RHONJ’s Jacqueline Laurita : Self Defeating Personality Disorder

Once again I have returned to offer my observations on the behavior demonstrated by the Real Housewives on Bravo reality TV. I must point out as always that I while I possess a legitimate degree in psychology, I am not a licensed therapist. This blog is intended for entertainment purposes only, mostly my entertainment to be honest.

Today I will be taking a look at Jacqueline Laurita, one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Jac is an in law of the Manzo women and at one point was Danielle Staub’s best friend. We have seen many changes in Jac over the past two seasons but her attraction to being the passive party in the center of the drama remains a constant. I feel she is a masochist suffering from self defeating personality disorder.

When the series premiered we saw Jacqueline regularly bending Danielle Staub’s ear about her unhappiness with her in-laws. I remember a scene in the bathroom where Jac is complaining about Dina’s treatment of her at a benefit. She seemed very overwhelmed by both of her sisters in law and yet continued to involve herself with them. She also continued to include Danielle in the group even though her sisters in law, particularly Dina, clearly did not like Danielle nor did they want her around.

As the first season progressed she remained friendly with Danielle even though it obviously was contributing her problems with her sisters in law and her husband. She continually sided with Danielle, even though it seemed as if Danielle was pressuring her and causing her distress. At the same time even though she clearly supported Danielle, Jac saw that the relationship caused a lot of the issues with her family members. She still got upset and was hurt when her sisters in law got mad about the friendship and confronted her about the problems it caused for them.

After the first season, Jacqueline moved on from Danielle, choosing to side with her family and Teresa Giudice. This was probably more comfortable for her yet we see a real lack of respect for Jacqueline from these women. They often talk to her condescendingly about her being weak with others. Jacqueline allows this attitude to continue and does not stand up for better treatment. In fact she defends this behavior publicly.

Jacqueline also allowed herself to be sucked into a cordial relationship with Kim G. I think Jac liked having someone outside the family to vetch to as well as a source for information on Danielle. Jac clearly seems to be drawn to the worst people over and over again and then confides in them freely, trusting far too soon. Viewers clearly saw that Kim G was two-faced but Jac did not. She begged an invite for Kim to Teresa’s party, knowing that Kim G loves to dish Danielle, then was slammed by Kim for being obsessed with Danielle. She created that opportunity by her over sharing info with Kim and then allowing her into a *family* event where Kim G promptly turned on her.

Jacqueline’s relationship with her daughter Ashley is another problematic relationship. Time and again we see Jacqueline try to act tough then allow her daughter to walk all over her yet again. Ashley is constantly disrespectful and behaves badly towards her mother. Jacqueline has received plenty of good advice about the situation and yet she feeds the problem instead of dealing with it consistently and effectively. She talks a big game about putting her foot down but we see that it is just talk at the end of the day. She continues to justify her daughters actions and allow the pain it causes her to continue.

I feel like Jac thrives on playing the victim. It is as if she cannot go a day without someone somewhere mistreating or disrespecting her. Even when she manages to get rid of one problematic person she acquires another. Every sign of progress towards happiness is followed by further entanglement in drama and engagement with those that hurt her. Surely there are people in Jersey who she could find to be with instead.

Self defeating personality disorder is marked by pervasive pattern of self-defeating behavior or masochism. The person may often avoid or undermine pleasurable experiences, be drawn to situations or relationships in which she will suffer, and prevent others from helping her:

  • Chooses people and situations that lead to disappointment, failure, or mistreatment even when better options are clearly available
  • Rejects or renders ineffective the attempts of others to help him or her
  • Following positive personal events, responds with depression, guilt, or a behavior that produces pain
  • Incites angry or rejecting responses from others and then feels hurt, defeated, or humiliated
  • Rejects opportunities for pleasure, or is reluctant to acknowledge enjoying herself (despite having adequate social skills and the capacity for pleasure)
  • Fails to accomplish tasks crucial to her personal objectives despite demonstrated ability to do so
  • Is uninterested in or rejects people who consistently treat her well
  • Engages in excessive self-sacrifice that is unsolicited by the intended recipients of the sacrifice

For anyone having navigational issues here are the links to the other discussions on the housewives of New Jersey:

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/07/rhonjs-teresa-giudice-emotionally-unstable-personality-disorder-impulsive-type/

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/05/22/rhonjs-danielle-staub-antisocial-personality-disorder/

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/rhonjs-caroline-manzo-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder/

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/rhonjs-dina-manzo-functioning-well/

About angelofdevs

A real life housewife who likes to chatter about the psychological disorders of Bravo reality TV versions of housewives.
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98 Responses to RHONJ’s Jacqueline Laurita : Self Defeating Personality Disorder

  1. Bonnie says:

    I always observed her being quite Passive-Aggressive in her interactions with others, her daughter included. She seems to loves to be in the middle of the gossip, at any cost.
    Her words are also quite passive-aggressive. For example, she clearly had some residual anger with her daughter, Ashley, and just happened to tell her that she looked like an older, heavier relative. She then justifies it, after the emotional damage has been done to the obviously sensitive, albeit shallow and intellectually challenged Ashley, by claiming that she meant it when the relative was younger??
    Her reply to her son when asked what kinds of animals they would see at the farm, including “Danielles” for pigs, was not only p/a, but a totally inappropriate answer to her son’s query. Even her son realized it. She’s quite immature for a woman her age.
    What concerns me most about this woman, is that Bravo is portraying her as the “Nice” one. Having lived in North Jersey for 25 years, she is NOT really very nice at all, but rather an immature, gossip loving, botox addicted (her face is going to fall off of her face if she doesn’t stop injecting it soon. Already her lips are difficult for her to move), insecure and mean girl from high school. In order for her to be angry with someone, she needs a herd of others to be angry also.
    Being passive-aggressive can account for her seemingly “nice” ways combined with her her loud and frenetic outbursts when challenged.
    I love what you are doing and am amazed that you recognized so soon that something is way way off with this one. Kudos to you.

    • Bonnie says:

      And Danielle is definitely a sociopath of the worst sort. Clinically so. Of all the housewives that you have categorized, she really is one of the few whose personality disorders rises to the level of sickness. And, unfortunately, there is no help for her. Even psychotherapy is not only ineffective, but counter-productive.

  2. kayo says:

    I can offer another example. When discussing the rules of the house with her daughter instead laying down clear and concise boundaries regarding a curfew she asked her daughter if it was something she could live with. Of course her daughter was not happy so the curfew was changed to suit her. Jac vacillates between being controlling and submissive which sends mixed messages to her children. Ashley takes advantage of this wishy-washy behavior because she knows her mother will eventually cave. By not creating boundaries Jac is constantly handing control and responsibility over to other people. This sets her up in her relationships is a way that leaves her unaccountable.

  3. Jillousyness says:

    This was a great take on Jacqueline. I could never put my finger on what is was about her that seemed to always to frustrate me. Her passive/aggressiveness is what puts her in the bulls eye of always having problems. She is always finding people stronger than herself and quickly telling them everything including family problems or secrets then gets mad when those that she’s confided in betray her. It happens over and over again. Her sister in laws run roughshod over her because they perceive her as weak and easily influenced and she causes them trouble too. They can’t trust her. Her relationship with her obnoxious daughter is self defeating too. No means yes and Ashley is never held accountable for her actions. She’s never had real boundaries. No wonder she’s a brat, immature and slightly out of control. Jacqueline is a martyr and wants people to both feel sorry for her and fight her battles but also wants to be seem as strong and independent, which she isn’t. I would think this causes problems in her marriage because of how she is with his sisters and her daughter. He must get very frustrated day in and day out. How are her young sons going to grow up? Hopefully her husband will take a stronger role with them than he was allowed with her daughter.

  4. Karen Lee says:

    the dynamics in that family are frightening, I would get out and ask for witness protection.

  5. Kimberly says:

    Dead on right. I agree completely.

  6. Jen says:

    Another spot on analysis! I can’t wait for Caroline Manzo’s! I’m leaning towards Narcissistic personality disorder.

    • Angie says:

      I’m not sure about that – I don’t see her as narcissistic all. I see her as a seemingly well balance and protective woman, who tries to refrain from crying because she does not want to appear weak.

  7. Lex says:

    Caroline has a distinct personality- she is a classic First Child in birth order, and being the leader of 11 children while having a scrappy Queens upbringing has shaped her into the tough-talking, staunch/maternal matriarch she is. I live in Queens, and there are similar women in my ‘hood like Caroline. I’d say she carries negative traits associated with being a leader and a mother, but to me, she does not appear to have a personality disorder- not the severity of Danielle or KKB. Nor are any particular syndromes jumping out at me- she certainly doesn’t have Jill’s narcissism, Bethenny’s OCD, Ramona’s mood swings, Teresa’s delusions/impulse, or Jacqueline’s passivity.

    • Bonnie says:

      Lex,
      I tend to agree with you. I find Caroline to simply be a very strong and assertive woman who sets clear boundaries. She may be prone to pre-judge people a bit too much; however, many of us do same and she seems to be a very very good judge of character. That could be because, she is quite fine and secure with who she IS and what she believes.
      She really is the only one who has been consistently loyal to both her friends and family. I cannot find anything pathological about her, either.

      • Lex says:

        Bonnie- exactly. With Caroline, you know where you stand. I like her precisely because she communicates where she is, no mysteries past her words. I’d also agree she is suspicious of outsiders and prone to assuming the worse before giving the benefit of the doubt, but that’s not a pathology issue as it is a cultural one- she’s no different from a lot of old-school Italian (and working-class immigrant NY families that turned to each other) living in Queens/Brooklyn/Jersey.

    • Jules says:

      Lex, I agree with you about Caroline. I’m the oldest in my family, albeit there are only four of us, but I share some traits with Caroline. Although I think she seems a bit harder on the surface than I am, we are both as protetive of our families as she is. The first thing that came to mind while watching the first season of RHONJ was this saying we have in my family (as I’m sure many do)…..”I can say whatever I want about my sister, you can’t”. My siblings loyalty to each other is above all else; even though we don’t always get along and at least two of us are always in disagreement over something. We can have huge fights about things but we always come back to each other no matter how mad we might be. I’ve tried to instill that same loyalty in my two sons. When they become adults they will only have each other to remember and appreciate the fact that they shared the same experiences growing up.

    • Savannah says:

      Carolyn is also an incredible mother. When I saw the episode where she counseled Albie after he was kicked out of law school, I had tears in my eyes. I loved how fiercely she built him up, how much she believed in him, and how much she genuinely loved him.

      Carolyn also has a good head on her shoulders and has the sense and mental wherewithal to steer clear from drama. She read Danielle from the start, and distanced herself from Kim G from the beginning because her gut told her it would be dangerous to get close to someone like her.

      Love her!

    • dcscrewylouie a.k.a. DauOZenda on twitter says:

      I agree that Caroline Manzo is a tough-talking matriarch, but disagree as to why. She is not the eldest sibling… far from it… not even the eldest daughter, in fact. (She said in the Porsche Spite episode that she is the sixth of eleven, Dina being the baby.) So she cannot have First Child “Syndrome” when she is clearly a middle kid.

      On the other hand, I think her middle kid status in a large family nicely explains her singular devotion to family and her fear of an Empty Nest… she’s always had family around her.

    • Maxine49 says:

      Caroline is not the oldest of the 11 siblings—I think she is 6th in the lineup.

  8. onvacation says:

    I disagree about Jacqueline liking to be in the middle of controversy. I think she would rather just be around the excitement as an observer. Jacqueline is a peacemaker – similar to Dina but she doesn’t possess Dina’s tough core or self-confidence nor does she have the unlimited love and backing of a family matriarch (Carolyn) as does Dina (baby sister). And yes, Jacqueline is indeed part of the family, however she is still an in-law and has to make her own bones. Like everyone else in a family she likes to vent when she suffers the slights of her stronger sisters-in-law, however, she chooses the wrong people to confide in. She picks a bully who she feels not only will understand her but who will go to battle for her – not understanding that this type will actually make matters worse in the end. Jacqueline misjudged Danielle’s true character and in her innocence she chose Danielle as a confidant simply because Danielle was only too happy to hear every morsel of angst and squeeze herself into the family. Jacqueline grasp that the type of person she needs around is a more sensitive easy-going friend who can allow her to vent without holding it over her head, keep a confidence, and then forget about it. She gravitates towards strong women because she mistakenly feels they have the answers she doesn’t. She admires their moxy and just has not come to learn her own strength yet. It is ridiculous to assume that just because she was born in New Jersey she has an innate knowledge of street smarts. Does that mean that anyone born in Miami knows how to swim?

  9. Iris says:

    I happen to like Jacqueline. She’s under the Manzo’s thumb and was told by Caroline if she stays friends with Danielle, the family will cut you off.

    Her daughter is going through her “teen” years, and that can be the pits. J seems to be very sweet and doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but when she pushes, the “family” put her back into her place.

    I hope she has friends outside of the Manzo family. I agree with “OnVacation.”

  10. Lex says:

    I don’t think Jacqueline is entirely self-defeating. I like her for the same reasons I ever thought Chrissy in “Three’s Company” was cool- she’s fundamentally happy-go-lucky and a little dingy. Not saying she’s dumb, but she’s bubbly, quick to laugh at herself, and has a ditzy air that is judged/possibly mistaken as weakness (by a clan of working-class Italians inclined to pull rank and not as gracious right off the bat, and probably much to her chagrin.)

    As she is genuinely nice to everyone she meets and extends the benefit of the doubt generously, I think that’s how she becomes guilty of overconfiding in outsiders- she’s a chatterbox who gets caught up in a sunny conversation if she’s their friend, or the one who gets them invited to parties they wouldn’t be included in. She isn’t one to cut anyone off till directly crossed, but once she is, she keeps a closed door.

    I also concur with Onvacation- she’s a peacemaker, and does not enjoy being in the middle of a disagreement. She unwittingly causes disagreements by not exercising the same East Coast Italian boundaries as her clan with outsiders, but does not relish them.

    As a mother, I think she’s gotten a doormat reputation because she’s the only one who has two sets of children with dramatic age difference. Jacqueline was young and financially insecure when she had Ashley, and most likely made all sorts of mistakes with Ashley that made her feel like one; Ashley carries herself with the brattiness of someone who played that card to her benefit and has trouble adapting to boundaries/discipline as a result. CJ/Nicholas will most likely grow up with a more firm hand due to her current stability and Chris’s presence; Ashley is probably jealous of how they’re growing up, and takes it out on her mother (because she can).

    So, I don’t think Jacqueline is entirely self-defeating, but is the most gracious in a sea of tough-talking Italians and is a product of different marital circumstances than the rest of the wives.

  11. wachuset says:

    From day one I knew she was passive aggressive. Her interactions with the Manzo family and Danielle solidified that analysis. I don’t think she is any victim but a willing participant because during the famous “table flip” episode she rose to the occasion found her voice and told her version of the occurrence even though Caroline was staring at her and Dina was looking at her like she was crazy and accusing her of being a hypocrite and not a true friend to Danielle with her husband sitting right next to her. No, I don’t think the drama bothers her that much that is why it is just another walk thru the park when she interacts with any of them especially Ashley. Ashley knows that when mom says “no” it means yes”.

  12. angelofdevs says:

    I disagree, Jac is a total moth to the flame. She is drawn to conflict and drama. She puts herself forth as innocent and sweet but if you read her twitter and her blog you will see that she is not a peacemaker. I honestly believe she gets something out of the drama. She stirs the pot a lot, passively at times but look at what she said on that farm outing, she cannot have a nice normal day without bringing up Danielle.

    I thought passive aggressive at first but she does not fit the passive aggressive symptoms. I stand by the self defeating opinion.

    • Lex says:

      Hmmm. I see how she’s a troublemaker about Danielle and does stir the pot, but Danielle is an extreme example that starts and maintains trouble, and people are all kind of flinchy about her. Practically everyone on the show lobs everything from the bread rolls to the butter knives at the woman. It doesn’t strike me as a telling personality dysfunction to see Jacqueline throw her digs at Danielle, but very retaliatory in the context of Danielle’s behavior towards Ashley. (That said, if she truly is like this with her frenemies, then she is that person getting off the drama, but I think her particular zeal against Danielle is fueled by D picking on Ashley.)

      And, maybe I’m just oblivious to any passive-aggressive digs Jacqueline made at Ashley (re: the comments about resembling her grandmother), but the way I interpreted the scene was that Jacqueline- rather than making a mean dig at Ashley- was dense and stuck her foot in her mouth an unfortunate (but not inappropriate) joke. Ashley, being 18, threw her adolescent temper tantrum, setting off Jacqueline in return. While they’re biting with one another, I think they’re not seeking to hurt- but what’s clear is that they set each other off AND overreact to one another. (I think it’s power struggle between those two, and always has been.)

      Will reread your entry and give it some *extra* thought :-)

      PS- BTW- I think you should analyze ASHLEY. THAT one would be pretty good material.

      • Angie says:

        Ashley’s analysis: normal immature teenager raised by a mother who didn’t set firm boundaries or consequences. I don’t see that she has a mental disorder at all (although “being a teen” can mimic several disorders at times!) :)

      • angelofdevs says:

        Could not have said that better myself.

      • onvacation says:

        I’ve seen a lot worse than Ashley considering she is living out loud in the limelight right now. I think Jacqueline and Chris use amazing restraint in dealing with her. She’s just a normal pain-in-the-ass kid.

      • Lex says:

        Heh. Ashley is a pain-in-the-ass 18-yo. [LOL, no need for analysis, Angie eloquently summed her up :-) ]

        And, now that I reread your piece, I concur more- Jacqueline’s patterns are self-defeating. I just hesitate to say the word “disorder” since it seems a touch more severe to describe what is mixed, passive behavior versus patterns that are more overt or loud.

      • angelofdevs says:

        Jacqueline is not a severe case, she has just enough of an issue that I can see it as the root cause of some of the bigger problems we observe on the show. A lot of the housewives are less serious cases. They are not all on the edge, but most seem to have a definite tendency to behavior patterns that match a disorder that is having a definitive impact on their lives.

    • Amy Holman says:

      I think it makes sense, too. The sound of her voice is revealing. There is a slight whining quality and also a laughter that the picked upon have when they are suddenly not the one picked on. I would like her — and every other teen mother — to stop telling her daughter to be careful sexually so as not to make the same mistake she did. That emphasis on mistake is detrimental to the daughter’s sense of herself, and generally not the way to keep a close relationship. She also seems jealous of her daughter’s youth. I think the daughter is annoying, but she behaves the way someone would whose mother is not strong.

  13. gillgrylls says:

    I read your comment on the LA Times article. I really dont see the point of “Housewives of” anyways. To me sounds like a bunch of rich women bitching about this and that and about who has more money and whatnot. I dont know. I dont really care to watch the show.

    I do agree with you about the situations these parents put their kids through while they seek fame and fortune. Today I see many parents as friends to their kids rather than an actual parent. Anything to make a quick buck it seems. Just really sick of all these shows. People looking for love on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, people seeking fame through American Idol who dont know what its REALLY like to work hard for a career in the music biz. They just want it handed to them after they spend time on a show. Big Brother….whats the freakin deal with that show? Looks like a bunch of skinny people screwing each other to me…..

    Its a shame that tv today has resorted to reality tv and themed shows. Everything that you see on TV today is either a reality show, or a show about law or medicine. What a waste! Sitcoms are nothing like they used to be. The only reality tv show that I can stand to watch and it even draws the line at reality is Biggest Loser. Only reason I say that is because those contestants spend those months 100% devoted to their weight loss goals whereas most people spend the majority of their time between work and their children leaving say, 5% to weight loss goals. So there even draws a line at how realistic it is. Sure one could lose all that weight but for instance Michael, most people are not going to attain his level of achievement unless they devote the same attention and amount of time to that goal as he did on the show.

    Because of the level of TV in america having gone to crap over all these years I dont even choose to watch anymore. i’d rather watch something more educational on Discovery or any of their channels than some show about doctors porking each other every show! lol

    • onvacation says:

      Gillgrylls, I think a lot of us wonder about our addiction to reality TV. Personally, this is why I enjoy this forum so much. Many of us are simply trying to make sense out of what we are watching. The comments are well-thought-out and offer great insights into human behavior.

      I know that sometimes the way the Housewives confront each other has helped me (especially watching Alex and Bethenny interact with the others when they are angry). Ha…as I write this, I am realizing that I am getting a crash course on “Effective Communication 101 – What Works and What Doesn’t”. Maybe someone else can help explain our fascination.

    • Karen Lee says:

      I’m torn about why I choose to watch the RH. I’m currently reading a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death written by Neil Postman. I found his book while looking for answers about my interest in some of the reality shows that I watch. Generally my interests are art, music, cooking, fashion and to a degree, politics. I was perplexed and a little guilty about tuning in week after week to watch the RH. Is there something wrong with me? Is it schadenfreude?

      Let me just include what’s written on the back cover. It explains the book better than I can. I do hope that it’s legal for me to do so . Postman was a social critic and education and communications theorists and was also a professor for 40 years at NY University. “Television has habituated us to visual entertainment out in spoonfuls of time. But what happens when we come to expect the same things from our politics and public discourse? What happens to journalism, education, and religion when they too become forms of show business? Twenty years ago, Neil Postman’s lively polemic was the first book to consider the way that electronic media were reshaping our culture. Now, with TV joined by the internet, cell phones, cable, and DVDs, Amusing Ourselves to Death carries even greater significance. Elegant, incisive, and terrifically readable, it’s a compelling take on our addiction to entertainment.”

      So, I may be addicted, but so far, what I’m taking away from this book is that TV should be for entertainment and not excusively for education or public discourse (so I’m trying to get past my snobbyness about what I watch) and that we have made news and education into entertainment. We rarely see unattractive people on television, from chefs to news anchors, they all must be attractive and entertaining in order to hook us. Orwell said in 1984 that we would reach a point where books were banned. I think Huxley was more accurate in writing that we would not want to read books, but rather be entertained all the time. I think we’re there and I am too.

      • Marybelle says:

        That sounds like a fascinating book. I cannot wait to check it out. my husband and I lived without TV for years and just recently became the ‘victims’ of free cable. I had never seen RHW or any other reality shows (I have ordered Top Chef on itunes, but that is it). And yeah – I cannot believe how addicted to the stupidness I am either. Save to say – I think I am ready to return to a life without cable. :-)

      • jules says:

        Karen Lee, great post! I want to take a look at that book myself. I, too am, torn as to why I watch the RH series. Prior to the RH’s, the only reality shows I watched were Survivor, Top Chef and Project Runway. I was really interested in the competition aspect of these shows. I find it interesting to see how people behave when they are in the midst of competing for something one desire’s (like money) or for a career following one’s passion like PR or TC. As time has gone on, the quality of the contestants has changed because people “act” to get more face time on television rather than be themselves. While I am “addicted” in some ways, I’m also more cynical than I was when these programs first appeared.

        Once upon a time when my 14 year old son was much younger, he and I were watching a marathon of “Wife Swap” for some reason (I think it was a rainy day or snowstorm). Anyway, after a couple of episodes, my son told me that we should apply to be on the show. I asked him why and he said “it would be cool to be on t.v.” I laughed and explained that we are not “extreme” enough to be on these shows. I know that “normal” is a relative term but we are far more normal than most of the families that appear on such programs. We don’t home school, devote our lives to one thing (like sports or the family band) nor are we goth rockers. We’re just your average American family, not terribly interesting to anyone outside our own world. In other words, noone would watch to see what happens!

        I started watching RH because I thought it would be interesting to see into another person’s life. It is a bit voyeristic while still being legal so it was just fun to me. I have become addicted to this series if for no other reason than to laugh at others’ behavior. Some of the scenes have creeped me out, for instance, Laurie (from the OC) and her husband (who’s name escapes me) in the hot tub, sorry, not interested in watching that and Danielle and her NJ girlfriends last week on the stripper pole was absolutely cringe-worthy material. I was actually embarassed for Kim G and even Danielle. But otherwise, the RH series are fun for me, nothing else. I don’t know what it says about us as a society but for the most part, I’ve enjoyed the laugh.

        However, that being said, I am going to be a snob and boycott the new “RH of Washington, DC” only because of the couple who crashed the White House party. To me, they are the adult version of “Balloon Boy” and I have no interest in fueling their quest of fame and fortune just for being alive. I know the same can probably be said of all the other housewives, especially those that continue to re-sign season after season. But it just isn’t the same to me. I guess this is my line in the sand. Who knows, I may change my mind if angel posts on DC too!

      • Deven says:

        These shows are like mini car wrecks, and not many of us can just drive by an accident. Unfortunately, there really isn’t much on TV that isn’t reality based or inundated with DRAMA. Just listen to every commercial Bravo airs. The drama just builds and builds year after year.

        I used to LOVE Top Chef and Project Runway, most of the chefs and designers had confidence, but what do we get these past few seasons? D R A M A. Insecurity. It’s all about not being good enough, not bringing their A-game, or “they’re going home” when they clearly have cooked or crafted a masterpiece. I am so sick of it.

        I, too, tuned in to the Housewives because I thought they’d be quirky, funny, and just plain silly throwing their money around. But most of the shows have turned into who has the best brawls. They’re petty, fake, and as it’s coming to light, quite a few of them are broke or living beyond their means.

        And what part of ‘Housewife’ doesn’t Bravo understand? What are they thinking putting divorcee’s, single and working women on these shows? Not to mention exposing children to this circus? Even if the parents don’t give a damn how they’re depicted on television, the station should have refused to show the kids. I can only imagine how Danielle’s children feel in all of this. To have the most hated woman in America for a mom? Those poor kids. And Bravo knows damn well the Kelly’s and Danielle’s of these shows are clearly disturbed and in need of medical attention and some form of drug/therapy, but instead of quietly suggesting they get help, or even help them, they plaster their sickness on television every week for the ratings.

        Even Animal Planet and Discovery Channel have succumbed to the insanity, and it ranges from the macabre to pure ridiculousness. Take Deadliest Catch for example. On February 9th of this year, Capt. Phil Harris died after having a stroke during the filming of last season’s catch, and instead of having respect for the man and his family by not showing the season, Discovery actually aired it with Phil’s death being the main story-line buildup and coming climax.

        Then there’s the new Bravo show Work of Art. I refuse to watch this nonsense. As a self-employed artist, I cannot imagine the type of person willing to go on national TV and put themselves at the mercy of the world and its cruelty. As it is, we’re our own worst critique, we don’t need these bozo’s on television to back that up. No one can tell someone else what art is and what it isn’t. It’s like beauty, it’s in the eye of the beholder. But ultimately, it’s all about the ‘all mighty buck’ to these people.

        In today’s day and age, TV is the worst form of commercialism. Even the pay channels, with their Spartacus, Weeds, and the new show coming The Big C. TV isn’t good enough if someone isn’t doing something outrageous, or never seen before. I want the days of The Cosby Show and Roseanne back. When TV was silly, informative and fun, not the drama-filled sensationalist BS we’re force-fed. Sure, we have the option of turning the channel, but when that’s all you find, there’s nothing else to do but watch it or toss the TV through the window.

      • Deven says:

        Well, I think I was typing with my feet again :D I meant “critic” not critique

  14. Mara says:

    I totally see Jac as self-defeating, especially now that I’ve read this blog! Over and over reading these critiques are like putting pieces of a puzzle together with lots of Ah! moments. The thing that has just shocked me this season with Jac is her setting the boundary with Ashley that if she didn’t want to follow house rules she needed to leave. Then Jac somewhat shockingly recalls that Ashley left. But it seems to me that even though Ashley left home her parents were still paying for EVERYTHING. She had no job, no checking account – how else was she surviving? So mom and step-dad law down the law, follow our rules or get out and Ashley leaves for a fully funded, no responsibility required move. I cannot, however, figure out why she is moving back home?

  15. Savannah says:

    I think Jacqueline suffers from two things:
    (1) Being incredible naive
    (2) Not being assertive enough.

    Neither of these translate into a mental disorder (in my opinion), in fact, I think plenty of women suffer from these elements because they were never taught otherwise.

    Jacqueline thinks the best of everyone and gives them second chances because she truly believes people are good inside. She also connects with other people because, I imagine, marrying into the Manzo family is no easy feat. They are a group of very strong women, and someone like Jacqueline (who’s soft and passive), will find it overwhelming to be stuck among them.

    • Terry says:

      I concur with Savannah. I’m not sure that her behavior is so much unassertive as much as that she is surrounded by a family in which extreme aggression is the norm. She is alone while they have each other. As to her naïveté, I’d rather be naive than descend to a level where I’d understand

    • Terry says:

      the Manzos.

      Jacqueline seems to have excellent relationships with her husband and parents.

      I do think there is something childish about Jacqueline, but all in all, she is the most palatable of any of the housewives from any of the franchises.

      Oh, she drinks! I’d have an IV of pure grain alcohol were I in the world of Manzos!!

      As to Ashley… Well, she’s an 18-yo. I’ve seen plenty who were far worse and straightened out by 25. I myself was miserable to be around until about 25, which is when the nervous system finalizes its development.

    • Lola says:

      I completely agree with you. It is inappropriate to label a person with a mental health disorder, especially when you are not a licensed, practicing clinician working individually with a client over time. Even it is just for purposes of “entertainment”.

  16. Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

    I think alcohol plays a big part in the personalities of all of the women on the RH shows. Most of their behavior is outrageous because they are drunk and they are playing to the cameras. I would bet all of their personalities would be different if we saw them without alcohol in their system and a camera in their face.

    • Bonnie says:

      BINGO.

    • jules says:

      I never thought about it before but you’re probably right. One the NJ version, Dina is the only HW who doesn’t drink (at least reguarly) and her behavior remained fairly consistent throughout both seasons. Interesting observation….I wonder if any of them have thought about it and considered drinking less while being filmed……

      • Bonnie says:

        Caroline doesn’t drink regularly either. They are the only 2 who act “normally”…meaning that they possess only the standard neurosis of civilized mankind.
        Mental health really is a linear continuum. From left to right, we begin with our neurosis and we either maintain and work on them or ride along the tracks towards psychosis.
        Jacqueline’s personality disorder is further along that line and Teresa’s even further. Actually, I almost believe that after last night, Teresa may be neck in neck with Danielle, even though they suffer from different psychotic/abnormal personality disorders.
        I further suspect, that Teresa and Danielle’s sicknesses are not that much influenced as much by drink as Jacqueline’s.
        Did anyone find it strange (and telling) that Jacqueline and Derek’s mother were drinking wine instead of coffee or tea during the day and upon their first meeting? Whatever happened to women drinking coffee/tea during the day?

      • Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

        I think it is Bravo that pushes the alcohol. On Watch What Happens Next, Andy Cohen and his guests sip alcohol as they chat. I would bet Bravo chooses housewives who drink because alcohol loosens the tongue and causes people to do and say things they’d never do or say sober.

        In all of the RH shows most of the events revolve around alcohol. I believe many of the RH cast members could be alcoholics. All of the Orange County housewives are always smashed at their parties, especially Gretchen, Tamara and Lynn. Ramona and Sonja are always drunk in New York. Sonja even got a DUI and Bethenny said the worst part of pregnancy was she couldn’t drink. Theresa and Jacqueline of New Jersey are always smashed and drink in the daytime. I don’t watch the Atlanta housewives but I have seen previews of them yelling at each other and brawling and they appear to be slurring.

    • Ina Baur says:

      Absolutely. I thought this exactly last night when Teresa decided to lay in wait to say hello to Danielle. That decision was absolutely fueled by alcohol. A sober mind (hopefully) would not have made that choice.

    • Karen Lee says:

      The alcohol is self medication.

  17. Mariah says:

    Didn’t it bother anyone the way Jacqueline’s husband scolded Ashley by putting his hand in her mouth while he talked to her.
    Boy that was scary! Talk about passive-agressive, or worse…

    • Karen Lee says:

      Honestly that was so creepy. If he does that on camera, imagine what he does in private. That was abusive, demeaning and a show of power.

  18. jules says:

    After I hit post, I remembered that Caroline doesn’t drink much either. The more I watch these shows, the more I realize that most of the HW’s have drinks in their hands much of the time, even during their many lunches. Jacqueline, Teresa and Danielle especially always seem to be drinking. When Jac and Teresa went to Posche, Kim D. handed them a mimosa as soon as they walked in the door. I kept thinking to myself, who’s the one driving? I know when I drink during the day, I end up napping before long. Maybe I’m just a light-weight when it comes to alcohol but this does seem excessive.

    I, too, found it odd that Jac and Derek’s mom were drinking wine and seemingly got drunk upon their first meeting. Not exactly the first impression I would like to make, but that’s just me. Jac’s behavior is definitely different with alcohol. The more I see of Teresa, the more I think she’s just as much of a whack-a-doodle as Danielle; she’s just better at controlling it. But in Teresa’s blog on Bravo, she’s fairly articulate, much more so than when she speaks. Maybe someone else is writing them or maybe she’s just better with the written word but she seems much more together in her blogs……..just my observation.

    I’m so mad at myself because I fell asleep at 10:45 last night and woke up at 11:15 so I missed the confrontation at the fashion show. I woke up to see Kim from the RH of Atlanta on Skype talking to Andy Cohen. I was just asleep enough to think it was Kim G. which really had me confused! Just what I needed to fall asleep too (lol). I’ll have to catch up in reruns.

  19. Marybelle says:

    You know, after watching last night’s episode, I think Jacqueline seems more sane than I originally thought. She was clearly against going to the fashion show and only agreed to attend after learning Ashley was walking in the show. She even ignored Kim G after recognizing she was a bitch (she should have ALSO ignored Kim D and I cannot believe she would not recognize her horribleness). Then AT the show she behaved rationally, and tried to quell nonsense – not talking about D or seeming to worry about it and focusing on having fun at the event with friends. She even attempted to keep Ashley in check – which is impossible given Ashley’s desperate need for attention. She also looked really really really frustrated with Teresa when she went out to ‘say hello’ to Danielle. And visibly uncomfortable with the way things were unraveling.

    I also think Caroline is really great and funny. I used to find her annoying, but the more I watch the more I like. Her family seems down to earth and genuine and none of her kids or her seem to be using HW to achieve a level of success that would not already be happening through their own life choices and hard work. Like none of them are trying acting, modeling, or music careers and instead seem content to just focus on the things that already matter. And they seem to have appropriate reactions that to do not seem staged or fabricated.

    I guess, they seem comfortable with who they are no matter what, which is also why I like Sonja and Ramona on NYC and why I DO NOT like Teresa or Jill or LuAnn.

    • Deven says:

      About Kim D. We were misled by Bravo (imagine that). The scenes with her being buddy-buddy one minute with Danielle and the next going to the charity event were switched around. The event was first, and Kim explained in an interview that at the time Danielle hadn’t paid her tab and she wasn’t happy with her, so when she went to the charity event, she talked bad about her, but after that, they were back to being friends. I think Danielle may have been tipped off that Kim was speaking ill of her and that’s why she came by the shop and paid off her debt.

      • amateur RH says:

        So, more confusion…
        Where in this timeline does the segment with Danielle explaining to us that she was not going to shop at Posche anymore, with the ‘bye bye’ and ‘she will miss my money’ comments? Was that before or after she paid her bill?
        Where in the timelines was the part that she felt ‘dissed’ by the woman behind the desk on the phone in the store? Was that when she came in to pay her bill?
        It is certainly stupid of Bravo to switch out the timelines as then none of it makes sense and if nothing else, we are all trying to make some sense out of these women/shows. I’m just sayin….

      • Deven says:

        Here’s the interview with Kim D.

        There’s others with Kim G. Although I think Kim G is a liar and two-faced. She can’t say it was editing. We saw her say Jac was obsessed with Danielle, and that scene about Ashley, where she tells Danielle to have her arrested, then she flips and tells Jac that she told Danielle to drop the issue. The woman is as fake as some of their hair.

  20. Bonnie says:

    Just an interesting note. On Watch What Happens Live with Caroline and Albie, Andy asked Caroline a question about Kim D. and Kim G. and dear Caroline (I really really LIKE her) said something like this: “Well, what do Kim G. and Kim D. have in common?………. Danielle.”.
    When she posed that question, the first person that popped into my mind was “Jacqueline”.
    And this happens to be true. I honestly feel that Jacqueline befriended these 2 to get back at Danielle and she succeeded. Once again, a very passive-aggressive act.
    I just cannot see her as a peacemaker at all. For if she was, she wouldn’t have anything to do with these type of women. So bored with her life, she relishes the gossip, the drama and invariably contributes to it in subtle (p/a) ways like these.

  21. Not a Fan says:

    If you look at the history of reality show stars, you will see they all have a narcissistic drama queen personality or they wouldn’t be attracted to the spotlight. Most of the reality show stars are self absorbed and will go to any lengths to look good in front of the camera. Nothing about them is real. They get nose jobs, tummy tucks, breast enhancements, Botox and any procedure available until they look like the bionic woman. They love parading around in bikinis and getting tans.

    None of them have talent but because of their reality celebrity they manage to get record deals, best selling books, have their own cosmetic and jewelry line. Many talented singers and authors don’t get book contracts because they don’t have the exposure reality show stars get.

    I don’t usually watch reality shows because they are either boring or melodramatic. I did watch a few episodes of the Orange County housewives, found the show totally boring and all of the housewives superficial, alcoholic, insecure and uninteresting.

    I tuned in on the last season of the New York housewives and found Alex and Bethany interesting because they were articulate, intelligent, independent career women. However, Jill, the countess and Kelly totally turned me off because they were superficial, snobby and crazy so I won’t watch next year. I watched the first episode of Bethenny’s new show but found the next episode boring and stopped watching.

    I watched a few episodes of the first season of the New Jersey housewives and it was like watching The God Father. I tuned in this season because all of my regular programs were off for the summer. I found it all about Danielle and not the Manzos at all. I won’t watch any Bravo housewife shows next season. I find Andy Cohen’s show disgusting and sensational. I don’t like that Bravo pushes alcohol and cat fights. I don’t find it entertaining to watch 30 and 40 something women screaming at each other and pulling hair like 12 year olds. You can tell it is all contrived to create drama for the show because the fights are all over nothing. It is disgusting and boring to me.

  22. Lola says:

    Labeling, or diagnosing the HWs with personality disorders from viewing their program, where the women are encouraged to act out dramatically and are probably given scripts to follow is ridiculous and irresponsible. If you angelofdevs possess a degree in psychology surely you were taught that you cannot possibly diagnose a person you have never met nor observed in a clinical setting over a period of time. You also would need to interview family and friends, and apply diagnostic tools to support a diagnosis of a personality disorder or any mental illness. I wonder if you have actual experience with persons who have been diagnosed by a practicing, experienced clinician with personality disorders. Criticizing the HWs’ crazy, and sometimes mean spirited behavior is one thing. Playing psychologist is quite another. Yes we do wonder what makes these women tick and why they act the way do. They are fascinating exhibitionists, meant to entertain us. As a mental health professional I would say some of these women, Danielle and Kelly specifically, do possess the traits of several personality disorders. That being said I would also like to point out that we all have traits of these personality disorders at times in our lives. We also, unfortunately have experience with some with who meet the criteria of personality disorders entirely. People with personality disorders are extremely difficult to treat and their behavior effects all facets of their functioning. I find it troubling that you, being a lay person with no field experience, would go to such great lengths to label these women with serious mental health problems for your entertainment. Millions of people suffer from mental health problems, and this blog trivializes the hard work and years of study of licensed clinicians. Further your assessments are completely off the mark and erroneous.

    • Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

      I think it is difficult to tell what kind of a personality any of these women have because it is clear that they are all trying to portray an image they want the viewers to believe.

      Last season, Jacqueline was trying to give us the image that she was a good wife, mother and friend. She stuck by Danielle even when the Manzos hated her. This season, Jacqueline is a different person. Her image is now that of a loyal member of the Manzo family. She dumps Danielle when her husband tells her to and she mentions a pig on a family outing looks like Danielle and every chance she gets she disses Danielle. Even her daughter, who isn’t even a blood relation to the Manzos, tells Danielle to “stay away from my family.” What does she care unless this is all choreographed to show a Manzo family front. Danielle is the enemy so they all go after her.

      Caroline is always shown with her husband and adult children and sister and now with two sisters we’ve never seen, who both look just like Dina. Caroline always tells her how much her family loves each other and they fight and laugh big. We never see this.

      This season Dina portrayed the image of a woman who wanted just peace and quiet in her life. She met with her psychic and was seen sipping tea with her cats. Dina left the show because Danielle came into her husband’s business and caused a scene.

      All of Theresa’s scenes are around shopping, drinking, talking about all the sex she has, calling Danielle a prostitution whore and bitch and taking her child star to auditions. We see her spending as if money is no object. The image she wants us to see is what a glamorous sexual life she has. She says she cleans her own house and takes care of her own kids but we never see her do that. No woman who does her own cleaning and cooking and taking care of four children has sex several times a day. She has no time and no energy. The scene with her holding up labor for two hours while she made her kids breakfast and got all dolled up was obviously fake to convey the image that Theresa is such a great mother and that even giving birth is glamorous for her.

      This leads me to believe that none of what we see on the screen depicts the real life of the Manzos. Behind closed doors, they probably aren’t that close or that rich. Look at Joe and Theresa. How does someone get $8 millions in debt?

    • Maxine49 says:

      Lola, time for a chill pill. Angelordevs has full disclaimer that she is not a licensed therapist and is not diagnosing as a professional. Get a grip on yourself…you are starting to unravel in public.

    • Karen Lee says:

      I remember a story in Parade Magazine many years ago about an experiment the airlines conducted to determine if they’re were mentally disturbed people on their flights that could become dangerous. The goal was to create a profile of passengers that might cause a disturbance during flight. They used several psychiatrists, all unknown to one another, to root out any such people. Isn’t it interesting that they all chose one another as possible flight risks? The point I’m trying to make in relating this story is that several people claiming to be mental health professionals have come here and blasted Angel for her blog. I say look in your own back yard.

    • Lola says:

      Maxine49,

      Nice try at picking a fight, not gonna work darling!! I appreciate the laugh though.

      KarenLee,

      We all could benefit from “a look in our backyard” once in a while. Including you!

      I am allowed to give my opinions on this site, just as everyone else. I in no way attacked angelofdevs, I think she is intelligent and insightful. I stand by my comment.

  23. Not a Fan says:

    I think it is interesting that TV critics, mental health professionals and bloggers are all saying that Kelly and Danielle are mentally ill and neither of them are phased by it. Kelly and Danielle act as if everyone thinks they are wonderful. Kelly said her mental breakdown which she called a “breakthrough made for great television.” Danielle claims she is the star of the show and should get a spin off. Kelly said she was going to help Bravo get more housewives since at least one housewife, Bethenny says she is leaving if Kelly stays. Both of these women are proud of their behavior and see themselves as the victims of the other housewive’s bad behavior. I guess part of the mental illness is they live in their own little world full of paranoia and delusions. They don’t have enough of a grasp on reality to hear what others are really saying.

  24. Pingback: RHONJ’s Caroline Manzo- Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder | A Real Housewife's View

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  26. Pingback: RHONJ’s Danielle Staub – Antisocial Personality Disorder | A Real Housewife's View

  27. Jo Marie says:

    Wow! After last nights episode I find myself with a strong contempt for Jacks. Her performance with Teresa on WWHL only confirmed it. Is it her or is it me?

    • Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

      Jo Marie, I totally agree. Before last night’s episode I thought Jacqueline was the most caring and compassionate of the bunch. But last night she proved she is a bully and a mean girl. It was chilling to see how cold and callous she was towards a woman whom she had befriended and claimed to care about. Now she treats Danielle like she isn’t even human. Jacqueline standing in front of Danielle’s car was despicable behavior.

      I was appalled that Theresa, Jacqueline and her spoiled brat daughter Ashley were blaming Danielle when they were clearly the perpetrators. They enjoyed tormenting Danielle. I think they are all very sick and I am through watching the show. I hope all their fans drop them. These women should not be treated like celebrities. I think Jacqueline, Theresa and Ashley should have all been arrested. They turned a country club into a drunken brawl. Danielle is a drama queen but she was not the aggressor and what she said to Theresa was true. Theresa was not being “nice” and “sweet” when she called her “honey” and then a “hag” and a “bitch.” Theresa’s “mansion” is in foreclosure. I believe Theresa is more violent than Danielle. Jacqueline and Ashley are dangerous also because they have pack mentality.

      • Mudcat says:

        I’m so glad I’m not the only one and I’m not crazy. I think RHONJ is the most dishonest of the housewife shows. Teresa is disgusting and lies as much as Danielle. Who knows how much of this is completely scripted, so it’s hard to say what these women are really like. They are all greedy mean women. The whole thing has revolved around fighting with Danielle. Otherwise these women are completely boring, dumb, and petty. I’m going to enjoy it if Teresa and Joe bring the IRS down on themselves. They deserve it.

  28. karenlee says:

    I think for my own mental health I need to stop watching these shows. What is wrong with me? I couldn’t believe the way these women acted last night. Teresa thinks she’s some gangsta bitch and then completely watered down the story she told to Joe. Did anyone else notice that? She has approximately five words in her vocabulary “I’m a nice person huh”. No Teresa, I don’t think you are.

    Then Teresa and Jacqueline made the pilgrimage to the Godmother’s house to explain and justify their behavior, hoping she would bestow some title on them. I don’t care what Danielle said or did, Ashley had no right to touch her. Ashley was bragging about pulling out Danielle’s hair and then turned around and said she heard that Danielle hit her mother. She never mentioned that in her first few moments of boasting about the assault she just committed. If I were Danielle I would have insisted that Ashley be arrested for assault.

    Teresa went looking for a showdown. How dare Danielle talk smack about her by spreading rumors. That is precisely what these shows encourage, chaos. Each one of them looked like a fool and Ashley’s behavior was criminal and I don’t know what’s wrong with me for watching. I guess my curiosity about the finale and reunion keeps me hooked. Yeah, that’s it, that’s the ticket.

  29. Jo Marie says:

    I’ll be watching too. The more Jac reveals of her self, the more sympathy I have for Ashley. She seems caught in a contest with her mother that she is not equipped to understand, let alone hold her own in. She’s stuck in the web of her mother’s mixed messages and the taboo of a relationship with her step-father. Since she has never had real parental guidance she’s not whole enough to grab the opportunity of escaping to college that saves so many young people.

  30. Bonnie says:

    Teresa, Jacqueline and Ashley are all lacking in intelligence. Part of their ignorance is in not realizing how immature, bullying and narcissistic they all look (by the majority of viewers) by their actions. Immature and unaccountable for their behavior, which I find disgusting at best and dangerous at worst. The fact that they can call out all of Danielle’s horrific behavior yet can not own up to their own just pisses me off. And Danielle on the phone during the show….please, why did you even come? Then again, the situation couldn’t have been any worse with Kim D. setting up the whole situation to really get D’s goat. Everything from the seating arrangements to having Ashley model (?) was designed to piss Danielle off. And she succeeded. I honestly think that Kim D. might be the coke whore among them now. If it looks like one, feels like one and acts like one, it usually is.
    Ashley is just copying Jacqueline’s immature passive/aggressive behavior: that which we, as viewers, usually do not see, but get hints of (“Well, you laughed when you read my Facebook “unbeweavable” “We’ll see cows and rabbits and Danielles..”). I really wonder what goes on behind closed doors when the cameras are not there.
    She loves the drama, the pretense of being so kind and good. In reality, though, she is a nothing, no talent, pretty BAD mother who has had so much botox on her face that her lips look like they are falling off and her brain has been numbed.. Plus, why would she embrace the 2 women that were friends with Danielle before her? Spite, I tell you. Spite. And yes, she did reveal alot of Dina’s problems to Danielle…which Danielle is still using as ammunition. She’s also a very bad friend and not someone I would ever trust with my heart and soul.
    I am officially ashamed to keep my CA driver’s license which has my name plus NJ. I spent 25 wonderful years in Northern NJ and had a business in Hoboken; thus, I met many many people. I honestly never met any of the likes of these low class, neanderthal braggarts. Never.
    I also worked with the Homeless there and now find that they had more depth to their character, as a whole, than any of these fugly, fake and futile females. They are simply a disgrace, not only to NJ, but to womankind in general. I watch now out of habit. One which I hope to break and soon.
    Andy Cohen…..something is so wrong with you for not calling these woman (sp intentional) out on their bad, disgraceful behavior.
    Trust me when I tell you: Teresa gives Paterson a worse name than it already has.
    G-d, spare me this show anymore. I couldn’t even watch it twice. It’s just so embarrassing to see grown women behave in such a horrible manner. I want to be so over this show. Please. Soon. Please.

  31. Marybelle says:

    Ok, I don’t think Jacqueline behaved that bad by comparison to Teresa, Danielle, and Ashley. Someone mentioned Jacqueline and Teresa’s drinking on here before. And I think what is not being is that CLEARLY everyone of them was WASTED in the last episode. Danielle certainly was (or her crazy is just beyond imaginable with the crying histrionics which were clearly fake ), Jacqueline was, and Teresa DEFINITELY was, Ashley probably was (although who knows as she is such a grasping desperate fame whore). All of these ‘woman’ were drunkey drunkifers acting like freshman year sorority girls after too much jungle juice at the date dash. This does not, however, excuse their behavior.

    I definitely think Teresa (who is mildly insane to begin with) would have ignored Danielle if weren’t for all the intoxications she appeared to be under. And I think Danielle (who is certifiable) would have reacted slightly less insanely had she been sober. I think Jacqueline probs would have had the where-with-all to avoid the interaction totally if not drunk also. Standing in front of the car didn’t bother me btw and I do believe she did so to keep tabs on the situation.

    However – why is it after the fact, the next morning, when they had aaallll sobered up and had binge eaten greasy fried foods at 3 am did they not feel SUPER EMBARRASSED about what happened and want to never speak of it again?! That is still what gets me. If I acted that way and knew ALL of my friends saw it not to mention the American public I would die of shame and quit the show right then adn there and definitely swear off drinking. I mean ALL of them Teresa, Danielle, JAc, etc. they all acted reprehensible and insane.

    Did you see how horrified Caroline looked just hearing about it?! I have to give her credit for that … she definitely chastised them after the fact and did not hold back.

    Also, NOW Danielle really DOES have a reason to claim they are persecuting her. So now the truly crazy nut case one, really does have a reason to continue with all her vitriolic, passive-agressive, stalker drama because she can forever and ever in her pathetic life go back to this incident of the time her hair – her REAL hair- (which she will likely keep for eternity) was wrenched from her innocent head while being attacked at the Franklin Lakes Country Club which is where all herpeople go. sweet jesus – I am DONE with this trashtastic excuse for a television show.

    • Marybelle says:

      * I meant she will likely keep the clump of hairball that Ashley apparently yanked out of her head for all eternity. How did she get it we may never know…. perhaps she cut it out herself to further exacerbate her point. *

    • Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

      I have mentioned on many of Angel’s blogs that I believe alcohol plays a big part in the drama on the housewives shows. I agree with Marybelle that the country club drunken brawl would NEVER have happened if Theresa, Jacqueline and Danielle weren’t all wasted. Theresa threw the table and babbled incoherently at last season’s finale because she was drunk out of her mind and called Danielle a hag, bitch and whore and tried to fight her this season because she was wasted. Jacqueline stood in front of Danielle’s car because she was brain dead from the alcohol. Alcohol makes people dumb, crazy and dangerous.

      That’s why Bravo pushes the alcohol. On one Watch What Happens Next, Andy Cohen explained that he and his guest, Kelly Rippa, were pausing and calling each other “sweetie” as they each sipped alcoholic beverages as a cue for the housewives who are watching to down shots of whiskey. Bravo chooses cast mates who enjoy getting drunk because Bravo knows alcohol loosens tongues and releases inhibitions and it will create drama, which brings in high ratings. The housewives will insult each other, talk about sex, get into a brawl, dance on stripper poles and do the Turtle dance while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I am convinced that many of the housewives are alcoholics because you rarely see them when they aren’t wasted. Examples: RHONJ Theresa and Jacqueline are always drinking when they are together and Theresa got drunk with Derek’s mother on the first meeting. Kim D and Kim G are always drunk too when they create drama.

      RHONY Ramona and Sonja are always drunk at parties and fashion shows. That’s why Ramona is always insulting someone and doing the Turtle dance and Sonja is talking about sex.

      RHOOC Alexas, Tamara, Gretchen and Lynn toss down the shots and drink in the daytime. Lynn and Kelly could also be drug addicts. Either way people say and do things they would never do if they weren’t under the influence of drugs and alcohol, which creates drama that brings in big ratings for Bravo.

      I also agree that Jacqueline and Theresa proved Danielle right when she said the Manzo camp was out to get her and she needed protection from them. We see Theresa, Jacqueline and Ashley on tape ganging up on Danielle who is trying to leave and avoid a confrontation. The stupid drunk Mean Girls also gave Danielle ammunition to file a lawsuit against Theresa and Ashley in which she is charging them with assault and battery, defamation of character and asking for punitive damages. They will get lawyers and counter sue her and continue to feud and drama. Just like the drunken brawl was the focus of this season, the court battle will be the focus of next season and every scene will feature Danielle, Caroline, Theresa, Jacqueline and Ashley either discussing the lawsuit or meeting with their lawyers and going to court.

      Frankly, I find watching drunks make fools of themselves boring and a waste of time so I am done watching any of the shows.

      • Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

        I also agree with Marybelle that Danielle became more paranoid and sobbed hysterically because of the alcohol she consumed also.

      • Bonnie says:

        It’s quite possible that these housewives are not only on alcohol alone.
        The day that Danielle stormed into Posche, did you notice how slurred her speech was when she spoke on the phone with her poor daughter?
        Jacqueline is horrible to boot. She’s screaming as she is running after Danielle something about a gun and D using it on someone. Where was it proven that all of this stuff was true?
        I, too, am so sick of these imbeciles invading my home. I have actually gotten into Bethenny Getting Married and she is HILARIOUS. I feel so good after watching her show as opposed to feeling horrible after RHoNJ. Bethenny’s show is a real goldmine of intelligence, neurosis and humor. This woman can do anything and is self depricating enough to earn my heart. She really is a WINNER.

  32. Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

    Bonnie, you cracked me up when you wrote: “I too am so sick of these imbeciles invading my home.” I know what you mean. I abhor drunks and violence. If family members or friends got into a drunken brawl in our living room, we would call the cops and kick them out. Why should we put up with it on our TV?

    Bethanny’s show is fun, relaxing and entertaining. It reminds me of the TV sitcom Rhoda, the spinoff of Mary Tyler Moore.

    I abhor drunks and violence.

    Danielle’s crime took place 24 years ago when she was known as Beverly Ann Merrill aka Angela Minelli. She was arrested by FBI agents in June 1986 for her role in a kidnapping plot that grew out of a cocaine deal gone bad. She was charged with eight felonies, including extortion, cocaine possession, and narcotics conspiracy. In August 1986, she took a plea to one felony count and got five years probation in exchange for testifying against her co-conspirators.

    The imbeciles beating Danielle over the head for something she did 24 years ago is melodramatic and ridiculous.

    My TV will not be tuned to Bravo on Monday nights.

    • Bonnie says:

      I actually LOL when I watch Bethenny’s show. And I really didn’t expect to like it, but she is disarmingly witty and funny. She is the only real STAR to emerge from the whole HW series. Kandi was already a star in her own right.
      I honestly think that so many of these HW are also on medication. And the alcohol really fuels their anger and their acting. With all the plastic surgery these girls have had, I’m certain that some of them are addicted to pain meds routinely given after such procedures.
      Am I alone, but does Jacqueline’s face look almost completely unreal…from the cheeks to the nose to the lips? Ashley looks NOTHING like her in the face. NOTHING. I find that highly unusual that she does not have a single feature of her mother. In fact, the only thing they have in common is their amoeba brains and lack of wisdom.

  33. wachuset says:

    I stopped watching weeks ago. One morning I woke up and had an epiphany. I knew that the senseless and destructive interaction on the show portrayed women in the worst possible light and watching the show vindicated everything they represented. So I kicked the habit……..ooops I should say somewhat. I stopped watching the show but I still love this site……well some habits are hard to kick. Wish me luck!

  34. Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

    The more I think about it the more I am convinced that this entire Country Club smack down was choreographed by Bravo producers. None of these wasted bimbos had the brains to think of this on their own. I suspect that behind the scenes, Kim D, Kim G, Danielle, Theresa and Jacqueline are snorting coke as well as drowning themselves in alcohol even before they step in front of a camera. So they are wasted and easy to manipulate by the producers. These women are wearing mikes and go into hair and makeup before ever appearing before cameras so there is plenty of time for the producers to coach them on how to act. Their contract also says they have to interact with cast mates.

    I’m sure the producers thought up the idea to have Kim D host her first fashion show at the country club and invite Jacqueline, Theresa and Danielle figuring there would be fire works. Kim D wouldn’t have the money to rent the country club, pay for all the booze and the models. So Bravo sprung for all that. All Kim D had to do was invite the enemy camps. Then they leaked the news to Danielle who as predicted spontaneously combusted and went off on Kim and stormed out saying no friend of hers invites her enemies. When Danielle said to the cameras she was no longer a friend or customer of Kim D, that presented a problem so the producers called Kim D and told her to repair the friendship and make sure Danielle shows at the fashion show. She did.

    The producers convinced Kim G to pick up Danielle to make sure she got there. Kim D was instructed by Bravo to seat Theresa and Jacqueline at her table and to not get up and greet Danielle and not to hire Danielle’s professional model daughter but to hire Ashley, who had no experience in modeling, to walk in the fashion show. They expected Danielle would explode and march over to the table and make a scene shrieking at Kim D. Instead, Danielle acts passive aggressive and pretends to be talking on the phone to “piss people off.”

    So the producers had to go to Plan B. When the show is over and when Danielle goes to the rest room, a producer convinces wasted Theresa to wait for Danielle and pretend to be nice and say, “Hi,” knowing Danielle would see right through the little game. The producers had already heard Danielle say in the cameras, “Theresa is an animal and if she comes at me, I’ll fight back” and “I can wear high heels because I won’t be running from anyone tonight.” When Danielle picks up on Theresa’s little act and starts to leave, Kim G (instructed by producers) pulls her back in with, “Come on. She’s trying to be nice.” Then Theresa and Danielle start screaming at each other and Danielle runs breaking her heels and is trapped. A producer instructs wasted Jacqueline to run after her so Jacqueline starts screaming, “I saw your court records” and brings up something about a gun and Theresa, coached by a producer, soon follows calling Danielle a bitch and a coke whore. A producer most likely makes sure Ashley hears Jacqueline and Theresa shouting and chasing Danielle so she jumps into the fight and yanks Danielle’s hair while screaming bitch at her.

    When Danielle jumps into the car and says she wants to leave, the producers instruct Theresa to jump in front of the car and challenge her to a fight so she has no choice but to call the cops. Jacqueline runs after Theresa and Ashley comes running out so she sends both of them away and stands in front of the car so Danielle can’t leave. The reason Jacqueline and Theresa won’t take responsibility for their behavior is that they were acting on instructions of Bravo.

    These women are so wasted most of the time and so desperate for their 15 minutes of fame that they can’t even see that Bravo is making fools of them on national TV for high ratings. Or maybe their brains are so fried by alcohol and drugs that they don’t even get it.

    • Bonnie says:

      Your scenario is brilliant! I will just disagree on one point: I don’t think the “models” were paid anything. They probably felt it was an honor to be asked to walk in such a show (elch!) and Danielle’s daughter actually does get paid to model. More than likely, they didn’t ask her, because they knew her agent would say “No”.
      You know as much as this does seem scripted, I wonder how the wonderful parents will deal with the legal fallout concerning Ashley. Again, it seems to align with my theory that Jacqueline is just about brain dead, as is her daughter…to not think of the future consequences for her daughter’s life. I wonder if Jacqueline drank during her pregnancy with Ashley as A seems to have symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
      angeofdevs, what are those symptoms? It’s been over 15 years since I worked with the homeless in NJ and had a couple of cases of FAS in the mix.

      • Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

        I don’t know anything about Fetal Alchohol Sydrome. But if Jacqueline was drinking during her pregnancy, it is a distinct possibility. Most likely Jacqueline started drinking in her teens because I believe she mentioned in a blog she was a cocktail waitress before she met Chris.

        Ashley does seem dense and lacking desire and ambition to do anything but mooch off her mother and stepfather. And no matter how many times Jacqueline and Chris talk to Ashley about treating her mother with respect and to stay away from Danielle, she doesn’t listen. She keeps saying, “I am the bad guy and Danielle is wonderful” or “I am a bad daughter.”

        I can’t imagine an 18 or 19 year old not believing she can do whatever she wants to Danielle and if Danielle presses charges it’s because her mother, Theresa and Caroline won’t be friends with her.

        I also don’t know of many 18 or 19 year olds who move out of their parents home and then go back. Once teenagers get a taste of freedom, they’ll do anything to live on their own. Ashley acts like she likes being a baby forever and depending on Mommy and Daddy taking care of her.

        Jacqueline said she worried about Ashley not being equipped to live on her own but I don’t see Jacqueline and Chris assisting her in getting and education or training so she can get a job and support herself. They don’t seem to get it that they are enabling her to get into trouble because she has nothing else to do but write on Facebook and get drunk or do drugs with her friends.

      • Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

        This sentence should read: I can’t imagine an 18 or 19 year old really believing she can do whatever she wants to Danielle and if Danielle presses charges it’s because her mother, Theresa and Caroline won’t be friends with her.

  35. Secretly Addicted says:

    Of all the NJ women, I find Jacqueline the most annoying. It’s difficult for me to believe that she has a teenage daughter. Her vocabulary and the way she whines and complains make her seems the same age as Ashley.

  36. Not a Jacqueline Fan says:

    Albie ought to instruct Caroline and Jacqueline on the law. Under the eyes of the law, Ashley is not a child because she is either 18 or 19 by now. Yet, when Jacqueline told Caroline she was concerned that Ashley might do something to Danielle at the fashion show, Caroline told her she was the parent and had to control her “child.” When Ashley ran into the parking lot when Jacqueline was trying to convince Theresa to leave, Jacqueline yelled at Ashley, ” Go home. You are a child.”

    I think Jacqueline is a complete hypocrit and bad role model for Ashley because she clearly is saying, “Do as I say, not do as I do.” Jacqueline told Theresa it was a bad idea to even talk to Danielle when she was waiting outside the rest room for Danielle to come out. But instead of going to find Ashley and leaving with Ashley, Jacqueline stayed for the big fight, chased Danielle through the country club yelling at her and then stood in front of Danielle’s car so she has to call the police in order to leave. Then in the confessional she had the nerve to say Danielle should have gone home and called the cops and talked to them in the privacy of her living room. She is clearly giving mixed messages to Ashley.

    There is no doubt that Ashley would not have jumped into the fight and pulled Danielle’s extension off her head if her mother was not chasing Danielle and screaming at her. Ashley has “pack” mentality and if her family is feuding with someone, she wants to get in on the action. I bet Ashley snorted cocaine with Theresa, Danielle and Jacqueline when they partied together last season. Most likely they were all high on coke when Theresa threw the table last season and started the Country Club brawl this season. I don’t think Danielle would have called Ashley a “coke whore” if she didn’t know something. Theresa also called Danielle a “coke whore.”

    Yet, Theresa and Jacqueline are still bragging about their behavior in their blogs and on Andy Cohen’s show after the brawl.

  37. Pingback: RHONJ’s Dina Manzo – Functioning well | A Real Housewife's View

  38. Pingback: Mental Disorders 101

  39. I found it particularly disturbing to see Ashley laughing at having charges brought up on her. Normally someone without any law knowledge would be frightened to know they were fixing to be in trouble with the law. I think Ashley was laughing because the whole scene was scripted by BRAVO and ‘what kind of Real Trouble can I possibly be in if this is all Just a Show’ ?
    The couple that crashed the White House event?….what charges have been brought against them? Had that been me, I would not be posting this right now…I would be In Jail. Do NOT tell me the FBI/White House Security would not have jumped my ass BIG TIME if I’d done what the DC couple did. I am pissed that couple got away with something. The White House is already a ‘joke’ lately to a lot of people…and the DC couple just proved it.

  40. Bea says:

    Reading her blog (especially recently) reveals Jacqueline to be very similar to others… nasty, catty, cruel, manipulative, self absorped, hypocritical, rationalizes all kinds of bad behavior, owns up to nothing for the most part and when she seems to (it’s questionably genuine), is now a follower of Caroline, Teresa and the “mean girls” lynch mob, witch hunt club.

    I think she might be a masochist but I also think she has NPD too (like the rest of them on this show and most “reality” shows and in the entertainment business too).

  41. Bea says:

    Check this book out, you will be suprised, not only how many people on TV (film, music, etc, more today than ever) as well as in your own life, in our society today, are more than the normal “healthy” level of narcissistic and how toxic it really is to our lives (especially to children):

    The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists
    by Eleanor Payson

    This book is written in a very easy to read style and yet is so informative and amazing.
    I am currently about half way through it.

  42. amateur RH says:

    I’m seriously beginning to worry about Ashley. At nineteen, is she STUPID? She is STILL not getting even a glimmer of what she has done and how inappropriate it was.
    She is now considering ‘counter-suing’ Danielle and when Chris told her that Danielle didn’t have anything to ‘get’ her response was something like, ‘she has hair extensions and a car…’
    She is tired of ‘hearing about it’ from her mother, but Jac is just trying to get through to her…albeit, a little late for responsible mothering to start.
    All these young mothers need to realize that when they raise spoiled kids, they turn out like Ashley, not having a clue about anything! A simple question for Ashley would be, ‘How would you react if someone pulled your hair?’ Do any of us think that Ashley would be forgiving and let it go?
    I predict these children are actually going to turn out even worse than the RHONJ as they are being egged on by the cameras and they think it’s fun.

  43. lachihuahua says:

    I am in such agreement with many of the comments regarding J. Unfortunately, she is my least favorite housewife (I only watch RHONJ). IMO, she is one of those people who stirs the pot…adds a little gasoline…and then jumps out of the way to watch it all explode. When it does explode, she stands there and goes, “how did that happen?” with her hands up in the air.

    She is frustrating to me because I believe she has the capacity to be better, to be more self aware. I make allowances for T because I think she is a bit limited intellectually and educationally and while she is very crass, I find her oddly humorous. I don’t think I could be friends with her, but I would probably enjoy observing her from a bit of a distance. I suppose that says more about me than it does her.

    Da, I think has a true disorder. I could not be friends with her. I think she would suck the oxygen out of my life and leave me exhausted after each interaction.

    C, I think is a bit bossy…I may be able to be an acquaintance with her in small doses.

    Di, was my favorite and I could be friends with her, though I would not care for her husband.

    IMO, whether or not J is aware of it, she is an idle gossip. She doesn’t want to be friends with Da (or feels her family will not approve if she is), but she wants to know what Da is up to. I think this drove her relationship with Kim G, a relationship that has not served J well at all. At times, she behaves as if she finds Kim G, exasperating but she still seeks Kim out. I don’t understand it.

    I think she has a sad relationship with her daughter, possibly because she was young when she gave birth to her. My speculation is that she was more of a friend to Ashley than a ‘mom’ when they were alone. Now that Ashley is older, I think she still thinks of her mom as one of her girlfriends. Ashley clearly does not respect her mother or logical boundaries. The only person she appears to hear is her stepfather, on occasion.

    J’s lack of decisiveness and clarity in dealing with her relationships and daughter make it very difficult to know where she is coming from, thus making her extremely easy to disappoint and imo, a fickle friend.

    Every time I hear her comment in the show opening, “everyone likes to have nice things, but I’m not one to brag about it…” I have to roll my eyes because that is exactly what that statement is…bragging about it. Is she seriously that self-unaware?

  44. addicted to this sick show says:

    Jaqueline is a nice enough person. For those of you who are playing the drinking card….who on earth could be on a show such as this and not turn to the bottle or maybe a script of xanax?? Her daughter Ashley has the maturity of a twelve year old and is spoiled rotten….but then what do we see coming out of Franklin Lakes,…but spoiled immature women who feel the entitlement of having a man take care of your every expense or need?? This is not the rest of the world. The worst thing I can say about her is that she is enabling her daughter. She is not condoning what her daughter has done as Caroline is…..no matter what the circumstances it was WRONG…even her thinking was and is WRONG Caroline, not right! Dina was the smart one to get out and I had hoped that Jackie might follow for her own families health and well being. She tries to be a good friend, being on the outskirts of the Manzo Laurita families would be a hard place to be for anyone. It is probably easier for her to not make any friends the family hasn’t approved of first than to be in constant battle and fear of losing her husband. In itself I just feel sorry for her.

  45. PanamaCityFL says:

    What’s with all the Eating?!
    Has anybody else ever noticed that Jacqueline is one sure enough eatin MACHINE?
    I don’t know when it started but I have noticed that she is eating in almost every episode.
    Surely, the show is featuring her eating on purpose. If I had the time and technology I would gather all the little snippets of Jac poking, popping & shoving food in her mouth and play it like a video!
    I first noticed this during the card game episode. After Ashley invaded the game because she couldn’t stand being around her mom anymore. Jac & Tree entered the card room with trays of food and one second after Ashleys final remark just before Jac escorted her out she pushed a very large piece of food into her mouth. I honestly thought it should have been bitten in half. It looked like a giant marshmallow or a big piece of cheese or bread. I remember feeling embarrassed for her that it was filmed like that. It’s been downhill (for me) from there.
    And now it’s like a game for me to “See Jac Eat!’ (Like Where’s Waldo?)You might think I’m a real sicko but the fact that I’m a Real Housewives Fan says it all.
    Watch the reruns you’ll see Jac eat at the housewarming party when she was having it out w Kim G, She was eating cold pizza the morning at Tree’s house just before the trip, She visited Caroline one morning and raided her cookie box on camera. Too many to name off.
    Oh and she’s always eating w her fingers, like it doesn’t count if you don’t use silverware? The only time I see her using utensils is when other people are eating with her, like during dinner. Watch and see!
    PS If I have to hear Tree screach “Do You Like It??!!” one more time….I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if she says that to Jac as she’s popping a half a turkey in her mouth!

  46. Emily H says:

    I haven’t read ALL the comments (too busy) but one thing I notice that Nobody else seems to notice OR agree with is the dynamic between Jacqueline and her daughter. I think Jac is sarcastic and childish w/ Ashley. I think she acts very immature when dealing w/ her. She is WAY to quick to be offended or feel slighted. I can see why Ashley reacts to her mother the way that she does. I notice too, that she is always Negative with Ashley. I think Ashley’s behavior is much more complicated than Her Just Being a Brat!

  47. Eriekah says:

    You know how they say when you become a drug addict or have some type of trauma in your life you tend to stay at that age where it happens? This is how i see Jac.. I feel that when she had Ashley she really didn’t want to be a mother and now she is stuck at that age. Jac acted like a teenager then and still does now. She is always saying how much she gave up to raise Ashley (which i find as an insult to her child). No Jac you decided to have unprotected sex and got pregnant, you also decided to keep her, therefore it was your responsibility to raise her. Stop blaming your daughter for your life and how it has ended up being. grow up you are now what 40?? act it!!!
    This blog was written in 2010 and now in 2013 Jac is still 18 yo. Specially the Zumba episode. All she talked about was how she cant dance in front of ppl. It was sicken to watch. GET HELP JAC. You need it bad.

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