RHONY’s Bethenny Frankel- Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

I was blown away by the première of Bethenny’s Getting Married? Not because I thought it was fabulous entertainment. Rather it was because finally someone on a reality television show was owning their behavioral issues. Bethenny acknowledged that she needs professional help to deal with what has happened in her past. She recognizes that it may interfere in her current and future relationships if she cannot come to terms with it. Hallelujah.

I am thrilled to see someone take this step. It reduces unnecessary stigma that are commonly associated with psychological problems. Seeking treatment is a brave step on the road to mental health. I am proud to see Bethenny be so forthcoming and honest with herself. I wish her nothing but success.

I feel personally that Bethenny has suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Bethenny is a classic overachiever. She is extremely ambitious, driven and perfectionistic. She is hard on herself personally, particularly in regards to her appearance and weight. She is detail oriented, liking the smallest detail to be perfect.

Her focus on her business and success has been to the exclusion of everyone in her life. Until recently she lacked many personal relationships at all. Her extreme independence and often rigid self-control are definitely in keeping with this disorder.

Bethenny employs numerous coping mechanisms in dealing with her emotions. She is very self depreciative and often sarcastic, usually in a clearly humorous manner. This type of humor is a classic response to feelings of low self-esteem that are at the heart of the obsessive compulsive personality disorder. This also allows her a way to control her emotions, spinning them into a more acceptable form for her psyche.

Bethenny has a difficult time ever shutting off the business side of herself. Even on vacation she takes control, cooking meals despite a team of chefs on hand to wait on her. Not only did she throw her own dinner party for the women, we also see her cooking in the morning for herself and possibly others. I do wonder if these activities were a way for her to regain a measure of control during what appeared to be a very out of control situation.

She promotes her business unrelentingly, driving around in a Skinnygirl car, giving gift bags emblazoned with the Skinnygirl logo, containing Skinnygirl swag. Yes this makes good business sense but it also demonstrates that she never turns the drive for success off. *Workaholics* are generally OCPD afflicted.

Bethenny admits that she has struggled in relationships. It is often hard for someone with such control issues to commit to a binding relationship such as a marriage. It can be very stressful. We see her conflicts with Jason come up when things have to be shared decisions. She wants things to be her way and has trouble when he asserts his will. He messes with the orderly way of life that she has established and she resists changes at every turn.

In Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders, there is a list typical beliefs associated with each specific personality disorder. The beliefs and attitudes rationalize and reinforce the idealized image and the compulsive attachments and aversions. Here are the typical beliefs that they have listed for Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder:

  • I am fully responsible for myself and others.
  • I have to depend on myself to see that things get done.
  • Others tend to be too casual, often irresponsible, self-indulgent, or incompetent.
  • It is important to do a perfect job on everything.
  • I need order, systems, and rules in order to get the job done properly.
  • If I don’t have systems, everything will fall apart.
  • Any flaw or defect of performance may lead to a catastrophe.
  • It is necessary to stick to the highest standards at all times, or things will fall apart.
  • I need to be in complete control of my emotions.
  • People should do things my way.
  • If I don’t perform at the highest level, I will fail.
  • Flaws, defects, or mistakes are intolerable.
  • Details are extremely important.
  • My way of doing things is generally the best way

For anyone having navigational issues here are the links to the other discussions on the Housewives of New York:

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/kelly-killoren-bensimon-update-schizoaffective-disorder/

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/rhonys-jill-zarin-the-classic-narcissist/

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/04/rhonys-luann-de-lesseps-compensatory-narcissistic-personality-disorder/

http://angelofdevs.wordpress.com/2010/06/15/rhonys-ramona-singer-cyclothymia/

About angelofdevs

A real life housewife who likes to chatter about the psychological disorders of Bravo reality TV versions of housewives.
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147 Responses to RHONY’s Bethenny Frankel- Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

  1. ldnj says:

    I look forward to reading every entry and comment. I think you’ve nailed every one of the women, and your right about Bethenny recognizing her personality flaws. I feel as if I have a bit of each of these women in me. I see the OCD in wanting everything to be my way, I am very self deprecating and yet I also see narcissism (notice the I’s).
    Thanks and please continue! I can not wait to see who you “do” next.

  2. Jenn Sale says:

    Yeah, I want to believe her, but to me it comes off more strategy, like if she says it, no one can bitch about it.

  3. Jillousyness says:

    I would imagine Bethenny’s personality was born out of the need to survive in such chaotic circumstances of her home life growing up. It’s amazing how wonderfully she turned out considering the lack of supervision and the unstable presence or lack thereof of any parental role model. Somehow she found that by structuring her own life she had at least control of that aspect and also had to be self sufficient because it doesn’t seem as though she could count on anyone else. She was an only child and was sent away to boarding school in her teenage years so she may have felt as though she needed to prove herself to herself that she could be just as good or better than anyone else. Anyway, that’s my take on it. Thanks for the insight.

    • Kym says:

      I agreed with your assessment, and I would like to take it one further. I believe that people who depend on systems, refer to themselves, or others refer to them as controlling and/or perfectionists, etc., are in fact fearful. Their fear is if all falls apart, all will fall apart – never to be recovered. If they make a fatal mistake, they can beat up on themselves and carry on, but if they trust someone else (against the better instinct) and that person makes a fatal mistake, it shuts them down completely, they fold into themselves, seeing first hand that indeed, they can’t depend (trust) on anyone. And so they toil away, never giving themselves a break, appear to be strong, forceful and put together, when they are truly terrified inside. This is not a pleasant burden to carry around 24/7, and plenty of people probably are not even self-aware enough to realize that this is actually the source of their “control” issues. My 2 cents….

  4. Jersey Jane says:

    Um, wow. That not only describes Bethanny, it describes ME. Ouch. Explains why I like her so much. ( actually didn’t expect to see her profiled, because she seemed fine to me )

  5. windycitygal says:

    Thank you for another very interesting post, your website is wonderful. It is nice of you to take the time to do this to feed our Real Housewife obsession.
    Bethenny seems to be the most complicated of the housewives. She has never been a favorite of mine (she scares me, reminds me of the girls in HS by whom I was intimidated). Nonetheless, I am fascinated by her, and by her popularity.

    There are other parts of her personality I don’t understand. For example, where does the extreme anger come from? Remember the “I’ll poke your f’n eyeballs out with this skewer” comment to Jill in the first season? What about her giddiness and high five-ing when she realized in St. Barts that Kelly was breaking down…you can hear the excitement in her voice…(I saw that episode again yesterday, I hadn’t noticed it before and it disturbed me, she was almost hyperventilating). Also, when the conversation isn’t about her, she will loudly say /threaten “If I have to hear this again I swear I am going to……[FILL IN THE BLANK WITH SOMETHING DRAMATIC]…..”

    Her denial of things (that she did in fact do or say) seems confrontational to the point of smug bravado. “When did I say that?” “Show me” “I never said that” especially dealing with Kelly and Ramona (the weaklings, perhaps?)
    **Regarding her childhood….we only know what B tells us. Through the eyes of our “inner child”, the view is not always based in reality. It would be interesting to see if it is accurate, or it is a story she created in her need to control and explain herself.
    **Also, regarding the rumors circulating about Jason (I personally don’t care if he is straight or gay, as long as he is kind to his wife and child). Remember last season when she made a “deal” with Franke, her gay hairdresser? Would it be keeping with her OCPD to actually create, or “stage” a “perfect life” for herself where she can have it all…..baby, husband, career, brand, TV show? I’m only bringing this up as a suggestion, not to be cruel.
    Thanks again for the great site!

    • Amy says:

      I agree with your description of Bethenny. She has always made me cringe. I also wonder about the vicious talk and anger that she can tap into within seconds. I hope she can control that around her child.

    • Marybelle says:

      Wow – I love it. I think she is the most insincere of all the HW. She scares me too because she seems SO disconnected from being a real person and too robotic and harsh about everything. She is very manipulative and calculating – where as Jill seems so emotionally charged and reactive. In fact I agree, it seems very staged the marriage, pregnancy, etc coinciding with her new show, etc.

      Also, the Kelly thing was gross – I agree – she was so relieved that Kelly snapped and she could be ‘vindicated’ in her opinion of Kelly. I do think Kelly is crazy mind you, but cheering because a person has a break down or exhibits clear mental incapability is equally absurd. I mean ever AFTER Sonja chastised them for going after Kelly in that state, Bethenny persisted. Also, she never seems really emotionally connected to ANYONE – even when she talks about her baby: “yeah she’s great – love her.”

      I kinda think what Ramona said to her on the bridge was true and it was clear how shaken Bethenny was by Ramona calling her out. That was the only time I haven’t seen her retaliate on the show.

      The baby weight thing also really freaks me out – nearly the first thing she said when she found out she was pregnant was:”what am I supposed to get fat now?” ummm…really? Now of course like 3 minutes after having the baby she is her ‘normal’ size 0. I think she clearly suffers from an ED.

      She seems very self-obsessed and always catering to the cameras and the brand. I think it is interesting that people have chosen to see Jill as the ‘bad friend’ while Bethenny is practically promoted to sainthood, despite actually seeming to behave just as horridly. What does that say about how WE -American’s – perceive things… interesting.

      • Karen Lee says:

        Are we watching the same show? Are you Jill?

      • Bethany C says:

        How dare you comment about her love for her baby? Why go so low? You have no idea how she feels about her child?

      • Marybelle says:

        @Bethany C – I wasn’t commenting about how much she loves her child, I was commenting about how she expresses what she feels. When asked about it she gives very flippant statements about both her baby and her marraige – which may be a way of protecting them or just her manner. I just find it odd. I don’t know Bethenny and I have no idea what she is like as a mother and I certainly was not insulting the love she has for her child.

        I think people get too emotionally wrapped up in these ‘characters’. Who knows what they are like in ‘real life’ vs. reality TV. On TV, Bethenny comes across as a bit callous and as someone who plays to the sympathies of the cameras/viewers while simultaneously making some of the mean comments I have ever heard, and being very two-faced to the women on the show. She and Jill BOTH do that constantly!

    • anon says:

      I’m not sure I see the Bethenny-Kelly interactions in the same light and I have NO background in Pyschology. However, I have noticed that people who have lived for a long time in chaos and conflict can unconsciously thrive on those kinds of environments even as they shun them and intellectually know how damaging they are. In some cases these people create drama and conflict because they are not comfortable in it’s absence. I’m don’t think Bethenny necessarily created the conflict on the island, but this might explain her seeming “excitement” & why she didn’t try to de-escalate things sooner.

      On another note, I think B. was glad it happened because she had been telling others that KKB was both stupid and “off,” but it kept getting dismissed as “you just don’t like each other.” When the explosion happened, it was then hard to see KKB as anything but unstable.

      • Kym says:

        Also a possibility: when you have a childhood that is so difficult, you develop but a hair-trigger “defend & attack” mode. I think that Bethanny has learned somewhere along the line to stand up for herself immediately and not to back down (or show weakness?). Someone else may be just gotten up and walked away from the table (for instance, Ramona, who took Bethanny with her and I believe she took Alex at one point, too). There’s something called “fight or flight,” which depicts personality response to a threat. Bethanny falls under “fight” each time.

    • Dark Star says:

      Thanks for your assessment on Bethenny! I definitely see the OCD part of her but I agree with windycitygal — I think there is more than just that to her. I know she is popular with the fans, but the woman has always creeped me out too. She is so cold & has a pathological need to be “right” to the extent that she gladly hurts people just to prove how right she is (such as her glee when Kelly — who I agree is crazy — was having a breakdown; and her glee that Alex teamed up with her against Jill). I also agree with the other poster who wrote that Bethenny’s talking about “needing help” is an act. She is 40 years old & she hasn’t sought help thus far. I am 40 years old as well, have far, far less problems than she seems to (i.e., I actually have genuine, loving relationships with my immediate & extended family & and many close friends of more than 20 years) and I had therapy in my early 30s! What the heck has she waited so long for, an engraved invitation? No, she is saying it to “look good” and have people admire her and/or excuse her behavior.
      Also, as I commented in the previous thread — I’ve read her book “Naturally Thin.” She says she is for “healthy & organic” eating and for people not to “obsess” about food, but the main focus of the book is obsessing about food & starving yourself — 3 small bites of a steak for dinner, etc. It is a blueprint for an eating disorder (and I had one in my early teens — I can recognize one when I see it).

      • Kym says:

        I’m pretty sure that Bethanny did say (might have been in voice over, might have been in the “interview), that she has been in therapy before.

      • Karen Lee says:

        Ok Jill, how many screen names do you post under?

      • Dark Star says:

        @Karen Lee — that is just about most “unwitty” reply EVAH. You are either sad pathetic troll trying to stir sh!t up OR you are a sad pathetic fangirl who not only idolizes a woman on a second-rate reality show and feels the need to defend her. Either way, go away and let the adults talk — you know the ones who can agree to disagree without resorting to ad homonin attacks.

      • dcscrewylouie says:

        @DarkStar Perhaps a little too vitriolic and profane for a RHONY site. Let’s just worry about ourselves and not others. What’s the phrase? “Govern thyself.” Peace.

      • dcscrewylouie says:

        WOW! I had NO idea!

        Thanks for the link @KarenLee. Definitely proves the pathology of Jill Zarin… welcome to Crazytown.

      • Dark Star says:

        @Karen Lee — your link still doesn’t give you the right to try to start sh!t with me or excuse your pathetic fangirldom.
        @dcscrewy– are you the mod on this board? Then mind your own beeswax. Karen Lee is the ranting fangirl whose trying to start trouble. I just stared the facts.

      • Karen Lee says:

        Wow darkstar, I rest my case.

      • Icey says:

        Wow, I think your assessments of Bethenny are waaayy off-base; To such a degree that there’s an agenda there.

        With regard to waiting til she’s almost 40 to get therapy: She did mention before (more than once) that she has been in therapy, at various times, in the past. So you are factually wrong on that one. (Oh dear, do I sound like I have a patholgical need to be right?)

        As for ‘glee’ when Kelly flipped out: That wasn’t glee per se, but rather relief that the others were finally seeing Kelly behave in the way that they hadn’t seen in the past. Perfectly natural, if you’ve been trying to tell someone about something you have seen and they don’t believe you, or poo-poo you (saying you are over-reacting, as the others had said to Bethenny when she correctly described Kelly as off), then, yes, you would express relief that YOU were not the crazy one.

        And in fact, Bethenny behaved with AMAZING restrain when being on the receiving end of Kelly’s repeated attacks. Kelly has a bizarre and unbalanced obsession with Bethenny, and what we see in the show is only a small part of it. It is natural that Bethenny would be relieved that others were finally seeing what had been going on for a long time.

        I don’t see Bethenny as hurting anyone. Jill, Luann, Kelly, and even Ramona have repeatedly said far nastier things than Bethenny ever has. However Bethenny IS very smart and witty, and that can make her come across as strong. She is the strongest of this bunch really, and her success is entirely self-made. And a lot of people just don’t like strong women, and are jealous of her success (housewives and commenters alike).

    • Sue says:

      I don’t agree with you at all. Bethenny seems like one of the more normal ones. On top she is insightful enough to know she still has issues that she needs to deal with in order to move on to a next step. The reason alot of people find her abrasive is because of her masculine personality. She doesnt have a girl next door, sweet persona, alot of women PUT ON. She is frank to the point that it is poignant and sharp. She is like a guys-girl. She can hang around with any man and feel like one of the gang. She speaks a language many of us were taught not to talk like because it’s unlady like. She doesn’t care, I think it’s because she is just too straight forward and for the sake of reality tv show does not sensor her words. I love this girl regardless. I have GROWN to like her as I have grown to understand where she is coming from.

      • cmg says:

        Sue, I have to agree. My profession is in a mans world and it’s either bitch or door mat here on a daily basis. I don’t think Bethany could be anything less and still be successful. I think she is strong and focused. I can agree with the “diagnosis” and have also read where anyone who is going to be successful in a capitalist environment would have to be almost a sociopath to succeed. And aren’t we all in “therapy” anyways??? I continue to learn and grow.

    • JNIC says:

      After reading your comment I would love to hear angelofdevs diagnose you : )

  6. Bobbi says:

    Morning! Pretty much agree with you with the motivating forces beneath Bethenny’s success. Also agree with Jillousyness that she felt an overpowering need to establish some control over her life considering the way she grew up. I know it was vastly oversimplified but it broke my heart to hear her describe the reasons for her father’s disregard and lack of caring for her while she was growing up.

    While watching her show last night, the “debates” between Jason and Bethenny cracked me up. My husband and I were even older than the two of them when we got married. After living on our own for most of our lives, the two of us went through a HUGE adjustment period. Simply having someone else in your space is a major reworking of your life nevermind, also having to deal with their stuff, their friends and so on. People tend to be much more pliable when they’re in their twenties than in their late thirties or forties. Once we finally negotiated our boundaries, we settled into a comfortable way of being and I’m sure they will too. But, it doesn’t surprise me that they’re having a few control/space/method issues. At least part of that is simply due to what they’re attempting to do. Not an easy task!

  7. Kate says:

    This is completely me. But I can totally relate to Bethenny. We have had very similar lives.

    Isn’t it possible that in addition to using humor and work to maintain control in chaos, can it be that she is wired (or pre-dispositioned) to be resilient? Why is it some people are able to emerge from chaos? Remember she said that given her home life she should have been in a crack den by now?

    I do think it is an interesting difference that she dislikes having too many people around and her husband is the complete opposite. I would imagine it will be difficult for her to accept in-laws.

    Great write-up, as always.

  8. Pingback: Desperate Housewife: Diagnosing Bethenny Frankel [Pop Psychology] | Top Blogs News

  9. suzie says:

    I enjoy your site and don’t disagree with your opinion that Bethenny could be OCD. However, I don’t think she cooked dinner in St. John’s to “take control,” despite there being a team of personal chefs. The women all planned one “gift” for Ramona — Kelly took photos, Alex arranged the pedicures, and Bethenny prepared a special meal. Sounds thoughtful, not controlling to me.

    • Kym says:

      I agree with you, but there’s something that rings true to me about the idea that doing something that she’s good at and can be completely responsible for (cooking) can act as a salve when you’re in an unpredictable and unstable situation. I don’t think is a conscious act at all (“I’m going to cook now, so I can feel in control”), though.

      • I must admit, as a person that also was raised in chaos, albeit not in the same way, I scrub counters when I’m uncomfortable, or take the kids outside to play ball or SOMEthing other than standing around in dismay at the chaos, especially when I can’t control it…B. seems to be extremely resilient and strong. OCD I’m sure, but in my opinion there’s nothing wrong with that. I even challenge the idea that she’s cold and calculating. She seems to be the only person that actually admits when she’s shredded someone, and has tried to be fair in her fighting, even when she didn’t have to. In other words, in comparison with season 1, I think she’s come the farthest…and she’s in therapy trying to make sure she establishes good habits, rather than repeating bad ones. And omg, if I had a chance at a show to broadcast my new business I would take it! lol

    • Amy says:

      I agree with you. I thought Bethenny was trying be thoughtful and contribute her talents to the adventure. I didn’t think it was controlling.

      I like this blog, but that is what happens when we practice pop-psychology. The analysis is forced to fit the diagnosis. Although the author is convincing thst Bethenny has controlling features to her personality, I don’t think her disorder is OCD. Bethenny has some oppositional disorder that makes her lash out at full tilt, even against someone who is no match for her, such as Kelly.

  10. Pingback: Desperate Housewife: Diagnosing Bethenny Frankel [Pop Psychology] « HollywoodCrack.com

  11. rich says:

    Ramona once said that Bethanny was the underdog, and that was why Jill liked her so much, well, this was true, the underdog part that is. And I know that’s why I personally was pulling for her. I want her to succeed. And she’s smart enough not to let this opportunity go by without cashing in on it. So I don’t begrudge her for hawking her products, her time is now, and the money she makes should take the edge off.
    In many ways, she’s the architype for a certain kind of humor, think Rhoda, (from Mary Tyler Moore) who reminded me of Joan Rivers. I get her. She’s easy to understand, wounded, vulnerable, damaged (in her words) yet hopeful. I would love to see her have it all.

  12. Lex says:

    I definitely agree that Bethenny’s biting, perfectionist personality was born from her unstable background. I would agree she is fairly OCPD; perhaps time spent in marriage and motherhood will soften her edges.

    While I love her wit and don’t begrudge her success, I think her basis of it- her “Skinnygirl” theory- isn’t completely healthy. I’m glad she advocates organic and healthy ingredients and portion control, but I think she advocates over-control. Her Skinnygirl line is likewise born of OCPD.

  13. dcscrewylouie says:

    Bethenny in many ways has the healthiest understanding of the reality show mentality, as demonstrated by her comments during the Reunion Show. She is by no way perfect and struggles with temperament issues (understandable considering any variation on what she has revealed as her upbringing).

    Overall she is a lovely, capable, highly intelligent, insightful young women whom I believe is sincere in wanting to make her life, as well as the one she shares with her husband and child, healthier and happier through mental health therapy. For the sake of argument, if she is “faking it” and just going through the motions with a therapist (highly doubtful given the public stigma AND her own husband’s not-so-keen feelings about counseling), ever heard of the betterment that can come out of “fake it till you make it”?

    I am a mental health advocate and there are not enough public figures grappling with mental illness in the public eye, despite the fact that 2 out of every 5 people in the US suffers from some form of diagnosed mental illness (40%). We need public awareness to break the stigma…there are no telethons for mental illness, no national fundraising campaigns or drives, no public or private research centers, despite it being an epidemic in this country. Bravo to Bethenny for this small, yet courageous stand.

    And bravo to this extremely creative and entertaining sight! Love your disclaimers ;-)!

    • dcscrewylouie says:

      Meant “site” not “sight”…lol! Love this SITE!!

      Keep ‘em comin’, Angelofdevs! And thanks for your great inSIGHT!

      • Bonnie says:

        I adore her show. It gets better with each one. I’m telling you the girl is funny…LOL funny. Just wonderful. Self-deprecating and very witty. I love Jason with her also. They really make a most beautiful couple and in many ways, her inner smarts kept her free to finally find someone as sweet, intelligent and loving as him and then have a baby who would be raised with alot of love. They are yin and yang and I, for one, am happy to be laughing instead of crying warching her show. Although, I did let a few tears slip out during the wedding.
        I would say that she is the ONLY housewife (other than Kandi from Atlanta) who has the “IT” factor. And I applaud her in all of her glory.

      • angelofdevs says:

        I find Bethenny’s show to be fun as well :).

    • I agree…If I knew I had issues and was finally getting married (after 3 different engagements) and had a child on the way and Able to get the therapy, you can bet I would. The marriage (you Know she has to want to work) and the child she’ll be parenting are two very important reasons to want to get therapy, especially when she had such a chaotic childhood. I don’t believe she is doing it for ‘show’…
      I would tend to think she would like her child to have a near normal childhood (as near normal as a childhood can be), and wants her marriage to work/last.
      I like Jason, what I’ve seen of him so far, and think he’s a good match for her. So they’re opposites…opposites attract…and maybe therapy will even help smooth that out some. Good for her for owning up to needing therapy.

  14. Karen Lee says:

    Bethenny is the smartest and quickest wit out of any of the housewives, in any of the cities. I agree that she is driven and damaged but she is honest about her issues. Jill is extremely jealous and angry that Bethenny made it on her own and she’s not upset that she and Bethenny fell out. She’s upset that her true nature was exposed on national TV and she can’t clean it up. I find Bethenny extremely funny and clever and I wish her every success, whether in her personal life or in her career. And, the girl has clothes to die for. That tutu was devine on her.

    • Amy says:

      I notice that you are a fan of Bethenny’s, which is fine and your choice. I wonder why you felt the need to call out others as “Jill” when those posters didn’t agree with you. for instance, I don’t think you are Bethenny.

      • Karen Lee says:

        Only because I’ve seen Jill do it before. You have heard of Jill and her Amazongate right? Google it. She is not beneath shilling for herself under a non de plume.
        I liked Jill in the first season and less in the last. Each and every one of us have some aspect of all of these diagnoses, me included.

    • Karen Lee, I agree!
      Jill is having to do some back pedaling and making up. Her ‘grudge holding’ tactic backfired on her and she looked very bad in her treatment of Bethenny…especially since we all knew what all was going on with Bethenny and Jill did not. Jill sounded very conniving…the ‘don’t let yourself be filmed with her’ comment was very telling, and now I find out about Amazongate?!! Jill is ‘sorry she got caught’ is what it looks like to me and she should be ….sorry that she even did them—Both. Bet Bobby is plenty embarrassed.
      Don’t agree on everything you said, though…thought the tutu was odd looking; yet, Oddly enough, it seemed to ‘work’ on Bethenny !!!!!!!

  15. Bethenny is my favorite houswife and I wish her success in every part of her life. So, what if she has a little OCD? Don’t we all….

  16. mom2 says:

    Bethenny was snarky in the last 2 seasons, and will always have that quick retort ready to go, however I believe that the events that have happened to her in the past year -within a few months: engagement, loss of a parent (and no, Jill, it doesn’t matter the relationship it still HURTS), working on your businessES, and the biggest life-changer of all (in my opinion) pregnancy/new baby -have changed her. She seems to be focused on her new relationships with her husband and baby and is less invested in this drama and some of these wives. I was glad to see Alex and Simon at her housewarming, hopefully that means they are developing a real friendship and not a “made for tv” one.

    I love her show for what it is: Bethenny embracing a new life. She’s showing the ups and downs of learning to live with someone else and it’s such a rest from the catty drama that has overtaken RHNY.

    • Michelle says:

      I agree with the lot of the replies here too. Bethenny seems the most normal. She is letting the viewer into her private life allowing us to see her warts and all. We see her bicker with Jason. Most of us have relationships like that as well. She admits that she doesn’t like to be surrounded by people and isn’t putting on airs to try to impress us with how social she is like the other housewives that are always entertaining either in their private homes or yachts or even sponsoring a shindig with a high end designer.
      Bethenny doesn’t scare me. She is real. No you don’t have to like her. She would probably be fine with being hated for who she is instead of liked for who she isn’t. Perhaps that is a trait of someone with a strong personality. She is snarky. But admit it, there are a lot of snarky people in the world. She just gets her comments aired on television and you don’t. That is not to say that makes it right. But no one without sin should cast the first stone. Those who don’t favor her may not consider yourself snarky but maybe catty is a better word. We all have done it at one time or another.
      When Bethenny was relieved that everyone in Ramona’s party experienced Kelly’s breakdown she high fived. She wasn’t celebrating Kelly’s disorder. She was vindicated because the other housewives poopooed the idea that Kelly was that, forgive the term; coo coo. She has also since been vindicated since the episode aired as has been a current topic in the media. We are all trying to figure Kelly out and it is frustrating that she is unable to recognize it and instead turns it around and blames the other ladies. I would want to pull out Kelly’s hair out of frustration. Cheers to Bethenny for exhibiting restraint.
      So she might have OCD. As far as I can tell the OCD isn’t really harming anyone. She isn’t out creating enemies by merely existing. She is successful. She is doing what she wants and loves. She has a brand and knows how to market herself.
      At the risk of being a little sycophantic, I identify with Bethenny. Our personalities, although I don’t think I have OCD. Mainly because I have the same sense of humor. Only I think that I curb my tendencies among mixed company because I worry about others not getting my humor then I have to explain myself. There was a scene on her show when Jason and her new assistant were fist bumping. Bethenny said how much she didn’t like it. Jason reminded her that a person she admires fist bumps, Obama. Now I know she is cool!

      • Icey says:

        I also find it amusing when people comment disparagingly about Bethenny’s snark. Where would RHONY have bee with out Bethenny’s commentary? Answer: Cancelled two years ago.

        There is nothing nasty about her comments. She is a comedian.

        This season, Jill tried to create the narrative that Bethenny was ‘mean’, and she got Luann and brainless Kelly to come along for the ride on that. But those 3 only made fools of themselves because it was obviously a fiction, created out of jealousy, and meant soley to sabotage Bethenny. But it backfired because the majority of the audience is a helluva lot smarter than Jill, Luann & Kelly. And no matter how many times they try to blame the editing, or Jill mitigate her behavior by refering to her on-air self as ‘a character’ (as opposed to just her), it doesn’t wash. The audience sees and the audience knows.

  17. You have to STOP!! Quit making me take a good look at myself!!!! I DONT LIKE WHAT I SEE!! Who gave u the freaking crystal ball!! ;-)

  18. Jan says:

    I think Bethenny is seeking the help because she loves her husband and daughter. She wants to make sure she does not pass on to them the treatment she received as a child and adult from her own family. I do not see her business success as a disorder. I see it as being smart and a very hard worker. Her cooking in St. John was a gift to the girls and she LOVES to cook so I did not see that as a need for control. Bethenny is honest about her finances, her past, and her feelings on the show. That honesty makes Kelly and LuAnn uncomfortable, and Jill is jealous of Bethenny’s TRUE happiness and the 3 tried to “delete” her last season.

  19. ShyAsrai says:

    If Bethenny’s response to feeling ‘out of control’ is to cook for others, then OMG she obviously needs an intervention so she can learn how to respond more appropriately! Perhaps KKK can show her how to grab a quick smoke from conveniently hidden crack pipes when she gets stressed… /gentle sarcasm

  20. Alexa says:

    I am a practicing psychologist and I also watch this show. I agree with the poster that those who practice this type of pop-psychology often force their analysis to fit the diagnosis.

    I read your caveat–that this site is for your and others entertainment and that you aren’t offering a real-world diagnosis or analysis.

    I have to say, I don’t agree at all with your analysis of Bethenny being OCD. Liking to control your own situation is not necessarily indicative of OCD (particularly from someone who had little control over a chaotic early life). Likewise, wanting a neat and orderly house isn’t an indicator either.

    OCD is a terribly serious psychological disorder and I can guarantee you–if Bethenny had this disorder, she would be unable to run her business or do this television show.

    She may have some obsessive personality traits–but that’s not the same as having a psychological disorder.

    I think you write well but I won’t visit this site again because I don’t feel it is right to do this to these women when you are not a practicing psychologist. I think it’s dangerous and I’d hate to see other sites follow suit.

    Good day,

    Alexa

    • angelofdevs says:

      Hmmmm given that OCPD and OCD are not the same condition I do have to wonder where your credentials came from.

      Characteristics of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
      Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) reflects a chronic, maladaptive pattern of dealing with other people and life challenges characterized by:

      •an excessive need for perfectionism and control over all aspects of your environment
      •preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order or organization to the extent that you often forget the major point of the activity
      •excessive devotion to work at the expense of time spent with your friends or family
      •rigidity with respect to matters of morals, ethics or values
      •an inability to get rid of items that no longer have value
      •a miserly spending style towards both you and others

      IN CONTRAST:

      Characteristics of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
      Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder, rather than a personality disorder, where you experience recurrent obsessions and compulsions.

      Obsessions are:
      •Thoughts, images, or ideas that won’t go away, are unwanted and cause extreme distress.
      •Accepted as coming from your own mind, but often feel impossible to control.
      •Not simply worries about your everyday problems.
      •Distressing enough to cause you to try to get rid of the obsessions with other thoughts or actions, like compulsions.
      Compulsions are:
      •Behaviors that you feel you must carry out over and over. Common compulsions include cleaning, counting, checking, requesting or demanding reassurance, and ensuring order and symmetry.
      •Aimed at getting rid of your anxiety or to stop a feared situation, such as death of a loved one, from happening.
      •Unrealistic solutions to the problems they are supposed to prevent. If you have OCD, you usually recognize that the compulsion has little to do with the actual event, but feel an intense need to carry out the compulsion anyway.

      I would think a *practicing psychologist* would know these are two DIFFERENT psychological disorders and not continually refer to one disorder I did mention as being a completely different one. Thanks for playing though. I think if you want to pretend you are a psychologist you might want to do it elsewhere.

      • Amy says:

        Now now, up until Alexa’s comment you have been tolerant of posters questioning your diagnoses. I have admired you for it. I am not a practicing psychologist, but I do know that it is unethical for one to diagnose someone who is not a patient. I understand you have made a clear disclaimer, which I understand. Alexa, however may be coming from the point of view that a clinical psychologist shouldn’t do what you are doing. She also has a point that if Bethenny really had a disorder such as you describe she would not be successful, which she is. Bethenny is clearly not disfunctional.

      • angelofdevs says:

        I point out why I doubt Alexa’s veracity. She mistakes OCPD for OCD, they are not the same thing at all. That is something a real psychologist would not do. I do have a disclaimer and I am nothing but honest here. I did not comment on the rest of her comment as I feel she has lied about her credentials. I respect people who disagree with me, even about what I am doing here, but no I will not be respectful of someone who is clearly lying.

        She has misrepresented herself. If I were intolerant I would delete. Everyone has a right to their opinion but I also have the right to point out she is not being truthful about who she is. It is wrong to claim you are a mental health professional when you are not. She was using a falsehood to try to seem like an authority when she is not.

        As for those who say that I should not blog (people other than the one pretending to be a psychologist to say it), I respect if that is the way you feel. If I were a professional psychologist I would not do it (well publicly at least). This blog however is entertainment, I have a psych degree but I clearly state I am not a practicing psychologist. I also point out that as I can only analyze what I see, the conclusions can indeed be flawed.

        Honestly though, true therapy is flawed as well. A therapist can also only analyze what the patient presents to them. Patients do lie. Live action film, especially if it were unedited, would probably be a great way to truly see what is going on in someone’s life. That is a whole other tangent for a whole other day though. It is not meant as a defense of what I am doing here but it is something to consider.

        I continue this blog because it is in the spirit of fun, it makes people think and it adds a new dimension to viewing the housewives. I love the comments from others and the discussions the posts provoke. It also amuses me personally to be frank.

      • dcscrewylouie says:

        As a person working in the field of mental health (non-clinical professional) let me just add that I think this site is GREAT! It’s highly entertaining which is the ONLY thing it purports to be. Yet, it does have quiet a few of us talking about these issues, stressing the importance of seeking treatment, thereby erasing some of the stigma. All of that is good!

        But it is an entertainment site, so if anyone feels they or anyone they know might SERIOUSLY have any of these conditions:

        please call your physician or local mental health center.

        Now that I have the PSA out of the way… Angel, thanks for explaining the difference btwn Axis 2 OCPD and Axis 1 OCD. I noticed a lot of folks seemed to think the two were one in the same. Thoroughly enjoy your work! :-)

  21. NYstateofmind says:

    Interesting site. I knew Bethenny, so for me she has more of the antisocial personality disorder qualities. At least hands down, your point below on that disorder describes her. It even describes the sympathy she’s trying to get from going to therapy on live tv. I wouldn’t be surprised if she uses her pregnancy hormones to get sympathy from her fans should they not be so impressed with her behavior on her new show. Hope she sticks to therapy for the sake of her new family. This isn’t her first therapy rodeo.

    “People with antisocial personality disorder usually play on the sympathies of others. When people’s empathic responses are aroused, they are less inclined to examine an individual’s behaviour. Instead they will attribute bad behaviour to an abusive childhood or other trauma. This provokes the sort of nurturing response that enables the antisocial person to manipulate and extract what she wants from others.

    When they are trying to manipulate others, antisocials often engage in dramatic, short-lived emotional displays designed to provoke sympathy or guilt. They can even cause otherwise rational people to believe that they must be crazy for questioning their motives.”

    • Izzy says:

      What exactly to you mean when you say, “I knew Bethenny?” On a personal level or a psychological level? And where are you getting your definitions and symptoms of Antisocial personality disorder behavior from? According to the American Psychiatric Association, the signs and symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder are the following:

      -persistent lying or stealing
      -apparent lack of remorse for others
      -cruelty to animals
      -history of childhood conduct disorder
      -recurring difficulties with the law
      -substance abuse
      -tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others
      -disregard to safety
      -violent behavior, prone to getting involved in fights.

      Are you sure you are not talking about Danielle, who the author of this blog clearly stated that Danielle possibly does suffer from APD? Because nothing that we have seen, at least on the Housewives series has indicated that Bethenny suffers from APD, according the above symptoms.

      • NYstateofmind says:

        @izzy – I didn’t mean to imply that I thought she has the actual disorder of APD. I don’t. It’s just that the particular quote/definition I mentioned, which came from the author’s blog, spoke to me most about B’s personality. The quote was my point. It happened to be listed under the author’s discussion of APD.

    • Budda DeCat says:

      This assessment of Bethenny seems to fit too (I also see OCPD fitting). She does play to others sympathy — and quite successfully too — look at the people on this board who are in a tizzy at the slightest criticismof her! She is nice to people’s faces and slams them in her confessionals– that is totally fake. She has no friends (Ramona has problems but often when she doesn’t censor what she is saying she says the truth — and her saying that to Bethenny on the bridge didn’t come from nowhere). After 5 seconds of meeting someone she tells them all about her horrible childhood and has described herself as “tortured” many times. She was unbeliavably RUDE to Jason’s friends at the housewarming. Yet fans trip all over themselves to excuse her behavior on a bad childhood. I call bs — a bad childhood doesn’t excuse her fake, rude behavior.

      • KatieC says:

        I guess I kind of don’t think it’s as rude as it is funny. It’s like when she asked if the new one (I forget her name…) was a prostitute when they were on vacation. B didn’t really think that woman had been a whore; she was making a dry, funny comment. Anyone who doesn’t see that either doesn’t get that type of humor or has an incredibly overly-sensitive personality. Which may be another diagnosis in and of itself.

    • Icey says:

      What do you mean when you say you ‘knew Bethenny’? How did you know her?

  22. Susan says:

    I think there is much jealousy about Bethenny, and it’s not all within the confines of the Housewives series. She has much going for her, and people love to find every little fault with someone who is extremely successful. I am not saying that she doesn’t have her issues and agree with the obsessive compulsive assessment. But at least she is seeking help now and on her way to improving herself and relationships.

    • Amy says:

      I like this blog because some of the posters make good articulate points, such as yours. I dislike Bethenny based on her personality. She has an extreme reaction when crossed or opposed, which is mean spirited and sometimes vicious. I think some people do see her this way, but I notice that many many others like her. I don’t get it. I would not want to be friends with her, but it is not out of jealousy. As my mother always said, “to each his own taste.”

      • dcscrewylouie says:

        Amy, I like this blog for the reasons you articulated and, having read your comments, I like you, too. Strangely, though, I really like Bethenny, also. However, I agree with you on almost every point you’ve made in regards to her personality. She is beyond abrasive. She is a bitch. But as Tina Fey says, “Bitches get things done!” AND she is enormously entertaining… intentionally entertaining. Would I want her as a friend? Probably not. I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of one of her tongue lashings. I just wanted to explain that I think everyone (as long as they were born with a head!) can see that B. can be vicious and meanhat’s js just part of what we like about this strong, capable, funny woman. Her imperfections, right down to her ridiculously hoarse NY accent, are refreshingly different.

  23. jayedee aka ntiveheart says:

    um, is this where i sign up to be analyzed? i mean i know that you clearly state that this is for entertainment ONLY, but as there are some that take it so dadgum seriously, i thought i’d get my name on the list, just in case! *wink*

    • Karen Lee says:

      I think it was one of the Marx Bros. that said “any club that would have me as a member I wouldn’t want to join.” Anyway, you came to the right place. I was delighted to find this site, it was a link in a comment on Gawker.com, or The Daily Beast. I can’t remember, but I read it for hours.

      The owner of the site may be interested to know that I’ve now seen this blog linked in many comments, on many websites. It’s in my faves. Good job.

    • angelofdevs says:

      Indeed I do not analyze posters based on their posts. You I will analyze though because I *know* you better. You are an awesome woman with an amazing heart and a tremendous amount of compassion as well as respect for others. I adore you.

  24. stephanie says:

    I think this is a great analysis and I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s posts.

    I don’t really fault her for cooking on the vacation. If I remember correctly she had just become pregnant, she was stressed out about her father, she was stressed out over the continuous strangeness of Kelly and was still not happy about Jill. I think her cooking for herself and her friends was a constructive and healthy way to channel negative energy. She just wanted to keep busy. I’m not disagreeing that she is a workaholic, but it’s a fine line between being ambitious and being mentally ill. I am glad that she is getting the guidance she needs regarding her relationship. I think that was very brave of her.

    One poster mentioned that she seems almost maniacal when she high 5′s the other women when they see Jill is crazy. I think that is only because Kelly really did hide a lot of the BS she directed at Bethenny to start with. I don’t really find too much fault with that. I think it was a breaking point for her. She said it, but didn’t continue on in that vain.

    I do agree…she did lose the baby weight at an alarming rate. IMHO.

  25. Marybelle says:

    @Karen Lee –

    No I am not Jill. I don’t like her either in fact and I think her and B are both nuts and deserve each other. I actually pretty much only tune in for Ramona and Sonja. But yeah, why is it whenever anyone criticizes Bethenny there is the retaliation of “Are you Jill?” or something to that effect. Maybe people JUST don’t like her character.

    • Sue says:

      No, I think it is because alot of us can actually see Jill coming in and writing comments about herself every opportunity she gets. And to presume someone is Jill, is just an educated guess. Especially if the comments reflects Jill’s thoughts. It has been proven that she writes her own comments – Amazon gate. Why would she stop now, when she needs it the most. It is also well known that she has hired assistants to monitor, delete and write on line comments. She has also hired 4 PR personal to turn her image around and majority of the PR these days deals with online contents. Hence, when someone reads, a off normal defense of Jill and snarky jealous spewed remarks of Bethenny is actually writen by Jill and her paid phonies, I would think there is some truth to this.

      • Marybelle says:

        Well I don’t think what I originally wrote was anymore in defense of JIll as it was a ‘jealous’ critique of B. I mentioned Jill only to wonder why (and this is my opinion) viewers love Bethenny and hate Jill when I feel they exhibit many of the same behaviors on the show. Snark, bitchiness, two-faced manipulation, cattiness, ruthlessness, etc. I just think B plays to the cameras a LOT better than Jill and people want to support B as an independent business-woman. Which I also support about her – it is great that she is pursuing her goals professionally and not simply marrying well and sitting around at charity functions. This is also what I like and respect about Ramona. Who knows… I Just think it is silly that viewers are SO attached to B and seem to ignore the realities of what is being showed on RHWONY.

      • Sue says:

        btw Marybell, I wasn’t referring to you by the word jealous. I am just saying there seem to be alot of jealosity toward Bethenny’s success on some of the comments, which has been primarily displayed by Jill behind the scenes, so that’s why I think alot of people think, when they see off the rack jealous mean comment about Bethenny they tend to think it might be Jill.

  26. Sue says:

    Question to the author. (As I have mentioned above) I always thought Bethenny is one of the more normal ones. On top, she is insightful enough to know she still has issues that she needs to deal with in order to move on to a next step. So my questions is, I always thought the reason for her abrasiveness is because of her masculine personality. Can this not be the real reason for her being the agressive person that she is? She doesnt have a girl next door, sweet persona, alot of women PUT ON. Social norm of how a woman should act and say. She is frank to the point that it is poignant and sharp. She is like a guys-girl. She can hang around with any man and feel like one of the guys, albeit she dresses more femininely. She speaks a language many of us were taught not to, because it’s unlady like. She doesn’t care, I would think growing up in the horse track, with boobs and man who like to gamble would do this to you. I also think she is very straight forward and for the sake of reality tv show does not sensor her words. She can be harsh, but I think it’s all learned traits that she has picked up in the race track, not a personality disorder.

    I think you are wrong in your diagnoses. Every business woman has to be well organized and on top of ones business. It’s great that she has the brains and ability to juggle all the balls thrown at her to achieve her success. If you are not in control as Bethenny is, the chances are you will fail. As a business woman myself, I know what it takes to succeed or not succeed. Her wanting to cook for Ramona at the Island was a very smart, warm gift. Also business savy too. She even explained with Kelly questioning her cridential as a chef, she couldn’t help but be mindful. But then when Kelly’s steak turned up raw, still attached to a string, she took it in stride and said, it’s just a meal… or something to that affect. A obssessive compulsive person would never let something like this go the way Bethenny did. She can take jabs and ciriticism with a stride and able to brush it off and move on. I find it rather surprising that you would point that out as being obsessively controling.

    All in all, I think it’s great Bethenny is going to see a shrink. Therapy is not only for the mentally disturbed or someone with a disorder. It’s therapeutic to talk your issues through with people who knows what they are doing.

    • Jan says:

      As far as the steak, the hired chef on site had cooked it and Bethenny was telling him it was ok to make him not feel badly for Kelly’s complaint. Bethenny re cooked it and kept the bad one for herself and they gave Kelly a new cooked steak. Bethenny had made the sauce & veg & crab dish, for dinner and salsa & cocktails before dinner. Bethenny was truly trying to treat Ramona and her friends but Kelly had to complain about everything even Sonja stating the food was so good.

    • angelofdevs says:

      I respect your opinion but as I have to say prior to very recently Bethenny has indeed struggled with her life in a significant way. She herself last season was the first to admit she has a problem with obsessing about business and also with allowing anyone to get too close to her emotionally. Last season she really struggled emotionally with things and I think we see the improvements she has made this season because of it.

      • Sue says:

        right, but that’s what I’m confused about. She had a very cold dad who wanted nothing to do with her and abusive mom, who let her grow up in booz enticed horse track with man who likes to drink and gamble, which explains her abrasive personality. Her saying she is obsessed with her work, is her OWN words – I have heard these words come out of so many people around me especially as they try to set a new venture/business up. But perhaps, I don’t understand these “disorders” so much.. so people who had certain experiences in life that makes them more abrasive, or are in a certain stage of their life where they have to really give it their 100%, literally be obsessed with their work to make it successful, all have a MENTAL DISORDER? Is this how disorders are diagnosed? I’m not being sarcastic by the way, I’m really curious. Because that means I have alot of ill people around me!

  27. Tamara says:

    I think this blog and everyone’s comments are fascinating! Someone else has suggested that the author do an analysis on the Housewives fans and why we find the series so intriguing. I for one would love to hear an in-depth perspective of people who are a bit obsessed with it all. Is it because we see ourselves, friends, family members or colleagues in the Housewives, or do we find comfort in seeing women falter who in American terms, “have it all?” I am thinking about all of this after Seinfeld’s comment today of how he thinks the Housewives series as “anti-women.” And I am wondering if the series is really about the dark side of women and why it has become such a phenomenon.

    • Jo Marie says:

      I am a big fan of Absolutely Fabulous as well as Jane Austin, Bronte Sisters, Ann Tyler, and many other studies of women, their lives and characters. There are people in my own life that display these characteristics to greater and lesser degrees and their dramas play out in similar ways. I’ve learned to stand back and enjoy the spectacle.

  28. stephanie says:

    I agree with Sue. Bethenny is a business woman for an eye for detail. I can see how her workaholic tendencies could possibly spill detrimentally into her personal life, but I think she is congnizant of that herself. She doesn’t like doing things halfway. I don’t think it’s a fault or a symptom of mental illness at this point.

    Again, as for her meltdown concerning Kelly, I think Kelly has been “gaslighting” Bethenny for quite some time. I think she was happy that other people finally were witnessing what really goes on. Kelly has accused Bethenny of the most ridiculous things. Just read some of the “crazy” things Kelly has been saying to Bethenny. Bethenny doesn’t have quotations at this site, but there are other quotes from other HW’s.

    http://www.prettyandstupid.com/idiot/176

    • Karen Lee says:

      Stephanie, that’s perfect, gaslighting. That is exactly the way I see it but I forgot the term. Bethenny seemed relieved that the others were finally able to see Kelly’s behavior the way she saw it.

      I also like the suggestion of analyzing why we watch these particular shows and how/why we align ourselves with certain cast members.

      I’m all for successful women whether or not it’s measured by financial or personal success. I don’t even mind that Jill’s in the chips because she’s married to an affluent man. That’s her journey. There may come a time when I see behavior in Bethenny, Alex or Sonja that I don’t care for, but for now, I don’t see anything terribly disordered about these three. Hell, if you saw my life, I could fit aspects of many of those disorders during various times in my life. For now, I’m a fairly contented woman.

      • angelofdevs says:

        I am going to have to agree with Stephanie and Karen Lee here. I think Bethenny was so relieved to have other people see what she has seen all along. Her excitement was due to the a-ha euphoria of knowing it was not just her that saw the craziness, she felt justified and proven right. I don’t think it was glee about Kelly’s breakdown so much as happiness that she was somehow vindicated.

    • angelofdevs says:

      I agreed on the gaslighting but I do think prior to this season that Bethenny has indeed let her work rule her life. I do think she has had some serious issues related to her OCPD and in season two really had to confront that.

      • Kimberly says:

        Maybe another reason for Bethenny’s work ethic is because she did not have parents to help her out once she was on her own. She came from the complete opposite world that Theresa came from. T. said her daddy gave her everything she wanted. Which is actually a form of child abuse. You hinder a person, don’t let them gain the confidence and skill that doing for themselves brings, your cripple them. Just look at Lynne’s daughters. Aren’t they something to be proud of!

  29. rich says:

    On this lastest Bethanny episode, she and jason walked into a jewerly store to buy their weeding bands. When they walked into the store and said hello to the jeweler and his assistant they only KISSED ON ONE CHEEK. The horror!
    This two cheek kissing that everybody does, trying to gain some class from the French or Europeans is hysterical. Watch during the episodes how kissing on one cheek is not enough, how they always stumble realizing, as the head turns, that they are supposed to plant a kiss on the opposite cheek. Especially the Countess. hahahaha.
    If they were really real, they would give that shit up and be themselves….

    • Kimberly says:

      Right on. The countess said at the reunion, why get one kiss when you can have two. Oh puh-leeze! LuAnn can’t stand half the people she’s kissing twice.

  30. Jo Marie says:

    I think Bethenny is still reacting to her childhood. A face to face with Kelly probably pushes the same buttons that were installed by her addicted, abused, self abusive mother. Children had better develop some pretty effective coping skills. Bethenny also had a stint at boarding school and the New York accent she learned is not well respected in certain environments. Perhaps the put downs she’s suffered from the “Countess” hit a particular sore spot.

  31. Lauren says:

    I agree with this assessment but at the same time I don’t. As someone who went to an all girls high school, I was seen as somewhat of a “Bethenny.” I think many women, especially when in group settings, are taught to behave a certain way. I think we are expected to be automatically understanding, gentle, and to bite our tongues. I think this is why some women see her as a bitch and would not want her as a friend. In high school I couldn’t possibly ever tell a friend “Oh, don’t worry that boy will call you again,” after a romp in his car, no sorry honey he ain’t callin’. Like others have stated, Bethenny has created her own stability out of much chaos and she seems to be aware of her control issues. I find it even more fascinating the type of people that might be rebelled by a personality like Beth’s. Everyone has their flaws, but do you really want someone trying to sell you Satchels of Gold (lol) or satchels of truth even if they might sting a little. Love the site!

  32. angelofdevs says:

    I do think a person’s upbringing and life experiences can obviously contribute to emotional issues.

    This blog is not a slam at Bethenny in any way, nor are any of my blogs slams at the other housewives for that matter. Pointing out people’s behaviors and life patterns is what it is. It is not a personal attack but rather a way to understand them, their behavior and motivations.

    I point out the very healthy measures Bethenny has taken to improve her behaviors and I do say she is vastly improved from the Bethenny we first met. I still see signs of a struggle with OCPD in her, obviously she also sees some room for improvements in her life.

    These women are not all at same degrees of illness obviously. Some disorders are easier than others to cope with as well. I think if you watch the shows you will see that these disorders still have an impact on these women to varying degrees.

    Do I think Bethenny and Ramona are as ill as Kelly or Danielle? No. Do I think they have issues they deal with based on milder forms of personality disorders? Yes.

  33. Samantha Weeks says:

    I’m gonna set it strait for you. You don’t fucking know her, and you will never be able to base your opinion, (because that’s what it is) on a reality tv show. I would really like to watch a show about you, and make a posting about your problems. Actually I would spend my time living my life, instead of hovering over a laptop writing about other peoples lives. People like you, who have to sit and write shit about other people are simply pathetic. And that’s what you are.

    • angelofdevs says:

      You are very hostile Samantha. I often wonder about people who get too attached to the Housewives that they feel the need to attack others over them. I am guessing this could be what is happening here.

      I am not a Real Housewife and I would never sign on for such a show myself so I guess your dream will never come to fruition. You are more than welcome to make a blog about me if that is what you wish but I doubt there will be much interest because my private life is not out there on television for you to do so.

      I have a lovely life thanks, this is merely a hobby while I am a temporary housewife. Granted it is not saving the world but it is not hurting it either and it seems to make some other people happy.

      I wish you well finding something that is of more interest to you and hope that you find an productive outlet for that hatred as well. You sound very unhappy and I think that is sad. Try working on why you need to attack and insult others maybe.

    • design girl in the atl says:

      When a person signs up for a reality show.. they do it because they want to be famous and they want to be discussed.

      Don’t take this so personally.

    • Jan says:

      You need to take a shower and go for a nice walk in the sunshine.

  34. Kimberly says:

    Bethenny is my favorite of all the RH shows. Her quick wit and ability to laugh at herself are great to watch. I think she is the most down to earth one. To have parents that are out of your life by their choice would devastate most people. Like she said, I should”ve ended up in a crack den. When Kelly was making excuses for B’s father’s behavior and then said it was “creepy” Bethenny was on the trip, ticked me off. This poor women had a father that wanted nothing to do with her and then Kelly adds, ” no one cares about you Bethenny, no one”. Then Kelly says she hated the trip, in part, because they were talking bad about people and bullying her. Kelly is clearly delusional. Jill knows she ruined a good friendship and has to live with the consequenses.

  35. Miranda says:

    Another facet of Bethenny’s personality disorders is co-dependance at the root of her control issues. This became very clear to me watching her therapy session in BGM because I myself am co-dependant. It was like watching one of my own therapy sessions.

  36. design girl in the atl says:

    I agree with a lot of the comments about Bethenny. I also think she is rude and her one liners – although funny – are often pretty mean. And, those of you who think she isn’t mean, go back to the previous seasons she has had PLENTY to say about other people. No, Jill is not as quick and as funny as Bethenny.. but they are just the same. They talk crap about other people and then do the whole “I’m so sorry and I didn’t mean it like that” song and dance when they get called out for it. And, I think she shouldn’t have egged Kelly on the way she did just to prove a point. Kelly is clearly mentally unstable. And watching the reunion made me cringe. I had to turn it off. When someone starts to freak out like that you need to just let it go. To keep going after someone – who you know isn’t right in the head – is just mean. Honestly I’m kind of put out with Bravo for even letting that whole St. Johns thing go down just to get some ratings.

    That being said I think these “diagnoses” of these women’s characters are hilarious. Keep up the good work.

  37. Joy Day says:

    Sweet Bethenny…what ever her personality is…she is a go getter and very successful at what she does. If we could all be perfect we’d be dead!!

  38. fugoverdose says:

    B is the least favorite of all the wives …
    ramona & alex a close second ..
    these are cruel women , lacking in empathy & love ..
    i find B offensive & at the reunion the smug look on her face & her cruel comments made me realize this will not turn out well ..
    her show will fail ..
    she pretends to ‘own’ her flaws to endear herself to others but on the contrary i think she ‘s a user & a game player ..
    i had a tough life too but i have ethics & i would never dream of calling someone a ‘snake’ or a ‘drag queen’ or telling all the gossip rags that an aquaintance had a breakdown & is crazy! whew ! that’s low class ..
    won’t even say what i think about exploiting her family & fathers death on TV ..
    i would need expletives ..
    anyway thanks for a wonderful blog & brilliant assessment of the ‘wives’…

    • Jan says:

      WOW. Bravo asked viewers who would they like to go on vacation with from the NY housewives and Bethenny WON hands down. Bethenny’s new show set a record for viewers for a new show on Bravo. Bethenny’s books are top sellers. Your opinion seems to differ from most people.

      • Dark Star says:

        I love the “lemmling” argument! “most people” like Bethenney so if you don’t want to be an “outcast” be a good little sheep and like her too, ya weirdo! Who cares if “most” people like? “most” of the Germans liked Hitler and “most” of the Italians liked Mussolini. BFD!! People don’t have to like Bethenney. I dont like any of the housewives — seriously these are women who expose themelves on tv to get a little fame, because they don’t have the beauty, brains or talent to get it any other way. Sure, I watch but I consider it like watching a train wreck as in: just what the heck else are these women willing to do to be on tv? Peeing on a pregnancy stick? CHECK! What Really blows my mind is that there are actually people out there who become FANS of these trainwrecks and who actually get offended when someone doesn’t like them! Jeez Louise — get a hobby!

    • Karen says:

      I agree with you 100%! Unless she changes her ways, her career, which is based on exposing her private life more than anything else, will be short lived.

  39. Monica says:

    I agree with your posts on the other Housewives, but Bethenny? No. I don’t think there’s anything pathological going on there or anything else that falls outside the scope of being a normal human being. I think she’s the most reflective and insightful individual on any of the Housewives and one of the very few who are genuine and SANE. This one just seemed like you were warping her behaviors to fit into this interpretation of a “diagnosis.”

  40. Karen Lee says:

    bethenny is the most grounded & jill is a hateful person that has now set her sights on alex because she is angry that she & bethenny are friends. i will not watch any new seasons of these shows.

  41. Tim says:

    Bethanny cracks me up. She has a thing about her new employee, Max’s hair. He has even become self-conscious about it. She told him last night, in an offhand manner, “your hair looks very agressive today.” So funny. And Jason likes the kid because he’s much smaller and presents no threat, or physical challenge. Bethanny’s show is entertaining because ‘she’ is entertaining, even when she’s trying not to be.
    I can relate to the fact that she doesn’t want company or a lot of people hanging around, but to make her bucks, she needs to put up with this for a season or two.
    And she’s smart enough to be grateful for her new opportunities, along with the down side that comes with it. I’m so glad her personality type is among the millions that are out there on real tv. She’s the only one who’s fast enough and funny enough to keep me watching.

  42. Jan says:

    Bethenny is definitely my favorite of the housewives. I love her show, her husband, his parents and Cookie, the dog. Her show is a great new REAL reality show.

  43. onvacation says:

    Since I did not view the first season of Housewives of NYC, I really don’t know why Bethenny’s mom is such a problem and cannot find anything explaining why she and Bethenny are now estranged. Did Bethenny ever explain why her childhood was so traumatic and what her mother did to her to cause such intense pain?

    Thanks……..

    • Jan says:

      Her mother took her away from her father when she was 4 years old.Her father who was a horse trainer compared her mother to a mustang and says you have to let her run free. Her mother married and divorced multiple times. Bethenny said as a child she called the police to keep people in her home from getting hurt. Bethenny said her mother would not be happy for her so she did not invite her to the wedding. Bethenny said her mother called her while she was in labor at the hospital but Bethenny did not speak with her as this was not a good time to deal with drama from her mother. Bethenny said she believed one of the reasons her father did not like her was he said she reminded him of her mother.

  44. Jo Marie says:

    We don’t know much about her mother but she gave a brief description of traits to her therapist in her new show. She obviously feels damaged by her childhood.

  45. onvacation says:

    Thanks Jan and Jo Marie for commenting….very interesting.

  46. Shelli (lotusflowah) says:

    My ex has OCPD with controlling features (I still swear the mental health professionals added the last part simply because he took controlling to another leavel they hadn’t seen before). He was high-functioning to a point. Much like a teapot that simmers for yrs until they explode from the pressure.

    In a lot of ways, this is how I see Bethenny (sans the inpatient stay). In her spouse she chose someone who would not threaten her control or disrupt her environment except in ways she allowed. My concern, and granted this comes from being the “Jason” in a marriage, is that one day the demands and quest for success may overcome her and take her marriage with it. I tweeted to her that I hoped she would remain in therapy and was proud of her and I meant it. So long as she recognizes these traits within herself and manages the success and family in a healthy way, I think she will do great and wish her only the best.

    • Karen Lee says:

      I have a different take on marriage, relationships and how or why we determine their success. Who decided that only long term relationships were successful? I don’t understand why people freak out when they hear that a couple is getting divorced after many years of marriage. You always hear ” OMG but they were together so long”. I guess that means they should stay together for ever as long as it fits into some notion of a successful marriage, based on length. Maybe it was time to seperate. Maybe they were unhappy. I’ve had long term, short term and even one night stands that I consider successful. I don’t believe we are meant to mate for life. It’s too confining. And I deplore the social stigma related divorce.

  47. johanna says:

    I live in NY – Manhattan to be specific on the UES. I’m so surprised to read the interpretation of BF conduct as being “bitchy” and similar items of that ilk. Manhattan is full of girls like BF; girls who are trying to make a living without any help from family or any financial backing. Did you see how “empty” BF’s apartment was (before she moved to a new apartment with Jason). Not an extra dime to buy furniture or to decorate. She’s just a girl trying to make a life for herself with no money and no family – only child, mother apparently a lunatic and dad completely unavailable. I see her as very funny and with a great deal of sensitivity underneath a “so-called” abrasiveness. Very often women who grow up with “crazy” families respond to the “craziness” by confronting the crazy behavior with facts – rather than participating in the “crazy” worldview and I think BF is using this strategy rather than ignoring the aberrant (sp?) behavior of others. This makes her appear more confrontational. What is more interesting to me is the anger and malevolence directed by women against other women displayed in this thread. The judgmental nonsense written displayed by some of the posters really reflects their own unhappiness and is most unfortunate. Ladies, get a life! Or maybe a hobby! (I know, I know, I just couldn’t resist it!)

    • Karen Lee says:

      Bethenny’s brand of bitchiness is what attracted me to my friends from NYC and then to Bethenny’s personality on this show. I love the upfrontness and sardonic sense of humor. We would never refer to a man’s drive as bitchy or wrong. Not saying she doesn’t have some damage but I find her the most likable and damn, she is fast and funny. Romanics? Please, the woman has mad word skills.

  48. sweetviolet54 says:

    I think its interesting Bethanny chose a man like Jason, that at least on the surface, seems to be non-combative and pretty easy going. He seems to take all her “dramatics” (for lack of a better word) in stride, so far. It seems people often time pick a significant other that most mirrors the conflicts in their lives, going with what is comfortable rather than what may be healthier. It could be quite interesting to see this relationship develop and how Bethanny deals with her perfectionism in raising a child. I have so enjoyed everyone’s input and thoughts on the housewives. And, one last thought…when Jason’s Mom helped her with her wedding dress, I thought to myself, now she’s a woman with CLASS!!

    • Jan says:

      We see Jason standing up to Bethenny and she LISTENS. I think they will do fine.

      • violet54 says:

        Jan, I didn’t word it very well, because I was trying to give Bethenny a thumbs up for her choice! I’m hoping all the best for them, too! Wouldn’t it be refreshing to see a couple actually embrace each others idiosyncrasies (although I’ve yet to see Jason’s, yet I’m sure he must have some)and overcome the problems confronting them as newlyweds.

  49. Thanks for your info…
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    So you can get higher alexa rank day by day. It’s at http://myrankup.com

  50. Deeva says:

    I read over and over all over internet that Bethenny and her assistants go anywhere that is talked about B. and anyone that hates B. (and there seems to be more haters than fans. Maybe that’s why nobody turned up in Cosco to see her) accuse them of being Kelly or Jill. And it’s really true. The line of accusations are so a like, and B. herself is using multiple names to attack others, accuse them of being Jill/Kelly/LuAnne or flatter herself. She is really sick and will be done pretty soon, since her show hasn’t taken off and no spin off will help this time around.

    • Jan says:

      Her Skinny Girl drink is selling so fast that stores cannot keep it in stock. They are making it as fast as possible. Her brand is thriving.

  51. Andre says:

    Sometimes when I watch Danielle from RHoNJ, she reminds me of Bethenny. It just creeps me out. I think they are both mental, however, Bethanny is more cruel and sadistic. And what’s funny or rather sad is that B has the audacity of making fun of other peoples’ looks when she the ugliest big face ever.

  52. McKenzie says:

    How do you know these women are unhappy? Maybe they just don’t like Bethanny. Oh, unless you’re implying you’re happy because you do…..

  53. Jan says:

    Do you think Bethenny helped herself by telling all about her past in this week’s People Magazine?? I wish you would update your post about her since her wedding and the People mag. article. Is her therapy helping?

  54. A Bethenny Fan says:

    I watched Bethenny’s wedding last night and it was heart warming and refreshing to see Bethenny look so happy and to see that she was willing to give up some of her control issues to just enjoy herself and let Jason’s friends jump in the pool and her guests go crazy on the dance floor. Alex and Simon and Ramona and Mario were the only guests from RHONY and they just supported and complimented Bethenny.

    Bethenny’s show is a welcome break from all the drama and catfights of RHONY. I am so glad Bravo gave Bethenny her own show and didn’t air the wedding on RHONY so we were spared having to put up with Jill trying to hog the spotlight from the bride, Kelly rambling on incoherently and The Countess smooching her new boyfriend and talking about her new record contract. None of them could share Bethenny’s happiness so it is good that they weren’t there.

    Bethenny seems to have softened and changed her priorities with Jason and the baby in her life. It is so refreshing to see a reality show that is genuine and not staged and melodramatic.

  55. Karen Lee says:

    I watched last nights wedding episode and I cried for her happiness. This is a woman that had no positive role models or caretakers as a child and had to parent herself. She will be able to love her child in the manner she was denied. Now she has a family and it appears she is embracing not only Jason, but his family as well. Only good can come from this and I hope she stays in therapy and continues down the road of self actualization. The look in her eyes as she stood with Jason was very moving, at least for me it was.

    I doubt if I will watch the DC wives. For me, the adventure of watching the housewives has been satisfied. I will continue to read this blog because I find it absolutely fascinating, not just Angel’s analysis, but the comments themselves for me, have been illuminating. Oh, and I’ll never stop reading Richard Lawson either. Thanks Angel for one of the most entertaining blogs I’ve stumbled upon in a long time.

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  60. This is the greatest nonsenese I ever heared off.

  61. 轮盘赌博 says:

    Great idea, but will this work over the long run?

  62. psychiatry is corrupt says:

    you’ll note that Bethanny is just turning 40 and is now getting married. The other guys must have found her just as unbearable as I do. The guy she scrounged up for a husband seems kind of girly. this might tell you something if you think of her as a role model.

    Weird how psychiatry seems to only have 5 hour long explanations and books written about pepole who are behaving in a way culture finds unvavorable yet is completely unbalanced in explaining why someone wants to act like a “proper” middle class American or why it is important to do so. Psychiatry seems to completely ignore the fact that humans are hunter gatherers and non tribal civilization is only a few thousand years old vs several hundred thousand years living as wild “creatures”

  63. Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

  64. SAMARA says:

    I THINK BETHENNY IS THE BOMB. WE UNDERDOGS LOVE TO SEE SOMEONE MAKE IT ON THEIR OWN TERMS, WITHOUT MARRYING MONEY. KELLY, JILL, LOU-ANN ALL MARRIED MONEY. THEY DID NOT HAVE NOTHING OF THEIR OWN. BETHENNY DECIDED FIRST TO COOK FOR ROMONA, THEN KELLY DECIDED TO TAKE PICTURES. KELLY BULLIED BETH THE WHOLE TIME, I PERSONALLY THINK SHE WANTED HER TO LOSE HER BABY, WITH ALL THE HURTFUL, NASTY THING KELLY SAID. BETHENNY/JASON IS A GOOD MATCH. JASON WILL TELL HER LIKE IT IS WHEN NEEDED. HE IS HIS OWN MAN. I LOVE HIS PARENTS AND I THINK BETH IS REALLY HAPPY WITH THE FAMILY SHE MARRIED INTO. BETHENNY NEEDS SOMEONE TO TELL HER ABOUT HERSELF IN A LOVING/NUTURING WAY, AND JASON DOES THAT. I READ WHERE SOME YOU YOU THINK HE IS A PUSH-OVER. HE REMINDS ME OF MY HUSBAND. HE SAYS WHAT HE MEANS/ANS MEANS WHAT HE SAYS. HE A GREAT MATCH FOR HER. I WISH THE THREE OF THEM THE BEST. KELLY IS NOW TRYING TO MIX DRINKS, COOK, AND HAVE HER OWN REALITY SHOW ON YOU TUBE. HOW JEALOUS IS KELLY? SHE WANTS WHAT BETH HAS-KELLY HAVE EVERYTHING A WOMAN WANTS-EXCEPT A MAN WHO LOVES HER FOR WHO SHE IS. NO AMOUNT OF MONEY CAN WARM YOUR HEART….. BETH SHOW IS REAL….

    • Vicki says:

      Right-On, Hear-Hear, Excellent, Way-to-Go, For Sure, AMEN !!!!
      I agree completely with you, Samara, and wish Bethenny & Jason the Very Best. Jason is so level headed — caring, loving, concerned and in love with Bethenny, I just love watching him. He’s on an even keel, for sure. I love hearing/watching them interact with one another.

  65. Catherine says:

    I have always found it odd how so many women think Bethenny is so wonderful. I thought she was funny at first but found her sad and pathetic when she tried to (drunkenly) force the first Jason to move in together after only six months. I do not think she and Jason “planned” her pregnancy. She has said they planned the pregnancy but then said it was a surprise. She also can’t seem to figure out when they started going out…another story that changed often. She is mean and talks behind everyones back (maybe that’s where Kim G learned how to do it?). I cringe at the way she speaks to her husband and agree with the posters who commented on her anger problems.

    • HWM says:

      Catherine your spot-on but I also think that she planned the pregnancy and wedding to further her brand only not becuse she loved Jason and wanted to share her life with him, it was all a business decision to get attention she is a fame whore.

  66. Wall St Man says:

    I wanted to discuss this http://www.realitytea.com/2010/08/12/photos-bethenny. Remember B calls Atlanta HW Getto. As I remember she implied that Alex & Kelly ‘s were not tasteful as anything she would do would be.

  67. devo says:

    I think you are little bit confused about the difference between OCD and OCPD. It is easier to discern if you look at the difference between and anxiety disorder (OCD) and a personality disorder (OCPD).

    I don’t believe Bethenny Frankel has OCPD, though I do think that she has OCD. Anyone would have trouble discerning the two by your definition, there is more to it than a list of symptoms. The big difference is that OCPD is a personality disorder and OCD is an Anxiety disorder. According to your assesment, you would say that I have OCPD, the entire list of core beliefs that you have listed applies to me. I have been diagnosed with OCD by an extremely intelligent OCD specialist and she assured me of the differences between OCD and OCPD and some of the misconceptions about both. Not everyone with OCD has apparent compulsions, for instance I do not wash my hands or check locks or engage in any apparent repetitive behavior whatsoever. One of the big differences between the two disorders is that someone with OCD is self aware that their patterns of thoughts are irrational and will say things like “I know it’s silly, but….” I see Bethenny Frankel apologizing for herself constantly. Someone with OCPD is not aware that their rigid thoughts are irrational, and therefor will feel no desire or need to make such apologies. This lack of awareness is defining in personality disorders. People with personality disorders are often viewed as having trouble experiencing empathy or being narcissitic, and frequently have a difference of opinion with the majority about what is actually going on. OCD is an anxiety disorder, and people with both disorders can have low self esteem, but the anxiety disorder subject tends to be marked by self doubt and feelings of inadequacy. The personality disorder subject often truly believes that they are correct, and will not have these feelings of self doubt. I believe Kelly Bensimon is more likely the one with a personality disorder, her “delusions” are indicative of it. Her behavior and self perception is typical of personality disorders. Bethenny Frankel on the other hand is highly rational which is not indicative of a personality disorder whatsoever, in fact quite the opposite.

    • Fshatto says:

      I think you may actually be the one misunderstanding the difference between OCD and OCPD. OCD wouldn’t seem to descride B’s drive to success (or perfection) as well as OCPD would. Someone with OCPD can have an anxiety disorder as well and still not be considered to have OCD. I agree that people with personality disorders almost always have poor insight, but again this does not mean that a person with a personality disorder cannot have insight (especially after consideration of a situation) into their unhealthy behaviors. I would even suggest that her insight could come from having been in therapy before.

      I actually commented on your comment because I was looking to comment on the original post to correct all of the previous comments suggesting B has OCD when it was OCPD that the author suggested. Most people don’t know the difference and it can be quite confusing seeing as how the names of the disorders are so similar.

  68. Heidi Draffin says:

    When I moved to the West Coast from NYC it was nearly three years before I had been able to slow the freight train of personality down to keep from ‘scaring’ people. I actually heard comments made around me concerning ‘composure’ and ‘decorum’, ‘abrasiveness’ and ‘drama’. New Yorkers as a whole, are dramatic. And if you come from the lunatic fringe of the performing arts, or places like betting halls you get a double dose. Betheny maybe be obsessive-compulsive but her intensity is not simply and artifact of a coping mechanism. She is passionate, and brave, and intelligent and quick witted and about as scarey as a mouse. She soaked up the dramatic affect of her cultural milleu. I find her genuinely polite until provoked, and then extremely refreshingly sincere. In fact she almost always means exactly what she says….I sympathize with her deeply that people do not take her at her word.

  69. HWM says:

    Bethenny is self absorbed, narcisstic,, mean spirited, sarcastic, lying, pathetic human. Her sarcasm is NOT the least bit FUNNY! Her fans are nasty like her and will attack like rabid animals when anything negative is written about her. She has a OCBitch Disorder !! Greedy, money hungry, skinnygirl complex.

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