Welcome back to my blog about the psychological disorders displayed on the Real Housewives series featured on Bravo. Once again I do have a psych degree but I am not a practicing psychologist. These posts are intended for entertainment purposes only, mostly my entertainment I will admit.
Thanks so much for the responses to the blog, many of which help me see other ideas and points of view. I do love any and all comments, feel free to disagree or point out flaws in logic respectfully. I am still open to anything.
I am returning to the subject of Kelly Killoren Bensimon today. Kelly is one of the women featured on Bravo’s Real Housewives Of New York City, also known as RHONY. I wrote my first post about Ms. Bensimon right after I watched the shows where she had an emotional breakdown while vacationing with the other RHONY wives. My thought at the time was that she was suffering from a case of paranoid personality disorder.
Since then I have observed Kelly more on TV and through her twitter posts. I have also been reading comments here on my blog and doing further research on my own. After much thought, I am reevaluating my prior judgement.
I still think what is wrong with Kelly is a form of paranoia but I believe it is schizoaffective disorder. I could not have said that for my first post because more observation was needed to justify that explanation, it could not be based on that one particular incident.
Schizoaffective disorder is a mental disorder characterized by recurring episodes of simultaneously elevated and depressed mood, that alternate with, or occur together with, distortions in perception. It most commonly affects cognition and emotion. Auditory hallucinations, paranoia, bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social and occupational dysfunction are typical.
People with schizoaffective disorder experience delusions which are acute manifestations of an active psychosis and are not personality traits; that is, they go away when the psychosis subsides. Manifestations of delusions include the individual being convinced that she is being monitored, watched or persecuted by something, when in reality she is not. Individuals may also feel extremely paranoid. People with schizoaffective disorder are likely to have additional conditions, this could include substance abuse.
During a vacation shown on Bravo, Kelly displayed a lot of her general feeling that everyone is out to get her. A varying times she refered to others as witches, mean and vile. She accused one castmate of “channeling the Devil” himself and another woman of having knives on her tongue and “literally trying to claw my eyes out”. She insisted that Bethenny Frankel tried to harm both her and her children with no proof. She talked of vivid dreams where one of the ladies tried to stab her, making a frantic stabbing motion herself as she retold the tale.
She at times self isolated and at others lashed out toward at least three of the women. Her ramblings were illogical, at times even unintelligible. Her anger was of an inappropriate level to the given situations as well. Her mood went from odd euphoria at times, to hostile verbal attacks, followed at least twice by crying jags. Whenever emotions were shown she grew more uncomfortable and agitated, even when the emotions were innocuous or not directed at her in any way. She read into every situation a threat against her personally.
She raged against anyone who was visibly feeling anything, claiming it was *so 1979*. I confess the amateur shrink in me wonders exactly what happened to Ms Bensimon during that particular year as it is an otherwise completely random choice. She told numerous people to zip it and otherwise shut their mouth, as she clearly could not handle conversation of any type. A true breakdown occurred and I doubt we saw even close to the worst of it.
I think Sonja Morgan may have saved more harm coming to anyone else during the vacation scenes. She calmly and rationally made everyone realize the powder keg was ready to blow. Do I think it could have escalated in something dangerous? Yes I really do. Luckily dispassionate calmness is indeed the best way to defuse this type of situation.
Since Kelly has returned from *Scary Island* she has done a PSA about systematic bullying, claiming she was a victim of it at the hands of the other housewives during their vacation. I think this is one of her persecutory delusions. I do not feel she was bullied at all but it is clear she honestly does. I do not think she is faking or trying to put a spin on the situation, in her reality this is the truth as she sees it, she honestly feels she was victimized.
Kelly has claimed she was forced to go on the vacation by Bravo, which everyone else refutes. Kelly also claims that the housewives are all acting, also denied by all the other participants. Her recollections of other incidents are filled with mistaken perceptions as well.
Kelly has admitted memory issues as well as difficulty paying attention. She has stated she *turns the volume down* on other housewives while they are talking then jumps into conversations she doesn’t fully understand. On the reunion show it was obvious that she is still suffering from delusions as well as thought disorders.
Her thought disorders manifest in phrases such as satchels of gold, odd references to Al Sharpton and “making lemons out of lemonade”. She speaks in contradictions and pieces of thoughts rather than in full rational statements. She cannot see that wearing fur is not supportive of PETA or why they would disapprove of it. Even Jill Zarin has said she cannot make sense out of most of Kelly’s tweets. Ms. Bensimon clearly does not have the ability to communicate effectively or with any real degree of sense during significant amounts of time.
At any rate I now feel that Kelly Killoren Bensimon is a true example of Schizoaffective Disorder but again, you must judge for yourselves.
In schizoaffective disorder, symptoms may include:
- Delusions– These beliefs are not based in reality and usually involve misinterpretation of perception or experience.
- Hallucinations– These usually involve seeing or hearing things that don’t exist, although hallucinations can be in any of the senses.
- Thought disorder– Difficulty speaking and organizing thoughts may result in stopping speech mid sentence or putting together meaningless words, sometimes known as “word salad.”
- Disorganized behavior– This may show in a number of ways, ranging from childlike silliness to unpredictable agitation.
Negative symptoms which can include
- Loss of interest in everyday activities
- Appearing to lack emotion
- Reduced ability to plan or carry out activities
- Neglect of personal hygiene
- Social withdrawal
- Loss of motivation
- Problems with making sense of information
- Difficulty paying attention
- Memory problems
For anyone having navigational issues here are the links to the other discussions on the Housewives of New York:
https://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/rhonys-jill-zarin-the-classic-narcissist/
https://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/15/rhonys-ramona-singer-cyclothymia/
A Real Housewife's View 
This seems like a more accurate take on KKB, and more elegantly put than my own diagnosis of “nutjob.” (Of course, Bethenny phrased it best with “Humpty Dumpty.”)
At heart, she feels it makes sense to retain her behaviors which *don’t* make sense. I also feel her core is still very infantile- as if she’s a teenager in a middle-aged body who is uncomprehending of the nuances other adults possess. She seems determined to retain these qualities- and maybe remain a 16-yo beauty queen forever.
I completely agree! This entire season, something about Kelly’s behavior has been picking at the back of my brain. I realized while watching the second part of the reunion that she behaves like a teenage girl…..an a young one at that. Her lanugauge, the way she plays with her hair, how she cuts people off when she doesn’t like what they’re saying and just turns her head. She’s a teenager trapped in a grown woman’s body! Even when she tries to speak clearly, you can tell she’s making a conscious effort to use “big” words and speak slowly so she can be clear. Yet, she doesn’t always use those words properly. Like others, I am really concerned about her well-being. If it’s true that she had to be “escorted” off the island by a “producer” then there really is a problem. Bravo needs to consider her well-being before bringing her back not matter how many viewers her breakdowns bring in. It’s just wrong.
I totally agree. The hair playing is annoying to the 10th degree. “Hate is part of the ecosystem”. What the… To me, it was obvious Andy treaded lightly with regard to Kelly. One of her many claims is that she hates talking badly about people and then told pregnant Bethenny “nobody cares about you, nobody” That was the worst thing any of them said to or about each other. Andy never mentioned it or the Bethenny tried to kill me so many times, she’s got knives on her tongue, gonna claw my eyes out, thinks others are bullying her by asking her to take her cell phone call in the other room, and the list goes on and on. I have never witnessed anyone acting like Kelly and frankly, her behavior fascinates me. I’m rambling, but my point is if she can’t take the finale, then stay home. Jill got blasted and rightly so, but at least she appologized.
I think Andy just let her have the floor so the viewers could see what the girls on the vacation really had to deal with. There really was no need to have the other housewives tell their side of the vacation as we all got to see firsthand
To use Kelly on the next season may be bordering on exploitation, but I want her back!!!
Is that so wrong?? I need the crazy! I feel so better about myself after:P
Kelly is the girl that always got her way because she was pretty. She didn’t have to be especially smart or
develop any debate/conversation skills beyond the superficial. People just did what she wanted.
This is probably one of the first times in her life she has been challenged and she just can’t hold up.
Additions in parenthisis are from me, the peanut gallery) Angelofdevs stated- “Since Kelly has returned from *Scary Island* she has done a PSA about systematic bullying, claiming she was a victim of it at the hands of the other housewives during their vacation. I think this is one of her persecutory delusions. (This is evidance of a subjective opinion not based on facts, or REALITY) I do not feel she was bullied at all but it is clear she honestly does. (The word ALL is evidance of all or nothing thinking patterns which are based on perfectionism. It’s also evidance of a cognitive distortion. Again not based on facts or reality. “I don’t feel she was bullied at all” is not a feeling, it’s a thought. ) I do not think she is faking or trying to put a spin on the situation, in her reality this is the truth as she sees it, she honestly feels she was victimized.” (Because in fact, she was and is still being victimized by anyone here who not only thinks but said out loud that she suffers from mental illness. )
In the book “What God wants,” the author stated “Creating and maintaining a worldwide society in which exploitation, oppression, and injustice are commonplace is a form of violence. Ignoring suffering is as much a form of violence as inducing it.” It’s a fact that it’s more difficult to recover from trauma when it stems from human cruelty and neglect. Social rejection or subordingation is proven to cause chronic stress. Being told you are “crazy” or mislabeling an individual with a mental illness is in fact evidance of emotional abuse. Calling someone crazy, (As many people have done to Kelly, including Bethanny screaming it to her on “Scary Island) in addition to the human cruelty, is also evidance of neglecting to have compassion for the stress the individual is suffering from.
I have not found evidance that Kelly suffers from the symptoms of schizoeffective disorder. I am sorry she has been victimized and suffered social rejection/subordination. She didn’t deserve it. Bearing false witness is also evidance of human cruelty and neglect. Some wounds are too deep and raw to heal, especially when humans keep poking a finger in her wounds!
In schizoaffective disorder, symptoms may include:
Delusions- These beliefs are not based in reality and usually involve misinterpretation of perception or experience.
Hallucinations- These usually involve seeing or hearing things that don’t exist, although hallucinations can be in any of the senses.
Thought disorder- Difficulty speaking and organizing thoughts may result in stopping speech mid sentence or putting together meaningless words, sometimes known as “word salad.”
Disorganized behavior- This may show in a number of ways, ranging from childlike silliness to unpredictable agitation.
Negative symptoms which can include
Loss of interest in everyday activities
Appearing to lack emotion
Reduced ability to plan or carry out activities
Neglect of personal hygiene
Social withdrawal
Loss of motivation
Problems with making sense of information
Difficulty paying attention
Memory problems
“The Ten Commandments”
The Lord is calling all his children today,
“Follow my commandments”, he chose to say.
“You must not worship another God above me,
And create no false idiols from the earth, heaven or sea. ”
For I am a jealous God who rules your land,
I give unfailing love and devotion to those who follow my command.
Though the sins of the parents will cause the children great strife,
Those who believe are granted everlasting life.
You must rest on the Sabbeth, my Holy day,
Learn the gospels my faithful and make time to pray.
You must not commit murder, nor dare to steal,
No affection for another lover may you feel.
For committing adultery is the ultimate sin,
And betrayal is a heartbreaking game no one can win.
Thou shalt not covet what belongs to another,
And remember to honor thy father and mother.
You will be swiftly punished for causing me shame.
“Thou shalt not use the Lord’s name in vain.”
The most difficult commandment to obey,above all other,
“Thou shall not bare false witness” against thy brother.
This one command most often my children defy,
As against one another, they do unjustly testify.
It’s easy to find fault in your fellow man,
To speak evil against them because you think you can.
Humans neglect to understand the price one must pay,
For deminishing my children with creul words you say.
You must cherish and uplift each one of my sheep,
And you will be rewarded for the commandments you keep.
If you love the Lord, your God, I want you to know,
Take heart my children, “You reap what you sow.”
Chris Woolnough
4/9/2011
lol–it can’t be helped I guess, when you see something so bizarre, you just can’t believe it, so nut job seems accurate to me! hahaha…
Just noticed her tweets now include how she is “helping” find real housewives to add to the show.
Good Golly Miss Molly.
That’s like asking the fox to chicken-sit the flock.
We don’t want real housewives ala the boring Jennifer. Bring the crazies please.
LOL, thanks for the laugh!! If that is the case, and Kelly is actually helping to bring in more housewives, you just HAVE to know Bravo’s agenda is clearly out there–they want more crazy like Kelly! I’m not sure we can handle two or more of THAT kind of nuts…;)
This gave me a hardy chuckle, thank you.
lol, also with “cuckoo for cocoa puffs”
I don’t think someone with schizoaffective disorder has the ability to “retain” or not “retain”. You word your post here as if KKB has a choice in retaining her symptoms of a very serious mental illness or not.
This makes no sense whatsoever. Someone with cancer can’t be “determined to retain these qualities” of the symptoms of cancer like organ failure. To die or not to die from it, it to be effected by it or not be effected by it.
I have not been at all fond of KKB. I also think she has some NPD things like the scene with Bethenny telling her how she, KKB, is “up here” and Bethenny is “down there”= grandiosity, and how she showed up late to meet Bethenny at that bar and then was disrepectful = devalueing.
However, I do think AngelofDevs is probably on with this diagnoses of Schizoaffective disorder too. I think she probably also has NPD possibly too.
People with Personality disorders or any mental inllness for that matter, can’t “retain” or not retain the symptoms of their illness. It’s an illness, of the mind. Particularly when you get into the deeper realms of mental illness, as schizoaffective disorder is.
Also, I don’t think it’s snarkey cute funny from Bethenny or anyone else to refer to someone with a mental illness like schizoaffective disorder as a “nutjob” and/or “Humpty Dumpty”.
I like Bethenny and she seems more healthy than others, but I think she clearly has also has some NPD doing too and although I have a good sense of humor and enjoy her and some good snark, I don’t enjoy it when it’s hurtful to others or used as an insincere, passive agressive weapon, especially towards the seriously mentally ill, as KKB, probably is, especially if AngelofDevs is correct in her dx here.
I agree! I just watched this again, ten years later. I had an experience with a person with similar mental health issues.
These people are sick and become worse with alcohol or other substance, but can also be brought on by simply improper nutrition, missing a meal, or lack of sleep. If pushed they can become violent and dangerous during these episodes. It is very important that KKB is under the care of a doctor with experience in this matter, for the sake of her children.
This time you have done a great disservice to the object of your blog. You really need to reassess your agenda. Are you being paid for your pronouncements? You are using your very thin credentials to add weight to gossip. It is not Ok to leave our morals at the door to peddle gossip. I ahve commented before on your blog. I am as guilty as anyone in advancing an agenda. I try to keep in the cognitive realm and refer to facts, not imagination. I don’t claim to be an authority on psychology, only on what was seen and said on the show.
“Manifestations of delusions include the individual being convinced that she is being monitored, watched or persecuted by something, when in reality she is not.”
She is indeed being “monitored, watched or persecuted” a bunch of folks who seem ot have the compassion of iguanas. She is also “monitored, watched and made a figure of disdain by us. Everything she does, says, or is seen doing is open to public comment. I bet none of us would want the hell that represents. She needs to get her life back, and quit the show.
She foolishly agreed to be on a show that puts everyhing she does under a microscope. Like most of us she is not ready for ‘prime time’.
She was the object of bullying, that was made clear on the reunion show, where the ‘loathsome 4some’ tried ot continue the same old pattern. Even Andy recognized it.
She tried ot make friends with folks who did not like her. She is very naive. Alex was everybit as much or even more paranoid as Kelly. Remember how she didn’t want to have her piture taken by Kelly because somehow the act of taking photographs could harm her. That Kelly merely operating a camera could harm her. No that is over the top.
Kelly was either drunk or on chemicals the night of the filming of her ‘break out’ on the Island. Her words were edited to provide us, the scavenger public, our weekly ration of road kill.
Much of what seemed random to us actually referred to converations she had previously had with members of the ‘loathsome 4 some’. Fankel admitted it. She said the ‘satchels of gold’ comment was from their conversation at a bar one night.
Sam Hill this blog is for entertainment purposes. Unlike Kelly who receives a paycheck for her role on the Housewives franchise I am not aware of anyone being paid for this site or blogger’s being asked to blog for monetary gain. Kelly obviously has issues you don’t have to be a genius to figure that out but she is NOT totally unaware of her surrounding’s or her actions. Her need to participate in this show is statement to her feeling of entitlement and need for the spotlight. This is not her first MERRY GO AROUND in the business of reality tv, fashion, and modeling. She no longer gets the contracts or can compete with today’s top models she probably felt grateful to have been asked to shoot Playboy. I wonder if Giles had not been shooting if she would have done the shoot…..somehow I don’t think so because appearances are very important to her and any other photographer would not have been good enough. If the other housewives are guilty of bullying then so is Kelly because I didn’t see her as naive in the slightest maybe off her rocker, drug and alcohol influenced but not naive.
Hopefully Bravo won’t ask her back but entertainment like that keeps rating peaked so I would not be surprised to see her back.
Maybe Giles will step in and give her some sound advice at least for the sake of his children. I believe she still loves him and would acceptable to his suggestions. Hopefully she is seeing someone professionally who can really help her.
Yes. I think Kelly has a case of arrested development. She has been a model since her teens. A cloistered world of make believe with rigorous work certainly, but the work is aimed soley at pleasing others with her charms if you will. Add to that a marriage to an older man, powerful in their respective industry, a job within the industry centered on her knowledge base not borne of academic rigor or accomplishement, two children and her life becomes smaller, less independant.
It is as if she has never had to deal with real world pressures independantly, she cannot handle conflict with any sort of clarity or maturity.
At any rate, she seems like a nice person who needs help with her cognitive abilities and emotional reactions.
I am doing a term paper on the Real Housewives series and the dubiuos rewards of violent communication. Any advice?
I was watching Kelly very closely at the third edition of the reunion and saw some signs of my cousin in her. Sadly my cousin has passed away but she was a drug addict. Some of Kelly’s behaviors and mannerisms were just like hers. I really truly think if she was to go to Season 4, Bravo needs to do a drug test and I mean this will all sincerity. Your diagnosis of her in this update is very well written. I for one, enjoy reading all of them. Thank You 🙂
I agree with you!! When I listened to her talk I kept thinking “That woman is a Meth addict”. I have unfortunately had a couple of friends have problems with Meth and their conversation patterns are like Kelly’s – disjointed. They think they are making sense, but they aren’t. But the Schizoaffective Disorder makes sense. Meth addicts (if I remember correctly) develop signs of Schizophrenia after prolonged usage… and really I think that’s what has happened to our girl Kelly. She has just fried what’s left of her poor brain up.
Yeah.. Bravo should pretty much take her off the air. It isn’t right watching her in action… I don’t know about the rest of you, but makes me feel dirty 😦
Meth use kills brain cells, which when they die are gone forever. The longer it’s used, the more dies. Long term addicts when their brains are scanned, actually have holes in the brain.
i said this over and over again…
‘a spoon full of medicine helps the sugar go down…’
gum gum berries and la lolly pops helps kelly, with her mood swings, from thoses confussing highs and rushing crashs coming too fast.
sonja let the cat out of the bag whenever she pointed out that she smelled cat pee in kellys’ room on the yacht. at first i thought sonja was being rude saying that about someone elses yacht that she didn’t even know. but she was smelling kelly tweeking her head off on meth.
kelly smells like a junky, tweeker, meth head, or plain old cat pee.
the way kelly is always twirling her hair, scratching at her head, twisting her legs up, the sugar rush noshing she brings on herself and that abnormal tone of her body.
she is sick, when she does try to talk, then repeats herself and then says she didn’t say things.
her mind is slipping as it is tripping.
whenever she said ‘the kelly train has left the station’ is just like train spotting, which is another term for a meth heads.
bravo and/or her ex. needs to get her tested…blood, urine and hair teasted.
but kelly is so out of it…
that she might think she would need to study for a drug test…
(o.m.g.)
You are saying she is using meth? She is so outspoken about a “healthful” life, not being healthy, but FULL of health. It’s a far leap to say she uses anything, let alone meth.
And meth uses become disgusting people to look at, with sores on their faces, arms and legs and what is called “meth mouth”. Does she look anywhere close to that?
I think people know someone with issues in their personal life, so they put those problems on Kelly, and say it with some kind of authority, but it really is just to justify their feelings about Kelly.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think for a second that Kelly is a drug addict. I don’t doubt for a minute that she suffers from mental illness, which sometimes may cause symptoms which (for the untrained eye) may resemble being on certain illegal substances. I have seen my share of mental illness and substance abuse through my work (as a cert. social worker) and also had a close relative suffer from a chronic paranoid psychosis. I tell you, her behavior was very much like Kelly’s. It would not surprise me one bit if she really suffers from a paranoid psychosis or shizoaffektive disorder – one of the disorders of that “class”. Of course none of us can be entirely sure from watching a person on a TV show, but she really shows some very telling signs…
One thing I know for sure, I really do not think it would be right if Bravo renews her contract with them. The situations with her during the infamous St Johns trip and the reunion show really shouldn’t have been used as entertainment, as it is really not right, I think (unethical). But, since those have been aired, they at least shouldn’t take the chance of it happening again (and risk that the pressure on her increases so much that it could cause real harm to her or others).
I really hope, for her and even more for her children’s sake, that somebody is making sure that she gets help. She herself is of course not able to understand that she needs professional help, so somebody else close to her has to do the job. I know first hand that these people may seem to function very well to people that do not get close enough, but nonetheless, they do suffer a lot and they also cause tremendous suffering amongst people close to them (their children the most if they live with her, since they have to deal with their mother in constant conflicts with others and also have to relate to their thought processes that makes no sense – which no child or adolescent has any basis for understanding how to relate to. They often end out having to constantly try to convince their mom that nothing harmful is happening to them, that people do not mean to be bad to them etc., not a job for kids!).
Lets hope that somebody makes sure she gets the help she needs. She is still quite young and shouldn’t have to deal with all the pain such a condition causes. Luckily, today there is help out there that really makes a differenceand they can learn to understand why they misunderstood things in the past etc.
You are spot on!
Totally agree!
Do you think she does any illegal drugs to self medicate?
I do think it is a possibility, people with this disorder do often have substance abuse problems as well.
In response to angelofdevs comment “I don’t have to list the particulars but she appears to have never matured beyond the age of 16.” (The word “appears” is evidance that this is your perception of REALITY. The word “NEVER” is evidance of a cognitive distortion, All or nothing thinking patterns are based on perfectionism.Absolutes don’t exist in the real world. They do exist in the world of trauma survivors who lived through the experience of coming close to being absolutely dead.) What makes you think that Kelly never matured beyond the age of 16? Psycho- therapists have perceived that trauma survivors get stuck emotionally at the age they were when they were first traumatized. That is not in fact a logical conclusion to jump to. There is no credible evidance to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that trauma survivors get stuck emotionally at the age of the trauma. That would mean that my 61 year old husband is still emotionally stuck at the age of eighteen when he served during the Tet offensive in Vietnam. Believing that theory is a perceptional error. Kelly is a mother of two children and as such is extremely responsible and competant at rearing her children. (Unlike Alex who perceives she can write a book about child rearing while her eldest child has a short attention span and still talks baby talk while running around undisciplined.) Sixteen year olds are not generally as responsible and mature as Kelly is when raising her children.
Angelofdevs also stated “She seems so insecure that she really doesn’t have a personality of her own.” Is that a rational or logical conclusion to jump to? What makes you think that Kelly does not in fact have a personality of her own?
“She tends to mimic others behavior to fit in.” What makes you think she mimics others behaviors to fit in? I have not found any evidance of this type of behavior. Can you please site some examples?
From reading your posts angelofdevs, I am wondering at what age were you when you where first traumatized?
“She needs counseling. I hope someone will step in and help her.”
I would really like to know more about Kelly’s childhood or information about her parents. Since some of these disorders are hereditary. I don’t believe that a dramatic incident as a child(1979) would cause her later in life to have schizo-affective disorder but could cause other disorders like post traumatic stress disorder. which you could also say Kelly shows symptoms of. Example, sleep problems, trouble concentrating, irritability, anger, poor concentration, blackouts or difficulty remembering things, increased tendency and reaction to being startled, and hyper-vigilance to threat. Basically we cannot make any diagnosis without having all the facts. The most important information for any diagnosis whether its physical or mental is, History. The person(s) back round history is vital when making any judgements or diagnosis, without it we can all be labeled by others with many of the same disorders by judging a couple of snippets of our lives. I am sure many of us have had meltdowns of some sorts, that luckily is not captured on camera and replayed for everyone to judge, but without knowing the history of: A. the reason for the meltdown or B. prior history of the person(s) back round, we could all be mistakenly labeled as having a mental disorder. Now with that said, I do believe that Kelly probably as some emotional issues and being on T.v. is probably not the best idea for her. But I do not believe she walks around in her every day life displaying the same actions we have witnessed on a reality T.V. show. I’m sure if she did someone would have stepped in long ago. Any how I did enjoy reading yours and everyone else’s blogs and cannot wait for next season.
Kellly is a twin. I was wondering if something happened during the birth process. I have known a twin who had problems with oxygen during the delivery. Some of Kelly’s symptoms seems to be the same as that twin.
Kelly said her dad was a lawyer.
Which day was that? She could very well change her mind about that on any other given day. As she stated, it is ‘ok’ for her to do so. One day she thinks one thing, the next day she may feel something different [reference her PETA views on the Reunion show.]
While she feels it is ok for her to be ever ‘evolving’ and able to change her perspective from day to day, in the next sentence she said that other housewives were dangerous because she never knew from day to day what they were thinking.
Excellent points!
Skinnykiss said: “I’m sure if she did someone would have stepped in long ago.”
No, not necessarily. Not at all! The problem is that many with such disorders (as suggested here) may function pretty well in their daily lives, and the problems they think they have with others, may actually be something that realistically may happen (e.g. thinking they are “being bullied by cast members” instead of “being poisoned by cast members by an invisible and tasteless gas administered through the wires of the door bell” where ). When it is like that, people react to the delusions with sympathy, patience and support since person is going through something horrible rather than them thinking “something is very wrong” and maybe contacting family members or others close to the person to air their serious concern for their mental health. If e.g. a doctor is onto the truth, such people have a tendency to fall out with them, and quite quickly change to another which they think will see the truth (that they are mentally sane, but is going through horrible experiences). And so on and so on… Oftentimes they are able to fool a doctor into believing that they are just stressed out because of hardships in their life and even if they may be prescribed some medication, it is not the neuroleptica/anti-psychotic they need (maybe they get some Xanax for the stress/anxiety the “situation” causes rather than an anti-psychotic to remove the “situation”).
And, they are often not considered by professionals as of any danger to others around them or as a danger to themselves, so there is not any (legal) reason for admitting them against their will (IMHO a position which may simply be coward- and weakness by the MD, because they don’t want the stress of the conflict that surely will arise when the person finds out that the MD is labelling them mentally ill and possibly forces them to hospital – something that is understandable, also because being admitted may be stigmatizing to the patient). When others like try to suggest that they have mental illness, they fall out with them (friendships fall apart, family members get estranged) and many don’t dear try to really pursue suggesting that they are sick and need help, as they already have seen how much problems “stroking them against the hair” may cause, since they may go into loud and long conflicts, continuing arguing in person and on the phone (at all times, maybe, e.g. 20-30 calls/day) etc. Amongst many they meet, they are soon seen as “difficult” and someone they easily will end out in conflicts with, so many people only keep superficial relationships with them, seeing them as “odd”, “a bit crazy” or something like that. Others end out feeling bad for them (maybe believing stories they tell about their “horrible experiences”) and somehow manage to retain a peaceful and patient relationship with them (but often wonder a bit about their stories, why so many are horrible to the person etc). If the person in general is quite outgoing, they may meet and get new “friends” in different environments regularly, and so they can keep going for years and years without ever getting the help they actually need. And, lets not forget, even if a person has such an illness, they may have many positive sides too, which makes it possible to get new friends and keep some old ones… And, if the person e.g. can add some sort of fame to their “traits”, that of course may play quite a role in the person’s ability to both meet/get friends and get relationships with boyfriends/girlfriends – but for many, they won’t last all that long (because the other can’t take it for long, it can be bad even if nobody else knows what’s going on behind the walls of the home), but sometimes they can. My relative was married for 25 years before he couldn’t take it anymore. He told that he was about to break it off during the first year, but she got pregnant, and he did the right thing, married her. Then things happened, three kids made him stay until he one day couldn’t help himself any more, she drove him over the edge after fighting all afternoon and all the time through the night until the next morning and then he for the first time in his life lost control over himself and hit a woman, his wife. That day he left for good and from that day everybody was told that he was an abusive man and that his violence was the cause for the divorce. So many believed it, but it couldn’t be further from the truth, but such a person can literally drive a person over the edge, as they can keep going with accusations etc. night and day, and nobody can stop them, even if they beg and beg… Having experienced first hand how a person can act when paranoid/delusional, I am not in doubt that there are some sad stories out there, where otherwise sane and good people have been driven to commit crimes (e.g. manslaughter or assault) because of another person with such an illness driving them to wits end because of symptoms of their illness. Another good reason for making sure these people get help.
My relative (with a chronic paranoid psychosis) died at 70. She finally got real help 5 years earlier, despite having a family that tried to get help for her (finally she got a gutsy doctor that really understood, and who was able to gain her respect at the same time as he was willing to, and did, go to her house and gave her an ultimatum: “Either you accept that I know best and accept that you are ill in a way that you are not able to see yourself, and you accept to start the treatment I see necessary OR the ambulance waiting outside will take you against your will to the hospital where you will be admitted against your will right now.”). Not long after, we all got a phone call where she admitted for the first time in her life that she was ill and needed, and got, help. She would still argue when we, as agreed upon with her initially, told her that she obviously was entering a bad period (as she had no insight in it herself), but she would finally give in and agree to go to talk to her doctor (usually she needed a medication dosage adjustment). She never found out that us relatives had talked to the doctor (this time), as for the first time she had a doctor who recognized that if he wrote about us in her file, she would find out when she looked there (which she of course did regularly, as she did not really trust anybody). He had the brain to figure out that he could write the info in anyway, he just made separate files on us (who weren’t his patients, but we still had our own patient files), and that she of course had no legal right to see. We had tried to help her by talking to her doctors in the past, but she would find out and all hell broke loose for a long, long time (months to years), as nobody can hold a grudge like a person with such illness, who think that all kinds of people are being mean to them (not necessarily that they will kill them or poison them, most of the time it may be things that do happen and do not sound as “crazy”. It’s easier to see the obviously illness in the delusions of a person paranoid shizofrenia than in other types of paranoia). In most cases the person will see their delusions in new light when medications pull them out of the psychosis. But my relative could not ever let go of her delusions, they had simply been there so long and seemed to be “cemented” into her mind. What the medication did do though, was to even out her emotional state (stop it from going up and down constantly, to stop all the outbursts and constant conflicts/fighting with others) and to prevent new delusions and hallucinations from forming. For those closest to her it was possible to be around more and to find some positive things to do together with her, in PEACE (instead of having to limit contact to protect themselves from constant hurt from accusations etc.). That brave doctor (a GP) sure made a huge difference and allowed the end of her life to be so much better, not only for her, but for the whole family – which no doubt made a peaceful closure to a decades long nightmare, possible for the family members. I hope that the future will hold a lot more MD’s of his type, as it will make such a huge difference for so many loved ones. It is tough with a family member with such a diagnosis and it does leave emotional scars on those involved, and it shouldn’t have to go untreated for decades, for the sake of all involved!
Hope I made it easier for you, and maybe somebody else, to understand how a person like this can go decades without any real help, even if they do have a SERIOUS mental illness… 🙂
I think it is disgusting that Bravo continues to use Kelly as a vehicle of entertainment when clearly she has issues that are not entertaining at all.
DITTO. I think it is appalling that they would allow her and Danielle to continue on this television show. It is inappropriate and dangerous – both to the other women and to the ladies themselves. Furthermore it is reinforcing their dangerous and negative behaviors as condoned and appropriate instead of what they are – frightening and unhealthy. If they continue with Danielle and Kelly on the shows I will definitely not be wathing. I wish we could start a petition to remove those VERY SCARY women from the shows which are supposed to be enjoyable and entertaining NOT TLC Intervention.
I know in these situations people need to help themselves and Bravo cannot ‘force’ KKB and Danielle to accept therapy or rehab or whatever services they may need, but they should not support these behaviors by promoting them on TV. It really is disturbing…
I agree with you whole-heartedly. If they continue to use Kelly or Danielle I will stop watching. I am already considering turning the tv off to the Housewives franchise because of the DC housewife that crashed a State Dinner.
Anywho, it is wrong of Bravo to continue to use them on the shows when they are clearly in need of help. Kelly and Danielle are not well. Kelly had a nervous breakdown on the show and they still used the footage. The ethical thing to do would have been to show Kelly the footage and encourage her to get help. Not show the footage and make her relive the breakdown for entertainment purposes. Danielle is a danger to the other women on the New Jersey show. She is hanging out with convicted felons and encouraging them to start trouble.
When will bravo yank these people? When Danielle winds up dead because she pissed the wrong person off. Or will they stop shooting footage of Kelly when she checks-in to the psych ward? At universities and other research facilities they have to brief people about the harms that might occur when participating in a study. Sometimes the study does not go forward because the Internal Review Board (Human Subjects Research Board) does not approve of the study because the harm it causes outweighs the benefits provided by the study. Maybe bravo should take a hint and pull the plug on the unstable participants before something really bad happens.
Holy crap, I think the DSM IV should post her picture next to the disorder and ditch the rest of the explanation…wow, sounds spot on from what we know anyway…she is scary “nutso”, not entertaining, just disturbing—especially considering that she still obviously doesn’t see what the rest of the world is…How is it she can continue to raise those daughters and no body at their school or in their family is seeing this freaky stuff and raising any issues with it? Weird, no?
Don’t mean to jump on you, but we can all need a reminder (me too!)! Kelly is not “nutso”, “crazy”, “bonkers” or any such negative “name” like that. She is mentally ill/shows signs of mental illness. We should all decide to stop calling sick people names, labelling them in such a negative way, and remind each other when we forget – it is really not a nice or right thing to do… If mental illnesses ever should be considered the way they should, as any other illness, we need to stop using such terms. I mean, who would ever label a cancer patient, calling them names because they are ill? All of us would think it was absurd and horrible if somebody did such a thing, and we should think the same when it comes to people with mental illness!
Just a little reminder, I think we all need it! 🙂
I read one person’s assessment that talking to Kelly is like talking to a kaleidoscope. I think your assessment is more accurate. I don’t believe she abuses narcotics … that would make her behavior sensible (in an odd way). I am more concerned for the effects of her behavior on her children and their sense of normal.
You should know I just posted a link to this blog on Twitter and Kelly Bensimon HERSELF responded to my tweets with what I consider to be proof of your diagnosis. In the name of full disclosure, here is what just transpired:
I posted – We have a name for what is wrong w/ @kikilet – schizoaffective disorder http://bit.ly/bWOWP8 let’s hope she gets help for her kids #RHONY
She posted – @annbransom ah? No. Its called bored with filming with fake “reality stars,” ahh hello. Are we not watching the same show!
I posted – @kikilet I believe you truly believe the things that you say. Get some help. It can’t hurt and maybe you’ll prove everyone wrong. Good luck!
She posted – @annbransom I am officially bored discussing what u watch on tv.
I can’t believe I just had this convo. And I do agree with other’s opinions about the drug use. I obviously am not in a position to know what she is or is not taking, but she certainly exhibits some personality traits I have seen before. And why on earth would she engage with a random person on twitter (i.e. ME)? Yikes!!!! Thoughts?
Been there (exchanged tweets), done that (wondered ‘WTH?’), remain confused.
I had a bizarre run in with her on Twitter too. While watching Kelly do her post-Scary Island damage control, I tweeted:
“Understanding @kikilet exercise spin control is like doing Wonder Woman spins & trying to build a rocket afterwards. #RHoNY”
She replied with “@lexistential LOL.”
She totally, totally missed what I was saying.
No matter what Kelly says now it will be called incoherent/crazy. Frankly, I do think she’s bored with these women because all they do is gossip and attack each other. I hope Bethenny, Jill and Sonja don’t come back. I would rather see women who are educated and doing interesting things in the city.
Just reading what she wrote makes my head spin! You’re really brave to engage Krazy Kelley. And I agree with Angel, that after watching the reunion and hearing different things she’s saying in the media, Kelley has an even more severe mental illness than we originally thought.
Karen, REALLY!? ‘no matter what Kelly says’, it will be interpreted as incoherent, etc.? Do you really think people are hating Kelly for no reason whatsoever; have you watched the shows? Did you not view what the rest of the world viewed and continues to view, via twitter, facebook and youtube (oh, that awful, phony psa on bullying–if that doesn’t tell you the truth about her, you’re a lost cause)? If Kelly spoke one intelligent, literate and properly-structured thought, people would gladly give her a break–after all, we like to root for the underdog; that said, this woman is certifiable! And, you are apparently, falling for her hype…sooo, it’s ‘the entire world is wrong, and Kelly is right’? The fact that Kelly (and, Jill) respond to negative comments made about them should also be a clue into what ego-maniacal, self-absorbed women they really are. It’s all entertaining, yet very, very scary at the same time…
What is very interesting is that the women who “hate” her, hate her because she has a mental illness. It doesn’t make sense. I think it is simply a way to insult someone you don’t like, but don’t want to address the real reasons you dislike them.
Some say Meth…the cat pee smell, etc. But I’ve also read that Meth users have sores on their skin from scratching, as Meth causes intense itching, and also rotten teeth (but maybe that’s yet to come from all the sugar she eats—or those are veneers on her teeth so they won’t show rotting!) We don’t see any sores on the face with Kelly—not yet anyway. Bottom line, what ever it is, she is both frightening and freakishly fascinating. I’ve also noticed that she cannot discuss sex like a normal adult woman—especially oine who has had children. I suspect something happened with her sexually, oh, I’d say around 1979, when she was about 10….and she’s been disasociating ever since….maybe her molester said “It’s OK to be free, you and me.” She is telling us something with those words…it’s all there waiting for a good shrink to dig into.
Free to Be… You and Me, a project of the Ms. Foundation for Women, is a record album, ABC Afterschool Special, and illustrated book first released in November 1972, featuring songs and stories from celebrities (credited as “Marlo Thomas and Friends”). Using poetry, songs, and sketches, the basic concept was to salute values such as individuality, tolerance, and happiness with one’s identity; a major thematic message is that anyone, whether a boy or a girl, can achieve anything one wants.
The album has become a cult classic across the United States amongst many who were children in the 1970s.[citation needed]
Maxine49, I could be wrong, but I think, for whatever reason, she is refering to this book written in th 70’s. I also think she is immature about talking about sex openly just because she seems to have not emotionally matured past a certain point in her life. Did you say “freakishly fascinating” or did someone else, anyway, yes, indeed, she is. I’ve been reading her “tweets” and I wonder when she actually has any quality time to herself and to spend with her children. I don’t “tweet”, so maybe I just don’t get it completely though.
ANN: Quit harassing people on Twitter; then when they complain, posting what they say.
That is displaying the personality flaws relating to crossing boundaries, control of others, anger directed at your victims when they don’t accept your control.
You act as if you are Narcissistic.
SamHill – I think that we have more than covered the context of people’s interactions with Kelly on Twitter, including my own. We’ve also covered the glaring hypocrisy and self righteousness of those, such as yourself, who would criticize others for discussing a reality show on Twitter, a blog, or any other form of social media. So beyond directing you to read through ALL the comments before offering your own, I’ll choose not to dignify your name calling and COVERT narcissism with any more of a response.
Ann, I am so sorry I did not see this earlier. Sam, it was bad enough when you were attacking me but I am not a fan of people who attackother posters, disagreeing is fine but you really lack respect. Buh bye.
You don’t actually know this woman, so to tweet her that she has a mental illness and you are concerned for her children’s welfare is beyond rude and completely oversteps any boundaries.
She’s done absolutely nothing to you nor your loved ones, yet you are attacking her. It isn’t some innocuous blog or article you are responding to, you are addressing things to her actual twitter account. It is intentional and intentionally hurtful.
Only problem with your tweets with “kikilet”, is that “kikilet” is a guy named Chris who has a parody twitter account, not Kelly K. Bensimon. Her twitter is “kkbensimon”. So if you interacted with kikilet and got those answers from kikilet, it was NOT Kelly who answered you in person, but this guy Chris, and the answer is meant to be a parody on what Kelly would have said… Just thought it should be said, even if it is a long time since you posted about it (maybe you have e-mail updates?)…
I think the kindest thing for everyone to do would be to leave this poor woman alone. I have seen her diagnosed with many different problems including Asperger’s Syndrome. Obviously everyone thinks she is crazy with a capital “C.” If that is true. the best thing to do is leave her alone, and hope her family gets her help. I am not criticizing this blog, there are a lot of blogs out there calling her all kinds of names. If she is not able to give knowing consent to appear on RHONY, and Bravo wants to continue to exploit her problems, the least we can do is not participate.
You’re definitely correct in that the very issues we are discussing are reasons to leave her alone. And it’s easy to believe we’re kicking a crash test dummy. But, as long as she keeps placing herself in the public eye to court “celebrity” and “status” (which she will, because her identity as a model and Gilles Bensimon’s ex-wife are her bread and butter), she’s going to likewise court this kind of reaction because she *doesn’t* edit herself and doesn’t *believe* anything is wrong with her.
We would be kind in not saying anything, but the Empress would just then do cartwheels naked, and someone else would say something.
My perception of Kelly is that she does not have the mental ability to give knowing consent to remaining on the RHONY. Of course she can sign a contract and waivers, but she does not appreciate the damage she does by allowing Bravo to exploit her for entertainment purposes. She cannot seem to appreciate that she is not functioning on the show vis a vis her relationship to the other wives. For instance one of them revealed that Kelly was asked to leave the scary island, and was accompanied by a Bravo producer. The fact that she did not of her own volition realize (for whatever reason, be it angel’s diagnosis or asperger’s or any other mental reason) that she needed to remove herself from the situation because it had gotten completely out of hand for her, leads me to believe she really cannot form the requisite consent to appear on the show. To rub her nose in her failings seems cruel and inhuman no matter whether she annoys us or is an “empress doing cartwheels” to our chagrin. Those who are mentally ill or suffer from a condition such as autism are not put on earth for our scorn, derision, or entertainment. It is not for us to put them in their places by ridiculing them.
Amy- though we on this site collectively agree that KKB needs some nurturing therapy of some kind, I respectfully disagree with you about whether or not she can sign a release form on her own. She seems to function well enough in day-to-day situations and in handling her modeling career. While we have instances of bizarre behavior that has never been seen on this show, we don’t have enough definitive proof to say that KKB cannot handle her own consent forms. KKB displays emotional imbalance, but not the kind that warranted (for example) Britney Spears’ father to come and establish a conservatorship over her.
I don’t believe we are being purposely cruel, derisive, or inhumane for discussing what kind of emotional imbalance she has; if anything, though we’re not being “nice”, I think we are trying to solve her condition and make sense of her. Maybe to discuss her emotional condition is in questionable taste, but I am not indulging malice or “rubbing her nose in her failings” by wondering if she has Asperger’s or in saying that she acts like a little girl.
Didn’t you note above that you had a run-in with Kelly on twitter? I don’t think that is just discussing her on this board in an impersonal fashion. I think engaging her like that is cruel, given her mental and emotional problems. It is an extension of the entertainemnt value of the show for you, but it contributes to her suffering.
I am not calling you out alone for this, there are many many people who are doing what you are doing. I just think falls under the definition of casual cruelty. Casual entertainment for you, and cruel for Kelly.
Amy-
Yes, I noted my run-in with Kelly on Twitter- with wit, my words expressed that attempting to understand her version of spin control was an exercise in futility. My words were sharp, but she certainly didn’t suffer *because she didn’t get it.* It was an experience where she didn’t comprehend me, so I doubt I’m personally responsible for any “cruel” suffering. But- even if she had understood that I was criticizing her actions- I consider it an exchange of opinion, not a deliberate insult.
I think we know “cruel” is a subjective term. In the interest of avoiding an unnecessary 12-round discussion, it’s best that we agree to *disagree*. We have differing opinions; how you and I perceive “cruel” is not worth nitpicking to death.
But, as far as anything “cruel” KKB is truly “suffering”, she’s getting what she set herself up for. She signed the Bravo contract and behaved as she did in St. John. Contrary to people thinking she’s cooler or believing her spin, people are questioning her or saying she’s nuts. The Twitter comments/the blogs buzzing are examples of people *reacting* openly and honestly to her. Some are polite in expressing it, others aren’t. KKB probably isn’t happy to know the full range of opinions about her, but what people say about her is the direct result of her own actions, and she brought them on herself.
**Angelofdevs, I accidentally posted this elsewhere (nearby), sorry for a double-post but want this to stay in appropriate discussion thread. Is there a way to delete the prior one? Thanks!
I actually think she’s crazy with a little ‘c’ but I have a high crazy tolerance. She’s not malevolently crazy, she’s like that lady at the park or the aunt discussed in hushed tones crazy. A nice kind of crazy that used to be called eccentric.
Unfortunately this is all too often the reaction of people when confronted with someone mentally ill. Colleagues, associates, acquaintances, neighbors, friends, and family, all of Society, really, turn away figuring the “best thing” is to just leave the ill person alone and hope loved ones (who are just as confused, scared, intimidated as anyone) intervene.
I contend that this is, in fact, the “worst” thing that can be, and is done, to the mentally ill. Although I agree we should not exploit her illness for entertainment, if people, even strangers, stop trying to make her realize that she needs and can receive help, the consequences could be dire for her and her children. This quite literally is a life and death situation.
I commend those who tried to reach out to KKB on Twitter and elsewhere. I do not believe she should be asked back to RHONY (unless she is ready to accept her illness), but I sincerely hope we, as a Society, do not turn our backs on her. We can’t keep hoping someone else will take care of the most needy amongst us, while we avert our eyes. Help stop the stigma of mental illness, please don’t turn your back on these people in need.
I was thinking something similar just now. I bet there’s nobody in her life who’s willing to intervene, harshly if necessary, in her self-destruction. I’m not at all surprised she’s divorced…
Well I disagree that it is for any of us who do not know her to chide her or advise her that she is crazy and needs help, be it on twitter or a blog. This type of advice is for those who have the ability to interact with her on other than a fan of the show basis. Otherwise it seems to me that engaging her like this is just an extension of the entertainment derived from the show. That is just not appropriate. She is not a sideshow, she is a human being, and appears to be one with some real problems that should be solved with her family and friends. For Bravo to continue to film her and hold her up for public ridicule is unconscionable. If the audience wants to do any real good Bravo should be the one receiving our comments, not poor Kelly.
Zip it, Amy…you’ve dropped you satchels of gold on us…now, please just zip it.
Yes, I noted my run-in with Kelly on Twitter- with wit, my words expressed that attempting to understand her version of spin control was an exercise in futility. My words were sharp, but she certainly didn’t suffer *because she didn’t get it.* It was an experience where she didn’t comprehend me, so I doubt I’m personally responsible for any “cruel” suffering. But- even if she had understood me- I consider it an exchange of opinion.
I think we know “cruel” is a subjective term. In the interest of avoiding an unnecessary 12-round discussion, it’s best that we agree to *disagree*. We have differing opinions; how you and I perceive “cruel” is not worth nitpicking to death.
But, as far as anything “cruel” KKB is truly “suffering”, she’s getting what she set herself up for. She signed the Bravo contract and behaved as she did in St. John. Contrary to people thinking she’s cooler or believing her spin, people are questioning her or saying she’s nuts. The Twitter comments/the blogs buzzing are examples of people *reacting* openly and honestly to her. Some are polite in expressing it, others aren’t. KKB probably isn’t happy to know the full range of opinions about her, but what people say about her is the direct result of her own actions, and she brought them on herself.
No. I don’t think you get off that easily. Cruel is not subjective. You have stated that she is crazy, you have stated that you have interacted with her, and that she didn’t get your derrogatory remark. The remark was not especially cryptic or clever so the fact that she didn’t get it speaks for itself. I would try to give an analogy so that you could see your actions more clearly, but I think you enjoy the Kelly bash too much. This is true entertainment for you. That would be fine if she was one of the other wives, who really do knowingly open themselves up for ridicule. But here is someone who really looks like she needs professional help. I think angel is right, she has some serious mental problem. That is not the wife to harass and denigrate with the alacrity in which you are engaging.
Amy – I find your comments at best over zealously protective and defensive and at worst self righteous and condescending. First of all, I hardly think that Lex or I “engaged” Kelly Bensimon on Twitter. We used her twitter handle in a post so that others following our tweets or in my case the hashtag #RHONY would be able to read our comments and know to whom we were referring. I can’t speak for Lex, but I for one did not in a million years believe that Ms. Bensimon would take the time to read my tweet or see fit to respond to it. This is a “celebrity” of sorts we are talking about and she is inundated by mentions on twitter constantly. What reasonable person would believe that tweeting about a celebrity would actually result in an interaction with said celebrity?
Furthermore, we have no idea if her “LOL” response to Lex’s tweet meant that she did not understand Lex’s joke. Perhaps she got the joke and was “laughing out loud” because she found it ridiculous. Her response to me was certainly to write off my remarks as absurd, accuse me of “not watching the same show”, and then essentially insult me by calling me boring and moving on. After she responded to my initial tweet linking to this blog article, nothing I said to her was harsh, cruel, contained foul language, or any other “casual cruelty” that you might refer to. I acknowledged that I did not believe she was lying, but that her perceptions were real. I encouraged her to get help and even admitted that we might all be wrong. Then I wished her luck. I can’t imagine how I could have reacted more politely or honestly than I did.
Finally, this idea that discussing a personality on a television show is comparable to picking on a child with autism is beyond absurd. Kelly Bensimon went to Columbia, is editor at large for Hamptons Magazine and Gotham, and is incredibly active in the New York social scene which has to be more intense than any random tweet she might receive from an anonymous web developer in KY. She is a pretty high functioning mentally ill person if indeed she is.
I live my life without the benefit of a PR team, nannies, personal chefs, house keepers, and an ex husband whose name opens doors for me professionally. I work hard nine hours a day, come home and feed my family and clean my house, and when the kids are in bed I watch TV. And when I have time, I like to discuss what I watched TV. It’s called buzz, which generates ratings, which attracts advertisers, which pays for Ms. Bensimon’s lifestyle and any therapy bills she might incur from us deigning to discuss her mental stability after seeing her behavior on TV on a blog she will never read or take seriously. I will not apologize for that.
Very good points indeed Ann.
Wow, Amy. I was trying to be polite, but you’re determined to paint me- and others- cruel.
In turn, I think you have a really, really misplaced sense of overly empathizing with KKB and are taking things far more personally than she probably does. Who are you to say she’s suffering or call me cruel? Who elected you KKB’s designated protector and/or wannabe best friend? What makes your definitions more morally correct or more valid than other people’s? Nothing does.
I understand your tone pretty well, and lest you say we’re totally engaging in systematic bullying, I’m going to say that we’re engaging in DEBATE. But you’re rapidly making this a very, very personal issue and claiming that our characters our flawed. I- like Ann- have no apologies to make because you feel like a wounded bird and we’re being mean to poor Kelly. (Why are you so looking at “poor Kelly?” as an ultimate weak victim, anyway? Why don’t you see her as a culpable who has to be accountable for her behavior?)
At the end of the day, KKB is who she is in the eyes of everyones’ opinion from the disturbing, bizarre episodes she displayed on RHONY. I have no need to defend my stance any further than I have with you.
Oh, and no- I did not deliberately seek to engage KKB out on Twitter. I used her handle for the same reasons I use hashtags. Because she’s a celebrity, I never thought that she would actually respond to my remark. I was surprised when she did, and then in noticing that she didn’t get it.
And, frankly when it comes to my- or other’s- remarks. I think she didn’t get it. On the reunion, her comprehension was limited and subjective to whether she felt like paying attention! She doesn’t follow thoughts to completion, so the full meaning of many things are basically lost on her.
I was thinking tourettes.
joining in late here, but I do believe that Kelly refers to anything she doesn’t understand or like as “cruel” or “bullying”…I think Amy is definitely a little misguided in her attempts to defend Kelly—I’m sure you are well meaning in that defense, but frankly, people have obviously reached out to help her off screen (not everyone has their boss, or her producer, escort them out of something because they have become to incapacitated to deal with it) and I doubt she would broadcast that anyone has tried to help her since she can’t acknowledge that anything is worng with her–and those that have probably won’t broadcast it out of genuine concern for her ( I don’t know that there have been any, but I would assume that this didn’t go over well at Bravo/NBC or with any actual friends and family who may really care about her) and yet, she continues to self promote something that is clearly distorted and delusional in her own mind–we have seen what happened (at least partially) and heard how SHE sees it and honestly, the two don’t compute–they aren’t even close…she is so inappropriately angry and “wounded” as well as antagonistic and occasionally smiling and laughing when you would totally expect the opposite (re-watch the reunion special where they are discussing her “breakdown/breakthrough) and she is often smiling or flat out giggling) that trying to reconcile these things in our minds lends itself to discussion–and there is nothing cruel or bullying about that. And if she is going to try to portray herself as above and beyond all of this, while still using it to bash and berate OTHER people, than I say all is fair game in that arena. I do think Bravo should yank her off the air—it’s not entertaining to watch mental illness or drug addiction or both–her eccentricities were annoying to some and humorous to others last year, but this season is definitely a different kind of animal…
Leave her alone?…She does not want to be left alone. A few friends and I were talking about her the other day and we all agreed that Bravo and any other media or publication should not give Kelly anymore press until it is about her seeking the help she obviously needs, I mean to let her continue to rant and rave, contridict and yes, plain out lie is down right unethical in our view. I know there is money to be made with this type of “entertainment”,but this type of t.v. is just like a train wreck , it’s sad but you just can’t turn away. in saying that it does not mean it is right. What are we teaching our kids?, that exploitation is right and justified if you make money?, I think its wrong and I know others agree and I think its time to make people like this leave reality shows. I also think that with all the reality shows out there that producers should give psyche evals and drug tests!
I love this forum and the insights into the RH possible mental health issues. In regard to Kelly: more than any personality disorder, I believe that a much more plausible and realistic appraisal of her behavior is drug abuse. Kelly acts like a cocaine user – paranoid, non-sensical and disjointed in both her thinking and behavior. She is completely ego-centric and seems to lack the ability to accurately remember events as they happened and also seems not have the capacity to understand her own behavior. This makes it easy for her to play the victim and blame others for the fallout when confronted. I thought it was interesting that she claimed that she was forced to join the women for the weekend, yet had to be escorted by a producer back to NY before the weekend ended due to her bizarre conduct, seemingly against her will. In an case, she is obviously very mentally unstable and Bravo should remove her from the program. It is clear that her judgment is impaired and this makes – at least for me – uncomfortable viewing. There is nothing amusing or entertaining about her conduct.
I really don’t get a cocaine vibe from her at all. If there’s any substance abuse I’d say it’s too many benzodiazepines (e.g., Klonapin, Xanax). She seems to really go off the rails when she has a glass or 2 of wine which, on top of a few benzos, can cause that kind of delusional behavior. I’ve also noticed that she eats jelly beans, probably to stave off wanting to drink wine which she probably knows makes her meds go haywire. Anyway, that’s my sense.
Kelly Bensimon isn’t comfortable in the role of one of the housewives, and she may have personality traits that make her inaccessible or simply unappealing to many viewers, including you. But your characterization of her is recklessly malicious, and not very perceptive.
Take the much-criticized PETA comments. Bethenny, her adversary from the very first scene Kelly filmed (“Evidently, Madonna”) poses for PETA. Kelly wears fur. Reporters looking for a soundbite ask Kelly to explain this in view of PETA’s position. Kelly, who obviously doesn’t agree with PETA’s fur policy, doesn’t owe PETA supporters an explanation: PETA isn’t her cause. But, not wanting to add fuel to the Kelly-Bethenny wars, she deflects questions in a vague way. That isn’t a psychological disorder. It’s the kind of thing you do when you don’t want to say something quotable.
It’s exactly what people do to avoid being drawn into neighborhood gossip. It is something you learn how to do in some settings; the most popular women at the private school our children attended all made these serene non-statements rather than comment on rumors. “Oh, isn’t that…well. I just love her. And I have always simply adored him. And I just hope… do you remember how clever that centerpiece was, of course you do, I hope she has a lovely Christmas.” That isn’t delusional or irrational – it’s refusing to engage an obvious troublemaker. Kelly’s comments on PETA are deliberately, elaborately, skillfully refusing to engage reporters in the Bethenny wars.
If you observed her more carefully, you might understand her better. She has navigated her way through New York’s fashion, modeling, publishing and art scene for 26 years quite successfully. She has managed to survive in these very competitive circles, and you might try to figure out how. It would be a more complicated essay to write, and you would have to abandon your reliance on your undergraduate degree. But it would be an infinitely more nuanced and interesting undertaking.
So Kelly, who is associated with fashion and considers several fashion designers close friends, refuses to jump on the bandwagon: she isn’t going to embrace PETA. Neither is she going to fight with Bethenny. She’s going to wear fur because she knows what’s coming: Fall-Winter 2010 is all about fur. Ralph Rucci, Michael Kors, and everything in between showed a lot of fur, she is with the industry, and rather than talk about it, she’s going to wear it.
I hope you are aware that your reply makes little sense. The PETA triple-speak was one of the numerous examples of Kelly having little or no grip on what she said and when she said it.
What about it doesn’t make sense? Kelly ducks the PETA question in order to 1) avoid appearing to challenge Bethenny’s pro-PETA work, and 2) to avoid alienating viewers who support PETA. But Kelly doesn’t support PETA, at least not in its very public anti-fur position. Kelly is a fashion-oriented, designer-oriented person who wears fur. She doesn’t want to argue about it, and she doesn’t intend to stop wearing it. So she says something nice about PETA, says something about loving animals – she loves horses and dogs, and she probably supports PETA’s work in ways that don’t touch upon fur – and refuses to agree that wearing fur is wrong.
Sure – she could solve the problem by not wearing fur. But she, like many women, including me, likes to wear fur. So if that solution is out, what can she say that makes you happy without getting into a debate with Bethenny?
Hey Rachel,
Know how those animals are killed to make that fur? They electrocute in their anuses so the fur isn’t disturbed! It’s a long and agonizing process taking hours for them to die!
So when Kors or anyone is showing fur, and anyone is wearing it, you have tortured small, innocent animals. BTW, some of these ‘celebrities’ are wearing domestic DOG & CAT FUR without even knowing it!
Stop front for Kelly, she is insane and you are enabling her
Andrea,
These are separate issues. The topic of this discussion is whether Kelly has a disordered mind or personality, and whether her answers to questions about PETA are incoherent i.e. unintelligible. Your comment is on the ethics of wearing fur. That is an important topic, but unless you are saying that wearing fur is evidence of a major thinking or psychological defect, it is not a response to my post.
Wearing fur is controversial for all the reasons you list. But I do not believe it is evidence of a major disorder. Michael Kors, Jean Paul Gaultier, Ralph Rucci and many others are using a lot of fur in their fall-winter collections. You won’t be buying those designers, and I respect that decision. But I don’t think you’d call the designers insane or deranged. My post was a comment on the way she answered questions about fur. Unless everyone associated with fur is deranged in your eyes, it is unfair to single her out on that issue. (And if Michael Kors et al are deranged, you have to get busy blogging, because nobody seems to have heard.)
I agree she has been wildly successful. You can be highly functioning but still be a tick off.
I think that if it walks like rainbow, talks like a jelly bean, and swims like a gopher, then its probably not a duck.
If one person sees a problem we can agree to disagree. The people who mock Kelly to feel better about themselves should be ashamed as much as those who brush aside thoughtful analysis (or as much as reality TV allows).
Wow. Just…wow. Are you kidding? That comment basically made 0 sense.
Kelly tried to avoid fighting with Bethenny? Seriously? She’s done nothing else.
On the trip where Kelly claims to have been systematically bullied, the only bully was Kelly and her target was most often Bethenny. She is far more agressive towards Bethenny thn Bethenny has ever been towards her.
I agree, I’m gonna tell it like it is. I live in the same neighborhood as Kelly an have had 2 encounters. this chick walks the streets of the LES, like a space cadet. She waves at people that don’t even know who she is with that annoying high EEEEEEEEEEE, and that annoying half ass wave. she also skips around then walks smiling like she is in never never land. She is clearly jealous of Bethany and her success, the comment about creating a new drink with lemonade, patron & beer, I try’d it , rather drink gasoline. I’ve also try’d Skinny Girl Margarita “FABOULOS”….Kelly has ridding on the coat tales of Gillie Bensimon most of her career this is why she although divorce for a very long time still keeps the name Bensimon. The guy that had the altercation with her that walk to the police station was “MAX”. Gillie Bensimon has had multiple wives that do not use his name as a mean to an end, it doesn’t matter if she has 2 kids form the old geezzzz. So has Heidi the body which we have all know. Up until the show this nut-job was only know as a Hampton’s socialite, BC she was married to the most famous photographer. Kelly was Daniells from MJHWV daughters age when she started her modeling career and it started with the famous Mr. Bensimon, any bells & whistles going off. The entertainment business often exploits these kids and this is why they become addicted to drug sex and all the other dangers of fame. Fame comes with a price. Now the issues between Kelly & Bethany I think this is straight out jealousy. Despite her horrible childhood she has managed to rise above it all and become the successful women she is today. This jealousy was proved when she said she created the gasoline drink from lemonade. This girl needs HELP, and the girls father need to stick his eyeballs out of his lens and make sure his girls are safe, these girls have the same look in their eyes as Daniells. Did any one notice that sea showed some kind of withdrawal when she behaved like a 2yr old buy not speaking and writing things on a pad…BELLS AND WHISTLES TO ANY ONE REALTED TO THIS CHICK SHOULD BE RINGING BIG TIME. We don’t need her next season, I prefer Bethany’s humor and Sonja’s, not some psycho unraveling. One more thing I have to say that Gotham piece she did on accessories made no sense and what person gets on a table to celebrate an article on a psycho walking the streets on NYC city asking DUMB questions like “are you wearing underwear”… If people don’t think she doesn’t have mental & emotionally suppressed issues is just a “CRAZY NUT JOB LIKE HER”. These are the only people besides doctors who can relate to her…. “WE DON’T NEED HER NEXT SEASON OR WRITING FOR ANY MAGAZINE..IF FEATHERS CAN FEED THE HUNGER THAN WE WOULD HAVE NO ANIMALS WITH FEATHERS DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!KELLY GET HELP…
what does “”Kelly was Daniells from MJHWV daughters age when she started her modeling career “” mean? (comment from RNYCMOM)
How would you explain *cook vs chef*. KKB brings that up as often as she can to poke B with it. There is no sidestepping there, rather a weirdly obsessive aggression towards B.
I thought “cook vs. chef” was a really, really snobbish and mean dig at Bethenny’s livelihood. I think it’s funny that someone who doesn’t know how to cook in the first place would claim to know who’s a chef over a cook, but it was a dig inferring Bethenny was lowly, not prestigious.
During season 2 both Bethenny and Ramona called Kelly a “stupid model.”
Who are you? Rachel
This is a response to your comment.
“If you observed her more carefully, you might understand her better. She has navigated her way through New York’s fashion, modeling, publishing and art scene for 26 years quite successfully.”
What are you Kidding she married her a rich old man as a young woman. Other than that what has she done, thats why she needs this show, and how are great navigating skills going? Thats why she’s such a popular housewife, and navigated her way off scary Island, and getting her own show like her nemesis Bethenny. If she would ever get her own show it would be to watch a sad aging narcissist, single mother who is dumb, who thinks she’s still hot. That would be the only reason we would watch the show. The real successful navigator in less then five years is Bethenny
Kelly is not that successful, in fact her only big achievement is marrying money and thats how she got a little bit of work, her book of photos on bikinis that and an accessories editor for Elle. Guess who hooked her up? The only thing she stands for is to get attention.
I live in NYC and I am a designer, and work with a ton of other designers and she’s a nobody. Yeah she has a pretty face, but that goes out the window really quick, with an ugly inside.
Let’s get this straight. Kelly married for money, she married the real Mr. BIG in the fashion world. But she was never a super model. She has a bad shape.
Its clear she is a NARCISSIST. Kelly is a straight HATER as she likes to say, in her vernacular. KELLY is so jealous of Bethenny. Bethany is her competition, but better. Bethany is self made and now got the young man, (man her age, not an old sugar daddy, or a half fag man like the other gold-diggers).
I have a question why did no one ask her why she broke down when she got Bethenny’s gift bag. That was the moment when she realized that bethany truly won the popularity game. Remember Kelly is forever a teenager, and its about who is prettier. Who gets the most attention, and who is popular, insecure brats don’t like other skinny pretty girls. They want to be the only pretty ones in the room. Its funny how she tries to make herself out to be an intellectual because she went to night school at Columbia and does a bit of writing that she was hooked up with.
Is it only me that got the 1979, feelings comment. She was trying to refer to the song Feelings that was a big hit in the 70’s. How they were only talking about feelings ..Nothing more than feelings. As for the Al Sharpton it was Jack Nickleson that Bethenny was referring to and because of the tone she thought it was Bethenny impersonating a black man. I’m gonna bet that someone very important in her world once told her how cute she was with her jellybeans and cartwheels, that, that is how she sees herself. This chicken head has clear mental problems with a bit of coke look at her body there is some kind of drugs involved.
But I also know this type. Think Naomi Campbell. She’s a spoiled brat that has been getting her way for a long time. Because of her looks and only magnified with the Bensimion name, (thats why she will never let it go) Needs the attention that she is getting from this show, thats why even after this embarrassment she still wishes to stay on. Seems to be constantly on twitter. Ask your self this question, why is a grown ass woman with two kids and a supposed career always on twitter?
I know this chick so well, she went on the island because it was a chance to be in a bikini on TV and show off her best assets. (She’s shaped like a man, so stick with working the legs, cause girl that is all you have going for you, just don’t even talk). Its seem to back fire on her when she was not the center of attention, trying to belittle Bethenny on being a cook not a chef, because she has never hared of her, In the words of the countess “who are you?…. GOD”
Oh further proof that she is a jealous bird is the new lemonade drink she created, that was just plain sad. I think now the only thing that will hurt Kelly is if she is not back on the show. Her EGO needs it, I will bet that she is begging her agent and Bravo to let her back on.
In England beer and lemonade is called a Shandy. Adding a shot to that is probably just called poor judgement.
I don’t think Kelly is jealous of Bethenny at all. During season two, it was Bethenny who was desperate to make it seem like she and Kelly moved in the same circles and dated the same men. She went totally nuts when Kelly said “I don’t remember you.” Several times Kelly had to tell Bethenny to stay away from her.
And how many people is Bethenny fighting with? Jill, Omarosa, and last year she tried to pick a Twitter fight with Rachel Zoe. She also accused Teresa of stealing the word “Skinny.”
Personally, I hope Bethenny and Jill don’t come back to the show. I can’t stand their negativity.
Revlon10 – You hit the nail on the head!
is this show of Kelly’s going to be about confronting mental illness and getting the help you need?
BINGO Rev!!!
The 1st time B met her, wow, she was late, doesn’t lend her name to anything, let alone charities, why was she there then??
Hours late to her own party, days late in making an ounce of sense to anyone in their right mind. Anyone enabling her or feeling sorry for her needs help themselves, do you see yourself in her Rachel. Feel sorry for you, others in your life must have the same uphill battle trying to make any sense of anything you say or do.
THE WOMAN IS A METH HEAD and if she lived in the inner city, her KIDS WOULD BE IN FOSTER CARE IN A NYC MINUTE!
This rationalization might float for someone who actually displays the intellectual ability to recognize the complexity of her position. I don’t think that’s Kelly.
AngelofDev
Rachel. Rachel. I didn’t realize it had been typed over, had to look to see what you meant. I posted as Rachel, Andrea answered, I answered her, and I didn’t see the change in name. My son thinks this is pretty lame, and evidently signed on to say so, sorry. The posts under Ryan are mine, and as you see, they use some of the same material. It wouldn’t make much sense to repeat large sections of the same Sonja material under two names on purpose, particularly as I haven’t seen this material posted anywhere unless it was by me.
That is fine, I just wanted to make sure other posters were not confused about who they were talking to.
“Oh, isn’t that…well. I just love her. And I have always simply adored him. And I just hope… do you remember how clever that centerpiece was, of course you do, I hope she has a lovely Christmas.”
Oh, Rachel..poor, poor Rachel…your post is like a bad Tennessee William’s play…is you room wallpapered in publishing house rejection letters?
Are you sure this isnt Kelly commenting?, because “RACHEL” certainly comments the way Kelly speaks and rationalizes….Incoherently and confusing!
No, your posting made perfect sense. And Bethenny wasn’t a PETA spokesperson, she was just someone who wanted her photo, nude, in Times Square.
I think Kelly likes to play nice, and the rest of the world should take note of how that is done.
Huh? Kelly’s 1st appearance had her saying that she would not allow her name to be used to sponsor a charitable event. Bethany took issue with that which was somewhat understandable, Kelly was acting like her name meant something to the general public.
Kelly’s next big scene was when she invited Bethany to ‘talk’ and Kelly showed up late and then proceeded to tell Beth that ‘I’m up here and you’re down here’ nonsense.
From my vantage point, Kelly’s behavior just went downhill from there.
You call that playing ‘nice?’
RHoNY has shown us the best and the worst qualities of the housewives – and in us. It is obvious that Kelly has disordered thinking and is painfully unaware that she does. There seems to be a mob mentality on other sites to verbally bash the hell out of her, and it makes me feel ashamed that she is being treated this way. She needs a hand up, and not a kick in the teeth. One should hope that her ex-husband, whom she said she adores, would persuade her to seek treatment – if treatment is even effective.
BTW, I’ve enjoyed reading this blog and am glad that the discussion about personality disorders is ongoing. Recently I read that one in ten children has a personality disorder, and many are diagnosed either late or never. We could do a better job if we were all better informed.
there are people that actually know kelly and if they’re not jumping in to help her what does that tell you? she’s beyond help and has no redeeming qualiyies. hell, her child had to write down simple words so that kelly could understand them.
When people who do know her post on message boards, they are driven out by viewers calling them trolls. Most people who know Kelly say: very sucessful model, great athlete, sexually conservative (no one night stands is probably true) – generally the small town girl she says she is. Probably immature emotionally, probably spoiled, probably somewhat narcissistic (not the character disorder, but the relatively benign self centeredness of your average model). Not a person without flaws, but not crazy, not drug abusing, not stupid, and not malicious, either. But this version of Kelly, from people who know her, gets shot down by people who don’t.
first we didn’t know she had a mental disorder; second, have you ever tried to communicate with a crazy person? I mean Kelly is a good example of why you can’t communicate with crazy. Only crazy can communicate with crazy. Do you need more proof, texts, irrational rantings, unfounded allegations. As far as I am concerned, Kelly is a liability for Bravo. I was so afraid she was going to physically attack Bethenny. She attacked some guy, so it was very possible that she would attack Bethenny. And shame on the Lula and Jill for not being real human beings by feeding her insanity when they should have helped stop her behavior but hey it suited their purpose so we don’t have to do too much Kelly is doing all the crazy work. I hope Kelly has at least one moment of reality and reflects on her conduct.
Rachel’s crazy herself, she’s relating her life too closely to KKB. Anyway Kelly, like Jill, has a million names they post under, except Rachel sounds too smart to actually be KKB, it’s probably one of her assistants or a publicist
Hey, Andrea
My second reply to you in five minutes. At this rate we may become friends.
First, thank you for saying I am intelligent. It’s nice when people can disagree without going nuclear. Second, I am not a PR person or associated with Kelly Bensimon. Third, I don’t identify with her.(Oh, OK: full confession – I have her broad shoulders. I take it the wrong way when the boards go nuts on her shoulders. Size twelve top, size four skirt. Living with this is no easy thing. Bridesmaid dresses? Forget it. So it’s a little personal.)
Shoulders aside, I don’t identify with her. I am posting because the reaction to her is becoming something strange. I completely understand why people find her unrelatable, and I completely agree she is miscast in Housewives. But she is being horribly mischaracterized.
I have a request: go to her blog at KellyKillorenBensimon.com and scroll through a few months. Read her entries, think about what she says and how she says it, and ask yourself why we shouldn’t take her as she shows herself to be: an intelligent, athletic, busy mother of two with an abiding interest in the decorative arts of fashion, interiors, art books, and creative design. Perhaps not your kind of woman. But evil? Drug addicted? Stupid? Incoherent? Malicious? Really, no.
I’m interested in this because I’m sort of horrified by the mob mentality that seems to have formed around her. Not liking her is one thing. But hating her as a new national hobby? This has gotten out of all proportion to her actual flaws.
Sorry to interrupt but are you Ryan or Rachel because you are posting as two different people from the same addy and IP. Odd.
Does it matter if its Ryan or Rachel? Why disclose that it’s coming from the same ip address. What does it serve? Who cares if the same person wants to post under numerous names. I think if someone takes the time to create several id’s that’s their business and when they subscribe I don’t think they expect the site to make that public. If your secure in what your stating you should allow that other person the same respect. Simply put be the intelligent grown-up.
I found it to be odd. It could be a simple mistake but I feel if not it was a tad unfair to other posters. I do not mislead others purposely myself. The decision had nothing to do with me but rather wanting people to know who they talking to.
I have great concerns about Kelly tweeting her thoughts constantly. She announces her activities before she goes out. I just don’t think it is safe for her to do that.
I have exchanged comments with Kelly on Twitter several times and after reading them are baffled by the replies with her. I try to be tolerant with her but sometimes I get so confused. Does she really in “her” mind look at these ladies as “characters” on a show? In one breath she will state this but then in another she contradicts herself. On the third edition of the reunion, even poor Jill was telling her to “Stop”. I still stand by my theory that drug use is some how in the mix. I hope Bravo does the responsible thing and steps in somehow and steps away from the dramatic of “Kelly”, in all sincerity, I would really hate to see something bad happen to her. Especially for the sake of her daughters.
I think Kelly believes every word she says as she is saying them. Five seconds later she will contradict herself and believe every word of that as well. It is part of the disorder.
I think they are “characters on a show” actually. Remember, this isn’t reality; it’s unscripted drama. The major story lines are blocked out for the season. The producers stage scenes to advance the plot. The women go into wardrobe and makeup, are given a brief description of the point of the scene, and then improvise their lines, with cameramen, producers, lighting people and who knows how many others watching. Sometimes they reshoot a scene. We aren’t watching real women going about their real lives; we are watching real women play women modeled on their real personalities. Consider Ramona, for example. Does anyone here believe Ramona really amuses herself at dinner parties by drunkenly asking her friends if they are going to repair their failed breast implants? Of course she doesn’t; she’d never be invited to a second one. But the real Ramona probably does mangle common figures of speech, and may be tactless. The version of Ramona we see on screen is Ramona doing a great Ramona.
Kelly breaks the fourth wall more often than the others. She snapped at Sonja that she was drinking heavily during the Virgin Islands episodes. But remember: the reunion was filmed weeks before Sonja’s actual DUI arrest; Kelly either got very, very lucky in her choice of words – unlikely – or she was telling the truth. It turns out that Sonja likes to drink. Kelly is, on the evidence, probably telling the truth.
When Kelly snaps, she addresses the women as themselves, not as their characters. During the breakdown scene, Kelly was angry at something – she says behind the scenes bullying, and why not take her word for it? They DON’T like her – and for most of that scene all she really did was shatter the fourth wall. Did you make this? (No, Bethenny did not make dinner; her character supposedly did.) Ramona, you’re being so nice to Bethenny. Are you going to apologize for what you said about her to me? (Ramona couldn’t come up with a response, and left the table to try to figure out how to get back on script.) Sonja, Bethenny asked you if you were a hooker when you hostessed at that restaurant; how can you sit there? (Bethenny did. And as everyone at that table knew, but most of you probably don’t know, NYSD had written a long profile of Sonja years before her Real Housewives gig which in very veiled, lawsuit-proof language more or less said – just about that. Nice, Bethenny.) Kelly was out of control in that scene in the sense that she was refusing to play her part; she was getting even with them; she was at least most of the time recklessly telling the camera the truth.
She is not abusing drugs. She runs marathons. She is in great physical condition. Excercise is practically a religion with her. No drugs.
ugh
I’d love to see you take a Rorscach Test. The results would be endlessly fascinating. Kelly is schizo, period. She is NOT on drugs, just has a really shitty personality, and is spoiled, and has ‘aging issues.”
Religion? Right. KKB just said on a lost footage episode that she exercises for fun and doesn’t even break a sweat like serious athletes. She also told Sonja that she wanted to speak to sonja’s daughter and tell her that her mommy is not healthy because she had lipo to her tummy and that people should work out as opposed to surgery. I guess that KKB’s implants, the worst I’ve ever seen, don’t count.
She has serious mental disorders but she in fact exhibits all of the traits and tics of a meth user including smelling like cat piss. Look, I would hope she gets help. Why doesn’t she? With that kind of money she has access to the best health care in the world. She is surrounded by people that know she’s sick and no one does a damn thing about it and yet some people here feel that we have no right to discuss someone that clearly revels in the negative attention that she herself generates. Her friends won’t help her and I think she is entertainment for them. They celebrate the crazy and we have no venue to help her.
Troll, plain and simple.
I have known a couple of mildly austic and Asperger’s syndrom affected teenagers, and because of this, I have done much reading on the personality disorders. Somewhere on a blog I read of a suggested diagnosis that Kelly might have Asperger’s. She DEFINITELY does fit the personality. Many people with the syndrome do grow up to have relatively successful lives, although they oftentimes have great difficulty with interpersonal relationships, especially when it pertains to empathy of others. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with the father of one of these children (who coincidentally what a child psychiastrist). In a nutshell he said that the brain of someone with autism (Asperger’s is casually referred to as a milder case of the former) cannot “imagine” something that is not true. In other words, they cannot imagine anything not real. They cannot willfully lie. They cannot pretend. That is why they do not get along well with others. As children they do not engage in pretend play. That is what kids do: fantasy and pretend play. Commonly, if you ask a kid with autism to “pretend” with others, he may start talking about something, anything, thinking he is “playing” while just jabbering on about some unrelated subject. Just my thoughts. But I do think this diagnosis is absolutely what is wrong with Kelly. She just may not have ever been diagnosed.
misspellings….was a child psychiatrist…
Thats very interesting. I will have to read up more on Asperger’s.
angelofdevs, read up on Temple Grandin…fascinating highly “successful” Asperger’s syndrome. I caught the movie last week on my On Demand…I recommend it.
I’d be fascinated to know more about whether or not Kelly is mildly autistic in the Asperger’s profile. Though there are many comments here about possible drug habits, I feel with how squeamish she is towards sex, I don’t feel like she would be permissive towards hard drugs like meth. And it might explain why she seems so adolescent and hardly *evolved.*
I have never known anyone diagnosed with Asperberger’s Syndrome who was capable of being mean for any reason, even a highly functioning one.
No, but they have meltdowns when they are overwhelmed by stress, and these meltdowns can look a little like someone being “mean” in the sense that they are lashing out in order to regain control – they have to silence the environment in order to calm the storm in their heads. I don’t know whether this is true of Autism. It is true of Asperger’s.
Excellent point, robina. I can not imagine a person with Asperger’s ever being capable of saying “No one cares about you, Bethenny!”
I have watched RHONY all season and it weems to me that Kelly has been getting worse each episode. She seems to be obsessed with Bethenny and seems to think that Bethenny has it out for her in some way. Has anyone seen Bethenny do anything and/or say anything to or about Kelly that was unwarranted at anytime, no I don’t think so. Kelly’s behavior reminds me of that of a drug user, namely cocaine or crack. I happen to have worked with people who are addicts and have some of the same behavior and mental issues as Kelly has been displaying. I think that she needs to be evaluated and if she is just mentally unstable then she needs to get help now, if it is drugs then she needs to detox now and get into a treatment program, maybe someone should contact the producers of the show Addicted or Intervention and get this chick the help she so desperately needs. As far as her kids are concerned their father should be more concerned and maybe take them for a time so their mom can get help and get better so she can be a better mother to them and not a danger as she so clearly is now. I personally really think she is on some type of drugs. I hope she gets help and soon.
regardless of any clinical definition of her behavior, she is using and she participates in lots of sex with random partners. don’t let her play you. she is manipulative and responsible for her behavior.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this were true, only because this is how Kelly is with drinking and we’ve SEEN it. She’s always stating how she “doesn’t drink,” and whenever she’s in a social situation where others are drinking, she uses this as an excuse to admonish them. We saw this at the reunion when she accused the other women of only being confused by her behavior in St. John because they were, according to Kelly, too drunk. I remember back in S2, she was in a restaurant with Luann and she acted all shocked and scandalized when Luann ordered a glass of wine at 4pm. Yet we’ve seen her drinking multiple times, and now she’s apparently invented a drink. A former nanny of hers recently alleged that she sometimes starts the day by spiking her coffee with tequila. It wouldn’t shock me if she’s also a hypocrite when it comes to what she has to say about sex too.
Dual Diagnosis is very common. Obvious drug use masking psychiatric problems.
I think the reason Bethenny wants to leave the show is because Kelly scares her. You see Bethenny’s serious concern when she looks at Kelly. Do you think Kelly being on a reality show will help make her condition worse? Kelly’s behavior was so bad at St. John that Bravo got first class tickets for Kelly and a producer. The producer stayed with Kelly for her safety. There are details of the breakdown that the other wives and Bravo have not told.
I agree. Kelly’s weird obsession with Bethenny borders on stalking and seems like it could easily escalate into violence on Kelly’s part. And Kelly DOES have a history of violence. (Remember the boyfriend she beat up? Early on I was willing to believe Kelly’s explanation, the he was just an opportunist, but now I believe it was all true & I wonder if someone paid him off to drop the charges).
Bethenny has a child now and if I was her I would keep her far away from Kelly.
Bethenny may have realized her own poor impulse control where Kelly is concerned. She knows Kelly is impaired and yet she cannot avoid engaging in hostile debate with her.
funny you mention that…I thought Bethenny should have been looking for a plan to knock her the hell out if she got up off that couch and started towards her, personally, I didn’t want to watch but because I had a feeling she was going to attack Bethenny I could not turn the channel. If cooler heads where not around her there is no way you can convince me that she wouldn’t have gone for Bethenny’s throat. It is so obvious Kelly hates Bethenny and Kelly can’t control her impulses. I didn’t want Bethenny to take her eyes off of Kelly out of fear of kelly attacking Bethenny.
i believe the ‘Scary Island’ behavior/meltdown/hostility was precipitated by the fact that Kelly was in an environment that she couldn’t leave.
her MO seems to be to spout something nonsensical and then leave without having to explain or justify. on the boat and on the island, she couldn’t do that and continually faced requests and demands for clarification and justification of her statements and non-sequiters. she was like a trapped animal! probably for the first time in a very very long time she was being held accountable for her statements.
i also think she exhibits classic symptoms of drug addiction. that, added to her being rather stupid in the first place and aggressive with the stupidity… it’s a perfect storm of WTF?
I think you’re right about her MO. Many people have been commenting since she first started on the show about how she always breezes into events late, does her trademark “Hiiiiiiieeeeee!”, flits around without getting into an actual conversation with anyone, then leaves early. Whenever she shows up anywhere, she always has someplace else to be 15 minutes later.
yes. i truly believe Scary Island was a monumental temper tantrum on Kelly’s part.
This was subtle, and easily missed on Scary island…but recall when Kelly cried on the phone with Jill and the “Bethenny’s going to stab me, kill me…EEK, EEK, EEK!” Then within seconds Kelly wiped her eyes and said, “OK, I’m going to go smile now.” I thought…WTF? Did I just hear that? I have watched that scene a few times…and yes, that is what she said. She has her little MO where she thinks she can say and do whatever she wants and that her big toothy smile will make everything all right again….she’s been using that schtick all her life, I’d bet….and it works with men, no doubt, but not with these whip smart NYC women…game over, Kelly.
I enjoy reading this blog…I think Kelly’s bizarre behavior and totally lack of accountability is mind-boggling. As for her success…modeling is a tough world, but with her apparrant lack of insight, I would guess she could survive all sorts of tough situations. I mean she doesn’t take criticism personally, she skews towards Jupiter and places blame on the messenger. You can’t forget her former husband, world class fashion photographer, Gilles Bensimmon and the contacts she had through him. You don’t have to make any sense to model and with agents and important contacts and her former husband steering the way for her, she didn’t need a lot of smarts or competence to be moderately successful. Other people made the grand decisions…she just takes all the credit.
i’ve never seen her in anything other than this series. where does she model? not a household name in fashion.
I think that’s just it… Kelly is “almost famous”. Had she been of sound mind in her prime, perhaps she would have become a truly famous model. But as it is, she had a successful (made a living) modeling career, married an enormously successful man in the industry, and we all know the rest of the story…
dcscrewylouie- at her age, her peers would have been the Cindy Crawford generation of models- Linda Evangelista, Stephanie Seymour, Christy Turlington, etc. If she had been massively successful, I would have known of her, for I was obsessed with Vogue in my teenage years.
At most, I think her success was moderate and also fueled by her marriage to Gilles Bensimon. Chances are when she became a mommy, she became less active as a model.
Lex: I completely agree because I, too, had never heard of her before the show. She had just enough success on her own to attract Gil (and as I said, make a living as a model, so pretty modest success, at best) and then any success after that (Editor at Elle, her book deal, etc.) is due to his coat-tails.
In fact I believe the whole Playboy “spread” was Gil’s doing, directly or indirectly, since he was the photographer for that shoot.
So, yes, she was never famous (until RHONY). My point is that she was certainly positioned to be famous (with the influential “plugged-in” husband) and perhaps her mental and emotional issues throughout her life are exactly why she’s not. Or maybe it’s just because she looks like a man… we’ll never know. Hope I cleared up my position and that you see I am in total agreement with you, here and elsewhere (you’re comments in response to Amy are right on!) Cheers!
dcscrewylouie- hi! I didn’t think she was terribly “household known” till now. I was obsessed with Vogue and even knew of the second-tier models- Elaine Irwin, Shana Zadrick, Karen Mulder, Tatjana Patitz, and even Carla Bruni. If she had been even moderately successful, I would have been obsessed enough to know her name/background.
And LOL… could you imagine what would happen if someone went up to her and said, “you’re not a real celebrity, you’re a discarded trophy wife” with the same zing of her “cook vs. chef” remarks at Bethenny?
I see eye-to-eye with you too- heavens, some of the posters here take things a wee too personally. Are you on Twitter at all?
You can find me on Twitter @DauOZenda. Say “hello”!
Face of Clarins. Long run as a catalog model for Talbots. Said to have walked into New York as a sucessful model, never struggled, worked continuously.
When she was younger, I believe she was the face of Clarins…I’m sure her French husband got her the gig with the French company. She’s over 40 now…that’s ancient for a model, as we all know…she’s hanging around the fringes of the fashion world…she’s no longer a serious player.
Wasn’t there a comment on the show at some point, that Kelly’s room smelled like cat piss? Didn’t Sonja say that on Scary Island at some point?
Meth can smell like cat piss.
I’ve gone back and forth on the drug thing too but now I’m thinking that Bravo is dropping a huge hint deliberately because legally they can’t suggest much more. With all the hours of footage they have of the V.I. trip (it’s been said over and over again that it was way worse) why would they leave the “cat pee” comments IN. Even if they wanted to show the funny bit of Sonja jumping on Kelly in the bed so they balance the crazy angry moments with the playful part they could have easily dropped the audio. They left it in…she said it twice, I believe, and looking into the camera.
So I’m thinking there could be several reasons. I’ve heard she’s in a probationary period for the assault thing…any kind of drug thing could have meant jail. Maybe Bravo is protecting her. Maybe Bravo is protecting themselves, especially if she tries to push this “I was forced to go there and be bullied” angle she’s working.
Leaving that line in is NOT random or accidental especially when so much other stuff was deliberately cut out.
Wow, I hadn’t thought the “cat pee” remark could be a clue, but based on the editing standpoints you’re making, you’re right.
Huh. It’s weird for me to picture KKB as a hardcore druggie (meth user) when she’s as sexually reticent as she is, but given the assault charges on her ex- I wonder if that was drug-fueled too?
wow! someone just sent me this website. I just watched all three reunion shows and i am drained. it was like watching a train wreck and by train wreck i mean fascinating. I was thinking on scarey island that she had some sort of personality disorder with adhd but your diagnosis sounds correct. i dont see the drug thing, though i can understand how it can look like that. I dont know if i can watch next season if she doesnt get help. Watching attention seeking people on a reality show is funny – watching someone lapse into mental illness-not so much. thanks for your insights.
In recent episodes as I watch Kelli implode I am filled with a great sadness for her and for her daughters. She is deteriorating both mentally and physically before our eyes. She is aging visibily and her lack of hygene is quite obvious in addition to her confusion and inability to string words together to make a coherent sentence. She is exhibiting many of the signs of meth addiction including the smell of cat’s urine in addition to the classic symptoms of mental illness that I find it outrageous of Bravo to continue to allow her the humiliation of breaking down in front of a million or so
viewers. Surely they can force her to seek help or else eliminate her from the show. And where are her love ones? Human decency demands that this not be allowed to continue.
Now to step off my soapbox and ask a question. I have noticed that Kelli never admits she is at fault in any situation. The opposite is the case. She is always praising herself stating what good qualities she has and how superior a person she is. Is this another part of her mental disorder or simply insecurities at play?
Thank you for sharing your expertise. It is very informative and thought provoking.
She’s starting to remind me of Carrie Ann on Dr. Drew’s shows. I didn’t notice the cat pee comment during the show but it all seems to make sense now. Great blog!!
Sounds a bit like Teresa Giudice, aye? She pretty much toots her own rusted horn all the time, too.
My comments about T.G. were meant for CoCo.
LMFAO! This stuff is hilarious. I’ve had twitter wars with the bimbo as well and she just doesn’t get it.
I’d like to know how to keep this idiot off the show, Bravo shouldn’t give her the satisfaction of coming back. From what Andy Cohen said, she was NOT forced to go on that vacation, but she kept insisted “bravo forced her”. I wonder why Jill & Luann weren’t “forced”, hummm… She knows she wants to come back, but she is not really entertaining, just very annoying. I like watching some drama, but this trash bag Kelly is a bit too much. She makes me want to kick her azz thru the tv….still trying to figure out how to do that, lol Anyone notice how Jill had to keep reeling Kelly is, basically telling her to shut up, lol. I did get a little mad when Jill defended Kelly stating she herself walked into it as well, i.e. the “so called bullying” . Gimma a effing break. I’ve tried several times to post on Bravo’s site, but my comments never ever post, so annoying, so I’ll come here when it pertains to coocadoddle Kelly
Jill USES Kelly. Jill insults Kelly about saying “like” all the time and talks to her like she is a child. Kelly takes the insults. Bethenny trys to speak to Kelly like an adult but Kelly attacks and fights Bethenny. I think some of the name calling Kelly did in St. John was things she had heard JILL say when Jill was gossiping about the other girls to Kelly. Kelly said channeling the devil at the fashion show and Kelly said it on vacation. Jill may have said that to Kelly on the cell phone and Kelly went in and repeated it to Alex’s face.
Agreed!! I think actually, that the “phone-ing” (I know this isn’t a word…;) ) going on between Jill and Kelly during the trip was fueling the fire which is why some of the comments Kelly was throwing out there sounded oddly familiar to what Jill has said and was saying presently re: most of the women who were on that trip….we can only imagine what Kelly would phone Jill about and when and what egging on Jill would give–even during the reunion, you could see Jill feeding into Kelly–none more obvious than when she was giving credence to Kelly’s “bullying” fantasy in order to pull her own ass out of the fire when Ramona and Sonja confronted Jill on her “surprise”! Whether or not Jill realized at the time just how sick Kelly is remains to be found out, but at any rate, can you imagine a more twisted use of someone to poke into things you have no business getting into–with friends like that….all the ladies on that trip have repeatedly said it was way worse than what was aired-I would imagine getting escorted out of town by your producer would give that version a little more weight than the tale Kelly has been trying to spin. (Although, I do think Kelly ACTUALLY BELIEVES that what she says happened, happened–kinda like a legend in her own mind type of story….)
Nicole..Bravo won’t publish my thoughts either.
Just two comments. First, it just seems she has been “insanely” jealous of Bethanny since the beginning. She doesn’t seem to be able to successfully maneuver around these feelings. Secondly, it has been suggested that family or friends should respond to her “odd” behavior and encourage her to seek treatment, however, that is easier said than done. She is an adult and it is very difficult if not nearly impossible to get someone “help” if they themselves do not see a problem. Unless she becomes a severe danger to herself or those around her…meaning she has actually attempted to harm herself or someone else in a criminal way..there is not much even family can do to force a person to seek treatment. And at best, she would only have a 72 hr hold on her to evaluate and if her symptoms were mild during that time she would be released. However, I also agree Bravo should not renew her contract, it seems irresponsible. As read previously, someone suffering with a mental illness should not be displayed for entertainment purposes or to make a profit.
Speaking as an attorney, from a liability perspective alone, Bravo should not bring Kelly back after the behavior she displayed. I’m sure Bravo has all kinds of limiting clauses in their contract with the “stars,” but if Kelly really harmed someone or herself during the filming of a show, whether on camera or not, Bravo won’t be able to hide behind those limiting clauses for long. Bravo has to make a decision between the viewers clamoring for more Krazy Kelly or possible legal exposure. My hunch is that they go for the ratings and take the risk. I for one will be watching…it’s impossible not to.
Unfortunately she will probably never seek help. It’s as if everyone in the room is speaking english, and Kelly thinks she is speaking english too, but she is really speaking croatian. Everyone in the room is frustrated because Kelly doesn’t understand she is not speaking english and goes off on tirades in croatian. The frustration level is HUGE on everyone’s part. People with a quick wit like Bethenny are particularly frustrated because its like watching a slug speak croatian. (I don’t know why I am using “Croatian”, it just popped into my head).
Everyone needs to take a step back and somehow relate THIS analogy (or any other language you want to use) to Kelly. This is what her friends and family should try to convey. Perhaps it will help her see she needs treatment.
Poor Kelly. As irritating as she can be, I really believe she has serious emotional issues that are devastating her life. Unfortunately ones with mental illness too often are unable to realize how ill they are. I’ll be shocked if Bravo brings her back, if not for ethical reasons then due libility issues.
If Kelly comes back next season, then Bethenny should not have to film with her. It is exhausting to watch and NOT entertaining. I wonder what Bravo said to Kelly’s agent after Kelly said Bravo MADE her go to St. John twice and Andy said that is not true both times. I see Kelly as a liability for Bravo.
I love this blog! Please do Alex McCord.
I think Kelly needs to help.
I had a close family member who had a breakdown. It got really bad before she got treatment. Until she endangered her child there was nothing anyone could do. The day that happened a judge signed to have her placed in the state mental hospital.
A pretty awesome HuffPo article about “celebrating” KKB- oh, SNAP:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/valerie-frankel/kelly-bensimon-celebrate_b_617470.html
Anyone on Twitter? Say hi! @lexistential.
That very mean article about Kelly was written by somebody named Valerie Frankel. Any relation to Bethenny? I can’t believe Huffington Post would publish such garbage.
Great article, Lex!
I think what Kelly fails to realize is that her contradictions make her IMPOSSIBLE to take seriously. If you are constantly declaring X, but your actions prove that you are Y, then you have ZERO credibility. Why would anyone want to emulate, much less “celebrate” such an insincere individual? You cannot trust someone who at their core is so incredible. We strive for credibility and trust within ourselves and each other. Credibility not only gives each of us a strong sense of “self”, the trust that we exude from being credible people allows others to know us.
Think how confusing this must be for Kelly’s daughters! Talk about an unstable home… “We can’t trust anything Mom says or does because she NEVER REALLY MEANS IT.” What should they believe when she tells them that she loves them?!
I think this basic breakdown in authenticity is why Bethenny has SUCH a strong reaction to Kelly. B grew up not being able to trust the most important people in her life, her parents, because they were not authentic, credible people. B sees the same inauthenticity in Kelly as she did her parents. Thus the strong emotional reaction B has to Kelly.
It might seem okay to Kelly to just flippantly say, “Don’t judge me, just celebrate who I am… I am this way today, but tomorrow I might be the opposite, that’s just meeeeee.” That inconsistency inherently makes her unauthentic and, therefore, untrustworthy. And whether she likes it or not, she IS hurting everyone around her, most profoundly… her children.
Re: “I think this basic breakdown in authenticity is why Bethenny has SUCH a strong reaction to Kelly. ”
Did you watch Season Two? Bethenny hates Kelly because Kelly wouldn’t give her the time of day. Bethenny kept insisting to Kelly that they had met before, that they had some friends in common, and that they had dated some of the same men. Bethenny wanted to make seem like she and “the model” moved in the same circles. Kelly told Bethenny that she didn’t remember meeting her, and that’s what made Bethenny go off. She’s been angry at Kelly ever since. A current parallel would be Jill’s rage at Alex. Anyone who hasn’t seen Season Two doesn’t know the whole story.
dcscrewylouie- I thought this article very neatly summed up KKB in ways she doesn’t know how to do so for herself. It’s astounding to ask to be “celebrated” when she’s as contradictory and interpersonally difficult as she’s been.
With all the discussion I’ve had in various threads, I’ve come to an opinion that she lacks critical thinking. Whether that’s from drug use, a disorder, or from never having gone on to develop the skill, she seems mildly mentally handicapped and a more limited “child-woman” compared to the rest of her castmates.
In asking to be “celebrated”, I think she said it as much without understanding in depth what the ideal is, but so her castmates would back off. In her POV, most people who fawn over her/men “celebrate” her, why not them? Why aren’t they being nice to her when everyone else is? Why were they bullying her/making her feel cornered? I’m sure ego is somewhere in the request, but I think basic fight/flight survival instincts motivated it too.
Anyway, that’s my latest theory 🙂
Again, I do think this goes back to my theory that she has Asperger’s or mild Autism. She doesn’t seem to grasp abstract ideas well. Maintaining an abstract idea is just that: an idea, not something tangible and easy to see as unchanging. So one day a synapse fires and she does one thing; the next, the does another. Her mind cannot really hold onto anything unseen very well, and so out of mind is really out of mind. And she doesn’t see the contradiction. What I also find incredible is her pronouncements that she is the only NORMAL one. The other women on the show tend to fight BECAUSE they analyze the discrepancies in behavior of other people. They are offended because someone does something in one instance and is inconsistent or is a hypocrite in another. As people we feel comfortable when we can generalize about situations. It gives us a feeling of stability when we can put people “into boxes”. Kelly doesn’t understand the boxes. She thinks she is the ONLY normal one. If she is the only “normal” one, then she is surrounded by “regular” people, full of faults, something she cannot understand.
I totally agree with this. And, Karen I did see season 2 and I still agree with the sentiment that the in-authenticity is what really burns Bethenny.
Bethenney and Kelly had met each other several times and Kelly would flirt with Beth’s boyfriend and then act as though she had never met Beth before – which is exactly what Sonja said about Kelly this season. And you really can’t get more inauthentic than that.
The fact that she is also completely inconsistent in who she is and what she professes to believe is just another layer of inauthentic behavior.
And I get why Beth engages her. Beth wants to make sense of what Kelly is saying. I think Beth knows she shouldn’t try but her brain tells her “you can figure this out if you just ask the right question.” Only she can’t.
And because Kelly doesn’t understand the way conversation works – a person says something, you comprehend it, you respond. Repeat – she feels attacked because she has most likely never had to explain herself. So, she either retreats – leaving early before the questions start, or attack because she feels defensive.
I became most aware of this when Kelly said that she hated the “banter” in a list of things she said she hated about dealing with the women. My first thought was that she didn’t know what the word meant. My second thought was she knows what it means but she hates it because she doesn’t know how to do it. She doesn’t know how to carry on an actual conversation where someone actually responds with their own opinion to something that Kelly may just state as fact. Anything that questions what Kelly makes as a declarative statement is seen as an attack on her.
And remember Bethenny did not know Kelly was this crazy on season 2, she just thought she was stuck up and disingenuine.
Pingback: Top Posts — WordPress.com
Love this site! I think your analysis is pretty spot on. I do think at times that Kelly seems to have Borderline Personality Disorder. Her contrary comments seem to indicate a lack of sense of self, the core of being borderline. Her emotional outburts, especially the inappropriate anger also point to borderline behavior.
But as you know, many times when someone has a personality disorder, they often will have elements of more than one disorder. So perhaps both of your diganoses are correct.
Anyway – Nice Job! It’s an interesting take on the show and the discussion from the posters is intelligent and thoughtful.
Do you think KKB has been going through therapy maybe in the last few months and doing some sort of regression to a post-traumatic trama that may have occurred in 1979 or when she was a teenager. She behaves – as many posters have mentioned – as a young adolescent and that is how she communicates and expresses herself.
I guess just grasping at straws to put a positive spin on her behavior. …
With that being said I really do think she experienced a trauma as a young teenage girl which has probably created most of her issues. Or she began seeing the first symptoms of a mental illness around that time… who knows.
Many people with personality disorders (especially with a narcisstic componenet) need victims off which to “feed” (there’s a technical term for it I can’t remember). I’ve spent too many hours in therapy having been that other.
I was really disturbed by the interaction Bethenny and Kelly had in the bedroom at Jill’s house when they were suppose to “clear the air.” It was way too familiar to me. The crazy making circles … that somehow make them seem rational and you irrational. I then searched the web for a site like this because I needed a reality check, but sadly found nothing. I thought that whole scene would have made a great basis for a Psych paper.
I have been taught that it can be incideous how the perpetrator of abuse can make their victims feel like they are the abuser. Even to outsiders. There’s something called the triangle of abuse. I believe Kelly has choosen Bethany as her object to feed the ego of her personality disorder.
With Bethenny’s dysfuntional family background, Kelly chose well. I’m sure Bethenny has played this position before. I’m proud of her for proactively choosing to seek therapy as she enters new stages of her life. Unless you’ve been there, it might not have been as easy to see what was happening with Kelly. There’s a term called gaslighting that’s hard to define or understand unless you’ve been there.
Bethenny must be feeling great relief that more people are seeing her reality. This might actually be giving her more courage to be confrontive (or striking back) instead of “taking the high road” as I’ve seen it put. She is in a totally different position then any of the others. She is healthily defending her own sense of self.
“With Bethenny’s dysfuntional family background, Kelly chose well.” I think you hit the nail on the head with this. It would be hard to do without family histories, but I would really love for angelofdevs to take up the Kelly-Bethenny dynamic in a separate blogpost. They do seem to have unique dynamic w/in the franchiese and I’ve been wondering for some time now if KKB’s behavior doesn’t make Bethenny regress in some way to interactions she had as a child growing up in a dysfunctional household. My understanding about people so situated is that they are drawn into the crazy behavior even as they want to distance themselves from it. That would explain why it took Bethenny so long to disengage with Kelly and the whole “go to sleep” moment. Instead of KKB being trapped, you might see Bethenny as the one stuck in in a house with someone aggressively irrational–which might mirror her own childhood issues. I did see Season II, but it seems to me that the conflict there was again about KKB refusing to acknowledge a reality (about them having met before) in a weirdly adamant way that might have triggered Bethenny even then. People in many blogs have pointed out the obvious reasons KKB might be jealous of Bethenny (successful in a career/brand she built without a famous ex-husband; most popular on the show; more quick-witted, etc. etc.), however, something more primal might be going on with both of them.
I think it is pretty clear that they BOTH had dysfunctional childhoods and like both of you mentioned recognize that in each other. Perhaps Kelly ‘chooses’ (self-conciously, of course) Bethenny because she in fact reminds her of someone from her childhood. That might be why she kept ‘regressing’ to child-like behaviors, mentioning things that she had no proof or no idea that Bethenny had done (calling her a hobag, etc), and repeatedly saying things about 1979. Often in therapy, patients identify people later in life to ‘work thru’ their past traumas, aggressions whatnot because the original tormentor is not available presently, so they identify – without cause – a person who strikes them similarly. This person could be completely different from the origin of trauma, but something about them reverberates with the individual making them feel there is a correlation. I think this could possibly be happening from Kelly’s perspective and possibly B’s as well.
Also, perhaps that is where Kelly’s assignations of bullying are coming from.
Looks like Mz. KKB has bullying on the brain. On this Bravo blog entry of hers I happened upon she writes:
she probably bullies her kids.
In regards to Kelly’s adolescent communication and behavior — is it possible that it has something to do with her cognitive development (or lack thereof)? We have seen time and again that Kelly is stuck in concrete thinking (the cognitive developmental stage of a roughly 12-15 year old) — unable to process or understand abstract thought, which normally develops in late adolescence and early adulthood. She cannot understand metaphor or use it correctly (the misuse and misunderstanding of “lemonade out of lemons”). She also only displays literal understanding of words and cannot recognize the use of symbolism, irony, or satire. (For example, in season 2, Ramona compares Kelly to the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz — meaning I guess that she doesn’t have a brain. In the season three reunion, Kelly says that Ramona “thinks she’s a scarecrow”. Also, in The Last Supper, Sonja had to explain to Kelly that Bethenny didn’t mean it literally when she called Sonja a hooker.)
If this is the case, and Kelly has not developed past Piaget’s Concrete Operational Stage, it represents a serious cognitive deficit that I’m sure aggravates/exacerbates any other disorder she might also display. Concrete thinking is characteristic of several disorders (for lack of a better word), including psychopathy and Asperger’s (I’m not saying that she has either of these, but people have mentioned these disorders in regards to Kelly), and has implications for much of her day-to-day behavior. I’ve read that some people with concrete thinking may not be able to engage in multi-step processes very well. (Remember the scene in the Hamptons where she says she’s not able to follow recipes and she has to have her daughter help her through the recipe when they’re making pancakes?) Concrete thinkers may also have difficulty managing time, as that is considered to be an abstract concept. (Kelly is famous for being late, and was hours late for her own Halloween party.) Concrete thinking also may affect such things as moral development, emotional regulation, etc.
At any rate, I was just think it’s an interesting facet of whatever problem she’s dealing with, and might explain some of her behavior. Basically, it seems to me that if she has not been able to progress developmentally to abstract thought, then she is not really operating intellectually as a fully functioning adult. She seems to be a child raising children, and that cannot be good for them.
Amazing. I don’t think Kelly is actually responsible for raising her children. I’ve read that her ex has an apartment in the same building as hers and she also has staff in the home to look after them. She admits that she doesn’t cook for them and is in fact incapable of doing so.
I’ve actually read that he owns the building and that Kelly has more than one Nanny. I also read that the man she assaulted was primarily caring for her children while Kelly was being filmed during her Max story line.
Evelyn,
This was a fascinating post! Thank you for all the new information on developmental disabilities… so thought-provoking .:-)
Hi Evelyn,
Very insightful points. I think it’s easier for me to view KKB as someone who never went on to develop more critical thinking, versus someone who lost those faculties.
“Bethenny didn’t mean it literally when she called Sonja a hooker…”
Umm, yes, she did. She was alluding to an article that ran in NYSD when Sonja was an unmarried restaurant hostess.
Sonja came from a blue collar family in upstate New York. (Her father died in April; see his obituary for details.) Before her marriage Sonja was a hostess at a restaurant in New York. New York Social Diary profiled her, and the main point of the long article that ran was that she was living far above her salary: winter vacations in Aspen, weekend trips to the south of France, appearances on yachts in the Caribbean. She actively generated a lot of traffic for the restaurant, and while her methods were not spelled out, the implication was clear to anyone reading between the lines. It was especially clear to the wives of men who lunched there, who did not like what they assumed was going on and succeeded in getting her fired.
She met John Morgan at that restaurant, but after they married they told people they had met at a party. The restaurant was a sensitive subject.
The article was republished when Sonja signed up for Real Housewives, and Bethenny would have been aware of it.
The article’s implications may be baseless; they may be wildly overstated; I have no idea if a single word of it is true. But the hooker question is directly related to the article. Nice going, Bethenny. Way to film your first scene with Sonja. Remember her first scene with Kelly? Bethenny is one dangerous person to work with.
I think Bethenny’s comment probably stemmed from an off camera conversation she had with Sonja. I think they get along well with each other and may have shared a humorous exchange about the article.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pervasive_developmental_disorder)
Add Pervasive Developmental Disorder bc it fits to a T! Esp. her incessant hair twirling & word salad during the Reunion episodes.
Cool Site! I love people watching, too……..
I find your diagnosis spot on. I watched the 3 reunion episodes and was amazed by KKB’s behavior. The bullying soapbox she is on is the biggest sham! I think she has severe mental issues. She seems to live in a fantasy world all her own. I hope BRAVO doesn’t renew her contract for season 4. Watching a person have a break down on tv whether it be drug induced or because of mental defect is not entertainment! I hope her ex-husband intervenes and takes custody of their precious daughters. This cannot be a healthy living environment for those kids.
It really makes you feel sorry for her.
Just prior to finding this site, I had begun trying to figure out just why I was watching these RHO shows AND enjoying them so much. I was worried that there was something wrong with me……
I finally figured out that watching these shows actually told me that I was ok, because ALL of the women on ALL of the shows have personalities and act in ways in which I really don’t identify. I don’t have any of this type of drama in my life, and so the drama is provided to me via these shows.
THEN.. I found this site and my own theories have been confirmed by the several diagnosis essays provided on the site along with all of the comments, which look to me to be 95% in line with my own thoughts.
Uppermost in my hopes for the future is that BRAVO can figure out a way to continue the shows without BOTH Kelly and Danielle, as they are both too far over the edge to be entertaining. I had begun to hate them and I don’t like the feeling. Now, of course, I just feel really sorry for them; they are so damaged as human beings. It’s really sad.
When Kelly shouts at Bethanny “NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU”, that must have hit a painful cord for Bethanny considering her family seemed never to be there to validate her or to love her unconditionally. I might be wrong, but it seems, no matter how much one trys to heal from those old wounds, there is always a small voice in one’s head whispering you are not “lovable” therefore no one cares about you. And you spend your life trying to prove to yourself that indeed you do matter!! Also, the “I’m here and your there”…statement…I don’t think Kelly is saying these things to purposely “hurt” Bethanny, but she seems like she constantly is saying things that could very well open old wounds for Bethanny. Kelly is truly not an empathetic person that could see where her words are more cutting than perhaps even she realizes. I am really enjoying the conversation of everyone’s replies.
I think these women are so old that the statute of limitations has run on some of these issues. Bethenny seems in touch with herself and those things that may cause worry. I am proud of her, her relationship and family with Jason is so important she sought counseling as not to wreck it because she was exposed differently but she is picking what is right for her family. Now someone like Kelly doesn’t even know how sick they are but they are raising kids and think they are normal. Bethenny doesn’t look like she needs anything and she is willing to work out issues to have the greatest quality of life. She is very normal and aware of herself. No self-esteem issues or she wouldn’t be the success she is because she wouldn’t have moved past the past issues.
Robina, If what you are saying is that issues brought about by dysfunctional homes, or traumas, or any of the reasons people end up with “issues” go away with age, I politely disagree. Bethanny still has plenty of unhealthy issues..and alot of very successful people have issues, but somehow they are able to move forward in spite of their problems. Even those choosing long term therapy only heal enough to get certain road blocks out of their way. I look at a persons experiences as fabric..and even if it completely becomes unraveled..and one takes the time to repair it, I think a vulnerable place always remains that can be easily torn again..but you can still use it to stay warm. Make sense? I’m old..and had years of therapy, and yes, I’ve overcome ALOT, but I still feel certain wounds open, I just have learned healthier ways of stitching them up again. I don’t think Kelly has a type of dysfunction that allows her to see her inconsistences..and problems, perhaps that might be the narcissistic part..and the very essense of that disorder makes it almost impossible to correct. Interesting conversation, though, huh!
I thought it was really bizarre that after Kelly was claiming to be so upset about putting herself in such a terrible bullying situation on Scarey Island that she would be chirping up happily about coming back again next season! Wouldn’t you think she would just take what is left of her self-respect and simply run at the first opportunity to get away from the so-called bullies once and for all? Extremely thick-skinned and I am thinking maybe Ausperger’s could be correct. The situation that really made me angry was when Bethenne and she were in a bedroom (I believe Ramona’s in NYC) trying to patch things up and Kelly just refused to allow Bethenne to get in one word…she just about plugged her hears and shut her eyes and sang “lallalalallalalla” at the top of her lungs to tune out Bethenne. I don’t know how Bethenney didn’t haul off and pop her one – I would have been reduced to a rubble of frustrated tears dealing with Kelly.
Can someone explain why they claimed Kelly did not have good personal hygiene this season? I think I missed something here and would really like to know. Thanks….I adore this site!
personally, that may be the METH seeping through her skin. I ran into a former co-worker at the mall this weekend and you should have seen those teeth, she reeked differently, like a chemical reaction, hence, likened to cat pee. She couldn’t look me in the eye either.
I have a drug question for you, and other posters who are in the know about meth: is it easy to smuggle? If KKB is a meth addict, would she have been able to smuggle some from NY to St. John easily & w/o airport security being involved?
I know the meth theory is popular here, but I have difficulty wrapping my head around it. With any drug addiction, you have to have certain developed base smarts to have and hide a habit, and KKB doesn’t seem like she has any craftiness to her & no poker face whatsoever. She seems like an overeager “not quite there” adolescent who is sexually reticent & nowhere near casual; this does not add up to someone willing to do a hardcore drug.
Thoughts? Thanks.
they flew private. there is very little security check at Teterboro in NJ and probably little on the St. John end for private either.
The thing with me is that Kelly has no integrity, compassion, empathy, moral character (I do I don’t I do I don’t I do I don’t), frankly I appreciate a clinical explanation but I really didn’t need one because I have seen and heard enough of Kelly to conclude that she is certifiable. And to that poster who said she lives in the same neighborhood and has seen the vacant look in her daughters eyes, I believe every word you typed.
I have been reading responses as they’ve come through on my email, and I must now respectfully request that we stop assigning Asperger’s/any other form of AU to Kelly’s weird behaviors. My SOLE occupational responsibility is the diagnosis of people with any and all forms of autism, and there is *very little chance* KKB has any of the forms. She engages in interpersonal interactions far too quickly and easily and, for all intents and purposes, appropriately to have AU. The content of her communication may not be on point or have large amounts of clarity, but how she delivers her messages is not impaired. That would be key in a diagnosis of autism. So again I ask that we take that off the table. It makes me nervous to have misinformation about the condition continually bandied about. 🙂
I’m sorry, but I really think KKB has Aspergers. I’m not saying I have a pysch degree, but I think being married to an Aspie qualifies me to give that opinion. Notice how her ‘feelings’ are displaced and not well, rational; the vacation on scary island, Bethenny leaves gives for all the girls at each of their doors. Most ‘normal’ people, even if you are pissy with them, would percieve that as a nice gesture, but she didn’t….clearly. First thing outta her mouth was, “what is this girl trying to do to me?” Not exactly the ‘normal reaction’ a person would give to someone or gesture to someone for actually giving them a gift! Her speech, and lack of social interactions, the fact she always shows up late to her own partys(with no apologies, I might add), and she is also a classic Aspie Mimicker! Notice on the reunion show, Jill(the mean girl, would rather call her otherwise)Jill does her Yenta dramatic act, by sobbing she’s being picked on, does a 1940’s acting exit stage left, probably hoping someone would run after saying, “please Jill don’t go!” and then returns. Few questions later, KKB, tries to do the same thing. Most Aspies are socially awkward and pick up their social “ques” from those around them. And also keep in mind, Aspergers is on the high function end of the Autism spectrum, they are just socially inept, emotionally inept, and un-empathetically inept, through no fault of her own, she’s just wired differently in her brain/mind, and can get behavioral counseling to learn better how to pick up social cues to live a more near normal life, since Aspergers has no cure.
Here’s a link to DSM IV criteria for an autism spectrum disorder. And yes, I realize that Asperger’s is less involved, but it is still (currently) under the same diagnostic umbrella. These criteria do not describe our beloved KKB.
http://www.autreat.com/dsm4-autism.html
I realize that ‘aytpical social interaction’ can be subjective in and of itself. However, if the ability is *ever* present at all, then there isn’t a clinical impairment of that specific trait. Meaning, Kelly is able to interact with at least semi-intelligent women in very social settings on a very regular basis. A person with Asperger’s would leave the neurotypical adults in her wake thinking, essentially, WTF?
I think Kelly is an Aspie too. My son is an aspie & my neice is at the opposite end of the Autism Spectrum and is very low functioning. A mistake alot of people make is that they think to be diagnosed with Autism, a person has to reject social interactions. This isn’t necessarily the case. Both my son & neice engage in social contact. They just lack the ability to connect with others & like Kelly, their conversations are more like broken records than actual give/take communication. The thing that really has stood out to me about Kelly was her inability to reasonably express herself. Back in Season 2’s reunion, when questioned about the “higher/lower” comment about Bethanny, she kept saying she never said Bethanny was underneath her….we all know she did….but as Kelly later explained, she meant it as “we’re different” (horizontal not vertical). All of America misunderstood her b/c she fails to explain herself correctly…and she does things like this A LOT! Another strong sign is Kelly’s inablity to understand when someone is joking & when they are not. She truly believed Bethanny was going to stomp on those grapes….just as she believed Bethanny was being rude when she asked Sonya about being a hooker. She doesn’t get it.
Now, about Kelly’s melt down. Both my son & neice will have occassional melt downs…nothing serious, nothing horrible IF those around them know what to do. If around a Bethanny type, they will esculate their behaviors & carry on for hours. The melt down then becomes because how “mean” the person is…in other words, they are reacting to the person’s anger towards them & are no longer reacting to the issue at hand. This is why Kelly calmed herself with Sonya’s calm monotone voice and why she grew more nutty with Bethanny’s yelling. Kelly was reacting to Bethanny’s anger & responding to Sonya’s calmness. Way to go Sonya! If the situation hadn’t been diffused, Kelly could have really harmed herself or others.
I live in NYC and have met KKB a few times, and we have several mutual friends. Her apparent mental illness is alarming, unsettling and quite surprising. I really hope that Bravo stops using her because she does not seem well-served by the experience of being on reality TV, and the danger to her and her fellow castmates seems non-trivial.
My own experiences with KKB over the past couple of years left me thinking she was OK, but not particularly bright. She speaks with the confidence and tone of someone who is knowledgeable, and yet there is a clear gap between how she sounds and what she knows. She appears to have little understanding of her own limitations.
On a related note, to further the psych theme of this blog, I’d enjoy it if you explored — with a RH bent — some key psychological phenomena. For instance, I’ve been struck by how much projection we’ve seen in the RHONY conclusions. Kelly accusing the other women of being unpredictable and dangerous, when KKB is the most unpredictable of all….Jill asserting that Alex hates her, when it’s Jill who’s actively trying to sabotage Alex and her husband’s livelihoods….Lots of material, obviously. This is a fascinating forum. Thanks for such a compelling read.
I noticed that too!! Isn’t that odd—and they seem to do it ALL the time…personally, I think Jill is a very very insecure and jealous person and her insulting and condescending behavior as well as constantly talking over people is a defense mechanism that comes from that insecurity–KKB…ahhhh, I dunno, needs a therapist who likes a challenge….Did you see any of the “lost footage” episode? Jill couldn’t have tried to sabotage Ally’s attempts at working on her college essays and studying any more if she had actually just gone to the table and sat on her paperwork!!! I think she loves her daughter and her friends, but I think she sees all women as competition and no matter who they are or what they have, she can’t help but want it and go to any lengths to get it—same with KKB–the only way she ever has seemingly gotten ahead in anything is through men, either attention for being somewhat attractive, or marriage or whatever–she sees women as competition and a woman like Bethenny probably does scare her, because B is everything Kelly thinks she is, but knows somewhere inside, she isn’t…she’s not confident, not together, not popular, not witty and not outgoing and that’s why she jumps on anything and everything Bethenney does and is extremely critical no matter what…Jealousy is an ugly thing! Especially with Jill and Kelly!
Kelly tweeted she was going to lunch with Jill Zarin today. Jill tweeted that she was in the Hamptons and going to lunch then the beach. Jill did not share she was meeting Kelly.
Did you see that Kelly Tweeted a picture today (June 22nd) of herself and Jill having lunch ? By the looks of the sidewalk/hedges – I assume they are out in the Hamptons.
But take note of Kelly’s own caption about the photo:
“I admire our friendship so much”. I thought – that was totally the wrong verb choice she used to describe her own feeling about the friendship. ‘Admire’ is something an onlooker would use to describe someone else’s friendship . It was as if she was detached emotionally- looking from the outside in….and not participating.
Aspergers, anyone?
Then I see that others picked up on it as well – take note of the comments:
– …..And Kelly, besides needing to take an English course, learn some posture!
– admire?? try another verb idiot….treasure
– If you studied at Columbia you’d know that you don’t admire your own friendships. You admire others an their friendships and “treasure your friendships”.
-….you really need to learn English — I think you meant “treasure our friendship” how the hell does someone admire their own friendship?
Oh and here is the Tweet picture with Kelly and Jill…..
http://twitpic.com/1z1sjr
I have posted this previously, but on a different page. Just wanted to underscore, her, with respect to postings (re: Asperger’s Syndrome) above :
(1) The literal interpretation of humorously-intended comments is consistent with sociopathy and psychopathy, even in adults who have [otherwise] high intelligence (let alone in someone like KKB, who seems not to possess two brain cells to rub together). Sociopaths do not understand much humor, especially humor based on sarcasm and facetiousness. Sociopaths also fail to “get” irony and/or paradox, both of which are based on situations that are simultaneously-literal-and-figurative as well as on situations that are oddly-right-yet-seem-contrary-to-expectations. Sociopaths are notoriously poor at metaphor and simile, as well. (Again, the difficulty of the literal vis-a-vis the figurative.)
(2) Another aspect of sociopathy and psychopathy, again seen even in highly intelligent persons, is a pronounced trait (cannot call it a “tendency” or a “habit”) of a speaker to BELIEVE whatever he or she says at any given moment, and then to CONTRADICT him or herself as soon afterwards as within the next sentence or two. As I have posted elsewhere on this blog (quoting Hart), the sociopath lacks a certain higher-level organizing logic; the sociopath cannot maintain a “through story,” a consistent and pervasive truth. Indeed, a sociopath cannot even “fake” that sort of logic, because (as with irony), he or she doesn’t understand the concept. It is not as if the sociopath loves opera, and tries to sing, but is lousy at singing; it is as if the sociopath hears opera (my metaphor for consistent, organized, logical thought) and believes that she is “singing” when she is, in fact, reading aloud from Dickens. (Maybe that metaphor is slightly jumbled at the end. If it’s confusing to you, my apologies! Doesn’t mean you’re a sociopath; maybe means my own metaphor could be much better!)
The brain of a sociopath may “bundle” truth into very small, distinct, individual “packages.” If the brain only sees/can access one small “bite” of information at a time, it is unsurprising that a speaker can genuinely believe herself to be “truthful” while others around her are mystified, frustrated, infuriated, and bemused by what are, in fact, a series of essentially unrelated and often wildly self-contradictory ramblings. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, anyone ?
My own supposition (not backed by any credible expert, to the best of my knowledge) is that this inability to meaningfully “compare and contrast” information is related to a sociopath’s lack of empathy — he or she truly does NOT get it that other humans “compare” to himself or herself. (Again, just my own musings. Do not quote that as received knowledge!)
(Also note: This same brain dysfunction is likely related to a tendency that sociopaths share with some very genuinely normal and decent people : a tendency to mis-speak and to mix up words, even words of well-known phrases and sayings.)
It’s entirely possible that some or many of the brain limitations, that contribute to the hallmark behaviors of Asperger’s, overlap with the brain limitations that contribute to the type of noxious mess who becomes a Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Just my opinion. Asperger’s people may be “odd,” but are essentially lovable. KKB is just a narcissistic, dim-witted, entirely disagreeable, toxic sociopath. (But ask me what I REALLY think… LOL…) (And if you took that “ask me” comment literally, and not as humor, then you may sympathize with those who suffer from the brain dysfunctions herein mentioned!)
I agree with your diagnosis, this could possibly be the reasons: She seems like the victim of unresolved, buried feelings. I too wondered about the 1979 reference, Kelly was 11 at the time.
http://absurdtosublime.net/2010/06/19/the-strange-case-of-kelly-bensimon/
As George Costanza said to Jerry Seinfeld just before taking a polygraph test, “it’s not a lie if ‘you’ believe it.” Same thing with Kelly. She actually believes she’s fine, so don’t look for her to seek help or therapy. In her mind, it’s all the fault of others, she is just misunderstood. The only thing is, she’s coming back next season (IMO) cause she can’t resist the cameras. She believes the cameras will vindicate her and save her soul, but she doesn’t realize that the cameras are killing her. Kelly would do well to remember the old addage, “when you’re in a hole, stop digging.”
Tim —
Great observation re: the cameras. I would also add (to Kelly and to Danielle Staub, if either were inclined to recognize or believe the truth) : “Guess what, Dear? We’re not laughing WITH you; we’re laughing AT you.”
This was a great introduction to your blog for me! After reading this and very briefly refreshing myself on schizioaffective disorder (or for Kelly we can just say SAD) I think you nailed it. Though I have to say for me I was thinking more of a classic manic depressive with possible drug use exacerbating the symptoms.
I just don’t think drug use (opiates and stimulants) can be ruled out given the disappearing acts she does in the name of seeking jelly beans and rainbows (possible pet names for the pills?). Could also be editting, although the housewives don’t seem to dispute that she would leave the room each time she seemed to have an episode and reappear “happy”.
Either way, she clearly is incapable of handling what others would deem “normal” if not downright basic social situations and for that there is something wrong with Bravo exploiting her for ratings. I want her off the shows because I believe it is a detriment to her health (ok and selishly my mental fortitude but largely out of concern for her health).
Anyway, always happy to find well-spoken, thought out blogs. I will definitely stop by again. (Thanks to @realoldhousewife for the referral!)
Upon reading the authors conclusion I have something to add. I have written this before as I have seen this behavior first hand. I have worked with children and am mother to a son with Asperger’s Disorder. They repeat what they hear, have ticks (hair twirling), tune you out when they can’t cope with the noise. The noise from all the voice’s are all on the same level and it is hard for them to distinguish the different things being spoken. When they get over stimulated and over stressed they morph into the pschizoaffective disorder that you mentioned above.
The need to shut out the chatter and aggressive behavior overwhelms them. Kelly was on a boat with very aggressive women. Not bullying, but, when an aspie kid needs to tell their story and make their point, they really have a compulsive need to finish their thought and will talk over you to get that point across. If you interrupt their thought, they project and get aggressive back and can’t deal with questioning their opinion. I have even heard the flat line voice that goes deep and becomes frightening. I bet part of what was not shown on TV, that they said was too much for the audience was this deep flat-monotone voice that makes you terrified that imminent danger is coming. To recap – I agree with what you have said, but, it comes from having an autistic spectrum disorder. She should not be on reality TV. Too much stress for her, her children and the co-stars.
“They repeat what they hear, have ticks (hair twirling), tune you out when they can’t cope with the noise.
I believe this is what Alex is referring to when she alludes to Kelly’s use of ‘channeling the devil’ actuall originates from Jill. I wouldn’t put it past Jill to use Kelly as a puppet for her own narcissist feed but that’s another post. As far as the ticks Kelly can’t sit still and she’s often spotted ‘self soothing’. On the reunion you can see her twirling her hair, bouncing her knee, playing with her bracelets. She even admits she tunes people out and that she has trouble with the chatter, white noise.
In addition to being baffled on how she’s currently raising two kids I wonder how she paired up, got married and birthed children. All of that takes skills far beyond what we see she’s capable of managing. I can’t imagine what it was like to be her spouse. How did they talk about things? Come to decisions? Disagree on things? Solve problems? She doesn’t like to talk about feelings, or the past or anything unpleasant. Basically, she’s not an adult. What kind of man would find this type of mate attractive, and attractive enough to start a family with? I mean that as a serious question. I don’t mean physical attraction, I mean attraction in the sense that you feel like a team, equals. Clearly something went wrong because they divorced but I am amazed that this woman was married and is a mother.
I stand by my original statement that I do not believe KKB has any form of an autism spectrum disorder. I’m watching reruns of season 2 right now, and am even more convinced than I was when I wrote my piece a few days ago. In fact, in my professional opinion if any of these women can be considered as possibly having an ASD, it would HAVE to be Ramona. She seemed just now to have zero ability to comprehend anyone else’s POV, particularly when making statements related to emotions and how her comments might be perceived by somebody else. I’m not saying she has an ASD; I’m simply saying that she is far more likely to have one than Kelly. Please again remember that *all I do* in my professional life is diagnose autism and autism spectrum disorders. 🙂
After reading this, and commenting, I tried to find out more about Kelly. I couldn’t find anything earlier than about 2007. Not one picture of her modeling or anything. I did read that her marriage to Bensimmon was “short”. I don’t think he’s the father of either of those kids. Seems like Wiki would have mentioned it if he was. Or IMDB. But then I read an article on D-Listed about Gioia Bruno http://www.dlisted.com/node/37770 and that made me think that although the diagnosis of Kelly here, including mentions of Aspergers, is pretty accurate there is something else going on. It’s that hard look she has. That’s why I tried to find earlier pictures of her, but couldn’t. And I thought if she was married and has Aspergers I think a loving husband would have tried to help. But, a drug addiction? I have run myself and feel this is far more likely. It will be interesting to find what the future tells us about Kelly. Thanks again for the great blog! It’s very entertaining!!
I just checked Wikipedia and it stated that Sea (born in 1998) and Teddy (born in 2000) are both Gilles Bensimon’s daughters. They divorced in 2007 so presumably Kelly and Gilles were married about 10 years. It does mention at the bottom of the page that the bio was updated today so perhaps someone (Kelly???) added the girl’s last name today. Of course, this is wiki so none of it has to be entirely true anyway.
Wow! I must have her kids confused with someone else. I thought those kids were way older. I shouldn’t post during the end of the week, obviously. Thanks Jules!
I commented before suggesting Schizotypal PD, potentially with co-occurring substance-induced psychotic disorder, due to either intoxication or withdrawal (no way of knowing if she was on drugs or withdrawing, but I think evidence points to some type of substance use).
I read over the definition of Schizoaffective Disorder in my DSM and I don’t think it fits. Schizoaffective is only supposed to be diagnosed when there is a disruption of mood (major depressive episode, manic episode, or mixed episode; see criteria in the Mood Disorders section of the DSM) *concurrent* with symptoms that meet Criterion A for Schizophrenia.
One of the criteria is that “the disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.” I think there’s enough anecdotal evidence to suggest some type of substance may be involved, thus potentially disqualifying her for a dx of Schizoaffective Disorder. I also don’t think we’ve seen a true manic or major depressive episode in Kelly’s time on the show.
Here’s an overview of the critera for Schizotypal PD:
A. A pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1) ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference)
2) odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms
3) unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions
4) odd thinking and speech (e.g., vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped)
5) suspiciousness or paranoid ideation
6) inappropriate or contricted affect
7) behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar
8) lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
9) excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self
B. Does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder with psychotic features, another psychotic disorder, or a pervasive developmental disorder.
I’ve worked with clients with different psychotic disorders and have had to do the decision trees a few times. If you need/want to know my qualifications/credentials/what-have-you, feel free to e-mail me.
Kelly also fits the definition of bi polar disorder.
Her behavior on Scary Island fits the manic phase of bi polar disorder:
Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable
Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers
Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
Acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences
Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)
It is clear that she either suffers from a mental illness or is a drug addict and should not be on a reality show for her sake or the safety of the women on the show. She was arrested for physically assaulting a man in 2009. She had to be escorted back to New York on a plane by a Bravo employee after she terrorized four cast mates for several hours. Bravo is lucky no one got hurt. If Kelly does not get treatment, she will physically assault one of her children or cast mates in one of her delusional states. Bravo is clearly exploiting Kelly for ratings. It is not helping her because she even said her mental breakdown which she calls a “break through” on national television “makes for great television.” She clearly can’t see she has a problem so will continue to blame her craziness on systematic bullying unless Bravo does an intervention and refuses to sign a contract with her unless she gets a psychiatric evaluation and receives treatment. I am bored with listening to Kelly’s paranoid ramblings and Jill’s narcissistic tantrums. I will not watch next season if those two mental cases return.
Pingback: Mental Disorders 101
With all respect, I find this discussion, and blog, utterly tasteless and unprofessional. Picking random diagnoses on basis of a heavily edited TV show, using ‘decision’ trees and scanning ICDs, rubbish I say! And yet some of the posters here seem to buy this crap. Critical thinking, anyone?
I am not a professional, I never claimed to have taste and calling my blog “this crap” is hardly what I would call “all respect”. Sorry it is not your cup of tea, I wish you success in finding a blog that is more to your taste.
Here are some blogs/sites I like reading that feature posts about the Real Housewives.
http://thereallyoldhousewivesofmanateecounty.blogspot.com/
http://lynnnchicago101.wordpress.com/
http://absurdtosublime.net
http://mccordvankempen.com
http://www.deathby1000papercuts.com
http://thestir.cafemom.com
http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler
http://thefrisky.com
http://nj.com/entertainment
http://huffingtonpost.com
http://blog.zap2it.com/thdishrag
http://jennsale.gather.com
http://bravogossip.com/
http://www.jezebel.com
http://imstilltoni.com/
http://durangotv.blogspot.com
http://loveandknuckles.blogspot.com
http://www.realitywanted.com/chandra
I like to give a shoutout to good blogs and sites. These are all different and surely one will make you happier.
I also like http://julieklausner.tumblr.com/
not all about housewives but it is great fun!
Any other great housewives blogs/sites out there please feel free to add them :). I firmly believe there is something out there for everyone.
“B-side Blog” does hilarious recaps of the RH episodes. Some are so funny, you start to ache from laughter. Very very funny.
anm, if you re-read my post (which I’m guessing is where you got the ‘decision’ trees part from), you’ll see that I said I’ve used that *with my own clients.* Not on this blog. And they are truly called decision trees in the DSM-IV-TR. Some diagnoses can be difficult to distinguish.
This site is not creating diagnoses that will follow these women around for life. It’s another form of entertainment and, for me, is a chance to brush up on the diagnostic criteria for disorders I may not see often (and sometimes the ones I do see). None of us would give an official diagnosis based on a heavily editeded TV show and what we can glean through the media, blogs, twitter accounts, etc. But we can try to make sense of what we’re seeing through a psychological lens.
anm–you are very rude!! If you don’t agree, state it and move on–but why read it and even spend time to comment if you don’t like what you are reading and don’t agree with it? Totally out of line to insult people–it’s a fairly ordered and calm discussion of something we have all seen–I’m sure there are other sites that live up to your blogging sensibilites, if there are any such things, where you can insult the person who runs it and throws out things for discussion–that is kind of the point of this after all–I don’t think anyone was claiming to be Psychiatrist of the Year or clammoring for a Nobel Prize for blogging! Basic politeness goes a looooong way…
“Wow! I must have her kids confused with someone else. I thought those kids were way older. I shouldn’t post during the end of the week, obviously. Thanks Jules!”
You’re welcome cmg….I hear you about the end of the week. My brain is usually fried by Thursday!
With all due respect to you anm, I think you’re taking this blog a little too seriously. I think there’s been a healthy discussion about various mental health issues, which is always a good thing. I am not a medical professional nor do I take anything anyone writes as fact about any particular housewife. However, as the mother of two teenage boys, one of whom has been diagnosed with clinical depression and the other with General Anxiety Disorder (since he was eight years old), I find the information here educational and a little bit comforting to be totally honest It’s nice to read that others either struggle with such issues or are working to help those struggling.
My judgement (for lack of a better word) of the housewives is based entirely upon the behavior exhibited on the show. I, as I’m sure most posters realize, that this is highly edited so there may be things out of context. But as Bethanny always makes a point of saying, these women say the things they do, no words are put in their mouths. So, they open themselves up for examination by total strangers. The each signed the contract.
Finally, if you find it so tastless, unprofessional and full of crap, don’t come here anymore. It’s a free country, you have the right to delete the url and spend your time with bloggers with whom you agree. God bless America!!
I have exceptional taste and I’m enjoying this blog not only for the opinions about mental and emotional disorders but I also like to dish.
I love Jill’s green shoes, Luann’s hair, kelly’s home decor, alex’s chandelier earrings, bethenny’s chutzpah, ramona’s figure and who could not love sonja’s celebration of sex. So there, exceptional taste and I’m still here with all of you wonderful and smart women and men. This is, in MHO, the best RHW blog.
ROFLMAO!!! Well written Karen Lee, here, here!!
jules, if you really want a laugh there is a blog called realfauxhousewives.com that is off the hook. I don’t know who the owner is but it’s pretty twisted.
I agree that this is one of the most intellectual and interesting discussions of the housewives on the Internet. It is clear that Kelly suffers from some kind of mental disorder in addition to a drug addiction. At the end of the lost footage episode, Andy asked each housewife what they are doing next. The countess talked about her new record deal, Alex her book tour, Bethenny her new show and Kelly rambled on and on about being a mother. What kind of a mother can Kelly be when she is delusional, irrational and can’t even communicate so anyone can understand a word she is saying. It is a good thing that she can afford nannies and the children’s father lives in the same building. I am surprised that she is still walking around after she was arrested for a physical assault on an ex fiancee and had a nervous breakdown on national TV. You’d think Bravo or her family would intervene and help this woman for the sake of her children.
I read somewhere that the person that Kelly assaulted was the guy Max that she was dragging around like her own personal blow up doll. I wish I could remember where I read that.
I have been concerned about her children whatever the condition is that she has–and both schizoaffective and asberger’s are notable diagnoses–but now that you say that Gilles lives in the same building, I feel better. That communicates that he knows very well the situation, and is protecting his children. For all we really know, they spend more time with him. She might say they live with her, but we can’t take her word for it.
This is a great blog, reasonable and fair.
My own dear mother had some mental health issues and when I was about 14 or 15, my dad took me out for driving lessons and explained them to me in a very simplistic way, taking care not to alarm me, but to give me advice and pointers on how to deal with her so as to not become combative with her.
It helped tremendously and my mother and I enjoyed a warm wonderful relationship until her death when I as 53 years old.
I bless my father for his insight and love for her and for me; he was a very wise and loving man. A lesser man might have divorced her but he had made a commitment to her and to his children and he upheld that commitment his whole life. They had a wonderful life together.
I am happy I found this site. Very well spoken in most cases.
I have to bring something up, I guess I may have a more technical memory than some, but Bethany never said that she and Kelly dated the same men. What she said was that the first time she met Kelly was at the Hilfiger home, and that they were both friends with the Hilfigers. Not that they run in the same crowds. She also stated that she was there with her then boyfirend, a Rock-n-Roll photographer. Kelly spoke only to the men and not the women, or very little to the women. B said they have met at many social events, but Kelly never remembers her. In case y’all have forgotten, Sonja re-enforced that when she said in one of the first episodes she was in, that she has met Kelly numerious times in the Hamptons, but Kelly never remembers her. To which Luann, said, yes that happens alot.
Kelly is looking for a husband, and unless a woman can introduce her to a willing victim, she’s not interested in really being friends with other women. She sees other women as competition, unless they are married.
I truly hope that the problems Kelly has can be resolved. That can only happen once she realizes that everyone is not out to get her. But she has to be willing to get help, either mental issues or for drug abuse. But I agree, I don’t think she’s organized enough to hide drug addition. You have to be very smart to get away with drug use over a long period of time. I hope that’s not what is going on.
Thank you all for the well thought out opinions. Brigitte
Hi Brigitte, yes you have to be smart to conceal long term drug use. Most users are not that smart. Kelly could have just started using in the last year, however, I think when she did the ‘I’m up here, you’re down there” to Bethenny that she was using that evening. I had personal experience with drug abuse. I spent two years in the early 70’s in a place called Synanon in Santa Monica, CA. I know the whole hustle, the look, the behavior and the lies. In addition, I have a family member who is diagnosed with SD and she used meth too. She even looks like Kelly, that drawn, thin, sinewy muscular look. Kelly may be sick, but I believe that she is also using. One can stop using but how do you deal with a disorder if you don’t acknowledge it?
With all the speculation concerning Kelly’s possible drug abuse from people who don’t even have actual contact with her I don’t think she’s concealing anything.
Brigitte – I’m so glad you mentioned Kelly’s inability to recognize women she’s met before. I was amazed that two different women on the show had the same experience with Kelly.
She is working on a high school level – other posters have mentioned it – she lacks any maturity and comes across as though she’s 12 or 13. Very sad for a woman of 42. The only way she’s survived is that due to her looks, men are attracted to her. Some men don’t care how smart or mature a partner is so Kelly’s a good fit. She’s always had men take care of her and give her attention for her looks. (Though I think her body is weirdly shaped.)
Hiding a meth habit would have been extremely difficult on that St. John’s trip. She’s probably on something as well as being mentally ill; prescription drugs would be easier to hide.
Love this site!
Do you think Kelly watches Bethanny’s TV show? What about in secret?
When she does, I see a bitterly jealous, aching soul, resenting Bethanny more with every word she speaks. When she sees Bethanny and Jason kiss, she screams to Jason, (thru the TV). “Ewww, you’re letting the tongue-of-a-thousand-little-knives kiss you.” And then she mutters. “You’re not a chef, you’re a ho-bag cook. Nobody I know has ever heard of you.” And yet, she can’t stop watching, late at night, crying in her meth. Drowning in jelly beans.
Now in Jill’s house, that’s different, she watches. In fact she makes Bobby and everybody shut up, unplug all the phones, while she watches Bethanny’s show with pangs of guilt and overwhelming jealousy.. “Bobby, that could have been ME at the Bachelorette party, sitting right there at Bethanny’s side.” then she starts to cry. “Bobby, why didn’t you make me stop holding that grudge. That could have been us, Bobby. You and me at her party in Atlantic City.”
Rich: You need to goto “B-Side Blog”. You’ll cry from Ben’s recaps of the Housewives and other reality shows. They are as hilarious as you are.
I come to angeldevs’ blog for psychotherapy and B-side’s blog for comic relief.
Wow, this really summarizes what we have been seeing in her total denial of her part of the island. It’s a shame her family and friends can not talk her into seeing someone. She needs help before she really hurts someone (although she did to her ex-boyfriend). Thank you for your insite and thoughts, it helps me process the people I see & watch. THANK YOU!
I dated a guy like Kelly, and let me tell you it is a complete NIGHTMARE. The ladies need to be careful. These people can have bizarre reality creating episodes. Ex: The wacko I dated pulled a knife on me and pretended to stab me. He put the knife down and yelled at me that I was psycho. There’s no reasoning with these people. Just agree and leave. I think that it’s almost best that they’re afraid of you because they’ll stay away from you. NEVER drill down and antagonize someone like this. Regardless of the cause (personality, organic, drugs, or all the above) they’ll get defensive and more resistant to treatment and can escalate into a psychotic break. Kelly is narcissistic and from what I know when they’re confronted with reality it’s not uncommon for them to take the schizo route. They play the victim to gain attention if that can’t obtain the admiration they need. It feeds the ego. The more important the person persecuting them the more important they feel. I believe narcissists have the emotional equivalent of a 12 yr old. They have immature defense mechanisms and project. My take is Kelly is projecting her anxiety onto Bethenny. Going after Bethenny this season was Kelly’s attempt at creating her on reality and story line to relieve the anxiety she feels about her arrest and being single. Kelly thinks Bethenny is going to attack her- Kelly punched her boyfriend. She think Bethenny is slut- she posed in playboy. She claims Bethenny is a cook- Kelly’s ability to compete professionally is ?. Didn’t Kelly say at the reunion ‘order in the court’ & the word ‘arrested’ randomly fly out of her mouth. I think the reason she may have popped in and out of the room on the trip is she took court ordered anger mgt classes. Just a guess. I think there is hope for Kelly. She hasn’t transitioned well from married life. It can’t be easy for her to be single after being sheltered by her husband. Clearly he was the glue, and she’s now realizing she’s basically a tool. She seems to be set financially so why she would want to do this show is beyond me. She needs to grow up- fast. I hope her parents step up to the plate or good friend. Psychiatric issues aside she needs to hire a life coach to work with her 24/7, because NYC isn’t going to slow down for her. I think if she saw that she affecting her children she would get help.
KKB is either a real nutcase OR mentally ill OR a great actresss.
I think we won’t find out until next season.
IF she is back on RHONY then Bravo must have decided she is either an interesting nutcase or a great actress.
They certainly will not bring her back if she is mentally ill. Even profits would not induce them to be so morally bankrupt.
It’s not like she has any real supporters on the show. Even Jill, LuAnn and Andy were not connecting with her on the Reunion shows.
As a side note: on RHONJ they are trying to keep Danielle on the show by taping her scenes with wome other than the NJ HW and for my part it isn’t working. I have no interest in watching Danielle schmooz with these other women and try to show us how many friends she has and then we see later that they are not her friends at all, just more women desperate to be on the show.
It’s really too bad that Jill and LuAnn were not on the island as then we would have had definitive proof that they were in sync with the four island girls who lived through KKB’s craziness. As it is, from the subsequent shows, we can deduce that JZ and LD do agree with what BF has been saying all along.
It is true that no matter how KKB’s family feels about her mental health — there is little they can do unless she recognizes a problem and agrees to get help. She is officially recognized as an *adult*. Remember, months went by between the filming of the ‘scary island’ footage and the release of that footage to viewers. That was NOT a good thing.
Yes, Kelly is an adult and all Bravo, her family, friends and ex husband can do is stage an intervention. She will be faced with consequences if she doesn’t get help. Bravo needs to fire her. The father of her children need to seek custody. Her friends and family need to stop enabling her by supporting her blaming Bravo and the four housewives for her breakdown on the island and her battering of an ex boyfriend. If she loses her career, her children, her family and her friends over this, she will either go into rehab for a drug problem and/or get psychiatric help. It is very scary that she is walking around when she doesn’t make any sense in her twittering, her blogs and on the show. She believes she is sane and right and everyone else is crazy and wrong. Bethenny is scared to death of her and won’t return to TRHONYC if Kelly returns. I suspect the others may not feel safe around her either.
Anyone see the lost footage episode. The scene where she works out with Ramona made me think she has Asperger’s or something similar. She was rambling and didn’t even notice that Ramona wasn’t responding to a thing she said.
Of all the blogs, posts, articles, etc, that have been written by and about the Real Housewives of New York , I find the discussion of Kelly Killoren Bensimon’s personna and her “issues”- – absolutely the most fascinating. That being said, this blog about her specifically has been incredibly interesting. Thank you angel !
And, as I peruse the various gossip sites through out the season: Reality Tea, New York Magazine online, Gawker, – – it is the comments that label her with some form of Asberger’s from mother’s, wives, family members, that have been so absolutely compelling and believable. And I have read quite a few. Family members with loved ones who have Asberger’s are ‘picking up’ on something more than the rest of us.
I am not a physician nor have any sort of psyche or medical background, nor do I have a family member who has Asperger’s, but I have a 6th sense atenna that has served me well as a lifelong student of people’s behaviors.
The critical clues about Kelly’s Aspie syndrome are these:
1. Mentioning “white noise”, “chatter”, “zip it”, on the island. Most of Kelly’s breakdown and on camera anxious and aggressive behavior was all about her trying to “stop the talk” specifically.
2. Turning people down to ‘a 2’ when the talking gets to be too much – saying this at the reunion much less!
3. Telling Bethenny to “stop, stop” at the meeting in Ally’s bedroom last year – when she became frustrated and Beth was hardly saying anything – but speaking Bethenney rapidly and little assertive.
4. And finally, her youngest daughter, was on camera two times this season, writing her thoughts down on a pad when interacting with her mom. I never saw this as an innocent child’s game. I strongly think the child has learned to developed that – – perhaps even with Kelly ‘ s help, a tool to communicate or “reach” with her mom – when her mom, Kelly, gets too frustrated and needs to “tune” her kids out. That may even be a private signal or coping mechansim between the daughters and Kelly. Kelly knows as a caring mom that she needs to listen to her kids – – and she may even recognize her own weakness and inexplainable impatience – – – so this is what they have to do when talking. Imagine this: if Kelly has trouble with 2 -3 other Housewives all talking at once – – then it is not a stretch to think that she surely has difficulty with normal, active, talkative little girls in one room trying to get “mom’s” attention – especially when there is no Dad (Gilles) around to help diffuse the “chaotic” moment (talkative kids and normal to the rest of us). Then when Kelly brought the white pad and pen to the island – – and told the other wives that morning in the kitchen – – “to write their complaints down and put them in the fishbowl” – – that idea came from somewhere. That’s what Kelly does at home. And Kelly knew early that day (before the breakdown that evening) that she has trouble with several people talking at once. I suspect that she doesn’t know why – but she has known that she does. That’s where she has trouble with the wives – – it’s not bullying – – it’s not the negativity or the gossip – – it’s just the amount of talk that Kelly cannot process – – and she knows it. She knew it early on before the trip.
That all said, she is dealing with the challenges of Aspergers (mostly likely never not diagnosed) by self medicating. She had anxiety going in to that trip – and she knew she would – but again, not for the on camera reasons (gossip, bullying) she has publically put out there. So she came prepared – to self medicate, (meth, alcohol , or whatever ). And she became overwhelmed with all the “talk” – then she over medicated – and so on. Psychotic episode we all witnessed – thus more medication – more overwhelmed – more medication , and so on.
I know this has been written about before – the trip – her breakdown, perhaps ad nauseum. But I remain incredibly intrigued. All the comments on this thread are riveting. I personally would welcome a continued discussion about Kelly as time goes on. I will continue to ‘watch’ her off season, in the press, for any other clues.
Thanks to all. And again thank you Angel for this blog.
Good call.
Ellabean you convinced me with your excellent post that Kelly probably does suffer from Aspbergers. It is the most reasonable explanation. She lives in her own little world like Aspies do and expects others to celebrate her uniqueness. The problem is she is incapable of accepting others as they are. She should never be on a reality show or in social situations because she has no tolerance for normal conversation and is incapable of communicating coherently with others. She also can’t understand why others do not have the same irrational reasoning as she does. Example, when she said that she supported PETA although she wears fur. She said PETA is against abusing animals and she is not abusing animals but she does wear fur. She’s ignoring the fact that PETA clearly is against wearing fur because animals were slaughtered for the fur she is wearing. She also says she is not contradictory. She changes her mind from day to day. She wears fur today and supports PETA, but might not wear it tomorrow and support PETA. When asked why she claims she doesn’t drink when she has been seen on camera drinking beer and other alcoholic beverages, she admitted she drinks beer and (she named an alcohol I can’t recall) but not every day.
Perhaps she has had some coaching/therapy relevant to coping with Autism which in fact was a misdiagnosis.
I think the reason Kelly keeps her exhusband’s last name is because she would only be an old hasbeen modle without it. And she also calls him her husband not her ex, alot. She makes sure you know she is Kelly Killoren Bensinom. Jill ia Jill ZARIN. LuAnn is the Countess.
In response to Revlon10’s comment: You described someone I know perfectly. She’s a self centered brat with an inflated ego. She so stupid and oblivious that she doesn’t even realize that her “friends” hate her. She’s very dramatic and cries or throws a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way. Also her ego is huge. She seems to think that she’s a star even though she has no talent. I feel embarrassed for her because she would claim that a mutual friend was her best friend but the girl hated her and did nothing but complain about her behind her back. Finally our mutual friend stopped dealing with her because she couldn’t take the drama. This girl is just like kelly in so many ways. She’s as you put it, built like a man. She has to be the center of attention and she hates on other women who do better than her. She works in fashion but she’s all over the place mentally and emotionally. Trying to be a star at other things because she’s just another aging worker bee on 7th ave with no real career and no focus. She thinks she’s cute but she’s shapeless and short with a horrible nose and uncombed hair. She reminds me so much of kelly trying to bring others down because she knows she’s not as good as them.
For a minute I thought you were describing Jill! LOL!! I think they may be interchangeable…totally agree with you re: Kelly and the reason she has no girlfriends…I think that’s why she hates B so much–Bethenney is everything Kelly wishes she was, but knows she isn’t…
That’s it exactly Jen. Kelly and the woman I’m talking about need to put other women down because they feel threatened by them. Its a constant battle to one-up other women’s achievements. In fact this woman tries to copy other women who are better than her just to prove to herself that she’s just as good. Especially in her career where she tries to work for the same companies and achieve the same title. Notice how kelly made that drink. She wasn’t interested in going into the food and beverage biz until she met bethanny. Bethanny is good at that so kelly had to prove she was good at it too.
Absolutely! That’s why Kelly was so confrontational on the vacay—totally surrounded by what she wants to be—I do think that she is also suffering from a mental illness and/or drug addiction too, jealousy can’t explain the paranoia and complete delusion she has about events that have happened and we all saw—but it’s so obvious how she interacts with men and the way she attacks other women–she is very hard on the women and plays (maybe?) dumb and ditzy around men. Although, she is completely up Jill’s butt and does anything Jill wants her too, like a kid trying to please a parent–weird!
btw, I hope you don’t have to hang around the woman in your life you were noticing these characteristics in, too much–she sounds like a walking nightmare! =(
Lol Jen. Gurl you don’t know the half of it! She and I go way back to college days. We studied and worked together but thankfully I got away from her and her drama and stopped dealing with her. I’m far, far away from her now where she can’t check up on me to see what I’m doing so she can try to do it too. She also can’t disrupt my life anymore with her dramatic personal disasters and crying fits. Sometimes I have to be in NYC for work but I make sure I steer clear of her panic attacks and undercover bitchiness.
I have to say I have found this “ordeal” with Kelly endlessly fascinating. I have read a
multitude of blogs and comments about her, not to mention reading her twitter page. But it occured to me today, not only do people not seem to like her personality..they also most often speak of her intelligence, or lack there of. And if I may offer a comment on “crazy”…Being diagnosed Bi-polar myself and having gone through many experiences in my journey to become “well”…I have had the pleasure and I will say honor of meeting others diagnosed with various mental illnesses…and many, if not most, were extremely intelligent, insightful, artistic, gifted,kind, funny, thoughtful and generally could be a total pleasure to be around if not in the depths of their disease. My question or pondering is..through all I have read, people are mostly not picking up any quality in her that over shadows their dislike for her? I would like to hear some other thoughts on that. But also I must say, when I read and hear in the news quite frequently..oh they must be Bi-polar..without people really knowing what that entails..it is a little painful. However, I have learned I, personally, am much more than the disease…as are many people labeled with mental illness. I understand we, the public, and whoever, arent’ really labeling her with the specific disease of bi-polar, but whatever the mental illness label is…MOST have very likable qualities. These people we call our friends, and family members we love, are not always people we need to fear or think less of. Now don’t get me wrong…I’m not finding likable qualities about Kelly either, and thats what is odd to me..I’ve learned to look beyond the illness for the real person…and I think thats why she is so puzzling to me. I think the strange or unexplainable thing to me,is,, too, that in spite of so many people discussing and spewing awful things about her…she continues to put her self out there to receive even more hateful remarks. Of course, I’m not being paid for a reality show and I don’t really know how that works, but I would definately take a few steps back or frankly be ready to shoot myself.( only an expression!) And where are her friends and family to repute any of this? I can’t help but think if she were my daughter or friend, I would not leave her out there to fight this on her own…but maybe that’s just me. OR are we all just being taken for a very big reality show ride!!
I agree with you wholeheartedly, as someone who suffers from deppresion. But I also take extreme pride in the fact that I sought help on my own. I realized something was wrong and looked for help until I found the right person. Kelly is a grown up and has two children, I find her behavior alarming and SCAREY!!! I wouldn’t let her near my children. She or someone near her needs to recognize the problem, bc I think it could end in a major disaster!
sweetviolet — Interesting comments/musings.
I stick to my own guess that Kelly most closely fits the criteria for “narcissistic sociopath.” The typical “likable quality” that is common to sociopaths is a certain surface charm. However, because the “charm” is a product of calculation — rather than a product of spontaneous and genuine warmth, kindness, and empathy — that “charm” requires intelligence (necessary for the mental calculations). Thus, highly intelligent sociopaths can create an artificial charm, as if they are actors in a scene. However, the sociopath is not good at improvising (as he or she doesn’t really understand the “plot” of human interactions), and the sociopath is certainly not at all good at creating fake, “theatrical” charm in a scene that goes on too long or that contains unpredictable other characters (too many “lines” for the sociopath to memorize and to mentally sort through and apply at the right moments, and too many possibilities for missed cues by self and others).
The unintelligent sociopath (Kelly Killoren Bensimon) lacks the intellectual capacity to create a complicated, fake “charm.” This leaves the unintelligent sociopath with virtually no “likable” qualities — unless, of course, he or she (cough*Kelly*cough) is seen by others as being physically attractive and/or wealthy and/or of socially high status. And I would argue that while qualities such as good looks and/or wealth do qualify as “likable,” in certain sense, they are nevertheless not “endearing” qualities. (Sociopaths often are good at manipulating through guilt, but that is hardly a “likable” quality. And, too, such machinations require more intelligence than Kelly has — although we have witnessed her embarrassing and quite unsuccessful attempts to make everyone feel sorry for her, and to feel guilty.)
Therefore, what we see in Kelly Bensimon is a dim-witted, self-centered, maladjusted, pathological twit. If she were a self-centered, INTELLIGENT twit, then she might be able to fake some superficial charm, at least for small bursts of time. (Maybe men see her as “charming,” at times, but women do not.)
As to Kelly’s willingness to expose herself, that seems completely consistent with her inability to see herself realistically. She thinks that she comes off well. The hubris of a true narcissist. (The whole naysaying, “hateful” orchestra of public opinion is out of tune; Kelly’s screeching reed is the only instrument that is “true,” she believes.) There is, in her mind, no actual risk, no downside, to public exposure — she actually believes that “more is better,” that to see her MUST be to love her. res ipsa loquitur
WoW, Janean, now that’s an explanation I could find hard to argue against! Plus, to my embarrassement, the “twit” references did make me laugh. Plus who says a person can’t learn something new everyday…
the thing speaks for itself!!
Good job…I’d like to see what others have to say about this explanation…Angel, Lex, drscrewylewy(I think)!!
Well, thank you! Of course, it is all meant to be read “cum grano salis” !
I think you’re onto something there. She travels in circles of highly functioning, generally good looking people, and I think the readers of this blog seem to be intelligent people as well, keeping the level of comment mostly rational and deliberative and respectful. We also probably travel in circles of people who are intelligent, highly functioning and well put together. When we see someone who looks like what we assume to be ‘successful’ we have a harder time seeing how dumb they can truly be.
Kelly, why do you hate me?
Thanks for the giggle.
I think I had something to do with that…..
After reading all the comment just want to say I don’t think drugs are a major part of Kelly’s behavior. As others have pointed out, her looks have not deteriorated as would be the case if she were a heavy meth/cocaine user. Major mental illness is much more likely. It could be that she has turned to meth/coke to be extroverted enough to do the filming. And her looks are starting to change, along with the characteristic lack of hygiene. I have been reviewing Kelly comments and came across this quote: “when I was fifteen, I was voted the most charitable person in my area.” When I heard her say that I knew there was something really wrong with this woman’s brain to make such an odd statement. Asperger’s sound right to me.
I don’t think it is Aspergers because a lot of people with that disease are highly intelligent and just have problems socially interacting with others.
Although I don’t find Kelly attractive I don’t want to participate in the name calling or referring to people’s looks as ugly. That has nothing to do with behavior or disorders and I don’t understand saying that someone is nuts or crazy. These women get bashed enough on other blogs that are meant to be snarky and funny but I believe that Angel created this blog so we can have a glimpse into what disorders some of them may have. I’m always up for a laugh but I think it’s mean to call some of them ugly or crazy (on this blog) and I don’t want to become the mean girls that we say abhor on the RH.
Hi Karen – I absolutely agree with you. On my post I stated that I thought she was either 1. a nutcase 2. mentally ill or 3. a very good actress. Clearly, I do not use the word ‘nutcase’ to denote mental illness. I think we are all capable of acting like a ‘nutcase’ from time to time, but Kelly seems to act nutty all the time, unless of course she has mental illness or is acting. Of course, drugs can absolutely make you act ‘nutty.’
That being said I think angelofdevs’ blog along with all of the discussion is very relevant in todays society. In just under 2 weeks a group of people was able to interact online and drill right down to the relevant behaviors and the attendant explanation. That is amazing!
If anyone would DARE — please give us an opinion as to the mental health of our President Barrack Obama. There is plenty out there to use in the diagnosis. I have my own opinions, but I don’t have any training, just my gut.
Oh puhleeze. Don’t even go there. You know this blog is not intended to discuss that. If we did, we’d be here for months discussing the lack of mental acuity, mental health, and sociopathic behaviors of prominent right wing leaders and right media heads that have negatively impacted our government, policy, lack of progress, and sadly, public opinion for months – no years.
Let us continue to have an amicable and peaceful discussion about silly reality show characters.
ellabean- clearly it would need to be a different blog to discuss Obama. I’m sorry that I did not specifically state that; guess I just assumed it would be logical as you are correct in that it is not being appropriate for this blog. My bad.
As for this blog, it is MHO that it has pretty much run its course and won’t be active again unless/until KKB appears on RHONY next season or some other similar venue.
I don’t have any objection to discussing ANY public personality, no matter what their personal political leaning, so don’t just assume that I am a right wing idiot who blames it all on the left.
What I find so fascinating is that there has never been a President who is in our face so constantly/consistently. There is no matter too small for him to discuss. In the very least, he has ADD as he can’t seem to concentrate without getting distracted to another one of his *major* goals.
Still had to get the ADD thing in, I see. Hmmm. So a former head of Harvard Law Review has ADD ? You must be thinking about our former president, the dry drunk.
I feel that when Kelly refers to 1979, it could be the year Kelly was commited to a hospital.
Amateur RH, I wasn’t speaking to any one person nor do I want to sound like I’m better than any one else here. I apologize for leaving that impression. I certainly laugh when I read blogs about the HW that are meant to be funny and some that are down right crass I still laugh at. I just thought when we’re discussing their psychology I didn’t like seeing them called crazy or ugly. I’m pretty certain that’s not in the books.
I dated a psychotherapist for a while and I asked him if he ever wanted to shout STFU to any of his clients, if even in his head. He said no and I believed him. I personally would like to try and show that same sensitivity here, at least from me.
Yes, Karen, I get it. I, also, don’t want anyone to think I’m getting my rocks off by name calling.
I’m a great believer in discussion. I think many voices brought to the table really clarify issues.
My thanks to everyone who participated in this blog and I think we all did a pretty good job of staying on task and not being catty.
Kelly indeed has problems, but for me they don’t seem so complicated. She is just plainly unintelligent dumb person and when “trapped” with group of intelligent people who are trying to interact with her beyond “hi, how are you” she clearly feels she doesn’t belong and instead of laying low she snaps (island vacation). She said herself she only shows up for parties for few minutes. This way she doesn’t have to carry a conversation with anyone (not capable of that). St. John vacation for her it was the first time she was somewhere with group of women. She doesn’t have girlfriends because she has nothing to offer besides her looks. She is liked by men – they like to look at her, but I doubt any of them actually listening her gibberish talk. Her vocabulary: It seems to me she just opens the dictionary form time to time, learns some long words and than uses them randomly to pass as educated. Her comprehension skills are close to zero. When she got married in her twenties being immature, silly and stupid might have been perceived as cute, but in 40 it is just what it is being a “humpty dumpty”. Her daughters seem more mature and smarter than she is. I don’t blame her when she gets defensive when she realizes everyone around her sees her lack of IQ. She could hide among models in fashion world, but she tried to get out of those circles and now she is lost.
Based on her example now I believe that one can achieve wealth and success based purely on looks and hard work, no brain needed.
Well-said!
Your blog is genius!! You really should do one on Jill Zarin!! I think she really was ridiculous this past season and really showed some evidence of someone who was taken away by fame. Seriously!
Gavin: she has done Jill. Click on the upper right on The Real Housewives of NY.
I get nervous when I read comments like, I can’t wait until you give us the personality disorder of Caroline or Alex or Crazy Lynn, etc. Because you have a psychology degree, you sound like someone who seriously believes these women have personality disorders and are not just assigning each housewife a personality disorder for fun. Just because a woman is on a reality show doesn’t mean she has a personality disorder. Some reality stars are just neurotic, alcoholic or drama queens wanting to break into show business.
I think people are starting to go a little overboard on the “holier than thou” highway…clearly it is a blog for entertainment as the person who throws it out for us to read and comment on states very clearly at the beginning…if individuals can’t read and comment freely and jointly or it’s bothering others who are reading it, perhaps this isn’t the blog for you…maybe you should search out a more highbrow discussion of reality stars…but don’t rain on everyone’s parade…for the most part, it hasnt’ been a high school slam session–but just out of curiosity, if you don’t enjoy the drama and shock value of what gets written, why are you a fan of RHONY to begin with?
Jen, if you were responding to me, I think you misread my post or I didn’t make myself clear. If you have read any of my other posts you will see that I have said this is the most intellectual site on the housewives show and like Angel, I like to analyze the women’s behavior but unlike Angel I do not have a psychology degree so I am not qualified diagnose anyone. Although Angel has a disclaimer that this is for entertainment, her analysis of each housewife is very thorough and professional. She studies their behavior for a long time before she decides which personality disorder fits each housewife. She is clearly educated and qualified to diagnose personality disorders. I don’t see any drama or shock value in anything she has written. I don’t believe she will diagnose any housewife with a disorder if in her educated opinion she does not have a disorder.
In my other posts, I have said that I don’t find it entertaining to watch women getting drunk and acting like 12 year olds screaming at each other and pulling hair. I think Bravo is shameless in pushing alcohol. encouraging catfights for ratings and exploiting women with mental illnesses like Kelly, Danielle and Theresa. I have also said that I watched this last season of RHONY because I liked Alex and Bethenny but if they are both leaving the show next season I will not watch. I cannot stand Jill, the Countess and Kelly and I believe both Ramona and Sonja are alcoholics.
In a nutshell, what I was saying in my first post was that Angel cannot pull a diagnosis out of her hat. We cannot tell her what housewife to analyze because only someone with a psychology degree is qualified to tell if someone has a personality disorder.
I’m excited to have found a great blog about these Real Housewives characters, & I’m going to read each & every post. I particularly get a kick out of the NY housewives & their unbelievable catty behavior this season, but as for Kelly Bensimon, I have to say I find her one-facteted, & having been a young woman in the “fabulosity” crowd for too many years, has gotten away with it! She thinks & acts as if she is still in her 20’s, & when confronted by women her age with any depth or maturity, she reverts to defensive, childish & sometimes outlandish behavior. People (mostly men, who will fawn over anything a beautiful young woman says) have accepted her for years now, and I think this experience with the other housewives is probably the first time she has had to befriend or spend more than 20 minutes with women!
She seems to have a certain power in the social circles of New York City. When Kelly Ripa (of Regis & Kelly) was questioned on air about one of her crazier moments, she sprung to her defense, saying she was nice & perfectly normal.
Who knows if she will ever have to grow up? Her daughters seem to have passed her up already, but this seems to be the case with most of the housewives!
She now seems to be trying to take on Bethanny’s job – see link below. Maybe this is the problem, a lack of enough nutrition to support her in a healthy manner?
http://www.hollywoodnews.com/2010/07/02/do-you-care-what-kelly-bensimon-ate-today/
I noticed that. Ramona had her menu photo of lunch she served July 3 on twitter. Sonja has always had her toaster oven book and Bethenny her books but NOW we have Ramona and Kelly telling fans what they eat. Are the fans asking for this info?
Oh, I forgot Jill Zarin posted her July 4th menu and how to cook it on JillZarin.com. LOL
What do you think of Kelly and Jill Zarin lunching together and hanging out this summer in the Hamptons? They clearly have little in common.
I think Kelly looks to Jill as a mother figure. Jill wants to ‘mother’ her friends and Kelly fits the bill for her.
I find it amazing that a ‘psychologist’ would go on line and give a medical diagnosis why Kelly or anyone acts a certain way WITHOUT seeing her as a patient. All you are doing is giving an OPINION and you know that opinions are like a______s , everyone has one. You should be stopped.
“Once again I do have a psych degree but I am not a practicing psychologist. These posts are intended for entertainment purposes only”
I think Angel is pretty clear on what are and are not her qualifications and the purpose of this blog.
Could you please clarify what exactly you would like to see “stopped”?
LOL. Are you related to Kelly?
I find it amazing that some posters take this blog so personally. angelofdevs is giving an “opinion” based upon the degree in psychology she earned. Why is this so difficult for people to understand. Angel clearly states at the beginning of each blog that this is for “entertainment purposes only”. It’s not as if she can force anyone into treatment. I have found this blog extremely entertaining and educational and even see some of these traits in myself but I’m not taking it personally. Geez Louise, Jeanne1, lighten up a little and have some fun. Noone is forcing you to read this blog so if you don’t like it, leave!
I agree with you…I also earned a degree in psych way back in 1977, many disorders have been diagnosed since, so I wouldn’t presume to absolutely know what is going on with Kelly.
I find this blog to be interesting and entertaining, & kudos to Angel for writing a blog that has some depth. All these women have some sort of personality tweek (disorder?!), and I love reading what others think.
I think the New York housewives are the mot intriguing of all…I just recorded the entire first season, & it amazes me just how much things have changed with ALL of them!
yeeeeeaaa! agree!
Jeannie1 writes just like Kelly and just like Kelly she can’t comprehend what she reads.
Isn’t she AMAZING!
Am I the only one that found it so odd that when betheny put tp he bag at her door with all the goodies in it being nice that, Kelly started to cry and then called Jill saying she could not take Betheny anymore? I found that to be so telling that there was a mental issue going on.
No Marie, I found it odd too. I actually watched it twice to make sure I didn’t miss something. Kelly said something about everything in the bag being labelled with the “Skinny Girl” then collapsed on the bed crying. Who does that?!?!? Besides, I don’t think it was true because Alex was wearing the hat in her bag and it didn’t have “Skinny Girl” on it. Kelly has complained many times about the HW’s using the show to market their products or companies. She finds this insulting on some level but I’m not sure why. She’s said something to the effect that the show is supposed to be about these woman and their lives but if that’s true, why shouldn’t they talk about their respective jobs? I don’t know if it’s because Kelly herself has nothing to market or what but it’s just one more thing about her behavior that baffles me.
Based on my experience with Narcissist… even though Kelly runs in certain circles she didn’t earn what she has. Post divorce she’s realizing that it takes a lot more than a ‘hiiiiiii’ and a short skirt to make it. I believe she accused of stealing a designs from someone for her jewelry line. Bethenny’s bag was a reality check, and it caused her to flip out. It’s not uncommon for Narcissits to take the schizo route. If they can’t gain attention from being succesful they’ll make up stories about being staked, attacked, bullied, etc. to feed their ego. The more important the person prosecuting them the better. Plus she gains attention from being a victim. Also, being a victim is a way of manipulating people. It’s pretty much covert aggression. Something that I believe Sociopaths do (someone pls feel free to comment) is they make you out to be evil so it clears their conscience to victimize you. It’s plays out in their brain as if you deserved what you received.
Sounds as if you HAVE “been there” ! Your analysis all checks out, as far as I’m concerned. It really is all about attention, power, and control for the narcissist — who feels little or no positive emotion (affection, empathy, love), and who seeks the alternative “feeling” of triumph/power/control/WINNING. (Note that it’s always easiest to “win” at any game for which one can set one’s very own, personal, idiosyncratic rules. Even better if one can change the rules at any moment to benefit oneself. Suits a narcissist well.)
angelordevs—you just have to read this, I just stumbled across it:
http://littlemissnarcissist.wordpress.com/
I found it interesting that Littlemissnarcissist, who calls herself an armchair psychologist with no credits, rated the housewives sanity in this order of most sane:
1-Bethanny
2-Jill
3- Alex
4- LuAnn
5- Ramona
6- Kelly
I can’t comment on sanity but I would rank the order of the most well adjusted housewives on the last season of RHONY:
1- Alex because she confronted Jill on her behavior and wouldn’t back down even when Jill tried to saboutage her job of RHONY and her husband’s career and was very compassionate and supportive of Bethenny in her time of need.
2-Bethenny because she sees her bad childhood has affected her relationships, she can laugh at herself and is seeing a psychologist to make sure she is a good mother and wife.
3-Ramona because despite her addiction to wine could see what was going on with Jill and Kelly and was compassionate and supportive of Bethenny because she too had a bad relationship with her father.
4-LuAnn because even though she is self involved and pretentious, she did not enable Kelly at the reunion and clearly told her she instigated every incident on the island.
5-Jill because she is totally narcissistic, enabling Kelly and unable to see her own faults and sees herself as the victim when she is the perpetrator.
6- Kelly because she is clearly suffering from a mental illness and/or is a drug addict.
I believe she wrote that last year, I think a lot of minds were changed during the current season as more behavior was observed from each of the housewives.
I think its a fun blog though. I wish she would update.
Pingback: Housewives Shrink «
I am guessing that Kelly’s parents have always been aware of her psychological state and provided a very sheltered, protected, structured environment which she took for granted, where she was able to feel “normal.” In her interview with Samantha Ettus, she mentions she was in a high school class of 20 (private day school), she mentions having a driver from age 23 until recently who was more than a driver (guardian maybe?) , she mentions that as a model she had lots of people watching over her and taking care of her, her exhusband lives in the same building and she has more than one nanny for two children. I have always heard borderlines and antisocial personality types do not respond well to therapy and I would imagine that her “caretakers” will continue to shelter her and throw money at her problems.
Wow… this is really an eye-opener….great insight.
Pingback: RHONY’s Ramona Singer – Cyclothymia (Cyclothymic Disorder) | A Real Housewife's View
Pingback: RHONY’s Jill Zarin- The Classic Narcissist | A Real Housewife's View
Pingback: RHONY’s LuAnn de Lesseps – Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder | A Real Housewife's View
Pingback: RHONY’s Bethenny Frankel- Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder | A Real Housewife's View
Perfect example of paranoia:
http://www.prettyandstupid.com/perm/1075
She is definitely also guilty of word salad.
http://www.prettyandstupid.com/idiot/176
It’s nice to have all the “evidence” in one place. 😉
ahhhhhh very good, bookmarked 🙂 keep it up, JusyKassy. http://www.flightsrhodes.org
Have you seen her recent interview with ET? When asked if she is crazy or not, her response was, “Crazy sells.” To me, those two words encapsulates everything wrong about reality TV and our whole society. I don’t want to go off on a rampage, but she is so intoxicated with fame, it’s really disgusting.
I think it is unprofessional to try to diagnose someone who is under the influence of drugs. Until one can rule out that Kelly was not under the influence of say, coke and Aderol or crashing from something and experiencing the “normal” withdrawal symptoms (paranoia, detachment, etc) it would seem irresponsible and unethical for a psychology professional to proffer an opinion as to mental illness or disorder. To me, she seemed to be crashing or experiencing side effects from drug use, but I am just a tv watcher and not a professional. I have seen a lot of people crashing and high and they do act like she does at times, even worse. I am not saying she was using drugs, only that she appeared to act in the same way that some or many people do when they use drugs. This could be entirely coincidental, if she did in fact, say, have a mental disorder…Bravo did say she was taken to the hospital by the producers, so someone knows. I don’t think they could say it on the air though because of legalities. That was what the Bravo guy said when asked if she was on drugs, that even if she were he could never say on the air. I take that as a yeah. They are lucky she didn’t hurt someone out of paranoia, that’s what I think. Someone in treatment somewhere could use that footage someday when she’s working a first step. Creepy, good word for it Kelly, Creepy.
Clearly, you have no concept of what a “blog for entertainment purposes” means.
Does no one bother to read my disclaimer? I am not a professional.
LOL, people are funny, aren’t they?
I think BRAVO should drop Kelly from the show. Kelly cannot handle the discussions with the wives and is more scary to watch than entertaining. Kelly handles running, ridding horses,and surfing in the Hamptons very well. She is like a teen that never matured. Her X gets her modeling gigs and that makes her happy too. Kelly should stick to that life and get off this show.
I agree, Bravo needs to dump Kelly . . . although I’ll miss watching the crazy. Did anyone else catch it when Kelly lied and said that the producers had to pull Bethenny aside and tell her to lay off Kelly? Bethenny said, “that never happened.” But no one commented on that because about 5 other conversations were going on at the same time.
Let’s add pathological liar to the list of Kelly’s afflictions.
this website is a gem…a guilty pleasure like watching RHW…I am enjoying the conversations and analysis mostly b/c I have wondered what is UP with these chicks…I am fascinated, probably a little more than I should be, but it is an entertaining distraction;) thanks for the insights…
KELLY, IS OUT OF CONTROL, SHE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE ON AIR. SHE CLEARLY DOES NOT LIKE WOMEN, SHE IS JEALOUS OF ANOTHER WOMAN CAREER. SHE IS A BIG TIME LIAR, SELF-CENTERED, AND JUST PLAIN WEIRD. SHE TALKS ABOUT HER LINE OF PRODUCTS, SHE STOLE THE OWL DESIGN FROM A FRIEND THAT WORKED WITH HER ON IT. SHE BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HER EX-BOYFRIEND, CLAIM TO SONJA THAT SHE BAARELY KNEW MAX, BUT LAST SEASON MAX WAS AMAZING, HANDSOME,
INTELLIGENT AND A VERY CLOSE FRIEND. KELLY CLEARLY CAN NOT HANDLE BEING AROUND WOMEN HER OWN AGE, SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO SPEAK, ACT OR HOLD A DECENT CONVERSATION WITH THEM. KELLY IS NOTHING WITHOUT HER EX-HUSBAND NAME, SHE SPEAK ABOUT GILES LIKE THEY ARE STILL MARRIED. THE PICTURES IN PLAYBOY WAS TAKEN YEARS AGO BY GILES, NOT LAST YEAR. FRANKLY, SHE IS NOT A VERY STABLE WOMAN, SHE CLEARLY IS JEALOUS OF BETHANNY AND HER SELF MADE CAREER, SHE IS THE ONE WHO COULD STAB BETHANNY TO DEATH. ON THAT TRIP, I THINK SHE WAS TRYING TO MAKE BETHANNY LOSE HER BABY, NOTICE HOW SHE TREATED HER THE WHOLE TRIP. SHE BULLIED BETHANNY FROM THE FIRST NIGHT ON THE BOAT. PLEASE DO NOT WRITE TO ME ABOUT ALL CAPS, I AM ALMOST BLIND, IT’S THE ONLY WAY I SEE WELL.
I am happy to see your revised assessment on Kelly. Based on what we’ve observed, I would diagnose her the same way. She may be dually diagnosed as schizoaffective and drug addicted. I am so concerned for her and the well being of her children. The stress of this show isn’t good for her and will cause her to further decompensate. Of course, she has no insight and will only get help if forced to do so. I hope her ex husband steps in as this is a tragic situation for this family and a woman who doesn’t appear capable of being fully responsive to her young daughter’s needs. A plea to Bravo… please release Kelly from her contract with you. While you are at it, release Danielle too as she is a dangerous and manipulative sociopath. No good can come from the chaos she seeks to create– it isn’t a ratings game when you have someone so volatile and completely devoid of a conscience. Suz
I also am a mental health professional with a master’s in clinical counseling psychology, and currently pursuing my PhD in clinical psychology. I’m glad to know there are other people in the same field that sit there and watch the real housewives series and try to identify mental disorders.
That being said, I don’t understand why you would would give Kelly a schizoaffective diagnosis. Her symptoms are much more consistent with bipolar I disorder. It appeared she was in a full blown manic state during the episode. She presented with delusions and paranoia, she was erratic, impulsive and overall agitated. I was unable to identify her speaking of hallucinations or indicating she was responding to internal stimuli (which must occur with a schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorders). Schizoaffective disorder requires two separate periods of time that the individual experiences hallucinations and another separate occurrence of bipolar symptoms (usually mania). These two sets of symptoms cannot occur at the same time or be superimposed. I just wanted to put that out there and see what others think.
Possibly she may also have a personality disorder, but, I have been more focused on the Axis I diagnosis.
One more thing, the disorganized speech (her not making sense) and tangentiality (jumping from subject to subject, having difficulty staying on topic) can also be found in individuals with bipolar disorder, in both manic and depressive states.
The issue of 1979 is interesting: psychologists say that when people have been traumatized, they will remain fixated at the emotional age they were when the trauma occurred; all growth stops. I think that whatever happened to Kelly stopped her evolution at whatever age she was in 1979 (14 or 15?); that’s why she acts like such a teenage mean girl, alternately bullying others and then blaming them when they defend theselves, always making herself the victim.
You know what, (10 years later) I think of her more as a bullied child who wants desperately to appear as if she was the bully. (Why can’t I quit you, Scary Island??)
I really agree with some of your other diagnosis(es?) on your blog, but I really don’t think Kelly is crazy or anything close to that. I think she’s kinda dumb and not used to fighting. She has said that she is not used to being around such “aggressive” women. And I think everyone can agree that group really is, and the modeling world probably is not so much.
If you went back to season one, you would see that Bethenny jumps on anything and everything she says or does. In interviews, Bethenny has said that when they wanted to bring Kelly on the show, she objected to it. Apparantly Kelly hit on a boyfriend of Bethenny’s, and B can’t let it go.
The “satchels of gold” reference is actually something Bethenny said to Kelly – she told her that she thought that life was all rainbows and lollipops and silk satchels of gold. However, Bethenny did not admit this, and let the audience believe that Kelly was nuts. The “Al Sharpton” comment was just ignorance, she didnt’ know that Bethenny was impersonating Jack Nicholson. My grandmother wouldn’t get the reference either.
Unfortunately, Kelly is gorgeous and 6 feet tall with two healthy children, an established career, an awesome apt in NYC, and an unbelievable house in the Hamptons. She also rides horses and has the attention of many men. And she honestly likes herself. I think all of this is simply too much for Bethenny to handle – it’s everything she wants but didn’t have.
Ramona has commented on how jealous she is of her height. She’s also without a man, and seems to be fine with that – and I think most of those other housewives are not OK being man-less.
What I am trying to say is, the other housewives are overly critical of her, and I think it’s purely out of jealousy. I would love to be Kelly, I can understand the jealousy.
It is upsetting to know that Bravo is not going to take the high road by dismissing Kelly from RHNY this season. I wanted to make a comment about Rachel Zoe. I thought Kelly’s discussion would be the most appropriate place since these two are in my opinion the most dangerously mentally ill of all the Bravo reality stars. Just watched this weeks show and see where they are going with her show. She has called herself suffering from “vertigo” when they are really talking about anorexia. The fear in her eyes as she discusses having a baby is real and she must be terrified of the thought of having to eat in order to have a baby. Pressured by Roger and Bravo for next year’s story line a la Bethany, what will she do? Would love for you to analyze Rachel. This woman is so thin I’ll bet she hasn’t had a period in years. Will she try to get pregnant or will this be another housewive’s divorce? I think she is the most narcissistic woman I’ve ever seen. Has Roger been to one to many fashion shows? I think it is sick for Bravo to entertain us with these seriously mentally ill women.
Would love to know others opinions. If this is an inappropriate comment here, please delete. Thanks.
KKB is a poor man’s Elle MacPherson – who was married to Giles Bensimon before KKB – her looks and success must infuriate KKB!
Like james said it is correct
when people speak in random phrases, does it occur to you that they may be visually orientated (which she obviously is, like most designers) and that feeling of someone out to get here ‘without any proof’ could easily be bad vibes from someone toward her who clearly would like to kill her but fake smiles instead and she can pick up on that with her intuition and 6th sense? I have looked at her astrology and she is a taurus, very classic textbook what you see is what you get, and I believe her claims of being down to earth. Also the taurus can have a huge amount of anger and temper issues which simply come from their docile nature being underestimated, that turns when others try to boss them around or play games. Her moon is in gemini, which is very changeable and one may think they see ‘2 different people’ which is possible. Also the air can be very chatty and nervous even. She has her venus in aries, which by nature aries does love combat and leadership. I think you haters are barking up the wrong tree. But in the end, she may be laughing all the way to the bank as as she has said, drama increases ratings. I think in USA too many people are looking for ways to give more people psych meds…..none needed in her case. She is creative and productive, end of.
dear CMCW~
LOL
you are almost as crazy as Kelly.
have you watched the show?
have you seen just how nuts she is?
LOL
sorry, you are nut going to change any of our minds
LOL
I completely agree with you – Bethenny did not want her on the show before she started, from the first episode she WAS on, Bethenny went on about how she hit on her boyfriend and didn’t remember her – Bethenny has tried to marginalize her with all the other women to suit her own feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.
And I think KKB has not had to deal with “snakes in the grass” like this – she even said on the reunion show that she’d never met such an ambitious group of women before. On the boat, as soon as she opened her mouth, Bethenny would jump on ANYTHING she said – then try to get the other women to fall in line with her.
And in the end, I think that KKB realizes that Bethenny is just a short, bullying little troll who is very unhappy with herself and resents everything that KKB has.
When people act like Kelly it doesn’t mean they are creative and misunderstood; it means they have a mental illness. Geeze.
DRUGS.
I have watched most issues of the Housewives of NY, thank you Jacqueline Laurita for taking your time to enlighten us. I appreciate your time and knowledge. As for me I am sure you have hit it right on the nose.
Now if we can only figure out why Kim from the Atlanta Housewives thinks she can sing everything would be right with the world lol.
Thank you, thank you! If you read lots of the blogs all you get is poor Kelly – so misunderstood; not verbal, etc.
I knew there was something terribley wrong with her. She scared me to death. I can not believe that Bravo is acutally keeping this abovioulsy sick and disturbed woman on their show.
Okay. I have come to watch RHNYC late in the game. Meaning I started watching Season 4 then went back and watched the other seasons. Before I watched what came before season 4 i was wondering why Kelly was thought of as crazy. THEN i watched the first several seasons and I get it. I don’t have to list the particulars but she appears to have never matured beyond the age of 16. She seems so insecure that she really doesn’t have a personality of her own. She tends to mimic others behavior to fit in. She needs counseling. I hope someone will step in and help her.
Yes, I agree. Although she has progressed from last season, she still seems unable to actually *have* a conversation. She called a meeting with Alex to talk about Simon tweeting inappropriately, but then was unable/unwilling to listen to anything Alex had to say. It seems as if once Kelly has made up her mind about something, there is absolutely no other *side* of the story. She is right, the other person [Alex+Simon at this time] is wrong. She gets to have her say but still won’t let anyone else have her/his say. I’m not sure counseling would help her. We first saw this when she wanted to *talk* to Bethany. Nothing really has changed for Kelly.
BTW – does anyone really believe Jill when she claims Simon is cyber-bulling her? This actually serves to push Kelly’s buttons quite easily, remember Kelly is very into accusations of bullying. Dum-dum LuAnn just joins right into that scenario Jill has set up. Who invites their friends over to help paint? LOL.
That would be the diagnosis I would give her also. She clearly needs some help. She is not putting on a show for the audience. Kelly is messed up. Bravo should take her off the show.
I came here hoping to find some stuff on the Beverly Hills franchise members, but read, with fascination, about Kelly Bensimon.
She’s a mess. With rare exceptions, she doesn’t smile or laugh. I also wonder if there could be a learning disability based on my attempts to read and understand many of her tweets.
I actually feel sorry for her and think she’s being exploited instead of helped by being placed into some of the situations that arise (yes, I know she’s not forced, but she seems to BELIEVE she is).
I hope someone loves her enough to help her.
kelly i wish you would leave the housewifes your just a nasty physco bitch and i feel sorry and worry about your kids
Just how do you people think psychologists justify their jobs????
Please see below:
Individuality should be something one strives for, not classified as a mental disorder. It has been proven throughout history that collective socialism is dangerous for society. People in large groups often tend to gravitate towards negative thoughts and tend to push for perverse ideas as they become the whole of one. In other words they tend to think alike. For instance, a friend sees a blue sports car and thinks it’s just the most awesome vehicle she has ever seen, she reports this to her “friends” and quite a few like it too. Pretty soon said sports cars profits rise from sales based on opinion.
So no, never think for yourself, of course you need government, and big business and the healthcare industry to do that for you. Why? Because it benefits their pocketbooks. Duh! Hitler got started the same way.
We perpetually as human beings, tend to repeat history, over and over and over again. No one noticed that Hilter wasn’t blond, it was completely missed by the majority of society, yet he was supposedly promoting blond hair and blue eyes? He had neither folks! How easily the masses are deceived. No critical, individual thinking skills are expected from the masses. That would be a mental disorder. There was heavy sarcasm dripping off of that last sentence.
Another example of “collective” thinking is found in the DSM in which it had classified homosexuality as a mental disorder, of course their accusations of psychosis changed drastically when the gay rights activists started making an issue of it.
Once again you cannot be an individual unless a majority group tells you so.
Why do you think you are spammed every day on your television sets with tons of commercials? Have you ever
counted how many commercials there are during one show? Now get off your butts and go buy the things that big pharma and the industrialists tell you to. Getting the picture yet?
Individuality is sanity, hitler, goebbels, and the other idiots were just bullies looking to make a name for themselves, much like the industrialists that run the world today.
Individuality vs. Herd Conformity (Erich Fromm), which will you choose?
Kelly, just be yourself, other people can’t live your life for you, although by reading some of the posts I can tell many are trying. Herd Conformity maybe????
Great website. Thanks you for this information. I already shared this on facebook.
From the beginning, I have always Kelly to be quite odd within her personality. Then a month I was thinking to myself that maybe her behaviour could have something to do with her past. Then I thought that maybe her divorce might have been he issue as she was so young and also having to raise two children as well must have been difficult. To conclude, Ifeel she is still a child at heart because
Great blog, and without getting too bogged down with the correct terminology, that Kelly is fruit loop. Serious issues and has left me mouth wide open lots of time at her comments. She is not being an individual, just an a$%^ hole. What was with the “you’re not a chef, you’re a cook” comments to Bethany, what a douche bag
I have studied schizophrenia, personality disorders, and also been through my own personal journey of drug use and recovery. I agree that Kelly’s bizarre behaviour / thoughts / speech come off as schizoaffective on face value -but- please remember that in ER, A&E, rehabs, psych units, all over the world right at this minute teams of Psychiatrists are struggling to discern the difference between drug induced schizo-affective presentation / withdrawal – specifically the long term use of any drug which affect serotonine, dopamine, etc, such as MDMA, ketamine, amphetamine / methamphetamines / crack cocaine both induces paranoia and increases brain activity in parts of the brain which are not normally connected – ie ‘over-connecting’ between thoughts, fears, memories, things happening in the present moment. The neural imaging of a person actively suffering a florid delusional schizophrenic episode show electronic pulses firing in a frenzy all over different lobes of the brain – the same activitiy as use of methamphetamine / crack. Worst of all these ‘newer’ drugs also permanently affect the right balance of brain chemistry. I have personally suffered phases of chronic illness not related to a long term diagnosis as part of my many years of clean-time. As a former model myself, the pressure to take anorectic drugs is huge – all models are avoiding eating and need energy to excercise and work out. Some use opiates / opiods – these do not mix with alcohol and result in ‘blackouts’ – ie outrageous behaviour whilst actively doing things that the person under the influence has NO comprehension of their action or any memory of afterwards. For those using opiates, there is the hell of withdrawal – a physical and emotional torture. In addition, the lifestyle of being a model, constantly judged from a young age on looks, scrutinised, criticised, competing, the loneliness, the anxiety, the shallowness…. it’s brutal in combination with self starving and drug use. Most models retire or can’t work after their mid-20s. Thank Goodness!!! To get to 40 and be in that world, your head, your self-esteem, your authenticity, everything…. it’s gone, or never developed. In conclusion, I have BEEN like Kelly was, holding it together but never 24hrs a day 7 days a week, that was the problem with the boat trip, she can do 2hrs at a party, 10hrs at a party, but not 5 days not at a party!. When I was like that -when I had outbursts- it was a variety of reasons a) sustained and prolongued drug use shattering my mind, b) unrealistic idea that I could go away on holiday without drugs and suffering withdrawal, c) using in the short term incredibly hard drugs combined with alchol / diazepam and alcohol and blacking out. PLUS all of the aforementioned combined with an horrific childhood, PTSD, underlying lifelong depression since childhood, low self esteem, sense of worthlessness. I hope Kelly can have peace and tranquility in her future.
Whilst I don’t usually watch daytime TV, enforced bed rest has limited my options and RHONY seemed the best of a bad bunch. Discovering this blog made it even better! I read the first part about Kelly before the ‘Sun, Sand and Psychosis’ episode aired in the UK last week and so I prepared myself to watch it as analytically as I could.
I’ve never taken to Kelly as she is not the type of woman I would befriend and most of what she did / said bothered me. I don’t know what is wrong with her, but I don’t think it is Bipolar Disorder. I have supported my best friend since he was diagnosed in 2006 and have not seen the following in Kelly:
– As previously mentioned in other posts, the depressed part of the cycle. I’ve seen Kelly paranoid, irrational and upset, but never depressed or even suicidal.
– Multiple trains of thought going at high speed. My friend can be thinking about what to cook for dinner, composing a piece of music and nuclear physics all at the same time and at very high speed. Sometimes he finds it impossible to turn his brain off.
– Self loathing. Whilst bipolar people do have a tendency not to grasp what they have done wrong, on the odd occasion when they do accept the hurt they have caused this will cause extreme guilt. This will build up and manifest itself as intense self loathing. Phrases such as “I wish I was dead” or “It would have been better for everyone if I’d never been born” will be repeated.
Funnily enough, my friend caught the end of the psychotic episode, took one look at Kelly and said “She’s not bipolar; she’s strung out on drugs.” As a previously successful session guitarist, he said that if someone had left the room in a state and then returned all bouncy, he’d have known exactly what they’d been up to. Whether that is narcotics or meds is anyone’s guess. I also agree with another previous post that whilst Kelly can cope with 5 minute encounters, a 4 day trip with no escape route would be extremely difficult for her.
Anyway, here are my observations of Kelly, including the infamous episode!
– In Season 2 LuAnn asked Kelly to Jill’s charity meeting. Kelly doesn’t seem keen and talks about how busy she is already with charitable work. Naturally, LuAnn asks what charity work she is currently involved in and Kelly says none. LuAnn’s face is confused to say the least!
– Jogging in busy NY traffic. I couldn’t believe that somebody would put their need for attention above their own, and others, safety.
– When Bethenny was leaving the bar in Season 2 after their meeting, Kelly was loitering in the doorway and verbally attacked her for no reason. Bethenny even commented that the whole thing had been like the Twilight Zone.
– If Kelly was sitting on the fence about the Playboy Shoot (given how prim and proper she supposedly is), how much did Bethenny’s PETA shoot tip the balance in the end? I loved Teddy’s comment when she was discussing it with her daughters – “to entertain people with your weirdness.”
– Kelly’s pre dinner party phone call to Sea at St John’s. Her voice is tearful and it smacked of role reversal to me, like a homesick child was calling her mother for comfort and reassurance. This also happened when they were making pancakes and Sea became so frustrated with her mother’s inability to do a simple task that she shooed her away and took over. I found the whole pancake scene to be too contrived and I suspect Teddy wasn’t willing to play along with fake mother and daughters time. She wouldn’t even lay the table like she’d been asked to. If I were her I’d also write things down if I’d been told to “zip it” a billion times in the past.
– I found it strange that Kelly told Jill and LuAnn at lunch that Bethenny had admitted in St John’s to orchestrating a smear campaign against her in the press. Did she really believe it had happened? Was she relying on the excuse of editing to explain the lack of footage?
It was interesting to note that Bethenny chose to scream “Go to sleep” at Kelly. Not “Shut up” or “Go away”, but “Go to sleep.” The bags under her eyes had become more and more noticeable; Sonja had said that she hadn’t left her alone the first night and we can only guess what happened the second night. Bethenny later admits that she tried to rationalise things, maybe she thought that it was sleep deprivation and Kelly would calm down if she just had some sleep.
I thought Bethenny was quite restrained after 3 days of being told “no one cares about you”, “you’re a cook, not a chef”, accused of trying to kill Kelly and her daughters and finally that it was creepy that she was on a trip just after her father had died. Bethenny did remove herself from Kelly a number of times: she left and went to the Hooters yacht, went dancing afterwards even though she didn’t want to, she left the breakfast table the following morning, disappeared when they arrived at the villa, busied herself cooking breakfast when Kelly was talking about her complaints pad, didn’t go on the photo shoot and finally even admitted that she’d rather stay in the kitchen and pretend she was busy with the dinner party than go back out there.
Did anyone else notice Kelly’s update at the end of the final episode of the season? The other women’s discussed family, business, projects, etc. Kelly’s read, “Kelly remains committed to a life of lollipops and unicorns…. She spends most of her time being charitable.”
Was this the studio being sarcastic or did they simply having nothing worthwhile to say?
Finally, I know that other posters have mentioned Kelly’s Twitter, but I have found her YouTube channel to be interesting.
http://www.youtube.com/user/kellykbensimon#p/a
Would like your views!
Thanks again for a great blog.
Well I’m in the UK and have just watched the reunion. Kelly is definitly jealous of Bethenny (quite understandable as she is so gorgeous). Kelly instigated all the dramas by throwing in stupid comments for which the other housewives (Bethenny especially) wanted explanations for which she refused to give!! What was the big deal about Bethenny being a “cook”??? She is absolutely crazy and needs help of the psychiatric variety. Now Jill, what can I say! What a nasty piece of work, I thought the way she handled herself with Bethenny was disgusting, after watching the show back she knew it.
I totally agree that Kelly has shown bizarre behaviour. The new season is now airing and I noticed her behaviour is totally the opposite. Am I the only one to have noticed it? Example: the Morrocco trip. She seemed to be the wisest one there.
Thanks for another informative website. Where else may just I am getting that type of information written in such an ideal method? I have a venture that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been at the look out for such information.
Woah this blog is excellent i really like studying your articles. Keep up the great work! You already know, a lot of persons are looking round for this information, you could help them greatly.
I love these blogged analyses. Spot. On. I’ve watched RHONY for years and analyze while I’m watching and it’s so ???? to see someone put words on exactly what I’ve witnessed.
I myself have been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, and after seeing season 3 of RHWONY I oddly find my self relating to her madness!! So she probably does have Schizoaffective disorder, and having this is no joke, its tough and at times unfair. I pray that Kelly gets the help that she needs, because its not easy dealing dealing with this by yourself.
I am a psychiatrist who also suffers from Bipolar 1…Kelly does not exhibit classic hypomania or manic mood disorder nor does she appear to suffer full blown schizoid delusional disorder. I concur with many previous posters that her behaviour is drug induced, together with an underlying personality disorder with separate highly manipulative and bullying behaviours, thus making it difficult to confront any of her sociopathic traits preferring to believe she is always justified and therefore right. Alas, a lot of these people exist and as they do not suffer a mental illness it is hard to sympathise and even harder to treat.
You are indeed a psychiatrist- ” it is hard to sympathise and even harder to treat”. As someone with ‘aspects of borderline’ etc, I am appalled at your attitude. What do we do. Give up? Consider ourselves to be the Evil in society? I have plenty of friends and a great psychiatrist who has made an effort to understand and help me find the right treatments. I am so much better -but I know I was hard to like when I was having an ‘episode.’. However, I did make the effort to find out what was going on with me. I believe that labelling Kelly is a very easy thing to do. She is without doubt difficult to understand but I found the best psychiatrist I had listened to me and said ‘forget labels’. I also think she that kelly out of all of them has suffered the most coping with the cameras. The group is overwhelming even to watch at times ‘ and I would have been very tense being with them in spite of loving the programme. I hope Kelly is finding peace again.
You misunderstand me Angie, I did not wish to be glib about personality disorder, but it is not a diagnostically classified mental illness (DSM IV) and as such cannot be treated. Psychotic episodes within the disorder can be medicated but the personality disorder itself is untreatable. I believe Kelly has narcissistic traits, common in the PD disorder spectrum, as are sociopathic traits. However, people can suffer from many serious mental illnesses, drug addiction and DSM non diagnosable illnesses such as PD or BPB without claiming systematic persecution and paranoia to justify their own bullying and manipulative behaviours, as Kelly clearly does. There are too many sane bullies in the world who cry foul to deflect from themselves, it is no stretch therefore, to say mentally disordered or personality disordered folk are equally capable of exhibiting such behaviours separate to any illness they suffer. We are all capable of anti-social and unkind behaviours to others..you don’t have to be mad just bad..
Dr. AINE,
The information you present is disingenuous at best. Borderline Personality Disorder is not classified as an Axis I mental illness, true. But it is in the DSM-IV-TR, and I’ve gears that it may be moved to Axis I, from Axis II, in the DSM-V. That way we can bill for treatment. And there is treatment that shows efficacy for Borderline PD. It’s called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Look into the work done by Marsha Linehan.
I’ve used DBT with success in working with my clients who show borderline features. It’s true that medication does not seem to be effective, so you, a psychiatrist, would not be the best choice for treating this diagnosis.
My credentials, if needed: MFT intern, working with clients for 4 years (the licensing process is rough here), trained in DBT, have used it with clients and seen healing begin. I am considered to be the specialist in working with Borderline PD at my workplace and am not intimidated by the diagnosis, nor do I see it as hopeless or condemning.
Pingback: cheap womens clothes - Canada Samples Forum
I also have a degree in psychology and I couldn’t agree with you more. Although, I believe people with schitzoaffective disorder can be much more self aware. Kelly has absolutely zero self-awareness. I had a very close friend who suffered from the illness and she would tell me about her hallucinations and the “chatter” that drove her to act in peculiar ways. Medication helped her manage her symptoms, some of which were very dangerous. I wonder when Kelly presented with this behavior and can only hope she is on medication currently. Social situations are very difficult with this disorder and the Real Housewives is one of the worst possible playgrounds. My guess is she has had milder symptoms for some time which were significantly intensified on the show.
I actually had thought that Kelly might be bipolar, and that she was going through a manic phase. They can also show most of these symptoms, particularly the ones that she presented. Seeing her in the show you could see how she would rather un-normally be very excited and then that excitement could turn into a rather un-explicable event of anger and confusion. Lots of people with bipolar also have paranoid feelings and delusions.
Unfortunately we can’t be sure about whether this is the first time that she started acting rather illogically like this or whether it’s been going on for a long time.
A lot of people don’t want to seek help, sometimes because they don’t want to expose themselves or embarrassment, or simply because they don’t think they have a problem.
A lot of people don’t realize they have a problem unfortunately. And the thing is, that their brains make them think that those ideas that were randomly implanted in their heads (persecution/paranoia) are very real things. The hard part is how to learn that those are not real at all. These people are in a way object to their own minds, they can’t see beyond the ideas in their own heads.
IMO Kelly is suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) which is now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder ( DID). This is caused by tramua (particulary in childhood) and would explain her memory loss, how she is seemingly a child/ teenager mentally etc. Anyone who has researched mind control will be aware of the fact that DID can also be intentionally created in a person by means of repeatitive tramua that causes the original personality to split off from the core and form walls of amnesia to protect the core personality from remembering. Fragments can each become a entirely seperate personalities that are unaware of each other and each hold the body at seperate times. The person switches personality without even realising it (they would experiance gaps in memory or blackouts and have no awareness while the other alter is in control of the body) this is when the person is in a stressful sitituation or by being triggered by a particular phrase or stimuli (specific objects, items of clothing, music etc) in mind control (which is reportedly prevelant in fashion and entertainment industries) DID is induced with the intention of forming a structered sytem of alter personalities that can be triggered ( called up) whenever the handler or programmer requires. That is the basis for mind control, each personality (or fragment) can then be individually programmed for whatever purpose. Programming often breaks down as the individual is in their thirties and to someone who isn’t aware of tramua based mind controll programming, this would appear to be a person who is having a crazy epsisode/ breakdown . I think her programming is breaking down/malfunctioning due to her age and stress of the situation (on the boat with the other RHONY) and the random phrases she used such as ” free to be” and “satchels of gold” etc are infact triggers and very likely the jellybeans (she left to go and be on her own and came back eating the jellybeans and as if she had forgotten the arguement) I feel very sad for Kelly and there are a lot of other clues that lead me to believe she not only has DID, but is a programmed multiple and I hope she can break free of it and lead a normal life, with her two daughters.
This post is very well written and explained!
I remember watching the episode (a long time ago) and thinking to myself “she must be suffering form some sort of mental disorder”. I am currently studying psychology and I couldn’t help but google whether someone also thought that Kelly was not a real “bitch” or “stupid”, as some may say, and was simply undergoing (but not simply at all) a mental condition.
Although I haven’t yet officially studied about the disorders I have read a lot about them and her behavior and reactions certainly do fit the pattern here.
I hope she actually gets the help she needs, and that people close to her just took a closer look at her at certain times and aided her to look for a doctor. At the end of the day this could be harmful for her well-being and interaction with other people, especially her daughter.
A part of me feels rather unable to get quiet about this subject. As a human being and as a *hopefully* future psychologist I hope Kelly finds her way and/or treatment and therapy.
Again, great post!
Kelly?…glad you could join us! Either you’ve got the wrong blog or just your usual scattered thoughts…
Hello very cool website!! Man .. Beautiful .. Superb .. I’ll bookmark your website and take the feeds additionally?
I’m satisfied to search out numerous useful information right here in the publish, we’d like develop extra techniques on this regard, thank you for sharing.
. . . . .
Wow, that’s what I was exploring for, what a information! present here at
this blog, thanks admin of this site.
I am in fact glad to read this web site posts which includes tons of helpful facts, thanks
for providing these statistics.
K Bensimon clearly stopped growing mentally and emotionally at age 15, the year she says she started modeling. So, the big question is who did this her and what exactly did they do? If you research Monarch programming mind control, she appears to be a classic example of one who was taken over by these evil people who do this to others for purposes of making huge sums of money off of them. Dozens of rock stars, movie stars and other big name nutjobs are other prime examples. They have delusional thinking, suffer from emotional torture and yet have to put on the face of “happiness”, all to make those big bucks, and yet think of the bigger bucks made by those that “use” these people. Drugs also play a huge part in all different manner of “benefits” from uppers, downers, sleeping, euphoria and anxiety issues. These people are “done”, mentally they are doomed to their brains having suffered irreparable damage in their ability to mature psychically.
Imagine what her poor children have had to endure with a mentally stifled mother. Brittany Spears is another good example of childlike mind and true inability to care for herself much less her children. Yet, what a wonderful moneymaker!
Or she was likely sexually abused. I mean, I don’t know this Monarch Programming thing, but it could be the mindset of an incestuous father /mother, or a child predator outside the family, in other words, the same exact symptoms. I’m fairly certain the majority of models, actors and performers in general have been sexually abused. The entire population has such a high percentage of adults who where sexually abused as children, and it creates a multitude of problems which are most likely the highest contributing factor to all societal ills. We need to wake the hell up.
All of the women are certifiable. I’m thinking there’s probably also a lot of drug abuse as well, which is exacerbating their symptoms. They all have EDs as well, clearly, even Carole. Jesus, poor Carole though. It’s entertaining at first, but it soon becomes tiring.
Prolly DOC is cocaine or amphetamines to suppress appetite/increase energy. These women are terrible businesswomen, would absolutely fail without their husbands/backers.
You need to write about Sonja’s clear Histrionic Personality Disorder.
She should’ve been placed on 50 mg seroquel BID with a PRN for Xanax and provigil.
I’ve just been watching this on hulu and Kelly seems about as sick as sick can be. I feel so sorry for her children. Poor kids. And the observation that the was stuck on the 1979 was a good one.. She would have been 10 or 11 according to the internet – seems like a prime age for sand angels and gummy bears. I think she needs a lot of intensive therapy!
I know these posts are old but I love them!!! Can you please do some new ones?
Haha!! I’m on here ten years later! Agree!
Just rewatched this series of RHONY, much better than last season in 2021 of Sonja alcohol abuse,
They will do anything for ratings 10 years later, even at the demise of the housewives!
Why don’t they help these women when they see problems?
Sad!
Kelly is a nut!! Crazy as they come….. She is not living in reality….. A few French fries sorry if a happy meal for sure. Her behavior toward bethenny was confusing and just plain mean!!
Hi im a retired “Family Crisis Counselor” i agree with what you are saying regarding your assment of the R.H.O.N.Y from a few years ago..as someone that has worked in Mental Health for years these shows are a great place to study if you will Human bebavior EVEN though i know they suggest scenarios when things are not interesting & encourage drinking & trips so the shows participents are more likely to react in OVER dramatic ways..their reactions are very real though& as Human Beings EVERYONE has had some sort of unhealthy Family dynamic somewhere in the closet of time AFTER ALL everyrhing filters down from the dysfuntion of ALL governments past & present problems..what i know is there is WAY TOO little given to THE fact that what we eat is EXTREMELY important and sadly MOST are on what i refer to as the “prison diet”,a lot of startches i.e SUGAR and Coffee (which depleats Adrenals) and OUTRIGHT Sugar i.e candy , sodas & ALCHOHOL etc. Which COMPLETELY exsascerbates ANY (even smaller) mental problems…Brain imbalamces caused by poor nutrition are NO joke…and i know of NO one that has even the smallest depression that sugary “foods” intake does not make their problems way worse ..i have seen Teenagers “self medicate” by pouring a CUP of Sugar into a already sickning sweet soda drink it and try to stab someone (happened 2 Xs at our facility) …so
i couldn’t help to notice in that “Island vacation” Kelly B. was drinking “shots” & eating copious amounts of candy all the time, which intensified her problems …if she came into our 24 hour emergency shelter for evaluation i would have, asked her what she had eaten & drank within the last 72 hours & i also would summize because she is pretty & in the fashion “industry” that shes probably been sexually molested,at some point & that is possibly the root of her spiraling out so hard…it is a sad fact that,she seemed HYPER focused on what “she” precived as “sexual promiscuity” with others while “painting”,herself as more innocent…it is always sad to see anyone start unwinding..however a GOOD time to look into the mirror of reflection and ask ourselves …are ANY of Us truly happy these “daze” in NEVER ending wars and SUCH WIDESPREAD economic disparities & over population coupled with THE FACT that Women have been & STILL ARE treated with not a lot of DIS respect IN GENERAL..THIS creates a HUGE IMBALANCE in Our World and We WILL be dealing,more & more “mental illness”, as TOO MANY are now using, BOTH, percription drugs & non prescription drugs,INCLUDING Alchohol as BOTH “coping”(BAD IDEA!) & as distraction from a World on the verge of collapsing ..Yes The Truth IS HARSH however WITHOUT it WE will NEVER be able to “resolve to evolve” in BETTER Ways …even though Bethany F. has her problems,at least i do feel She is the most sincere & thats probably because she was forced to cope with harsh Childhood problems which for me the BIGGEST PROBLEM in Our World is the LACK of “Gnosis” ..when one has not been brutally honest with OUR OWN Parental “imprinting” & tries to develole a more deep understanding of HOW MUCH it effects Us & ALL our Lives ..We ARE DAMMED TO REPEAT it just as The Worlds TRUE history (and NOT JUST his STORY either) “when you don’t understand REAL history, your dammed to repeat it” as anything in Nature understanding patterns helps A LOT…Care Infinite 💙🌱💛
Opps should have said tries to “develop” 😉
Oh absolutely! My first thought was she is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia!
What’s wrong with people these days? Don’t try to imitate a professional; if you’re not a carpenter, don’t pretend you can build a house by reading a book or two and guessing how it “probably” works, if you’re not a professional (clinical) psychologist with six years in University and a ton of experience in the work field, don’t try. Why? Because you are simply looking like a fool, showing NO respect to the lives you are “analysing” because you have not met nor know these people.
Leave them be, every being on this planet deserves space and this to be respected by others, we all have a history and keep this private. You would not want some amateur to write about your deficit traits, so treat others like you would want to be treated. Focus on your own life with your own mind. Find a hobby, start writing about things that brings people true joy, contribute valuable things to this world. There is already enough hate.
Best of luck
Oh, Yes .
I agree! Kelly definitely fits the Dx of Schizoaffective Disorder.
If I recall she checked off every symptom
of that disorder
Extreme paranoia, delusional thinking,lack of emotion, disorganized speech pattern,
Potential for violence.
I really hope she has been treated for this and is on meds.
I hope her girls are ok and that somebody who does not have a psychiatric disorder.
I have seen this behavior in people with Porphyria.
Wow! You are spot on!
Is there a medication or treatment to treat her disorder?
I am surprised, she is able to safely parent her children, how terrifying it must be for her children, when such an episode happens.