenes do plenty of potstirring by generating stressful situations whenever possible. That being said, these women are not actresses and their behavior, their words and their reactions to the situations they are placed in are their own.

      For the record you could not pay me enough to be on the Real Housewives. Not everyone lives their life seeking fame or fortune. I think that is a big generalization. You may think it is too good of a deal to pass up but believe me there are plenty of people who would do just that.

  59. AJ says:

    Another textbook symptom is when the narcissist cuts someone off, almost like CLOCKWORK they return about 3 month later trying to repair things. Again, this is textbook, I’ve had this experience with two different narcissists as well. So I am nodding my head thinking of how Jill tried to repair things with Bethenny, after blowing her off so many times.

  60. City Gal says:

    Who cares? I couldn’t care less about analyzing these RHs. I do not care about how they live or their personalities. Why do you spend so much time analyzing and writing about the lives of others? I am self-involved. Who cares to sit and analyze THEM.

    Plus, I think much of the drama is scripted. All of these RH shows have an antagonist; one woman who provides conflict. And they film the conflict so the shows remain interesting. It’s all dopey entertainment to me… nothing more, and not worth all this absurd analysis.

    • angelofdevs says:

      That is you and how you feel. I respect that.

      That being said, I do not understand why the fact that I do enjoy blogging about this bothers you. My reasons are my own and have nothing to do with you or your life. Many people here enjoy reading the blog and their reasons for doing so are also not your concern. If you do not enjoy this blog or the subject matter than I suggest you don’t pay attention to it. There are a good many things in life I am uninterested in, I simply do not understand the appeal of them. My solution is I ignore them and move on.

      I don’t mean my comments as rude. You do not *get* me and the feeling is mutual. No hard feelings. I wish you well in finding subjects that do catch your interest. To each their own.

    • Jan says:

      Why did you read the blog and comment if you do not enjoy coming to it? There are many blogs on the web. Go find one YOU like.

  61. Lilybop says:

    Everything Jill says or does is in service of her own interests. Remember when Bethenny announced her engagement at a club, and Jill ran away when she saw her? Later she told Bobby that if she doesn’t say something, she, Jill, will look like a piece of S#%$, which is the only reason she talked with Bethenny outside.

    Jill also lies and twists the truth to serve her purpose. When Ramona told them Bethenny emailed her with news of her father’s death, Jill went ballistic because she was out of the loop. She acted as if this were news, but earlier in the day she’d notified Alex of the death, according to Alex who was angry Jill was sending her gossip. Ramona has been terrific this season, amplifying Jill’s self absorbed behavior.

    Remember when Jill left the fashion show last season because she wasn’t in the front row. She has to be treated like “the best”. Instead of PR people, she needs therapy, though people with her disorder are tough nuts to crack. Thanks for a terrific blog!

    • Secretly Addicted says:

      Ugh. How can anyone forget her stupid excuse at that year’s reunion about that incident. “I was late picking up my daughter from school”. It’s the same crap she fed to B. at this year’s reunion about being so rude at the fashion show this year. “I just dropped my daughter off at her first last day of school.” WTF did that mean?

  62. kate says:

    i’m glad you brought up that thing about the fashion show. that was just creepy. jill zarrin is fashionista in her own mind. by no means is she anywhere in the prominent pecking order of real society or fashionististas in nyc. and when she wondered why she didn’t know Sonja? Seriously, she wants us to think she runs in hip, monied circles. Monied maybe but you will never, ever take the long island out of her and move her into cool circles. she just doesn’t have the goods.

    • Marybelle says:

      That is probably why she gets along so well with LuAnn – they are both so transparently desperate and insufferable about pursuing their own interests. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard LuAnn say ‘countess’ with a serious face I could buy my own house in the hamptons! Her and Jill both grasp at straws to prove how ‘above’ the other ladies are instead of just being themselves and enjoying life. I loved when Sonja – who clearly had never really met any of the women except Ramona before the show – heard about the goggle alert and was like what is that and the look on her face was ‘who cares… ‘ Jill and LuAnn are THE WORST.

  63. Lilybop says:

    I forgot Jill’s most transparent lie. At the summit with Bethenny she stated, ‘I never gossip about you, I’m your biggest cheerleader’, both lies. Google alert told her Bethenny was pregnant, so she called Luann stating that she needed gossip. Gossip is too mild a word when it comes to Jill. Jill needs gossip like her pet dog needs kisses. It’s not just that she enjoys it. She initiates it or perpetuates it, and I think it actually makes her feel powerful.

  64. PeachPie says:

    Right on the money!

    I was baffled by Jill’s copious amounts, of anger ridden responses towards Alex. Why couldn’t she be friends with Alex? What is it about Alex that she didn’t find amusing, intriguing, or simply worth it to have her in her life? Alex seems to be an honest, caring woman with a humble past, so I think that her life experiences would be super entertaining to entertain.

    Maybe Alex reminds her too much of her? Jill didn’t grow up rich, per se, until after meeting Bobby. I was gonna say, her “Prince Charming”, but we all know Bobby is NOT her prince. She’s there to be financially supported by a man that gives her his all. Though I’m sure Jill’s learnt to care for him, I know she loves him more as a person, than as a lover.

    Bethenny outgrew the BS, rightfully so, and I doubt (and hope) she won’t ever go back to that toxic, envious friendship. Once you lose a certain comfort level with a person, it’s a tough deal to come back to “good”.

  65. Emma says:

    It’s difficult to imagine working your stuff out in therapy in front of a camera and millions of viewers. I really feel for Bethany and her struggle to find peace of mind. I know this is not about Luanne, but she really irks me. I think she’s a very dangerous woman because she is always on the periphery of drama ready to insert herself and stir the pot. And OMG, didn’t anyone tell her she can’t sing???

  66. marcia straus says:

    I love your insightful analyses of the Housewives.

    Now–how about us? We seem to be intelligent, functioning women (judging from the comments), probably above average in most areas. What is the pull these crazy Housewives have on us?

    There are a lot of scripted shows I love (Mad Men) but I have never become so profoundly emotionally involved in anything I’ve watched on TV. I’m a transplanted Californian, so it isn’t even a shared cultural thing. And I don’t have a single person even remotely like these women in my life. My friends are all caring, accomplished women. Not one resembles anyone in this bunch. So, what gives?
    Could you devise some kind of psych evalutation test we could all take so you could analyze us? It would be so interesting. I’d love to see the stats on who we viewers are, why we watch and what that says about us.
    And then, we should all deluge Bravo with requests that you and Richard (can’t remember his last name) from Gawker have your own post-RHONY show.

    • Jan says:

      Loved your comment. I only enjoy and watch the NYC housewives. I watched the others a couple times but did not enjoy them. My excuse for getting so involved is I just retired this year and have no more office drama in my life. LOL I felt bad for Jill and Bethenny as they both are TIRED of the battle and did not want to answer the viewer questions but Andy had plenty to confront them with. Bethenny seemed to be honest and REAL. Jill was hurting but was it because she lost a friend or because she lost FANS? Bethenny was hurting because Jill had rejected her for most of this season and Kelly has put her through hell from day one . My opinion is Jill regrets getting Bethenny on the show as fans love Bethenny. The exposure gave Bethenny more gigs and her own show. Jill feels she is queen of the show and now is facing the fact that fans are not visiting her throne. Fans like to visit Bethenny’s kitchen and watch her talk in her PJ’s. This is causing Jill much pain. I would like to see Jill and her mother be invited to Bethenny’s show to visit the baby and the 3 talk motherhood. They could discuss Jill’s book etc.

      • Secretly Addicted says:

        Oh, please! Jill is only apologizing now and on TV to gain the favor of the public once again. It’s a classic move that narcissists do. They are never sorry for their conduct, because they cannot see that they ever to do anything wrong in the first place. They only use apologies as a way to get what they want, and in Jill’s case, she wants her popularity to be what it was in seasons 1 and 2.

      • dcscrewylouie says:

        Oh PLEASE… no wishing Gloria onto BGM?… can’t stand that woman! Personality disorders are a result of something going awry during the developmental years, so don’t think this ol’ broad ain’t plenty culpable.

      • Nancyusa says:

        Just wanted to set something straight. Jill did not get Bethenny on the show. Jill and Bethenny met on the show. Bethenny was very clear on that point in the reunion.

        Actually Jill’s version of the origins of the cast ( that she was the first one cast and she “found” the other cast members ) is not entirely true and is another example of her attempt to elevate her importance.

        Alex, Luann, Kelly, Sonya, Jen and Bethenny were cast by Bravo, Jill had never met any of them outside of the show. I think Jill did recommend Ramona to Bravo.

    • Corrrina says:

      I watch the Real Housewives specifically to see how these women behave from a psychological and human interaction experience. It’s fascinating to me and I’m able to spot which housewife has what disorder fairly quickly from observing their behaviour. None of them seem to be clever enough to see how we viewers see them and how it’s pretty clear they have some serious behavioural and mental issues that need addressing. Kelly definitely looks like she has a substance abuse problem. Bethanny clearly self-sabotages all her relationships and will continue to do so until she really starts loving herself and forgiving all those who damaged who in her childhood. She is way too aggressive and defensive. It shows me that she has not let a lot of her past go, or come to terms with it at least. Fine example was her birthday party that Jason threw for her where she had a complete meltdown. I can sort of understand that she was having an anxiety episode because she felt so uncomfortable with the attention being on her, something she was not used to. At least Bethanny is seeking help from her therapist. She is a bright cookie and she’s clearly doing incredibly with Skinny Girl, but I really do feel sad for her because of her aggressiveness. I just see a wounded little girl who just needs love and affection, nurturing and guidance, and told that everything is going to be alright and that she is loved more than anything in the world. I wonder if it’s too late for that though.
      Lu Ann I think has an alcohol problem. It’s now 2017 so well after her and the Count and her and Jacques’ relationships have ended. She’s a big partier by the looks of it and her voice is getting deeper and deeper which says she’s smoking like a trooper and partying hard. I don’t see good things for her unfortunately.
      Sonja I love and adore, but saying she is delusional and living in a fantasy land is an understatement. Talking about all these businesses that she has (none of which came to anything – cue that Toaster Oven!!). Bethanny hit the nail on the head, and so did Kristen’s husband, telling her that she needs to focus on one thing. Having said that, I really like Sonja’s sweetness and elegance. I hope she does well because she is likeable, albeit not very bright.
      Ramona, definite full-on manic woman. I didn’t observe Ramona in any depressed states, only manic. Imagine living with that. Exhausting I bet. She definitely has no radar. Incidentally what would you suggest for someone who has no radar and expels insults on a regular basis?
      Thanks so much for this blog. It has been fascinating reading a professional view of these people. It will help a lot of people as they recognise themselves or loved ones exhibiting similar behaviours. Please keep writing.

  67. dcscrewylouie says:

    I see on Jill’s blog that she’s tired of apologizing and no one forgiving her, so she’s done trying. She says, “To err is human, to forgive divine” and why can’t her castmates find their divinity and just forgive her already!! I don’t think Jill realizes the true meaning of that idiom, which is that we humans are naturally imperfect creatures, LACKING in the divinity necessary to forgive.

    Oh Jill,
    The truth is you can never control whether or not other people will forgive you. Making amends is about more than SAYING you’re sorry, you have to also SHOW that you are sorry through all your future actions. Forgiveness is built on trust. PROVE through your DEEDS (not your words) that you were mistaken, you are sorry, and you have changed. Even then, it is not always guaranteed that people will forgive you. That is the risk you take when you behave badly.

    • dcscrewylouie says:

      Let me clarlify the meaning of the idiom a bit more: humans are lacking in the divinity to forgive ABSOLUTELY. For humans, forgiveness is an OPTION ONLY if it is deserved. But we WILL err, that IS absolute.

      • angelofdevs says:

        I think Jill Zarin needs to actually be sorry and take full responsibility for her actions before anyone should forgive her. Every *apology* she gives is followed by a rationalization or justification for her own behavior. She also is still trying to shift blame onto other people. To me that is not truly sorry.

        Genuine remorse has to include the self awareness that we are to blame for some type of harm to another person and the willingness to accept the responsibility for that without any excuses. I doubt we will see that from Jill Zarin.

      • JMH says:

        Right, Jill isn’t sorry, she is just trying to game the system. She has said sorry in the past, yet continued to do horrible things to others showing she does not change her spots. The women have come to see this in her and don’t want to continue being victims. Jill is her own worst enemy and is going down a path that is going to destroy her marriage.

      • alexandra says:

        Plus, Jill says “Sorry, but I can’t change”. So her apology is nullified, as she is unwilling to examine her failings and try to correct them. that is not a substantive apology; but Jill is not interested in becoming a better person.

  68. janet says:

    any one who would wear those hideous slime-limegreen shoes(on the reunion show) has to have an enormous need for attention. good or bad. just notice me. me only. and my slime-limegreen boats.(i mean shoes.)

    • dianahelen says:

      they looked like they had white sale stickers on the bottom when she crossed her legs. Hilarious. Cheap bitch. she would never pay retail for anything. I believe that

  69. dcscrewylouie says:

    At the Reunion Part 3, JillZy explained how she empathized with Kelly’s experience on St. Johns against the “mean girls” because she experienced the same when she arrived for her surprise/uninvited/unwelcome visit: “And YOU were the source of a lot of it, Alex. YOU WERE!!” WOW!! Not only self-absorbed, but SO narcissistic! She is preying on the weak mind of a paranoid delusional (Kelly) to feed her own neurosis. It’s like a serial killer without the gore! Shame on The Zarin!!

    • Karen Lee says:

      jill’s attitude at that moment reversed all of her apologies for her behavior. she is an ugly human being & i mean on the inside. bethenny is smart to get away from this toxic woman, protect her family from jill.

      • jmh says:

        Yes, Jill showed she hadn’t changed at all; just switched her focus to Alex, who was actually one of the least sources of controversy on that trip. The venom she directed at her was disturbing, but also a reflection of the bullying behavior she has shown towards Alex and her husband from the first season. She also couldn’t throw that anger at Bethany since she is trying to get back into her good graces due to Beth’s success (hoping some of that popularity will rub off on her), so the anger she directed at Alex was completely out of proportion for the situation.

    • Marybelle says:

      I feel like Jill really does care about Bethenny – maybe jealousy motivated ALOT of her bhx this season, but I think now she genuinely misses her friend and maybe she really misses herself and not what the show has made her become. She has made a complete 180 since season 1 (and even s2). I think part of her emotionally craziness comes from not knowing how or liking how this ‘new’ Jill Zarin acts. Its really weird…

      NOT defending Jill’s bhx at all – I just really believe she did (does) care about Bethenny and they really were friends before the show and maybe she sincerely misses having a true friend. They both seemed really emotional and genuine when they were addressing each other at the reunions. I think part of the reason she blames Alex so much because she resents Alex & B growing together as friends where as there is no longer room for JIll in B’s life.

      Maybe they shouldn’t be friends anymore as they have obviously both moved away from the people they were when the friendship started – they have both changed a lot. And I think both ladies have become a little too focused on the public and fame. I also think Bethenny said it best when she mentioned losing a long-time close friend is a like a divorce and it is so hard to move past that and just walk away. Its really sad – in fact – their friendship and the breakup is pretty much the only thing that has seemed real to me throughout this entire show. That and Turtle Time! 😉 (kidding… )

      I hope Jill AND Kelly leave the show (and drag Loony Lu with them) and the other four stay on.

      • dcscrewylouie says:

        Bethenny’s sincere emotion toward Jill (yes, you could tell they had been genuine friends as far as she was concerned and that B DID miss Jill) had me feeling sympathy toward Jill going into last night’s show. But Jill torpedoed that when she tried to piggyback on Kelly’s misery to garner sympathy for herself. What a User!! Again, shame on The Zarin!

        KKB should not be back because she is clearly unwell and to have her back would be exploitive. Jill should only be back IF Alex (who may have come across as too much of a social climber in Season One, but is actually the ONLY true friend of the bunch) is asked back first. Go Team Alex!

        Another thing that broke my heart last night: on Bethenny Getting Married?, Jason’s mother clearly is ready to step up and be a mom to B, but Bethenny is a bit reserved with her (you could see it when they wedding dess shopped and B mentioned it to her therapist.) I have no doubt that in addition to her deep seeded abandonment issues from childhood, Bethenny is feeling pretty stung by the rejection she received at the hands of The Zarin, REPEATEDLY. So sad. And JZ expects B to just let her back in to her and her child’s life? Once bitten, twice shy… especially if you’ve been bitten by The Zarin.

  70. Ggee says:

    OMGosh! I’m so glad someone spoke of the VENOM Jill spewed in Alex’s direction … I was as dumb-founded as Alex looked (her facial expression) when Jill accused Alex of being the source of bad behavior. Are you kidding me? Did she not watch the 2-part episode of Kelly’s mean-girl/break-down?

    • Lex says:

      I’m glad you- and others- have mentioned the Zarinator’s venom against Alex. HEAVENS. That was pure, raw, rage and it really seemed to be the most *honest* of her feelings- that she’s angry at no longer having a VIP Box in Bethenny’s life, angry at seeing Alex sitting where she used to be, and resentful of not being there. Jill Zarin is an angry, venom-filled lady, and the selected moments of crocodile tears don’t change that.

      Thing is, how she directs her anger is another issue- she’s not going to direct that anger at Bethenny, when she wants to be back in B’s good graces (and reflected success/popularity). Nor will she spark a war with Ramona, who has the social cojones to take her on and win. She goes after Alex, who looks like the least socially established in NY, and the one she can damage the most- and the one who had the most guts to get in her face and tell her like she is. And this is what makes her that Mean Girl.

      Oh, and speaking of Jill, she’s been repeating her “Amazongate” behavior on other blog/recap forums (LA Times Showtracker)- writing pro comments about herself (and those shoes) and using her incredibly dumb “Susan Saunders” alias again. The Zarin is mean and noisy, but the Zarin doesn’t seem terribly smart.

      • riba says:

        Lex, I doubt she is that stupid to use the Susan Saunders alias. I can imagine someone who hates her is doing that to make some more bad publicity around her.

        That said I still believe she is a bully. The one thing that could have saved her face at the reunion would have been making up with Alex, which she clearly did not do because she feels she is so much better than her.

      • Karen says:

        Riba, I don’t think it’s possible to create an Amazon account and backdate it to 2001. Furthermore, I definitely think Jill would do anything to promote her book, even if it meant doing something desperate like posting under fake names on Amazon. She would love, love, love to have a best seller like Bethenny and Teresa.

      • riba says:

        Karen, let me correct myself. There is no doubt in my mind she used the Susan Saunders alias at Amazon to write positive review for her book and trash talk the other reviewer. But I think she is not that dumb to keep using it on LA Showtracker (as Lex stated) after the Amazongate was all over the Internet.

        But who knows. It’s beyond my mental capacities to comprehend those women anyway. Watching the show is for me like watching some interesting species at the ZOO.

      • riba says:

        I meant to say capabilities. Sorry

      • Lex says:

        Riba- perhaps, as you say, she wouldn’t be dumb enough to recycle that alias on the Showtracker piece I mentioned. In saying so, I wanted to make a point about how I think she’s still playing dirty in the press. Even if she didn’t physically type the words, I think she would think up the tactic and put someone else to it.

        On Twitter, there’s a similar mess. Someone in the Zarin camp has gone as far as to impersonate the Amazon reviewer who received threats from her- Alana Chandler- on Twitter by creating a fake account to Tweet she actually did like the book. The real Alana has had to make a complaint to Twitter about this further harassment and identity fraud, and I contend JZ at the origin (and not necessarily the keyboard or the phone.)

  71. Jan says:

    Jill at the reunion made sure she said “spread eagle” and at YOUR husband’s hotel twice. Jill wanted to hurt Simon at his job by saying that. Jill then said she would not come back if Alex was still on the show. She wanted to ruin Alex’s chance of future employment on the show. Jill tried to get Alex and Ramona to destroy Bethenny’s employment when she requested they not film with Bethenny. I felt sorry for Jill when she would cry but then the HATE would come from Jill’s mouth towards Alex. Jill said she has changed. The only change is she quit hating on Bethenny IN PUBLIC and switched all her hate towards Alex. I think Jill is not happy inside. She always talks about Bobby spent this and bought that for her. Does she Bobby as a checkbook or as a loving husband?

    • onvacation says:

      Yes…. her remarks towards Alex were horrible, exaggerated and just so mean-spirited. After trying to come off all evening as a “new woman”, she couldn’t hold herself back from hurling a big zing when she had a chance. This is where Jill really should keep herself in check; her stinging comments make her look like a narrow-minded shrew – very very different from the way she wants to be depicted. For someone who professes to be such a sophisticate, she is actually just a homey with not much breeding. Her side comments are really what puts people off – so judgmental for someone so young. Very sad.

  72. kellie says:

    not that i would wear turquoise shoes .. but, i thought they were cute and fun and definitely not “slime lime green”. not hatin’, just my opinion .. that’s all. 🙂

  73. Sarah says:

    I love this blog! Your insights are right on, and the comments are great! I sometimes wonder why I spend any time thinking about the RH, but I do! I think my brain is trying to make sense of the behaviors I see. But you can’t make sense of people who are ill. Anyways, this last season of RHONY has been interesting, I used to think Jill was great, but it is true when they say her “true colors” are out there now. How dreadful for her! haha And Bethenny is turning out to be rather charming, I enjoyed the first episode of her show. She was accomodating and entertaining, and I thought she did great with Jason’s mom.

  74. Caitlin says:

    Wow! Your insights have the ring of authenticity, especially about the 2 women – Jill and The Countess – who really make my blood boil. Now I know why, as your blog helped me realize that these two remind me of toxic relationships from the past. I, too, applaud Bethenny for getting help so that she can fully enjoy her new life, husband, baby, career, etc. Her instinct to avoid making room for Jill in that new life was breathtakingly healthy. One wants to feel badly for someone who is crying and saying they are sorry, but somehow (the therapy? too much pain? gut instinct?), Bethenny was able to step away from the Mean One in an open, honest way without succumbing to meanness herself. A triumph!!! Many thanks for clarifying what has been going on here — hope you will keep it up.

  75. Jessica says:

    I really got into this season of RHONY and particularly felt strong emotions against Jill Zarin. I have always wondered how this show can get to me like this. I really like this article about the show:

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-02-26/wives-gone-wild/

    Here’s a quote that really stays with me,

    “It’s a female outlet for aggression, with the viewer achieving vicarious pleasure,” reasons Dr. Cirillo. “You can identify with the aggressor or you can identify with the victim. In the happy ending, the victim wins and you can vicariously enjoy her retaliation against the other woman. She gets back at the biggest bitch.”

    I like thinking about the show as my way of watching boxing. I get to take out my anger on the Jill Zarins in my life by watching how Bethenney, Alex, and Ramona deal with her. After reading the comments, I thought other readers would like this article.

  76. onvacation says:

    Does anyone else agree with me that Jill’s recent softer side has been influenced by meds? Even her facial expressions seem softer lately. Her knee-jerk negativity and mean-girl comments of last season seem to be held in check lately and I think this could only have come by chemical alteratioin rather than inner exploration. She seems calmer and more laid back on the reunion shows – watch the way she sits – not positioned in an aggressive fighting stance. I feel she is finally taking something to control her negativity.

  77. Greetings, I like your website. This is a nice site and I wanted to post a note to let you know, good job! Thanks MiMi

  78. Dux17 says:

    Enjoyed reading all your analysis of the RHs. I feel like I’m part of a cult and I didn’t have to change my address! I’ve been watching the housewives for the past 4 years (beginning w/the OC ). At first, I found it funny to see forty somethings (like myself) behaving like a high school drama queens. Then the show revealed phony friendships, binge boozing at it’s best and a blatant disregard of money matters. It became the car wreck I couldn’t look away from. When Laurie removed herself from the show so she could better focus on her family, especially on her son with a drug addiction, I was pleased to see somebody was thinking clearly. Fast forward to present day, I’m still watching this highway pile up. Why?… Part of me hopes that these women aren’t so shallow and that one of them, just one, might actually correct themselves when their either being rude, nasty or self serving. But that doesn’t make “good TV”, pay the advertisers or sell records (re-runs). These housewives aren’t real, they’re payed actors and will push the envelope so their scenes won’t get cut. For twenty years I’ve been a mom, housewife and a TV producer and I have yet to meet a bunch of knuckleheads like these women. But I’ll keep rooting for the one housewife that rises above and breaks away from the pack… yes, it could happen;)

    • Cheri says:

      I think Ramona has tried to make changes to herself this year

      • Dux17 says:

        This is a estrogen fueled production. I hope this re-newel was Ramona’s idea. I been in plenty of brainstorming meetings where writers/producers come up with ideas that will propel the characters. Remember Vicki (RHWOC) and Dons reuniting?? I hope Ramona’s re-new attempt is genuine… we all want to see strong women succeed, not only in they’re careers, but especially in love affairs. TBS (that being said) Ramona’s is still a wild card and when she acknowledges she doesn’t know when to shut her mouth, she is admitting she does… Maybe Ramona will pull it all together next season?

  79. onvacation says:

    Bethenny is safe from Jill; Alex is now the next pickle in the barrel for Jill to pick on. Notice how many times Jill says “It doesn’t matter, we’re not friends.” She likes to hit Alex over the head with that phrase every chance she has; it’s the only way she can let Alex know that no matter what, she will never be worthy of being in the Zarin inner circle. Typical mean girl high school antics. Jill is the cheerleader and Alex is the valedictorian. Jill is threatened by Alex’s mind. Her extremely well-articulated comebacks are a sharp contrast to Jill’s nasal solliloquoies on who wronged her now. It is tiresome to hear her whining about her perceied slights when she has so much to be thankful for.

  80. Zachary says:

    Here is “my take” on your observation of Jill Zarin based upon the DSM criteria.

    *A grandiose sense of self-importance. These people may exaggerate achievements or expect to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements. ( The words “commensurate achievements” were removed from the DSM in 1996 for being a form of academic snobbery…. There are many forms of success).

    *Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance or beauty. (I do not believe Jill has a pre-occupation but rather a pervasive tendency towards the above mentioned and not in an “unlimited” way).

    *Believes he or she is “special” and unique. They believe they can only be understood by other special or high status persons and that is who they believe they should associate with. (We all are special and/or unique in our own way. Doctors can only truly be understood by other Doctors, Born again Christians like to be with others who subscribe to their point of view etc…)

    *Requires excessive admiration. ( Yes I believe Jill requires more than many other people but less than some).

    *A strong sense of entitlement. This may include unrealistic expectations of especially favorable treatment or an automatic compliance by others with his or her expectations. (That would fit 3/4 of Manhattanites and every other person in this country making more than $800,000 a year…. Ever worked at a TGIF restaurant in the burbs? Those women are the worst! We call them coffee bitches here in Seattle and they get there sense of entitlement from carrying around a cardboard Starbucks cup! I don’t believe Jill is any worse than them).

    *Interpersonally exploitative, often taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends. (I think interpersonal is the key word here. I think Jill could probably get a little bossy with her paid employees but would not have a need to exploit friends or family).

    *Lack of empathy, unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. ( I have seen her cry over other peoples feelings on the show. I have also observed her using self deprecating humor “Yes, I am going to take my marbles and go home”. She may be a 15-17 on the scale of twenty.)

    *Often envious of others or believes others are envious of them. (I wouldn’t say Jill envies others and wouldn’t blame her if she felt others were envious of her after watching the show and reading some blogs).

    *Demonstrates arrogant or haughty behaviors or attitudes. (Yes, Jill defiantly does but usually there is some humor involved and even when she is not trying to be funny about her arrogance, I find it more amusing than destructive.)

    I like your blog! I am glad that you brought some perspective to these womens’ personalities…… But I must convey my observations of your assessments as well.

    You were able to make an emotionally unfettered opinion with all of the women except Jill….

    This tells me that you probably share many if not most of the traits in her that you hate OR that you are jealous of her for marrying well…. One or the other period.

    Best wishes to you and I hope this blog carries well beyond just “housewives”. I love it!

    • angelofdevs says:

      Thanks for the kind words but I do find your conclusions a bit illogical.

      First of all that if there was a difference in my analysis of Jill it may be because she was the first bloganalysis I did. Hopefully I have gotten a bit more detached. For the record, it is true, I do not like Jill. It has nothing to do with jealousy or sharing traits with her. Trust me, many people do not like her and it is not due to either of those reasons except in Jill’s head. Contrary to your belief, not everyone is motivated by money or fame.

      I dislike that she never takes responsibility for her own behavior and instead blames everyone around her. Jill cannot give any semblance of an apology without blasting another person in the same breath. I find her very insincere.

      As for whether I dislike her because I am somehow similar and projecting some deep seated self loathing onto her, I would say no. I have my flaws, I make mistakes and I will freely admit to both and make amends without blaming others for my behaviors.

      • Zachary says:

        Hello again,

        I was going to let it go “at that” until you changed your original response. You removed the part where you compared your own fading “OCD” to Betheneys… Just like the “The Pretty Pretty Popular One”.

        As for my conclusions being illogical, I can understand why this wouldn’t make sense to YOU.

        As a matter of fact I think Jill was your only motivation for starting this blog and that all of your sub-sequential analysis with all of the other women was a way for you to cover up your true feelings by saying “it’s not just about her”….. “look at al the other ones I’ve done”.

        When you said “trust me other people don’t like her either”. What you should have said was “SOME other WOMEN don’t like her”. All of my male friends think Jill is a hoot!

        And if I am writing down my observations of other peoples’ jealousy then it’s NOT JUST in Jills’ head……. Unless you presume to dictate my own thoughts and observations to me. (Maybe your special)?

        I must point out that I made no reference to money or fame when I said “Jill married well”.
        I only meant that Bobby adores her so completely and would do almost ANYTHING for her, the money is just the icing on the cake and there really isn’t as much there as people think… It’s only a small family business. Oh, and Bobby wasn’t ever famous either… So where did you get all of that from?

        When you said that Jill could not apologize without blasting someone else in the same breath, It leaves me wondering if we watched the same show. Because every time I saw Jill trying to make an apology, one of the other women interrupted her in the middle of it instead of giving validation to Jills feelings. (selective memory perhaps)? I’ve found her to be a very sincere person….. (strange).

        When you say that she blames others for her behavior………. I say I have seen those women intentionally pushing her buttons and then acting surprised when she reacts.

        Think about it, You started a blog based on hate. Even calling your self The Angel of Devils…… No sense of superiority there …… You good… Them bad….. Right?

      • angelofdevs says:

        First off I mention OCPD which is not the same as OCD but yes my issues would be more similar to Bethenny or Vicki. I deleted it because I thought it was an overshare as this blog is not about me.

        Second of all I am married to someone nicknamed Dev and when we met years ago, all of our friends thought it would be cute to nickname me Angel because we are such opposites, since then my online name has been AngelOfDevs and he is DevOfAngels. He is not devilish but has a distinctively wicked look about him whereas I look angelic and conservative comparitively, I never said I was angelic and he is the sweetest man ever and not devilish either. Nothing nefarious there. Sorry to diappoint.

        I think you are insincere and clearly looking to bash me and my blog. A lot of housewives fans are a bit overzealous in this manner. I did not start this blog on hate, I actually started it out of boredom and trying to understand what exactly had me hooked on the housewives. If you find it so distasteful then spare me insincere compliments and uninformed rants and find elsewhere to hang out. No one is forcing you to read or respond. I continue to analyze women not out of concealment but enlightenment, I actually want to see what makes each one of them tick.

        My husband does not like Jill Zarin and neither does my father, I also know plenty of my male friends do not like Jill Zarin. You do, good for you, but I dislike the generalization. Also not everyone who dislikes Jill is jealous, I pointed out clearly why I do not like her. If you cannot see it then perhaps it is you who shares some similarities?

        As for Jill’s behavior, regardless of button pushing by others as an excuse, she needs to own her behavior. It is often ugly and no not just when she is being *goaded*.

      • JMH says:

        Zach: you seemed to have watched a different show than the rest of us. Jill is very manipulative and only apologizes when circumstances suit her. Her popularity tanked, especially after Amazon-gate and the horrible way she treated several people, including stomping Bethany trying to make up into the dirt. She only wanted to make up with her when it became profitable to do so. Jill is what my husband calls a toxic personality. Have you read her book? Where she states marry for money and marry someone who loves you more than you love him? It’s pretty telling on how to be a gold digger.

    • Zachary

      “This tells me that you probably share many if not most of the traits in her that you hate OR that you are jealous of her for marrying well…. One or the other period. ”

      You have to be kidding me. You had me at hello then you shown your ugly head. Come on.. Jill lost popularity THIS season (not the past 2) and its not because we are jealous of her marrying UP or identify with her character deficiencies. If that was the case, she would not of had the popularity the first two seasons.

      Obviously your last name must be somehow connected by DNA to the Jill Zaaaaarrriiinnnn!!!!!

      Give me a freakin break.

      • Zachary says..

        “I must point out that I made no reference to money or fame when I said “Jill married well”.”

        Unless you live under a rock, the phrase “marrying well” is commonly used to inadvertantly say married someone who is a great provider.. Yes.. that means money.. lord have mercy.. maybe MEN might not get the jist of the phrase.

        You are clearly “passive aggresive” in your attack to this blog owner. What a great blog.. YOU are jealous!! Yes.. I said “passive aggresive” and I didnt major in the psycho babble. lmaooooo I slay meself..

        You said.. “When you said that Jill could not apologize without blasting someone else in the same breath, It leaves me wondering if we watched the same show. Because every time I saw Jill trying to make an apology, one of the other women interrupted her in the middle of it instead of giving validation to Jills feelings.”

        Maybe we DIDNT see the same show. Everytime someone called out Jill, she first, denied, called them a liar.. then said.. YOUR RIGHT!!! I AM NOT PERFECT!! I AM SORRY!!

        How sincere is that? You must of been raised with the same mudda sporned from the same brudda.

        Obviously you must be cut from the same cloth if you think its certainly acceptable to deny, accuse and apologize in the same sentence. Why else would you be so defense and attacking the blogger for which she has not returned the favor.

        Go crawl back under your fabric rock and Mazel to you and yours. Hey.. how is Jills behavior working for her now? So many fans.. so little time to hire minions to do her bidding.

        Angel.. dont waste your fingers typing to this moehole. Probaly trying to make lemonade from lemons on the hill made from the mole while giving Jill Zaaaaarrrriinnn a blowout.

        Satchels of Gold to you Zachary!!!!

      • Zachary says:

        I am not Jewish, but now I know that how it feels to be on the receiving end of an anti– Semitic tirade! My opinion of Jill is not going to change! People need someone to hate somebody in order to feel better about themselves! During the 1980’s it was a fictional character named Alexis Colby. Today it looks like Jill Zarin is Americas punching bag….. Shame on you all!

      • angelofdevs says:

        Excuse you. There has been no anti semitic attacking from me, this has nothing to do with anyone’s religion and for you to say that is completely out of line. Shame on you for that. Antisemitism is not a term to be bandied about lightly and to say it when it is clearly not true is wrong on many levels. True antisemitism is wrong, crying wolf about it is too.

      • jmh says:

        anti– Semitic tirades? What reality are you living in?

  81. Kimberly says:

    The one comment I was waiting for at the reunion was when Jill claimed Bethenny wiped out Jill’s and Bobby’s bank account. I don’t believe that, but it never came up and that was probably the worst thing Jill said.

  82. Kimberly says:

    I know she’s not a real housewife, but could you do a profile on Kate Gosselin?

  83. onvacation says:

    I think Jill is the universal point of hate simply because many women have a “Jill” figure they had to deal with at some point in their lives, either in school, work, or in their own families. She is the embodiment of everything we need to learn about ourselves to gain our badges of mature sanity. If you are a naive or sincerely good person who does not have the know-how or fortitude to do battle with this type of personality it can become your undoing. Learning to understand the type and protect yourself against the negativity is a life lesson that you will not soon forget. Because of their strong manipulative pull it can be very confusing. I think men can be duped more easily by the charm than women. That’s why I love this site; we are really trying to understand what makes certain personalities tick….we can all relate. Although Danielle is possibly the darker and more overtly aggressive personality of the two, Jill is still just as dangerous – she just knows how to blend and cover her tracks better.

  84. Emma says:

    Jill is just not likable. She is an opportunist and whines about everything and to boot, she’s just not that interesting.

    • Karen Lee says:

      Jill can’t pull off what is so natural for BF. A biting, witty, sense of humor. People are attracted to her & repulsed by Jill. That’s the truth and Jill can’t handle the truth.
      s/Al Sharpton

  85. Zachary says:

    Jill Zarin is someone who has obviously been very hurt at some point in her life. What you see as narcissism, I see as a defense mechanism. It’s called consternation anxiety. The proverbial Fight or flight response that is usually seen in people suffering from PTSD.

    • Oh lord.. U killin me now.. I also see Jill had a bad meal somewhere and was PISSED thinking someone would spit in her meal.. and and.. SHE IS SO DAMAGED!!!! BAWBIE!!!!!

      Totally PTSD.. I think You need a new line of work.. dont quit your day job..

    • angelofdevs says:

      I would suggest some classes in human behavior for you.

    • Zach says.. “an anti– Semitic tirade!” Where the hell do you get that?? Are you taking lessons from Jill for being a victim???

      What the hell?? Oh no!! I cant fight fairly and lets call racism?? You are as pathetic as Jill.. Go cry a river on her fur collar..

      • Zachary says:

        I got this link from a comment box on focus on fashion.com and after reading all the smut on all the other blogs I really did find this refreshing by comparison. But then I realized it was just more of the same…….

      • angelofdevs says:

        Yes most blogs don’t take it well if you come in with an intent to insult, attack and harrass. You like Jill, good for you. I don’t judge you for it. You however take that I do not like Jill as open season for you to attack me and my blog in a very illogical way. When I point it out to you, you get meaner. I don’t imagine there are any blogs that tolerate this. You have made your little point, now move on. If you stay I suggest you try to behave in a civilized fashion towards others. Tossing around untruths will not endear you to other people.

      • Zachary says:

        How about if I report you to the anti- defamation leauge instead?

      • angelofdevs says:

        You are more than welcome to. I have nothing to hide and the only person who feels my blog is antisemitic is you.

  86. Zach.. fer sure.. you need to get an edumacation in some civility. Come to a blog.. pretend to be civil.. but then the shark comes out.. You are as transparent as Jill. OMG.. did I say cut from the same cloth??

    Bring it mr. We got your and Jills numba!!! and your numba is up!! MAZEL!!!

  87. Karen Lee says:

    oh please zachary, sell crazy somewhere else, we’re all booked up here with jill.

    • Zachary says:

      I am not trying to sell crazy here. I am just standing up for a friend of an old friend…. This is personal, I am not just some fan and I don’t troll sites (watever that means). But hey, I think I made my point….. Time to get back to cooking dinner now, I can see trying to defend Jill Zarin here will be a waste of time. Z-

      • angelofdevs says:

        I think everyone can judge from your behavior here what has happened and why. You went on the attack then was annoyed when I pointed out you were illogical, it quickly spiralled into you throwing around terms like antisemitism and getting hostile. People are welcome to talk about the housewives and add their thoughts, heck I love a different perspective if it is respectful.

        If you had kept your observations about Jill or narcissism rather than trying to speculate quite harshly on me personally it would have been fine. I am not the subject here, the housewives are. You know nothing about me. You are more than welcome to tell me my writing sucks or my train of thought is flawed but to say I must be jealous of her or a narcissist myself was out of line and made no sense at any rate. The top half of your first post was interesting, your conclusion was insulting and yes, illogical.

        When I pointed this out to you it got ugly indeed. You insulted me further on no basis in fact, mere speculation. Then you are surprised you are not made to feel welcome and are insulting of other posters. Saying that people are antisemitic because they use the term mazel? Huh?

        I think you have handled yourself poorly here. Now all of a sudden you are a friend of a friend of Jill. Yes we have seen that before. Jill apparently likes to have people come defend her not with logic or rational ideas but with spewing of false accusations and attacking others. That is why people have responded poorly, NOT because you like Jill Zarin and disagree with what I have said in regards to her behavior.

      • JMH says:

        And the truth finally comes out. Not that it wasn’t obvious already

      • Its a waste of time because you dont have a defense while taking it personal for a friend of a friend for poor @GingerZarin. That dog needs a good home whose owner does not indulge in bad behavior such as licking its owner nose!! I will not speculate what the dog is digging for!!

        Oh I digress..

  88. Zachary says:

    In fact I am not suprised at all….. and I am not seeking your approval for my remarks. I didn’t say I was a friend of Jills’ I said I was a friend of a friend and niether one of them know I am doing this. Just like you I get a little bored too.

    I think she has gotten a very raw deal. On this site and one (the only) other that I have seen, although I have heard there several more. It looks to me like Jill bashing has become a money making venture for alot of people. ( I am not saying that’s you I don’t see any advertisments here).

    People seem all too happy to dish it out, but aren’t able to take it in return. They can’t see that it is really the same thing when it comes back in thier direction.

    And thoses remarks were anti-semitic…. It was just burried in the sub-text. I lived in NYC for eighteen years and I know it when I see it or hear it or read it….

    We all have our own opinions and points of view and it’s true that I see life through a different lense than others based on my life experience’s The reason I challenged your opinion on Jill , was because I believe your own emotional baggage was playing out. So, it really wasn’t that off topic.

    Never the less, best wishes just the same. Z-

    • Why is it when someone one is questioned, put on the stand who happens to be jewish, anyone who questions them are anti-semitic? Why is that? You can certainly dig and dig and overturn every adjective and verb to substantiate your claim but PAAALLEEAAAZEEEE quit the victim club and get a life!!! Your soup is burning!!!

  89. Emma says:

    Holy catfight!

    • HAH! Zachary brought it.. but doesn’t have the intestinal fortitude to finish it!!! lmaoooo what a tool.

    • Zachary..

      I’m the upstart?? LMAOO!! Again, more proof you are cut from the same cloth of Jill Zaaarrrrrriiinnn!! Dude!! you give me more and more material. Your the one who came to a blog to not really debate, but just attack is if we really care? Also presuming that we CARE what Jill minions defense strategy would have some merit??

      If you are also implying that I have an overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors? DING DING DING!!! I cant help it if you are just that.. inferior with no game and easy pickins.

      Isnt it just easier to just “not reply”? Take your own advice..

    • MmeRouge says:

      Amen, Zack – DO NOT REPLY!!!!

  90. onvacation says:

    Could it be that a lot of what is being labeled as “anti-semitic” are attacks on what are simply regional characteristics? As New Yorkers we like to call each other out as Jewish, Italian, Irish, Black. Spanish, etc.. However, once we leave New York we all become blended into one unique family and it’s enough to identify ourselves as New Yorkers – no sub-labels necessary. Hoping this makes some sense to you….

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  92. kate says:

    someone said jill is small minded. i believe that is true. she’s not sophisticated, she’s new moneyed. it’s different. she has flaws, she’s from long island, 5 towns i assume, this experience will make her change or she will be seen as a pariah. she’s not nearly as attractive or endearing as she thinks she is, she’s just smug but not evil. whatever…none of those women would be friends in real life. everything here is phony and for show. it will be gone soon.

    • Secretly Addicted says:

      I agree, kate. She isn’t nearly as attractive as she thinks she is. Can there be anything more pathetic than a homely middle-aged woman trying to look like a fem-bot? I wish she’d take a page out of Ramona’s book and try dressing and acting her age.

  93. Michele says:

    I would love to know your take on Jill’s behavior regarding her daughter Ally and applying to colleges. She talked about “the best and brightest” and how people “like her” get their children tutors and “spare no expenses” to get them the best education possible. We see that she got the tutor and also took her to a place called Ivy Wise, which I assume was to prep her for applying to Ivy League colleges. I also thought that I heard her say Ally had a Princeton interview. It did seem like she was on the right path.
    THEN when I saw the clip of Jill and her daughter at Ivy Wise, I was in shock because it seemed like she was undermining Ally and doing all the talking about herself. She also seemed to sabotage the tutor with all the nonsense noise making in the kitchen when the tutor was trying to help Ally. Then she said she couldn’t go on Ramona’s trip because she had to make sure that Ally did her college essays that week. Who was doing those essays? Jill? Ally was a senior in high school. Did Jill really need to hold her hand and make sure she was physically present so Ally could do them?? I saw that Ally will be attending College of Staten Island and was kind of bewildered. That’s not a top 10 school. I looked it up – that’s not even a top 500 school. What gives? Did Jill really want her to get the best education or did she want her daughter nearby to control her more easily perhaps? (BTW, I am not bashing the school and think any college education is a good thing.)
    I am by no means saying I am perfect or better, just different and curious as to Jill’s mindset. I wonder if this is a narcissistic trait. Does “overbearing mother” fall in that category somewhere? I have a son in college and when he was in high school he did the whole application process pretty much by himself. After all, he was the one attending, not me. Of course I wrote the appropriate checks (application fees, SAT test fees, etc.) and I did remind him to be mindful of deadlines and was emotionally supportive. I figured if he couldn’t handle the application process then how could he handle being on his own at college? He ended up getting a 100% scholarship to a decent school and is starting his senior year this fall. I would never want to rob him of his sense of pride he feels knowing that he did this all himself. Is that something that a narcissit even considers – their children’s self-esteem, etc.?

    • NYCGal says:

      For narcissists, their children are a kind of accessory — useful for reinforcing the narcissist’s role in society. The incident that to me is most emblematic of JZ’s narcissism is when she brought the cameras along when she took her daughter to Martha’s Vineyard to undergo a detox/diet. It seemed like such a personal and intrusive thing to do to Ally — highlighting her health and weight problems. Moreover, JZ subjected her daughter to an experience of marginal benefit at best, and a whole lot of quackery at worse. One article about Ally’s week of detox described such unorthodox treatments as electric foot baths to draw out toxins and sweat baths. However, Jill got to adopt the showy role of concerned mother willing to fly her daughter to Martha’s Vineyard and spare no expense in a search for Ally’s treatment.

      If you are correct about Ally attending the College of Staten Island, it’s a fascinating prospect. The fact that Ally is going to a second/third tier school is not a big deal — Ally seems very self-possessed and mature, but she may be an indifferent student. What’s even more interesting to me is that College of Staten Island is a local school that is part of the (subsidized) CUNY system. This is a family with lots of resources — Ally could attend a school anywhere in the world, and yet she opts to attend a college within spitting distance of her mother.

  94. Terry says:

    Wasn’t Ally going to Sarah Lawrence? I don’t remember hearing anything about Staten Island. As far as I know, most of the CUNY schools are, well, not very good.

  95. amateur RH says:

    It is really a shame that these women [HWs] have allowed their children to be dragged into the public domain. It is one thing for a grown woman to decide to open up her life to the public for money, but these children did not give their consent and did not have the maturity required to make that decision. Jill has probably damaged her relationship with Ally beyond repair. It’s too bad that Bobby is not Ally’s father because he probably would have had the sense to keep Ally out of the mix had he been able to have any input. It seems like Alex recognized after the first season that having her boys onscreen was not a good idea. Ramona, LuAnn and Kelly have not overly exposed their children the way Jill did. Once again, it’s all about Jill and her need to be adored for ‘helping’ Ally. Some help. Not motherly material at all.

  96. calipam says:

    Just found your blog & find your comments so interesting. I first posted on Kelly B., but had to rush to Jill to see your analysis, & yes, she is quite narcissistic, to the point of being unlikable. I also got a degree in psych, but way back in 1977, so I will say I am definitely a people-watcher with some insight, but go no further!
    I have to admit I was as shocked as Bethenny to see the vindictiveness & spite in Jill emerge in Season 3. The collision of Jill’s true nature with fame & the spotlight created the perfect storm. Where most of us would reflect on an outburst of bad behavior & offer a true apology, Jill’s narcissism led to her feelings of entitlement & being “right,” no matter the cost. To this day, depite the tears of contrition on the reunion, I doubt she gets it.
    It will be interesting to see just who returns on the upcoming season. You’d think after Jill saw herself & especially after the terrible press she got, she’d go home with her tail between her legs….but, I guess that’s not the nature of a true narcissist, so I’m pretty sure she’ll be back, if they ask her!

  97. Jo Marie says:

    I think it became apparent to Jill that she needed Bethenny’s humorous twist to take the sting out of her own constant, disdainful criticism. On their own her comments are simply mean. Her frustration at failing to reconnect with Bethenny has confounded her. The problem with narcissism is that it’s impossible to fathom the reality of other people, their feelings, and the impact they might actually have on oneself.

    • Bonnie says:

      Like Ramona insightfully pointed out: “There was an elephant in the room and you (Jill) were too self-involved to notice it.”

  98. Nina says:

    Just want to add my 5 cents here. Jill is very self absorbed for sure, but what most annoys me about her it’s how materialistic she is. I can hear her saying to Bobby “if you love me, you buy me this…” And she feels so cheated because her b-day and holidays and anniversary are all so close together and than she gets “combined gifts”. Give me a break!
    few of the women said about her that she calculates everything. Everything has a price for her. She spends money and than brags about it, even if it is on gifts for other people. Who does that? I am lucky I don’t have people like this in my life. Bethenny’s quote from reunion “…you count 1000 dollars in fabric ….” I think she might’ve been referring to some fabric she gave to Alex for her house remodeling. I am sure Alex would be happy to pay Jill stinking $1000 instead expected to be grateful to her for life. I would never take anything for free from this kind of person. I remember scene from previous season when she was still friends with Bethenny. They went out for dinner to celebrate Bethenny’s b-day and she kept going on asking Bethenny about the present from her than boyfriend. She got some jewelry I think, but Jill kept asking so what else, what else. At that point Bethenny snapped at her. I remember thinking, how many gifts one supposed to get?! Also she was beaming when she had an event at Saks Fifth Ave because they organize these dinners only for their best customers. She was so proud of it. Like it is some kind of big achievement to shop a lot.
    It is very very annoying to watch something like this especially in this economy with so many hard working people straggling to survive. Actually it is not pleasant to watch in any economy.

    • Secretly Addicted says:

      Oh, Nina, I agree. This is one thing that I can’t stand about Jill. When she showed up on the V.I. trip, and protested to Ramona that “Bobby spent a fortune” to get them there, that said it all. Manipulations like that are what people like her resort to when they know they’re wrong. In her mind, spending lots of money excuses rude behavior.

  99. Pingback: Kelly Killoren Bensimon – Update – Schizoaffective Disorder | A Real Housewife's View

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  101. I am having the best time reading these. You did a great job. Thank you so much.

  102. Anna says:

    What a fantastic site you have here! I love it, great idea! So sickly fascinating to see these people on TV and then read about their head-troubles 😉
    I have only seen the NY shows……and must say I am a bit embarrassed that I find it so riveting ,but there ya have it.
    I didn’t see Alex or Sonja on here….does that mean they are mentally healthy? Surely not! Well, maybe Sonja, I like her. Alex is annoying…come one…say there is something
    wrong there!

  103. suz says:

    angel, as a practicing psychotherapist, I have been impressed with many of your posts and find them to be well thought out. Thought I would share this amusing run in my husband had with Jill Zarin last week. My husband took our son to dinner at the country club where he saw Jill and Bobby. He politely introduced himself and told her how much we all enjoy the show. When he asked for a photo with her and our son she replied, “oh no! I look awful– but you can come to my book signing this weekend.” Needless to say, that was a short sighted plan on her part and we did not show at her book signing to help promote her book. I suppose if there was nothing in it for her, she was not going to make a little fan’s day! How fitting!

  104. virtuallyalyssa says:

    I got such a kick out of reading your blog. It’s fascinating how difficult it is to find people like yourself … educated, knowledgeable … insightful … so willing to share their knowledge with the rest of us … and online … something that is so rare! What you have clearly shown is that you feel comfortable being who you are … that you are at ease sharing your knowledge and insight with those less educated in the field of psychology … and that you are not “closed off” and don’t need to indulge your own self importance and accomplishments.

    I warmed to you because your writing skills allowed the reader to connect with you. You gave a wonderful ‘human element” in your writing. I imagined that after you finished writing, you probably put on an apron and baked some muffins for your kids before they came home from school. It was so nice … so refreshing … particularly because my experience is that those who are educated and accomplished … tend to succumb to their own insecurities by hiding behind their accreditations and being clinical and somewhat “mechanical” … inhuman … ‘untouchable’.

    Continue to reject the criticisms of your blog. I think it’s valuable and necessary in that you inspire self evaluation in all of us. We all compare and enjoy seeing our own qualities in others … the good AND the bad. Your writings allow us to get in touch with our own behavior, make comparisons … understand … and perhaps perceive the impressions we make on those around us.

    So again … thank you … warmly … for reinforcing that “an unexamined life is not worth living” (Socrates).

  105. Michelle says:

    How interesting that everyone here talks about Jill Zarin as if they KNOW her … all they know is what Bravo has allowed them to see. We have all seen exactly the same footage which show only snapshots of the actual encounters the Jill has with others. Watch the scene where Jill has ‘the sex talk’ with Ally — I don’t know about anyone else, but what I see is a loving mother who can relate to her daughter in a genuine fashion with care and a sense of humour. Her interactions with Bobby are similarly warm and sincere. Surely, this picture of Jill is what counts — not those conflicts with the other housewives where alliances change every season.
    I have never met Jill, but we have corresponded through email and telephone — on each of these occasions she has been kind, generous, gracious and even comforting when I was in mourning for someone close to me.
    Say what you will about Jill Zarin, but the truth of the matter is none of you actually know her; and to spout venomous criticism about her online is not only vicious, but defamatory — and says more about you than it does about her.

    • calipam says:

      Oh Michelle….
      Talk about narcissism…so you think you “know” Jill Zarin because she was kind to you in emails and on the phone? Has it ever occured to you that her conduct was so disgraceful – and if you watched the 3-part Reunion, self-admittedly so–that she is now going to any lengths to redeem herself, including gushing over anyone who, like yourself, would want to contact her after seeing her deplorable behavior week after week?
      FYI, she married Bobby for his money. Since you seem to think you have a “personal relationship” with her, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this since I’m sure you read her book, which includes this little tidbit. She is teaching little Ally to also marry for money…in your next email to her, please be sure she is approaching this in a “loving” way….it would make me feel much warmer towards Ms. Zarin. LOL LOL

  106. dianahelen says:

    I totally agree with calipam. How could anyone miss who this woman really is????? Anyone who tries to get approval and advice from her is just needy and looking in the wrong place. She doesn’t care about anything but her image and herself. Come on people….

  107. Michelle says:

    Hey Calipam — I’m so sorry, I think you’ve either misread or misinterpreted my commentary. Just to clear things up, I never claimed to have a ‘personal relationship’ with Jill Zarin.

    That being said, I also never claimed that Jill was perfect. Yes, she has made mistakes … clearly … but who amongst us hasn’t?

    My point, however, was not to white-wash Jill’s behaviour … rather, to express my amazement that people find it completely okay to devote website after website to tear others down (be it Jill or any other celebrity). I guess I just don’t get the motivation behind this genre of blogging. As a teacher of Law, I also wonder how such blogs are permitted to exist under the tort of defamation?

    I also don’t understand the depth of the hatred that people seem to have for Jill – or Bethenny – or Kelly – or whoever? These women have done nothing personally to any of us … so I have trouble being able to comprehend the really extreme emotional reactions expressed on these blogs. When all is said and done, it’s a TV show …

    • amateur RH says:

      Michelle ~ so you teach Law? As far as defamation, I don’t think any of us destroyed Jill’s good name, she did that all on her own. There is not much here that has been represented as fact, it is mostly opinion, which is not subject to charges of defamation. To my understanding, Jill would have to prove anything said here, that claims to be a fact, as false in order to claim defamation. Good luck on that one.
      Jill has been granted great favor in her life. She has enjoyed an excess of money, good family experiences and entrance into the upper echelons of society. Instead of being happy, she seems to revel in feeling sorry for herself that she is not more loved.
      What happened to your humanity, Michelle? Just because Jill has not ‘done’ something you or to any one of us personally does not mean that we should not hold her accountable for her behavior. That is most tragically what is wrong with society today. So many people deciding that bad behavior is ok as long as it is not directed at us personally, allows millions to act badly and bear no consequences. Society, as a whole, used to hold individuals accountable for their actions.
      IF we all would decide that what is done to one is done to ALL of us, then we might have a chance to turn around the ‘me for me and all for me’ attitude of many people alive today. Jesus said, ‘what you did unto one of the least, you did unto me.’
      While I agree that we have all made mistakes and deserve forgiveness, Jill NEVER DID get it that her castmates were fed up with her behavior. She was full of excuses for herself. Yes, she did begin to apologize many times during the reunion shows, BUT she never quite got there.
      Jill and Kelly both acted badly. The others were fed up with them as were many of the viewers as witnessed by these so-called ‘attacks’ which are not even attacks, per se, just a discussion on behavior.

      • K.Richards-0_0-LAbAbY says:

        i noticed too this season, pretty much every season of every franchise that these ”housewives” claim to have been ”attacked” by a fellow housewife, first of all this dosent make any sense no one attacked these ladies they never have been anyway near attacked before in their life, a disagreement of words and a verbal ”fight” dosent classify as being an attack on you, i am a fan of the real housewives of franchise but lately ie started to notice all this snarky behaviour and i truley dont care for it who knows perhaps ive matured as a human being and dont find it necessary nor enjoyable to watch these type of show’s and witness this type of self-destructive behavior im 16 and i dont even act like this, these women (even the ladies who are quite laid-back like sonja among others) wont find themselves respected businesswomen after the bravo producers drop them in a few years when the show needs a revamp of gets cancelled completely or moves to another city\county regardless of perdigument they will find themselves humiliated and forever attacht to the ridiculousness of ‘what once was’ the real housewives of new york city, i for one dont believe these type of tv shows will continue much longer, the focus on the lives of the rich and famous for being famous inderviguals was a 2000’s phenomenon and wont survive the 2010’s in my opinion, all these women have completely any shred of respect they may have had before appearing on this program. at the end of the day this is just a fictional EDITED tv show created and only existed because people who hate them continue to view their program, just stop watching those people who hate jill sooner all later the show will be cancelled and jill will be another has-been and her narcissistic suppley will be cut off.

  108. kathleenhogg says:

    I have to say that as I watched the episodes, I was shocked at how Jill was behaving. When Alex, called her a Mean High School Girl, she was bang on. As a middle aged woman, is it really necessary to hold your cell phone out so someone else can hear the conversation? I mean REALLY?
    To be given ample oppurtunity to make up with your friend and to rebuff every effort. Only to realize that once a Wedding and a Baby were coming, she would miss out on all the press! I guess the press for the fight was better than the wedding. However, if I were her I would be ashamed of myself. Even when she gets the news that Bethennys’ father had died; she doesn’t even consider the pain of Bethenny (also hormonal and preggers), she only can say “Why didn’t she tell ME, what about ME?” Well, Jill, what about you? This had nothing to do with you and you were the first to say you were done. What do you want? Jill is a sad case…pathetic.
    Just to add; Bethenny called, emailed and “ambushed” her to try to make up with her, Jill said no. Then the press gets wind of it and now Jill says that she has done everything she can to make up to her. In addition she states “clearly Bethenny had other ideas in mind, she isn’t a friend. If she were a friend she would make up.” Uh….she tried several times and you refused. BTW Jill posted that snippet on her Blog. Clearly the woman doesn’t have a clue.

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  111. calipam says:

    I have no idea what the above post by Sherley means & I’ve read it 3 times….
    Anyway, I notice noone is posting about this new sans Bethenny season & Jill’s “promise” that she’s changed. Sorry, Jill, you’re worse than ever….what exactly were you tring to prove to us when you sat next to Andy Cohen on “Watch What Happens” looking like a bad clone of Madonna 25 years ago? I was speechless, & I can see Bethenny thanking her lucky stars that she excluded you from her life.

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  113. The other Jules says:

    I totally agree Jill is absolutely suffering excessive and grandiose narcissism to the point of it meeting the criteria for diagnosis. For some reason, maybe due to my own personal past and issues, I am hypersensitive to overbearing, energy-sucking, psychic vampires, that the narcissists are – I spotted Jill as such immediately. She irritates the hell out of me and if I knew her I’d run for the hills, I’ve dumped a lot of extreme narcissists in my life and that is the only thing you can do with them…… RUN! It’s a shame, all other emotional disorders are so much easier to feel compassion for – even the odd sociopath or psychopath reveals such a brutal and abusive childhood I end up thinking their whole life is just a massive tragedy – but with narcissists, yeuk, urgh, there’s no self-awareness, no ability to contextualise their own behaviour, nothing to ‘work with’, and a torrent of abusive and controlling behaviour. Try to rationalise with them, level with them, they just up the ante and do something more outrageous or punitive. It’s such a non-sensical disorder as it serves no purpose, it’s so self-defeating, pointless, purposeless, pathetic, destructive, and annoying. “Surprise!!! It’s Jill!” eeeeeeek…… run, run, run.

    • Chelsea says:

      Its a bazaar thing Narcissism right?I stay clear of these people too. They smile at your face and you just know there’s something going on behind it all. Poor Bobby seems like such a nice man, but he was probably terrified of her. At least now he is free RIP Bobby

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    Are you still writing this blog? How about an analysis on the new girl Carol on RHONY. She annoys the heck out of me with her pretentious insistence on political correctness. Another dumb, east coast democrat, who considers themselves intellectual.

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  132. KJ says:

    OK. I’m only part of the way through Season 1 and I already agree with you. Also, watching her talk about her daughters weight makes me sick. That is so damaging.

    • Chelsea says:

      its so cruel aye, Jill admires her mother one minute and the other minute mentions how he mother gave her a hard time about her weight growing up….but then you see Jill doing the same thing to her own daughter! it’s truly sickening!

  133. Chelsea says:

    great blog!! I agree with everything you have said! Jill is cruel and cunning. I feel sorry for Alex for not being heard, she is an intelligent and giving woman and should be treated with respect. Seems like Jill was a nobody before she got her claws into Bobby. Resting in peace he will be after marrying such an awful witch of a woman

  134. John Hray says:

    Honestly couldn’t imagine writing all this and being a professional. More judgement & assumptions. Quite a bit of what you said isn’t even true.

    • queenmarie88 says:

      She said that she doesn’t work as a professional psychologist—she just has a degree in it. I would bet that if she were a practicing md she would not have written all this. JMO though. I wish she would write more ! I absolutely love it.

  135. Kris Price says:

    I have binge watching the New York housewives and totally agree with. Jim is so full of herself. She doesn’t care about anyone else so glad she got fired from that show that she insisted she quit. Yeah right!!!! Loved your article.

  136. Fine way of telling, and good paragraph to get facts about my
    presentation focus, which i am going to present in college.

  137. Sophie says:

    I’m watching the show for the first time and literally googled Jill Zarin hypocrite and came across this. I was getting so tired of the Jill show and found this soo refreshing and true.

  138. Amanda says:

    I completely agree. Jill is the most obnoxious, utterly revolting person that was on that show and Dorinda the massive drunk being the second one. These two idiots I absolutely cannot stand. Jill is so freaking annoying hearing her voice is like hearing fingernails scratching across a chalkboard. I would mute the TV every time she spoke.. she’s an idiot. She has a really nice mom, daughter and Bobby was sweet and definitely could have done better than her disgusting behavior and sick , narcissistic, obnoxious behavior with that ugly dog she always had to carry around. Why was she picked for the show? Her voice, her horrid sense of so called style. Yuck! And her posture. She’s annoying as hell and needs attention 24/7. Her sister was so sweet it’s incredibly hard for me to believe they’re related. What happened to her? Bravo was right to fire her and another obnoxious weirdo Kelly Bensimone. That chick has definite mental issues. WTF is wrong with her.she’s so weird. Those two are horrid.the last two people on the show with the regulars that were obnoxious losers were Leah McSweeny, no class, disgusting and vulgar. Ebony the preaching about politics crap. She ruined the show with that BS!!!

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